Samantha Getting Started

sharemine2 · Unread post by **sharemine2** » Wed Jan 22, 2014 7:21 pm

It is now tomorrow , Bill should have come over. I hope that zorro convinced you to be cool with Bill and that you two got on well. If all went well then either you are watching him fuck Samantha or are giving her a threesome! Either way let us hear an update soon.

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Wed Jan 22, 2014 9:01 pm

Samatha is very busy this week with work and travel and so more HW adventures will have to wait until next week... She's still totally infatuated with Bill... Texting back and forth on and off all day. As far as I can tell, he is in a loveless marriage and it's only a matter of time, in my opinion, before he's in love with my wife. Every man that's ever spent time with her falls in love with her. She's level headed enough to know all men do indeed fall for her, this guy is really awesome, but was not hard to find, and if and when the relationship comes to a boil, we'll all have to deal with that. I think she's going to go out of her way to keep me happy, keep emotions in check, etc. So as to keep the relationship going indefinitely...

What's interesting is that she's also told me she plans to eventually sleep with Sid (another prospect from AM). And I sort of suspect that she's going to do that, at least in part, because I've told her that I felt more comfortable with her seeing two guys than just focusing on one. I even think she's told bill that I feel this way. Which could mean she'll sleep with Sid just so I won't worry about bill... Which could ether result in her getting closer to bill, or, if she hits it off with Sid, could dilute her feelings for bill... And the saga continues...

Unread post by **MrsTruckstar** » Wed Jan 22, 2014 10:34 pm

If you need a line drawn in the sand, Samantha can do it. When she introduces you. "This is my husband, the man I love and without whom I would not have this freedom." or something like that. Then you can thank her and move on with the Zorro based small talk.

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Fri Jan 24, 2014 3:56 am

Update: My wife tells me she has been fantasizing a lot and plans to sleep with bill at least twice next week and sleep with Sid at least once. I asked her "what if Sid is awesome in bed?", and she responded "then it's game on! He's already told me he wants to see me often, and he's available often, even though we have yet to sleep together"... Sounds like an exciting week ahead.

Makes me wonder: what is the typical sexual appetite or frequency of extra-marital sex for a hotwife???

zorro · Unread post by **zorro** » Sat Jan 25, 2014 8:19 pm

MrsTruckstar wrote:If you need a line drawn in the sand, Samantha can do it. When she introduces you. "This is my husband, the man I love and without whom I would not have this freedom." or something like that. Then you can thank her and move on with the Zorro based small talk.

Nice suggestion!

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Mon Jan 27, 2014 4:09 pm

After a week of travel my wife is back and on a date tonite. She basically told me... Don't wait up, I'll be needing multiple rounds... Maybe tomorrow and the next day as well...

I did push her a bit today asking things like "do you love me" and "where is this all going"... It's a constant struggle inside me between jealousy and thrill for her excitement... I wish I could turn off the jealousy... Is that ever really possible??

Oh, I also posted a very smoking hot new pic of Samantha in the hotties area under "also newbie - picture"

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Mon Jan 27, 2014 8:32 pm

WOW - I just read all of this... sobering.. as a relative newbie, this is just simply sobering...

I'm sitting at home as I type waiting for her to get back from a date. She's totally infatuated with this guy. Wants to see him all the time. But, totally open about it. Our relationship is great... great communication... I honestly think all is well... then you read something like this.

I would REALLY appreciate if ohello would offer more advice to the rest of us. Was HWing the cause of all this?? My wife and I have had a "perfect" marriage... if something were to go wrong with us, there is nothing other than HWing to blame. Obviously, I'm hoping that it's possible to have you cake and eat it too

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Mon Jan 27, 2014 8:38 pm

Thank you dsmcouple22... I just read the entire "thru the rabbit hole" thread. Very sobering.

My wife and I are in some ways moving fast, but at the same time are talking continuously.. Looking at everything from many angles.. Thinking about talking to a therapist, not because of any problems but instead to just to be pro-active about doing this "the right way".. checking-in regularly... believe me I'm tuned into this.

Unread post by **MrsTruckstar** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 6:02 am

Samanthasman wrote:WOW - I just read all of this... sobering.. as a relative newbie, this is just simply sobering...

