Sleep Overs??

[funfortwo]

I am asking other, more experienced persons, if they have sleep overs with their BF/Lover?

We've been at this dynamic for about a year, and it's been filled with ups and downs, albeit recently, a lot more up moments. When we first began, my wife was excited, and I was too. But in a short amount of time, things became complicated and confusing. Feelings of insecurity and jealousy entered my mind, and it took me a few months to process everything, and this generated numerous discussions. Over time, she had professed that she likes the lifestyle, enjoys her BF's company and considers him a good friend. She doesn't love him and would never trade her life for a life with him. That said, she is extremely attracted to him, admits he is an amazing lover and enjoys how this experience excites me. From the onset, we had a rule of "no sleepovers" to avoid any potential for catching feelings.

Over the past few months, my wife and I discussed that being a possibility. This summer, we will be leaving on an extended holiday for 3 months. She is worried that he will find someone else to spend time with and she doesn't want that to happen. She also mentioned that 3 months IS a long time without a sexual meeting. Well, the other day she mentioned that he may be in near us for work while we are there and within close proximity. At first, she inquired if she could fly to his location (about an hour flight) or if he could fly to meet her in our location. Over the past few months I have processed my feelings to see if I could handle it and think we are in a place of trust with our relationship. I told her that I think I could handle it and she admitted that it might be fun, but a bit different (i.e. waking in the morning, using the bathroom etc). I told her it's no different with anyone else (friends) and that she has known him for almost 1 year. She thought about and excuse for friends/family and would tell them that she is visiting a girlfriend that is staying at a hotel near the airport and will be spending the night with her. Totally believable and well thought out...A smile came across her face and she said, "J will obviously want to fuck a few times on the first day and will definitely want to fuck in the AM....oh boy!!" In the past, this would probably cause me to become insecure but now it seems to excite me. I told her that her J can relax, and not worry about having to leave, and she could relax and just enjoy the experience without worrying about having to please me upon his departure. It seems like she is testing the waters to make sure I'm really okay with this...

My question is: I know a lot of couples on this site have had sleepovers in their experiences. For the first time, how did you manage? Hopefully I have some answers to help me/us on our journey. It would be nice to hear a woman's perspective so I can pass it along in our discussions (she doesn't check this site regularly).

Thanks in advance....

[ucaneffher]

My ex and I were together for a long time and spent 7 years in the lifestyle. First as stag/hot GF couple and soon after our relationship transitioned to a cuckold arrangement without any type of disrespect, sissification, or any type of direct humiliation.

If I had to give a guestimate of how much percentage of what our relationship involved her sleeping over at other mens homes, I would say roughly 75% of her hot-gf play involved spending the night. This is including the 18 months of her moving out with another man which I count as a one year and a half long sleepover.

Personally it worked extremely well for us. She loved the privacy and the ability to wake up in the middle of the night to play with their penis and fuck them like she often described. She loved taking sexy lingerie pajamas and sexy underwear to lounge around their home. Another perk that she talked about a lot was letting her men cum inside and going to bed with their semen in her, she liked feeling like she was theirs and while she was sleeping over going to bed filled by them made her feel like she belonged to them.

Sadly this caused a few UTIs and she had to stop. We were both young (under legal drinking age) and didn't know until her gyno asked if she was using the bathroom after sex which she wasn't.

In short. She preferred sleepovers because
1. She had greater intimacy which wasn't only about sex but other fun activities, bonding through conversations in bed/couch in underwear

2. She could keep going back for repeats without worrying of having to go home.
3. Morning sex was her favorite
4. Shower sex with her lover was hot for her

5.overall brought her closer to all of her lovers and strengthened their bond by 1000% and I'm talking about it in a true friendship type of way where their connection wasn't only about sex but her and her lovers all had regular outings and activities that didn't always result in sex. It also developed into normal text and daily phone calls not related to the lifestyle.

I have no regrets of having spent the greater part of our 7 years in the lifestyle with her sleeping with other men at their homes overnight and oftentimes spending entire weekends away, typically the long holiday weekends where Mondays were national holidays. I wouldn't hesitate to encourage my current girlfriend to also follow that method if she ever officially took the plunge and asked if she could sleep over. I encourage every couple with a solid relationship to give it a try at least once or twice before ruling it out.

[NikkiMySunshine]

Hello! Just wanted to add my 2 cents.

We play and don't have many rules. But, we do have one. Even 20+ years into playing, we still have one hard rule that we have never waived from. NO OVERNIGHTS. NikkiHisSunshine will of the time end up in our bed to end the night.

