Samantha Getting Started

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Wed Jan 15, 2014 1:00 pm

RESPONSES:
- Choice 1 has a burn out phase in it too that is part of working itself out.. That's not good either. - What does that mean???

- If you could close pandoras box awould you? - I don't know yet. At this point I don't think so...

UPDATE:
- Today she met him for lunch (nothing more) and they planned their next rendezvous together. She's going to go to a bar this weekend dressed to kill and let guys hit on her until he shows up with some friends (that don't know her) and eventually she'll hit on him and pick him up and leave with him for another night of wild sex.

We're talking through this a lot. She admits she's wildly hot and bothered and thinking about him almost non-stop, but that the emotions have subsided slightly today compared to yesterday (when she was re-playing the recording of their sex romp over and over). At lunch he asked if she would go away for the weekend with him. That caught me off guard. I know I'm not ready for something like that. She also offered to have him come over and meet me for a beer. She said that I'm taller, just as good looking, and even have a bigger dick... and that basically I'm a pretty powerful guy that would probably not be intimidated by this other guy. In other words, meeting him and seeing that he's a nice guy that just has some good game and some things that really click with her, but that it's not Brad Pitt, would make me feel a little better.

I asked her if we are playing with fire, and she says "yes of course, but I think we'll be ok". I asked "what are the odds of this not ending badly?", and she said "I'd guess 95%". I asked "Can I really trust you to estimate this accurately given your heightened excitement over this guy??", and she said "I think so... I'm very excited.. I like this guy A LOT.. but I don't want to lose my family over this"...

She also told the new guy that I felt more comfortable with her seeing 2 guys than with her just seeing one, and new guy said "you'll have to do what you need and want to do. I don't control you". So I asked her if she planed to see anyone else, and she said "yes, I'll likely but not definitely see the 3rd guy I went on a date with again, and would probably sleep with him if I went out with him". She was very physically attracted to him (guy #3) and he came on strong, which she likes. Part of me wonders if she would just sleep with guy #3 to pacify me and make me feel better about her seeing guy #1, 2-3x/week. My theory was that if she's sleeping with 2 guys, she won't become as attached to either one as much, but I have no idea if that's a logical conclusion or not...

luvMyHotwife · Unread post by **luvMyHotwife** » Wed Jan 15, 2014 1:47 pm

Samanthasman wrote:We're talking through this a lot. She admits she's wildly hot and bothered and thinking about him almost non-stop, but that the emotions have subsided slightly today compared to yesterday (when she was re-playing the recording of their sex romp over and over).

If Samantha were my wife (you are so lucky), I would encourage her to go for it. She is just extremely sex starved, and these guys mean nothing more than that to her. My wife was also sex starved and it took a lot of action to cool her jets. Your wife has an above average sexual appetite! Nothing more than that. Let her feast on her new found bounty!!!

samps · Unread post by **samps** » Wed Jan 15, 2014 2:46 pm

Thank you for sharing all of this and your honest emotions. I think all of us learn from each other and it's places like this where we can connect and not feel alone in something that can be so scary. So strange to read your account because my gf is in the stage of finding her first guy to fuck. She's been on 9 first dates and only 2 or 3 of them so far are potential partners she says. She is like your wife and likes to actually date and get to know guys, almost build a relationship with them, before jumping in bed. I share some of your concern but I have to tell you that your wife's assurances are the key. She seems to be doing a great job of communicating with you and will also give you the indication for anything changes, that being if the communication with you changes. So, go for it, full steam ahead I say...coming from someone with the same knots in his stomach you have.

bubbajack · Unread post by **bubbajack** » Wed Jan 15, 2014 3:51 pm

Seems to me that the joker in the deck is what we refer to around here as NRE - "new relationship energy' - which is miraculous and powerful, but tends to be short-lived, thank goodness! Some of the experienced people have the "passing" character of NRE in mind when they advise you to go ahead. Others have the high intensity of the NRE feeling in mind when they advise caution, etc.

One point where these analyses converge is the high probability that your wife's current assessment of the situation is not balanced in the same way it would be ordinarily - and, unless somebody does something stupid, probably will be again in a few weeks' time.

If she were in her right mind - or rather, when she is once again in her right mind - then seriously weird undertakings

like offering to sign a document ceding custody of your children to you in the event of divorce (almost certainly not enforceable, but, I guess

, seemingly intended to "reassure" you) would probably be the last thing she would ever do.