I'm sitting at home as I type waiting for her to get back from a date. She's totally infatuated with this guy. Wants to see him all the time. But, totally open about it. Our relationship is great... great communication... I honestly think all is well... then you read something like this.

I would REALLY appreciate if ohello would offer more advice to the rest of us. Was HWing the cause of all this??

2 peas in a pod - You and Othello, you have said you read all of his stuff, I suggest you read it again. Do you know the Othello tragedy? Not this one, the real one....

Samanthasman wrote:My wife and I have had a "perfect" marriage... if something were to go wrong with us, there is nothing other than HWing to blame. Obviously, I'm hoping that it's possible to have your cake and eat it too

A couple of mistakes here, HWing is an action you have taken so not to blame, you chose it and you act on it, you make the mistakes not the lifestyle - HWing may be a causation factor but those who make the choices are to blame.

You don't seem to have a cohesive plan, little limitations and no boundaries. Sometimes you can hit a bump and stay on course, like skiing a mogul field, but when the momentum is too quick to handle, then a crash will stop you, that may be a crash you survive or one that kills your love.

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 6:32 am

Mrstruckstar - than you for your advice! I am listening.

What is the "real" tragedy ? What do you think the real problem was??

My wife just found a BF and is infatuated with him. It's been going on 3-4 weeks. It's intense, and she wants to see him all the time. At the same time there are differences between us and othello. We are older, I'm an alpha male and a formatable one. We have a family, business, and many other things tying us together. Wife is a very level headed woman - thinks like a man in many ways. She freely admits she's infatuated and says she believes it will subside but that if it does not she's prepared to cut it off.

Is the rule that if a wife ever is infatuated, she should cut it off? I know that some people believe that, but my wife likes the whole experience - dating, banter, hot sex...

I'm open to the possibility that I am rationalizing, which is why I share openly on here. I value the advice greatly.

SmilingHusband · Unread post by **SmilingHusband** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 7:43 am

Samanthasman wrote:WOW - I just read all of this... sobering.. as a relative newbie, this is just simply sobering...
I'm sitting at home as I type waiting for her to get back from a date. She's totally infatuated with this guy. Wants to see him all the time. But, totally open about it. Our relationship is great... great communication... I honestly think all is well... then you read something like this.
I would REALLY appreciate if ohello would offer more advice to the rest of us. Was HWing the cause of all this?? My wife and I have had a "perfect" marriage... if something were to go wrong with us, there is nothing other than HWing to blame. Obviously, I'm hoping that it's possible to have you cake and eat it too

all the more reason to listen a bit more intently to the few voices of caution around here.

Mrs. T said it perfectly. you're flying by the seat of your ass here. no plan , no rules, no boundaries , no guidelines. you proceed at your own risk.

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 8:18 am

Smiling - I appreciate your input as well. Here is what we have done:

- we have documented and signed a set of "rules" that dictate transparency, communication, termination clauses, etc. It's modeled after other rules we've read online. We're on the same page (although I recognize that othello had rules as well)

- I've told her "it's just a matter of time before your BF falls in live with you", and she says that she's monitoring that closely. She says "I get that... And I admit my feelings are strong, but I love you and my life and my family and at the end of the day I'm not going to be so infatuated as to not know what's important to me. We are all having a great time with this - let's keep watching it day by day... If you want me to stop at any time including rights now - just give the word"

- she has agreed to see other people as well, and is making some plans to do so

- she has even agreed to give up custody of the children if she ever leaves. Obviously something she would never really do, however she says "obviously I would never agree to something like that if I weren't 100% sure I could keep a level head about all of this, and that's why I'm willing to agree to that"

- we are exploring talking to a therapist about this - for no other reason than to make sure we stay on the same page, continue to communicate, and do this in a way that does not jeopardize our family.

So...I'm not sure I agree that we are running wild and without a plan here, but I do value the experience and advice from those that have experienced what I have not.

My question is - given what you now know, what else would you suggest we/I do?

SmilingHusband · Unread post by **SmilingHusband** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 8:31 am

I'd stop her seeing the dude she is "infatuated" with ASAP. IMO, the word "infatuation" as applied to a 3rd party the wife is having sex with, has no place in a solid marriage (or one with a future that is). Many will disagree with me, of course. But that's OK. We all have our roles here.

IIRC, she going solo too right? (shakes head). you're already far afield of where I'd ever go. Maybe you should take advice from the "let her run free, it's all about her pleasure" crowd.

