What does it feel like to lose your wife?

[BD8280]

Hi everyone! Unclear question I know but what does it feel like psychologically to lose your wife sexually?
I’ve been pushing things forward for almost 5 years now, although my wife hasn’t done anything with another guy yet I feel like we are on a ride which I probably can’t stop anymore. My wife knows about everything and our sex is always about her being fucked by another man now, these last few months she has become totally comfortable about it all and happy to go along with it. She controls if I go inside her or not and sex is all about her. She still won’t actively find another guy but I feel certain that if the right guy came along she would get with him pretty quickly now.
I am starting to feel inferior to her now and I don’t really like it, But I also can’t help but keep going along with it. Last night we went on a date night, she got really dressed up and looked stunning, I’m 5ft 10 and with heels shes around 6ft tall she has an incredible figure and 30HH boobs so she really turns heads, because of the way things are going I feel less deserving of her and more sure that she needs a real big stud of a man to fuck her while I look after things at home. I am conflicted because I don’t want to be humiliated or feel lesser than her but at the same time I do. Weirdly I can’t help myself from continuing down this path it feels like the natural thing to do.
Ps before people start asking yes we do have an incredible relationship and communicate about everything, she’s constantly asking me if this is what I want, am I sure she doesn’t want anything to change between us etc etc etc. Lots of guys were checking her out last night which was a bit scary….
My point is I just can’t stop myself from going in this direction and sometimes scare myself a little, I know I’m playing with fire but isn’t that what everybody is doing here? What’s it like when she does actually start moving in this direction herself? And what do I do?
Thanks in advance for all comments it’s much appreciated

[slowsteady]

You can play with fire. Fire never plays with you.

Keep on going with this and your question will soon be answered.

[Cdncuck]

You don't need a hotwife relationship. You need to see a counselor.

[Carlbiinchicago]

I urge you to stop this if you can. She will start to get feelings for the guy, even if he is a terrible option.

Unless things are really great in your relationship and even if they are, it can go south. I've been sexless for 3 years and only brought up my hotwife fantasy during sex. Sure the idea turned me on, but the execution of it has been horrible. I absolutely hate the guy she talks to.. and she was on the phone with him constantly. It was and is terrible. I don't know if it's over, it's had several false endings and supposedly has ended again but she's on the phone with someone tonight.

[troilusand]

"I am starting to feel inferior to her now and I don’t really like it"

You may not like the feeling, but from what you've said, you ARE inferior to her! Accept it!...Enjoy it!

Since you've gone down the road this far, it sounds like you're already at the point of no turning back for either of you. I know from my experience that I suffered from self-loathing (and still do) for accepting my inferiority -- and that that was sexually stimulating! If you're like me, you know that you're sexually inferior to other men, and that you're not good enough to satisfy her; she needs more than you're capable of providing.

I've had a lot of great sex before she cucked me, but none as good as since! Which has been mainly with my right hand...

Troilus

P.S. PM if you'd like. I'd be happy to elaborate more.

[BD8280]

"I am starting to feel inferior to her now and I don’t really like it"

You may not like the feeling, but from what you've said, you ARE inferior to her! Accept it!...Enjoy it!

Since you've gone down the road this far, it sounds like you're already at the point of no turning back for either of you. I know from my experience that I suffered from self-loathing (and still do) for accepting my inferiority -- and that that was sexually stimulating! If you're like me, you know that you're sexually inferior to other men, and that you're not good enough to satisfy her; she needs more than you're capable of providing.

I've had a lot of great sex before she cucked me, but none as good as since! Which has been mainly with my right hand...

Troilus

P.S. PM if you'd like. I'd be happy to elaborate more.

This is exactly exactly what I am talking about!!
I do enjoy it all, I enjoy her being all powerful, I enjoy her being in charge, I enjoy her being powerful in her job, I enjoy her doing exactly what she wants and getting what she needs.
Of course I know we have to maintain the perfect communication and boundaries will have to be set if things get started.
Ps. I never used to be inferior to her, sex has always been great and I would be the dominant one, but I am the person who is turning her into this and i am enjoying it. She sometimes asks me after sex “what are you doing to me”. I say… “I'm not sure, but I like it”

[Long Lurker 34]

"I am starting to feel inferior to her now and I don’t really like it"

You may not like the feeling, but from what you've said, you ARE inferior to her! Accept it!...Enjoy it!

