trdd wrote:Your story continues to interest me.... as I am not a cuckold and even though the idea can be a turn on the reality probably isn't for me or my wife. But denial dynamics are part of the turn on so your story is of interest.
At this point I have a few more questions for you. What do you hope to get out of this period between now and your birthday? What would the ideal scenario develop into for you? And would you be willing to share your aspiration with your wife at some point during this time?
My other primary question is one that has continued to nag at me as I pop into your thread. Perhaps some of it has been answered but it seems like the underlying motivation for your wife is still unknown. Is it that penetration is painful for her? Or she just finds it distasteful? Or do you think, for some reason, it is just penetration with you that she is trying to avoid? I apologize if you've gotten into this a little bit before and I don't remember but have you asked her any of these questions and gotten her to speak about it?
I do find the contrast between your relationship and mine interesting too. Although I have performed oral sex for my wife many many times she often feels a bit uncomfortable with it. Not in a physical way, LOL, but it is clearly psychological. I have made her orgasm through oral sex and she enjoys it but as typical foreplay she is often just slightly uncomfortable with me being down there. She doesn't really know why it just makes her a little uncomfortable. Now if she's had a lot to drink she's less uncomfortable with it, lesson inhibited. But the norm, if there is a norm in our sex life, would be that every other time or so I will warm her up orally and she will pull me up to come inside her. She clearly has a preference for penetration and has stated it many times to me.
Another interesting Dynamic with this is that we do play with bondage fairly often. When we do we switch roles as to who is on top. If I am helpless and often blindfolded as well she enjoys getting on top of me and demanding oral. She will often already be very very wet by the time that happens. A cool development is that we were looking at some porn recently and she expressed an interest with video of the woman in control. So I brought up a video that showed a woman teasing and denying a man with an eventual ruined orgasm. So that night she was on top I was helpless but she couldn't bring herself to give me a ruined orgasm, which was fine LOL, but I hope she gets more confident with that moving forward. But that night she demanded oral and ended up orgasming without me inside of her. In the end she took pity and I was able to come inside of her and finish.
All good questions. So I don’t really have a great plan here to be honest. I brought up the idea of taking sex off the table for two reasons: one, the denial aspect turns me on (and it’s not like we are having frequent sex anyway, so it’s almost semantical, but psychologically, I find it hot); two, I was curious to see her reaction to such a proposal. I suppose that’s the part of this thst is fantasy vs. reality — the fantasy is that she’d say: “Great, but can’t we make it longer!” — the reality I was expecting was for her to respond as if she felt bad for her lack of interest in sex forcing it to take it this far. I feel like earlier in our relationship, she absolutely would have been opposed to it, thinking it meant I might go and cheat on her or whatever.
So once I said it and she responded favorably, I kind of feel like I entered uncharted waters. Now that it’s happened, I’m wondering how I should try and steer it to play out, for whatever part of it I can control. Are there things I can try or push in the next two months to expand our sex life with sex not an option? I had mentioned earlier the idea of pegging, etc., but my gut tells me that is too extremme for right now and I don’t want to get out ahead of my skis. At the same time, I also could be surprised by how far my wife is willing for this to go and I don’t want to miss an opportunity.
And then as for my birthday, I’m very curious to see how they night will play out and how or if I should reference it at all for now. Meaning, do I keep alluding to the fact that sex isn’t an option for me right now and how desperate I want it or just completely ignore it and go about our sex life without mentioning it. I’d prefer to do the former, but I’m worried the fantasy could crumble a bit if she doesn’t play along — she could just say, “well we don’t have to wait, let’s just have sex.” Because I’m the one who suggested it, I don’t want to put her in a position of thinking she’s the bad guy and hurting me or our relationship. And as for that night itself, I’m also wondering if she’ll try to push “the game” at all. She has very often throughout our sex life tried to get me to cum early when she knows I want sex — she’ll extend foreplay to make me cum (usually in her mouth), essentially denying me her pussy for the night. She’s always enjoyed doing that, in part because she can tell I enjoy it and also in part because she’ll enjoy me working on her clit with my fingers while I’m in her mouth more than she enjoys penetration. I’m wondering if it might happen that night as it will probably include lingerie and foreplay. I’m also wondering if I should let it happen, meaning I’ll be so worked up, it would not be hard to withhold self control and cum early if I don’t actively try not to. Which then also begs the question, perhaps I should suggest a new “no sex period” before we get to thst night, so if I do cum before sex, I’d then be forced to wait another few months for the opportunity again. I’m intrigued to see how far I could push this and it is hot to think we might end up having even less sex in 2019 than we did in 2018.
You also asked about my wife’s mindset, and for that, I’m only guessing. I think it’s clear she enjoys my fingers or tongue more than intercourse, but it’s definitely more than that. I guess the fantasy is that she thinks I’m bad at sex perhaps, but I genuinely don’t think that’s the case. It honestly could be as simple as her being fearful of UTIs, which she is. Whenever we have been in periods of frequent sex historically, she will get a UTI, and she hasn’t gotten any in a long time, let alone multiple ones like she would. She hates them and it could just be that she has realized avoiding sex prevents them, so as long as I’m happy not having sex, it’s a win-win for her.
And lastly, as for bringing up any of this in a more direct way with my wife, those conversations typically don’t go well. Bringing in your situation, she is not like your wife in thst she is not openly into any sexual kinks. She doesn’t masterbate or watch porn. Again, the fantasy is that she’s having regular lovers behind my back, but I’m fairly confident that’s not the case — the reality is she is just focused on being a mom and a good wife and looks at sex as a side game, unlike me, where it’s an obsession.