As for the "custody" clause, it's a waste of time. Completely un-enforceable and irrelevant. it might as well say she will have her right arm cut off (it's just as fanciful). the only meaning it has to me is, she's so desperate to keep this going, she's willing to agree to anything, no matter how absurd. That's not a good sign to me at all.

good luck (I say that in all earnestness. I do wish you well.)

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 8:36 am

Steve - please share your predictions. Seriously opinions cannot be wrong and we are all here to learn and share. I'm seeking opinions.

We have both been reading a ton of blogs, etc. About HWing. The rules came from rules others have written before. Many looked like the rules othello developed, although I can't tell if he had rules from the beginning.

The custody thing was something that was added as a crazy penalty clause. In other words "are you so positively sure that you can handle this and that it won't harm the family that you would give up custody if things went wrong?"... Sort of alike "would you bet your life on this?"... You gotta be pretty sure and pretty committed to go along with that. At least that is the theory.

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 8:47 am

Smiling - The "custody clause" and the rules were written before even the first date. So, it was not agreed to out of desperation to go forward with anyone.

Such a clause carries more weight than you might think, but the point is more about documenting your level of commitment.

Steve - the clause says "if either party leaves or asks for a divorce, the other gets custody". It does go both ways.

The wife did not beg me to pursue this HW idea.

I think the bigger question here is: is it ok for a HW to be infatuated with a BF?? Clearly you believe not, and perhaps you are right. Still some people take it as far as going full poly, in which case the woman loves more than one man... Not that I want that.

Have others on here been successful allowing wives to play alone and date and feel all of the excitement and infatuation that can go along with that?? Or, is that always a disaster??

Out4fungirl · Unread post by **Out4fungirl** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 8:58 am

Samanthasman wrote: - I've told her "it's just a matter of time before your BF falls in live with you", and she says that she's monitoring that closely. She says "I get that... And I admit my feelings are strong, but I love you and my life and my family and at the end of the day I'm not going to be so infatuated as to not know what's important to me. We are all having a great time with this - let's keep watching it day by day... If you want me to stop at any time including rights now - just give the word"

From personal experience, I can tell you this is NOT a good thing. I had what I thought was a purely "fun" relationship with someone who fell in love with me, and it didn't turn out pretty. Once I realized, I tried to break it off but it was too little, too late on my part. He started stalking me, threatened to tell people that I work with about our relationship, threatened my spouse, and did a whole bunch of nasty things before finally moving on. I occasionally see him in public, and I have to admit I'm a bit scared when I do.

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 9:33 am

Out4fun - the reason I made the statement is because every man that has ever dated Samantha... Ever... Has fallen in love with her. I don't believe it's possible for a man not to fall in love with her once he's let inside the tent. She understands this and has dealt with it all her life (mostly before I came along, obviously)...

I'm only exaggerating a very tiny amount when I say she's a swimsuit model with a PhD that drives a Bentley, lives in a mansion, loves sex, and great sense of humor when she's not busy helping her church feed the hungry. There's a lot to be attracted to...

Out4fungirl · Unread post by **Out4fungirl** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 9:52 am

Samanthasman wrote:Out4fun - the reason I made the statement is because every man that has ever dated Samantha... Ever... Has fallen in love with her. I don't believe it's possible for a man not to fall in love with her once he's let inside the tent. She understands this and has dealt with it all her life (mostly before I came along, obviously)...

I'm only exaggerating a very tiny amount when I say she's a swimsuit model with a PhD that drives a Bentley, lives in a mansion, loves sex, and great sense of humor when she's not busy helping her church feed the hungry. There's a lot to be attracted to...

All the more reason to heed my warning- coming from an MD that drives a Porsche, rotates between summer and winter houses, loves sex, has a great sense of humor and is an atheist.

I'm assuming that in her past dealings with men, you weren't involved and she was able to let nature run it's course to see whether or not a lasting relationship was formed? That doesn't really exist anymore, unless you are wiling to give up your wife entirely. Per your rules, she is supposed to stop a relationship before she falls in love, but what happens if the other guy does first? It won't work out well is all that I'm saying, and I really think the two of you should discuss the potential pitfalls, especially if you think it's a done deal that anyone who dates her is going to fall in love. As they say, fore warned is fore armed.