Since you've gone down the road this far, it sounds like you're already at the point of no turning back for either of you. I know from my experience that I suffered from self-loathing (and still do) for accepting my inferiority -- and that that was sexually stimulating! If you're like me, you know that you're sexually inferior to other men, and that you're not good enough to satisfy her; she needs more than you're capable of providing.

I've had a lot of great sex before she cucked me, but none as good as since! Which has been mainly with my right hand...

Troilus

P.S. PM if you'd like. I'd be happy to elaborate more.

This is exactly exactly what I am talking about!!
I do enjoy it all, I enjoy her being all powerful, I enjoy her being in charge, I enjoy her being powerful in her job, I enjoy her doing exactly what she wants and getting what she needs.
Of course I know we have to maintain the perfect communication and boundaries will have to be set if things get started.
Ps. I never used to be inferior to her, sex has always been great and I would be the dominant one, but I am the person who is turning her into this and i am enjoying it. She sometimes asks me after sex “what are you doing to me”. I say… “I'm not sure, but I like it”

BD# - Seems to me you have answered your own questions.
- If you want her to lead then you will have to be willing to step back and allow her to steer.
- It's really, in my mind, a matter of the speed at which things occur and becoming comfortable with them and communicating this to your wife.

[4herpleasure89]

This is the epitome of what I hate about the lifestyle. For some it is death wish of one of the most precious assets of life, a good marriage. I’m happy to read others above who are writing the same thing. I don’t think this “fetish” should be countenanced on ohw.

[scarfolamew]

If yall actually read the first post he doesn't want to lose his marriage. He's just talking about sex!

[SimpleEnigma]

Any time you add another lover to a marriage, there exists the possibility of emotional involvement that you may not be prepared for. Just because your wife has sex with someone else doesn't mean you are going to lose her, either physically or romantically. But it can and does happen.

"I am starting to feel inferior to her now and I don’t really like it."

Then don't do it. The lifestyle is supposed to be fun and adventurous whilst mixing in the emotional stew of compersion and/or jealousy, envy, arousal (the so-called 'angst' that wittols crave). If you are afraid this will spill over to outside the bedroom, then I would be cautious and take things slowly. Only you can read your wife. Do it carefully.

[LawyerWouldbeCuckold]

You don't need a hotwife relationship. You need to see a counselor.

Even though I'm not even in this lifestyle; (and given my current lack of a partner; me joining this lifestyle seems to be problematic at best....LOL LOL LOL), I find myself in complete agreement with Cdncuck.

I think there are some feelings of inferiority and inadequacy going on that should be explored by you, your wife and a counselor.

I will also say this- there is no "one size fits all" to this lifestyle, and there are some situations that should remain in fantasy. Reality sometimes does not conform to our expectations; and all things considered, sometimes it is best to leave fantasy in the realm of fantasy.

It does sound as if you have a good, strong marriage with a woman who loves you.

I'd be very wary of putting that at risk.

[naivecuck2]

It started with a U.S.P.S. letter addressed to her parents house. He was a recently divorced former HS boyfriend that wanted to get reacquainted with a woman that he had not talked too nor seen in 17 years, my wife. Her parents forwarded the letter to my wife and the gest of the letter was that he wanted to take her out to dinner. So, I gave her a "hall-pass" before there was a movie about it. She drove her own car to meet him on a Friday night, at a suburban Chicago restaurant, that slowly revolved 360 degrees, over the Chicago skyline, (very romantic), at 5:00 or 6:00 PM. After dinner he rented a room in the up scale hotel that also included the restaurant. At 5:00 AM, Saturday morning, she arrived home. She said her dress, bra and panties were in a pile on the floor and she was shyly naked under the sheets. He fucked her with a bigger cock and with more stamina than me multiple times and gave her multiple orgasms that I could not give her. The next week, they fucked 5 days, Monday thru Friday, at least 3 times per day, while I was at work and our two daughters were at school. She was immediately "addicted" to sex with him and she cucked me for two years, even going to an out of state concert in Indiana, with him, for a Saturday night performance, that she said they fucked when they arrived at the motel then again after dinner then again after the performance then again early Sunday morning before driving home. When our daughters were out of school, during the summer months, she and I bought her a bowling ball and shoes so that she could spend Friday nights, Saturday mornings, "balling". I lost her "physically" and "emotionally" and we divorced. However, after the divorce her lover demanded exclusive use of her car and she belatedly saw the light and dumped him. I was very naive at the time!