I think the sheer weight of her general, mostly voluntarily chosen circumstances - good and nurturing relations with you, the children, her friends and family, etc., will soon resume their customary high importance to her. However, I think it is also very important that you continue to radiate confidence, with a bit of added vigilance for her well-being, in her love for you and in her good judgment, even in the face of her obvious and outsize excitement over fucking this guy.

There are stories here of wives who have indeed while the NRE fit was on them, kicked over the traces and gone off with the fuckbuddy.

But in my unsystematic estimation, except for those whose husbands pushed them excessively in some way - either by utterly freaking out or by pushing the lovers into ever more intimate relationships - I believe these bad outcomes to be the minority.

As Dr Ken said above, I think when there has been more experience of the fun and excitement of dating and fucking around, there will be more of her capacity for balanced intensity of feeling available to her and she will come to see hotwifing as another species of having fun. Really Fun fun, but only fun all the same.

Hope I'm right.

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Wed Jan 15, 2014 4:58 pm

I appreciate the feedback. Very very helpful when your all alone and really can't talk to friends and family about this.

Update: tonite I took my wife to dinner, and could her mind was somewhere else. I'm feeling a little loving and caring, and she's feeling a little hot and bothered for someone else... Lots of emotion...

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Thu Jan 16, 2014 5:05 am

Bubbyjack - are you email?

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Thu Jan 16, 2014 5:07 am

Bubbajack - are you female ??? (Doing this from phone and often words are changed in my posts due to auto-correct)

SmilingHusband · Unread post by **SmilingHusband** » Thu Jan 16, 2014 5:55 am

Samanthasman wrote:I appreciate the feedback. Very very helpful when your all alone and really can't talk to friends and family about this.

Update: tonite I took my wife to dinner, and could her mind was somewhere else. I'm feeling a little loving and caring, and she's feeling a little hot and bothered for someone else... Lots of emotion...

*totally* bad sign bro. totally. you better put the brakes on this STAT. the train's picking up speed, and the tracks are closed ahead.

watch out!!!!!!!

outlanderwench · Unread post by **outlanderwench** » Thu Jan 16, 2014 7:21 am

SmilingHusband wrote:
Samanthasman wrote: Update: tonite I took my wife to dinner, and could her mind was somewhere else. I'm feeling a little loving and caring, and she's feeling a little hot and bothered for someone else... Lots of emotion...
*totally* bad sign bro. totally. you better put the brakes on this STAT. the train's picking up speed, and the tracks are closed ahead.

watch out!!!!!!!

"Danger Will Robinson!"
emotion and connection are heady and dangerous this early add in your own qualms and the knowledge that your wife gets attached easily is dangerous stuff. be careful and good luck!

SmilingHusband · Unread post by **SmilingHusband** » Thu Jan 16, 2014 7:27 am

especially as described in that situation, which *should* have been a nice, healthy night out as husband and wife. 10x worse as described there, as opposed to another setting.

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Thu Jan 16, 2014 10:52 am

UPDATE: My wife and I had lunch today and chatted more. She's in a good mood. She reassured me that "look, I think this is all going to work out... We just need to all get into our stride... I don't want to, and will not do anything to harm our marriage.... Yes, I've been totally infatuated with this new guy, and I still am, but I do feel a little more level headed today..." She also told me that she talked on the phone with her FB and she told him that I was not comfortable with her going away on a business trip with him. They were both a bit disappointed, but in no way devastated. They came up with other ideas about how they could hook up and have fun. For example, the FB has a kitchen pass for guys night out this weekend, and my wife wants to get a hotel room so that her FB can stop by and see her before he goes out with the guys and then wake her up in the middle of the night for round 2 after he's done with guys and before he goes home. I asked if I could stay with her also, and she said at this early stage, before I've even met this guy (although he does know all about me), she would not feel comfortable saying "my husband will wait downstair while you...". She does want to be with me after the other guy is totally finished, but I think the idea of round 1 FB, round 2 hubby, round 3 FB, round 4 hubby is too much for her at this point. She basically concluded "let's just forget about this fantasy this time... there will be plenty of other opportunities..."

