Samanthasman wrote:rhinocat wrote:Yes S-man lies are never a good thing!! My wife left out conversations she had been having with her boss to me...I come to find out that he was manipulating her mind in thinking I couldn't really love her if I am allowing her to have sex with him. She understands now that that was a bad decision on her part and with all that we have come out stronger. You both will too!
Yes, I wonder how common this is indeed. When my wife lied to me, I felt some shock and awe, and many others did as well. But it does make me wonder how common it is for HWs (especially those that play solo) to lie??
If a HW is going solo and the husband is a little jealous or controlling, how often might they just rationalize that it's easier to omit conversations or even potentially cheat on occasion? Obviously these are not acceptable behaviors, but I wonder if they are common?
I would think in that case it's better to deal with the real issue- why is the husband jealous or controlling? Is it something that should keep them out of the lifestyle altogether? Lying is never going to fix the problem and will only make it worse when it implodes.
Frankly, I am a very, very good liar. I am a damn good poker player. Have I lied to my husband? No, because there was no need to. We have gone through times where he tells me he doesn't want to know anything about what I'm doing or who I'm fucking, and I respect that. I will also answer questions if he does ask.
But generally, this is my life, and I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of myself or what I do, so I don't feel the need to hide anything from him. I'd rather keep up the awesome communication we started off with, and sort out problems when they arise rather than sticking my head in the sand.
Do I keep some things to myself? Absolutely. But I'm having real relationships on the side, and I believe there should be some expectation of privacy in my secondary relationships as well as in my primary. For example, I think most people here would agree that their intimate moments or conversations with their wives should be private. I feel the same way, and also keep those moments or personal discussions private between me and my partner. It's not something my husband needs to or in fact should know, because it would break trust with my other partner. But if he wants to know what we did in bed or whatever, no worries.