[shazne]

the first time i was devestated that i knew ive been cuckolded by a better man and that theres no going back ever

[gfdag]

It started with a U.S.P.S. letter addressed to her parents house. He was a recently divorced former HS boyfriend that wanted to get reacquainted with a woman that he had not talked too nor seen in 17 years, my wife. Her parents forwarded the letter to my wife and the gest of the letter was that he wanted to take her out to dinner. So, I gave her a "hall-pass" before there was a movie about it. She drove her own car to meet him on a Friday night, at a suburban Chicago restaurant, that slowly revolved 360 degrees, over the Chicago skyline, (very romantic), at 5:00 or 6:00 PM. After dinner he rented a room in the up scale hotel that also included the restaurant. At 5:00 AM, Saturday morning, she arrived home. She said her dress, bra and panties were in a pile on the floor and she was shyly naked under the sheets. He fucked her with a bigger cock and with more stamina than me multiple times and gave her multiple orgasms that I could not give her. The next week, they fucked 5 days, Monday thru Friday, at least 3 times per day, while I was at work and our two daughters were at school. She was immediately "addicted" to sex with him and she cucked me for two years, even going to an out of state concert in Indiana, with him, for a Saturday night performance, that she said they fucked when they arrived at the motel then again after dinner then again after the performance then again early Sunday morning before driving home. When our daughters were out of school, during the summer months, she and I bought her a bowling ball and shoes so that she could spend Friday nights, Saturday mornings, "balling". I lost her "physically" and "emotionally" and we divorced. However, after the divorce her lover demanded exclusive use of her car and she belatedly saw the light and dumped him. I was very naive at the time!

did you get her back after she dumped him?

[emca753]

I was aroused at the gradual decline in my sexual access an her heightened feelings for her boytoy : sexual intercourse to condom intercourse to oral sex to handjobs to self masturbation

[Long Lurker 34]

It started with a U.S.P.S. letter addressed to her parents house. He was a recently divorced former HS boyfriend that wanted to get reacquainted with a woman that he had not talked too nor seen in 17 years, my wife. Her parents forwarded the letter to my wife and the gest of the letter was that he wanted to take her out to dinner. So, I gave her a "hall-pass" before there was a movie about it. She drove her own car to meet him on a Friday night, at a suburban Chicago restaurant, that slowly revolved 360 degrees, over the Chicago skyline, (very romantic), at 5:00 or 6:00 PM. After dinner he rented a room in the up scale hotel that also included the restaurant. At 5:00 AM, Saturday morning, she arrived home. She said her dress, bra and panties were in a pile on the floor and she was shyly naked under the sheets. He fucked her with a bigger cock and with more stamina than me multiple times and gave her multiple orgasms that I could not give her. The next week, they fucked 5 days, Monday thru Friday, at least 3 times per day, while I was at work and our two daughters were at school. She was immediately "addicted" to sex with him and she cucked me for two years, even going to an out of state concert in Indiana, with him, for a Saturday night performance, that she said they fucked when they arrived at the motel then again after dinner then again after the performance then again early Sunday morning before driving home. When our daughters were out of school, during the summer months, she and I bought her a bowling ball and shoes so that she could spend Friday nights, Saturday mornings, "balling". I lost her "physically" and "emotionally" and we divorced. However, after the divorce her lover demanded exclusive use of her car and she belatedly saw the light and dumped him. I was very naive at the time!