Other updates: When we went to the gym together last night, my wife decided to listen to the recording of her fucking her new FB while working out. She had the biggest grin on her face! After a while she handed me the headsets and said "yeah, you might want to listen starting at the 9minute mark...". Later when we went to bed, we talked more about her FB and plans to see him more going forward. Pillow talk, to talk me through an O. I saw that she sent an email to her FB at 3am saying "I can't stop thinking about you!!"... Since we both talked about her fantasy with him as we went to bed, she clearly kept the thoughts swirling in her head all night long.

AND - she's ALSO planning a late night date, tonite, with ANOTHER GUY she met early on, on AM. She already went on one date a while ago with the guy to test the chemistry, and this is her second date. She's not planning to sleep with him, but it seems she needs about 2 dates to determine if she's ready to take action by date 3. This is a guy that is super hot. Honestly, this situation confuses me a bit. I asked her "How can you be so infatuated with guy #1, and yet want to go on a date with guy #3??? Are you just going out with this guy #3 to make me feel better about your strong infatuation and connection is with guy #1??" to which she says "No, this guy is super hot, and there is some chemistry, and I have told guy #1 that I "may" not be exclusive with him (and my husband), and I'm just trying myself to figure all of this out, so I'm going to just see him and see what happens...". I still have this theory that if she's sleeping with 2 guys, she's less likely to become too involved with either one. Is that logical or crazy???

SmilingHusband · Unread post by **SmilingHusband** » Thu Jan 16, 2014 10:55 am

it's almost like you are not even listening. good luck, I'm out.

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Thu Jan 16, 2014 11:25 am

Believe me - I'm totally listening SmilingHusband, but all you keep saying is "Danger - Danger!!" and don't get more specific on how to handle it. Other people say "go ahead... it will be ok", and still others have sent me messages saying "don't over-react and play it cool or you will just push her away and make everything worse".

I could just tell her "I don't feel comfortable with this - stop immediately!" and she has told me "If you tell me to stop, I will, I don't want to hurt you or my family, however, if you tell me to stop I will also be pissed off that you basically handed me a piece of candy and then took it away, and I'll probably never want to explore any of this stuff ever again" ...then we can just go back to our slightly dull but happy lives we had before.

This is all new to me. I'm hoping for some varied perspective from people that have dealt with this. At this moment in time our communication is open and good and I feel mostly confident that we'll be OK, although I'm nervous and monitoring things...

BallSpanking · Unread post by **BallSpanking** » Thu Jan 16, 2014 11:37 am

If you think anout it, guys can find two different women to be hot, and fuvk them without any problem.
What makes you think it's different for your wife?

Unread post by **MrsTruckstar** » Thu Jan 16, 2014 11:43 am

I think from nothing at all to this in less than two weeks, it is the biggest red flag of all. I think more than just her in your family is getting fucked over.

Problem 1 - She is not happy to see you between trysts but his happy to fuck guy number whatever (please give them names make them up if you will), because at this rate she will be fucking so many numbers, we won't know if she is getting a good fucking or ordering a chinese takeaway.

Problem 2 - Out on a date with you and her mind is one of her numbers somewhere else. Red Flag fella.

Problem 3. - She calls one of her numbers who she has been with for a number of days and says that you are not happy. He gets huffy and so does she. If it was me, I would have told that number that Hubby is my number one and you my friend are just a number to us.

If you are a real newbie, something you must do, is make a fecking plan, discuss the boundaries and the limitations and both you and her MUST stick to them - No matter what. Or you will fuck this totally up. If she is picking up three numbers out of four without an ugly, fat or flake. She is brilliant at this. She can drop these numbers and pull some more.

She should fuck as many men as she wants, fuck the NRE issue, that is sometimes there and blown out of proportion by those without a plan. But at the end of the day, you and her are in this together or not at all. Good luck.

SmilingHusband, keeps saying is "Danger - Danger!!" and doesn't get more specific on how to handle it. I think I have been.

STOP. Check what you and her want from this. What is your end game. What are your boundaries and limitations, because there seems to be none in sight. Make some deals and stick to them.

If she is feeling blown away by a number. Pause him, if he fucks off, there will be others.

Ask her to join here. I am sure I am not the only one that would value and learn from her thoughts.

Arizona has a list somewhere, I think you might be on it Samanthasman. My list is potential crash and burn list.

luvMyHotwife · Unread post by **luvMyHotwife** » Thu Jan 16, 2014 12:28 pm

Samanthasman wrote:Believe me - I'm totally listening SmilingHusband, but all you keep saying is "Danger - Danger!!" and don't get more specific on how to handle it. Other people say "go ahead... it will be ok", and still others have sent me messages saying "don't over-react and play it cool or you will just push her away and make everything worse".