Now, we have had sleepovers in hotel rooms with her friend. But I am there. We do it together. No sleepovers is our rule. I always want to be the one who holds her tight. The one who rubs her hip. The one who kisses her softly to tell her how in love I am with her.

That's just how WE choose to do it. No issues with how YOU both do it. There is no right or wrong way, as long as it isnt hurting either if you. I would recommend to Just communicate. Communicate. COMMUNICATE.

PEACE!
NikkiMySunshine

[Thebestdays1]

Most of my ex wife's lovers were married so, apart from one night in a hotel with one of them, when he was supposed to be working nights, they'd only be able to get together briefly.
One lover though was single and had recently moved back to live with his mum.
His sister had a house nearby and she would often go away to stay with her boyfriend on weekends. He and my wife would then spend the weekend together and as I would normally be working those weekends, my MIL would look after our kids.
There were also a couple of times when she stayed at his house, once she'd passed her driving test and she'd have to make sure she was home before our kids woke up; but as they rarely got up before 0800 , that wasn't a problem. His mum would even make a cooked breakfast for them before she left.
I loved it when she went away with him.

[onceacuck]

This is really a matter of your personality, and hers. I never had any qualms about my wife sleeping over, but then I never had any qualms about her saying she loved him. What caused me distress was when it seemed as though she didn't love me.

[PANTIES]

My mine stays for numerous nights with her lover. The relationship has developed to this extent for them. It’s no big deal for us. She comes home with a different look of joy. One year she moved in with him for 30 days and came back completely different from when she left.

Pauline

[iloanmywife]

I am asking other, more experienced persons, if they have sleep overs with their BF/Lover?

We've been at this dynamic for about a year, and it's been filled with ups and downs, albeit recently, a lot more up moments. When we first began, my wife was excited, and I was too. But in a short amount of time, things became complicated and confusing. Feelings of insecurity and jealousy entered my mind, and it took me a few months to process everything, and this generated numerous discussions. Over time, she had professed that she likes the lifestyle, enjoys her BF's company and considers him a good friend. She doesn't love him and would never trade her life for a life with him. That said, she is extremely attracted to him, admits he is an amazing lover and enjoys how this experience excites me. From the onset, we had a rule of "no sleepovers" to avoid any potential for catching feelings.

Over the past few months, my wife and I discussed that being a possibility. This summer, we will be leaving on an extended holiday for 3 months. She is worried that he will find someone else to spend time with and she doesn't want that to happen. She also mentioned that 3 months IS a long time without a sexual meeting. Well, the other day she mentioned that he may be in near us for work while we are there and within close proximity. At first, she inquired if she could fly to his location (about an hour flight) or if he could fly to meet her in our location. Over the past few months I have processed my feelings to see if I could handle it and think we are in a place of trust with our relationship. I told her that I think I could handle it and she admitted that it might be fun, but a bit different (i.e. waking in the morning, using the bathroom etc). I told her it's no different with anyone else (friends) and that she has known him for almost 1 year. She thought about and excuse for friends/family and would tell them that she is visiting a girlfriend that is staying at a hotel near the airport and will be spending the night with her. Totally believable and well thought out...A smile came across her face and she said, "J will obviously want to fuck a few times on the first day and will definitely want to fuck in the AM....oh boy!!" In the past, this would probably cause me to become insecure but now it seems to excite me. I told her that her J can relax, and not worry about having to leave, and she could relax and just enjoy the experience without worrying about having to please me upon his departure. It seems like she is testing the waters to make sure I'm really okay with this...

My question is: I know a lot of couples on this site have had sleepovers in their experiences. For the first time, how did you manage? Hopefully I have some answers to help me/us on our journey. It would be nice to hear a woman's perspective so I can pass it along in our discussions (she doesn't check this site regularly).

Thanks in advance....

At this very moment, hanging on the wall of another man's bathroom, there's a toothbrush that belongs to my wife. She doesn't sleep there often, but she's stayed over enough that it made sense for her to keep a few things at his place. It sounds mundane compared to the kink on this forum, but whenever I remember that toothbrush it always gives me a thrill.

I understand your wife's point that three months is a long time to go without meeting. Maybe she's worried that he'll look around while she's gone, or maybe she doesn't want to go that long without seeing him. So if she wants to maintain the relationship, a midpoint date or two isn't a bad idea. Whatever you both decide, I recommend that she arrange for her own hotel room. That way she'll have the option of staying overnight with him without being dependent on him for a place to stay.