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 10:16 am

We have a thread called "Also Newbie"... And some of that spilled over onto this thread... Several of the same people are following both treads and discussing possible parallels, or not.

Smiling - thank you again. My point, not well made, was that if she were to never explore a relationship with anyone that could not fall in love with her, she'd basically be limiting herself to men in coma's, and I don't believe she's into that.

I'd really like to pose the question again: have others on here been successful allowing wives to play alone and date and feel all of the excitement and infatuation that can go along with that?? Or, is that always a disaster?

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 12:04 pm

Pinhead - that is an excellent perspective. If everyone agrees, than I guess that is the answer.

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 12:27 pm

Update: Sam is back and has been very busy on her back. She basically met bill at a hotel last night and he fucked her 4 times in a row all evening! She came home at midnight. In the morning she went back for yet another hour on her back! Wow... She's in a really really good mood today

She said "tonite is all about you and I... I know I've been neglecting my duties at home and I'm prepared to make it up to you"... Golly.

I asked her how the infatuation is going after all that intense sex, and she says it's down to about a "6" (peaked at around 9). I asks why it's down a tad and she says "I'm just getting more comfortable with everything. I like this guy a lot, but I also know it is what it is and he's not perfect for the long term. But, I do totally like him a lot". Honestly, I appreciate the honesty.

I told her about the thread from Othello ("down the rabbit hole" thread) and how that HW story ended in divorce. Sam said she felt bad for them but that she's feeling pretty good about everything we're doing, and is not worried, but said that if I wanted she would get an account on here and post her whole side of the story. I asked "would you like that" and she said "honestly, I don't want to, but it sounds like something that might make you feel more comfortable and anything that makes you happy and comfortable is good for everyone."

We'll see if we can get her on here.

mrfunone · Unread post by **mrfunone** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 1:03 pm

I would love to hear her side of the story.

Unread post by **MrsTruckstar** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 2:33 pm

Samanthasman wrote:
What is the "real" tragedy ? What do you think the real problem was??

You made my day with this question. Sorry Othello is the name of a play - "The Tragedy of Othello, the Moor of Venice is a tragedy by William Shakespeare." Othello becomes jealous and suspicious of Desdemona. He confides in Iago that he plans to poison Desdemona. Plots and murders ensue and Othello returns to the castle to kill his innocent wife. He eventually smothers her to death.
Emilia tells Othello the truth about the scheming Iago. Othello wounds Iago, then kills himself. Iago kills Emilia. So very sad.

Unread post by **MrsTruckstar** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 2:41 pm

Separate to all that. You "Samanthasma" have entered this without and end game. You shouldn't enter into casual sex without stating what is your end state. How far you wish to go. What are the control measures that prevent this going beyond a satisfactory end game. Not she is seeing him too much cut it of. Better to be setting a limitation. Your custody blah, is a penalty. Penalties are paid when boundaries have been exceeded, then it is too late.

Communication isn't talking. Communicating, is discussion, pros, con and compromise, then boundary setting and limitations. A discussion that includes if i leave is fraught with danger, it should be I won't leave. She should be able to recognise when things are going to far.

Please don't put things in text in the hotwife forum that say 'I might be exaggerating a tiny bit when I say something', your tiny is bound to be different than mine. This is either a true story with names and places changed to protect the innocent, then tell it as so - or if it is fiction based on some fact, put your hand up admit it and then ask for it to be moved to the library. Please don't confuse us with these things all mixed up, we are simple people - paint it one way or the other.

Samanthasman · Unread post by **Samanthasman** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:04 pm

Please move any comments to me to the thread "Also Newbie!!!" to be considerate to Othello. And, no, I'm not Othello.

MrsTruckStar - thank you for responses. I've never read Othello, but have always wanted to.

Much of the rest of your comments confuse me. There is no fiction in anything I have written. I sincerely want useful feedback on my specific situation and feedback on fiction would be useless.

You and some others have said "you have no plan... End game... Communication... Etc" and I guess I don't understand. I've documented, in these forums, rules, agreements, and endless hours of what I believe is truely open and honest communication with my wife. I'm confused.

Is not the end game to explore relationships and sexual adventures that spice up the marriage? When one is done to move on to the next? In some cases explore multiple at the same time? Is not the end game to grow old together, but with a little smirk our our faces?

Our Hotwives

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