I think it is good that posters get a variety of viewpoints when they pose a question on this board. The best responses are not necessarily those with the most similar viewpoints, but those that best explain their advice.

I don't think that Samantha's behavior indicates that she will fall in love with her FBs or leave her family, but rather that she has an enormous sexual appetite that needs to be fulfilled. My only concern about her behavior is that she is acting like a glutton, which is panicking her husband. If she is reading this board, I would advise her to slow down and not to spoil a wonderful opportunity. Savor the moment and celebrate every conquest with your husband before moving on to the next. My advise to Samantha's man is not to panic. A robust sexual appetite in a wife can be a very positive attribute.

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Thu Jan 16, 2014 1:14 pm

Thank you all for the perspective!!! VERY VERY Helpful...

OK... to put this into perspective:

1) My wife has had 5 dates with 3 men in 2 weeks and slept with one man one time. I don't think that's a glutton.
I certainly hope she has an "enormous unfulfilled sexual appetite", but I think the jury is still out

2) On the one night she had sex, she ran home and slept with me. I suspect she will always do this. She did ask if she could do an overnight business trip with the one guy she slept with, and seeing how uncomfortable that made me, she backed down immediately.

3) It may well be that she is a genius at this. Not to brag, but she really is an amazing hot blond. 36D-26-36, 5'8", 130lb. Hot. When she put her picture and profile on AM, you could almost feel the earth move. Men want her and she loves the attention. She screened very extensively - asking men to send pictures and emails before she even emailed back. She them naroed the search from 1000 to 100 to 10 to 3 that she agreed to go on a date with. All 3 were hot and all 3 want her bad. She slept with 1 and had an awesome time. She's really infatuated with that guy perhaps having spent so much effort finding him and clicking with him over all the others. However, she's still considering seeing the other 2 and is going on date #2 with one tonite.

We'll call them going forward: Guy #1: "B", Guy #2: "P", and Guy #3: "S" - if that helps...

I will ask her if she wants to get on this forum. I've told her much of what has been posted about us. I do feel a little like she does not mind talking about all of this for lengthily periods of time, but she probably does not want to spend additional time talking about this...

luvMyHotwife · Unread post by **luvMyHotwife** » Thu Jan 16, 2014 1:18 pm

Samanthasman wrote:OK... to put this into perspective:

1) My wife has had 5 dates with 3 men in 2 weeks and slept with one man one time. I don't think that's a glutton.

Ok then. You two are good to go!

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Thu Jan 16, 2014 7:53 pm

Tonite she's on a date with Sid (guy #3)... She's not planing for sex, but she did buy and wear the sexiest dress I've ever seen her in. Super short and backless with extra high heels. She said she needed gas but could not stop to pump it for fear of too many guys seeing her pussy when she leaned over to pump... Wowser...

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Fri Jan 17, 2014 4:42 am

She came back from the date very hot and bothered (she does not like to have sex on first or second date). She basically announced "I need to get fucked... Bad!!"... And I took care of her

I asked her if she's going to see this guy again and sleep with him, and she said "oh yeah!!"... But he's gonna be traveling for the next week so not right away...

casualfun850 · Unread post by **casualfun850** » Fri Jan 17, 2014 5:13 am

Do you have pictures of your wife you can post?

I personally think you are moving way too fast. This is a long term process. Her initial dates should only be 2 or 3 hours. Weekend trips so quick is not part of the process. It also should not consume you and her, which it is. 2 guys are better than 1. Maybe do one date every two weeks to start. Limit the texting and emails. She should make the guys really work to get her. Slow it down and enjoy. This is not a race.

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Fri Jan 17, 2014 6:17 am

How do you post a picture?

Unread post by **allengt** » Fri Jan 17, 2014 6:21 am

Samanthasman wrote:How do you post a picture?

http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=11623 Only in the hotties and personals.

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Fri Jan 17, 2014 6:21 pm

I'm using a cell phone. I see 'enter full editor' but I don't see any option for "upload attachment"

Unread post by **allengt** » Fri Jan 17, 2014 7:12 pm

I'm not sure it can be done on a cell but have you started a thread in the hotties and looked for the attachment tab there?

Our Hotwives

Samantha Getting Started

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