I'm not sure how you and your wife typically play, but it sounds like she normally plays alone. I think some people on this forum assume that hotwives always or typically play alone, or that playing alone is the "default" arrangement for hotwives. That works well for some couples, but for us, her playing alone was a giant trust-leap from us playing together. We never would have started with her playing alone, which would have caused us the same degree of anxiety and jealousy that you're experiencing with your wife potentially staying overnight.

My wife's first overnight experiences were unplanned. After dinner and a few glasses of wine and then several rounds of sex in a hotel room, she'd end up too tired to drive home safely. She'd fall asleep for a few hours, which typically recharged them for one more round, which might lead to falling back asleep. It never felt like "sleeping over" since she was basically taking naps in between fucking and she always arrived home by dawn. It wasn't restful sleep for her, and certainly wasn't restful for me. Those protracted dates caused heartburn for me because I'd have my hopes up for some reconnection sex, which isn't going to happen if she's sneaking in at 6AM to find me passed out on a couch.

Those dates weren't exactly sleepovers, but she technically slept with another man in another bed. That made it easier to explore more deliberate overnight dates and everything that comes with them: sleeping nude or partially clothed, groggy middle-of-the-night wake-me-up-by-sliding-in sex, morning sex, showering together, after breakfast sex, and otherwise being totally unconstrained by time. My wife still isn't completely comfortable with overnight dates, but she admits that the uninhibited freedom makes the sex amazing. It doesn't feel like fucking; it feels like dating.

It was actually easier for me to deal with planned overnight dates than it was to wait up for her while watching the clock. Her first true overnight date was actually my idea, more out of practical concerns for her safety than anything else. A former boyfriend was almost an hour away, so we decided she should pack a bag when visiting him. It was lonely while she was gone, but better than being disappointed when she doesn't come home before I fell asleep.

The loneliness hasn't changed. My wife and I really enjoy each other's company, so when we sleep apart for any reason we both miss each other. That's why we try to arrange her overnight stays for when we'll be apart anyway, such as when I take a golf trip or am out of town on business. For me, the torment is less less about her being with another man and more about not being with her myself. But as the adage goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Reconnection sex after an overnight date can be electric, and I love coming home from a work trip knowing that my wife spent the previous night with another man. Just make sure to check your expectations and jealousy if you decide to try it.

[funfortwo]

I am asking other, more experienced persons, if they have sleep overs with their BF/Lover?

We've been at this dynamic for about a year, and it's been filled with ups and downs, albeit recently, a lot more up moments. When we first began, my wife was excited, and I was too. But in a short amount of time, things became complicated and confusing. Feelings of insecurity and jealousy entered my mind, and it took me a few months to process everything, and this generated numerous discussions. Over time, she had professed that she likes the lifestyle, enjoys her BF's company and considers him a good friend. She doesn't love him and would never trade her life for a life with him. That said, she is extremely attracted to him, admits he is an amazing lover and enjoys how this experience excites me. From the onset, we had a rule of "no sleepovers" to avoid any potential for catching feelings.

Over the past few months, my wife and I discussed that being a possibility. This summer, we will be leaving on an extended holiday for 3 months. She is worried that he will find someone else to spend time with and she doesn't want that to happen. She also mentioned that 3 months IS a long time without a sexual meeting. Well, the other day she mentioned that he may be in near us for work while we are there and within close proximity. At first, she inquired if she could fly to his location (about an hour flight) or if he could fly to meet her in our location. Over the past few months I have processed my feelings to see if I could handle it and think we are in a place of trust with our relationship. I told her that I think I could handle it and she admitted that it might be fun, but a bit different (i.e. waking in the morning, using the bathroom etc). I told her it's no different with anyone else (friends) and that she has known him for almost 1 year. She thought about and excuse for friends/family and would tell them that she is visiting a girlfriend that is staying at a hotel near the airport and will be spending the night with her. Totally believable and well thought out...A smile came across her face and she said, "J will obviously want to fuck a few times on the first day and will definitely want to fuck in the AM....oh boy!!" In the past, this would probably cause me to become insecure but now it seems to excite me. I told her that her J can relax, and not worry about having to leave, and she could relax and just enjoy the experience without worrying about having to please me upon his departure. It seems like she is testing the waters to make sure I'm really okay with this...

My question is: I know a lot of couples on this site have had sleepovers in their experiences. For the first time, how did you manage? Hopefully I have some answers to help me/us on our journey. It would be nice to hear a woman's perspective so I can pass it along in our discussions (she doesn't check this site regularly).

Thanks in advance....

At this very moment, hanging on the wall of another man's bathroom, there's a toothbrush that belongs to my wife. She doesn't sleep there often, but she's stayed over enough that it made sense for her to keep a few things at his place. It sounds mundane compared to the kink on this forum, but whenever I remember that toothbrush it always gives me a thrill.

I understand your wife's point that three months is a long time to go without meeting. Maybe she's worried that he'll look around while she's gone, or maybe she doesn't want to go that long without seeing him. So if she wants to maintain the relationship, a midpoint date or two isn't a bad idea. Whatever you both decide, I recommend that she arrange for her own hotel room. That way she'll have the option of staying overnight with him without being dependent on him for a place to stay.

I'm not sure how you and your wife typically play, but it sounds like she normally plays alone. I think some people on this forum assume that hotwives always or typically play alone, or that playing alone is the "default" arrangement for hotwives. That works well for some couples, but for us, her playing alone was a giant trust-leap from us playing together. We never would have started with her playing alone, which would have caused us the same degree of anxiety and jealousy that you're experiencing with your wife potentially staying overnight.

My wife's first overnight experiences were unplanned. After dinner and a few glasses of wine and then several rounds of sex in a hotel room, she'd end up too tired to drive home safely. She'd fall asleep for a few hours, which typically recharged them for one more round, which might lead to falling back asleep. It never felt like "sleeping over" since she was basically taking naps in between fucking and she always arrived home by dawn. It wasn't restful sleep for her, and certainly wasn't restful for me. Those protracted dates caused heartburn for me because I'd have my hopes up for some reconnection sex, which isn't going to happen if she's sneaking in at 6AM to find me passed out on a couch.

Those dates weren't exactly sleepovers, but she technically slept with another man in another bed. That made it easier to explore more deliberate overnight dates and everything that comes with them: sleeping nude or partially clothed, groggy middle-of-the-night wake-me-up-by-sliding-in sex, morning sex, showering together, after breakfast sex, and otherwise being totally unconstrained by time. My wife still isn't completely comfortable with overnight dates, but she admits that the uninhibited freedom makes the sex amazing. It doesn't feel like fucking; it feels like dating.

It was actually easier for me to deal with planned overnight dates than it was to wait up for her while watching the clock. Her first true overnight date was actually my idea, more out of practical concerns for her safety than anything else. A former boyfriend was almost an hour away, so we decided she should pack a bag when visiting him. It was lonely while she was gone, but better than being disappointed when she doesn't come home before I fell asleep.

The loneliness hasn't changed. My wife and I really enjoy each other's company, so when we sleep apart for any reason we both miss each other. That's why we try to arrange her overnight stays for when we'll be apart anyway, such as when I take a golf trip or am out of town on business. For me, the torment is less less about her being with another man and more about not being with her myself. But as the adage goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Reconnection sex after an overnight date can be electric, and I love coming home from a work trip knowing that my wife spent the previous night with another man. Just make sure to check your expectations and jealousy if you decide to try it.

Thank you for all of the replies and advise. Currently, L meet with J and the dates last 4-5 hours at a hotel in the city. J has a very busy life and a longtime GF that he loves, but apparently their relationship is sexless (supposedly for over a year). That's another story, but my point is that any meetings at his house are out of the question. We offered him the opportunity to meet L at our house, in the spare bedroom, but he politely declined and felt it would be "weird" and said that their regular hotel was kind of "their place." I think he wants to keep it simple and not involve much else. L talked to J previously, and both of them feel that me being present would not be comfortable. I have respected their wishes, my wife did this for me so I need to affirm that, and in some ways its hotter IMO. In regard to sleepovers, it would never happen locally as he has family and work commitments. But, in this instance he would be in another country and could possibly get away for a day and we would be in the near vicinity. It appears that L has an interest in this, and we need to delve into the positives and negatives. On my end, I feel like I've come a long way in the past year and don't feel threatened at all. She assures me that I am her number one and could never give up everything we've experienced together. She enjoys the time with him, the way he makes her feel sexy and desired while also increasing my desire for her. In her words, she has the "power to be desired by two hot men." I find this opportunity exciting and different, and I think, in a way, L does too....This would be another big step for us and just balancing the positives v negatives. Next week they are trying to schedule another meeting where she plans on taking him to lunch for his birthday, Valentines Day and their one-year FWB Anniversary. She plans on wearing a very sexy dress, heels and NO UNDERWEAR!! This would be their first time actually in public (other than the hotel lounge or pool). I NEVER thought this would actually be happening, but new doors continue to open.