NC2 - I think she was just as much as you feel you were.

[Kaffircouple90]

It’s so weird but sexually this is what I want to happen

[little sissy Benita]

I think, thats a normal situation when the relationship with her friend/lover becomes closer. A relationship develops that is initially limited to sexual things. But you can ask yourself, why did she choose HIM as her sexual partner and not someone else? Of course he also has to be likeable to her, not just physically - maybe she finds his voice appealing or his eyes. It could also be that his appearance is more masculine than that of the "husband".

Of course you can set boundaries beforehand - but will she stick to them when her feelings for him grow?
Your wife asks you - is that what you want?
I can only speak for myself - a woman needs a real man in bed who can give her what she deserves. Of course this doesn't work with a micro penis.
And I wasn't/am not muscular - I worked in a chemical laboratory - and I understand very well when my former wife (now my mommy only) wants to be in the arms of a strong and muscular man.

Are we playing with fire? Yes, of course.
Nobody knows how everything will develop, I can only confirm that.
But I think a cuckold has to take his place. A lot of things are humiliating for me - but it's what I wanted, maybe some things in a different way.

If someone asks me what my relationship with my former wife (now only mommy) is like now, I answer - she loves me, but now in a different way. We talk often, but also on a different level - she explains to me how I have to behave - like a mom talk to her little daughter.

I accept this and I am happy and grateful for my upbringing and for my life as a little sissy girl

little Benita

[naivecuck2]

It started with a U.S.P.S. letter addressed to her parents house. He was a recently divorced former HS boyfriend that wanted to get reacquainted with a woman that he had not talked too nor seen in 17 years, my wife. Her parents forwarded the letter to my wife and the gest of the letter was that he wanted to take her out to dinner. So, I gave her a "hall-pass" before there was a movie about it. She drove her own car to meet him on a Friday night, at a suburban Chicago restaurant, that slowly revolved 360 degrees, over the Chicago skyline, (very romantic), at 5:00 or 6:00 PM. After dinner he rented a room in the up scale hotel that also included the restaurant. At 5:00 AM, Saturday morning, she arrived home. She said her dress, bra and panties were in a pile on the floor and she was shyly naked under the sheets. He fucked her with a bigger cock and with more stamina than me multiple times and gave her multiple orgasms that I could not give her. The next week, they fucked 5 days, Monday thru Friday, at least 3 times per day, while I was at work and our two daughters were at school. She was immediately "addicted" to sex with him and she cucked me for two years, even going to an out of state concert in Indiana, with him, for a Saturday night performance, that she said they fucked when they arrived at the motel then again after dinner then again after the performance then again early Sunday morning before driving home. When our daughters were out of school, during the summer months, she and I bought her a bowling ball and shoes so that she could spend Friday nights, Saturday mornings, "balling". I lost her "physically" and "emotionally" and we divorced. However, after the divorce her lover demanded exclusive use of her car and she belatedly saw the light and dumped him. I was very naive at the time!

did you get her back after she dumped him?

[No, both my ex and I are remarried...my current wife is not into cuckolding.]

[naivecuck2]

It started with a U.S.P.S. letter addressed to her parents house. He was a recently divorced former HS boyfriend that wanted to get reacquainted with a woman that he had not talked too nor seen in 17 years, my wife. Her parents forwarded the letter to my wife and the gest of the letter was that he wanted to take her out to dinner. So, I gave her a "hall-pass" before there was a movie about it. She drove her own car to meet him on a Friday night, at a suburban Chicago restaurant, that slowly revolved 360 degrees, over the Chicago skyline, (very romantic), at 5:00 or 6:00 PM. After dinner he rented a room in the up scale hotel that also included the restaurant. At 5:00 AM, Saturday morning, she arrived home. She said her dress, bra and panties were in a pile on the floor and she was shyly naked under the sheets. He fucked her with a bigger cock and with more stamina than me multiple times and gave her multiple orgasms that I could not give her. The next week, they fucked 5 days, Monday thru Friday, at least 3 times per day, while I was at work and our two daughters were at school. She was immediately "addicted" to sex with him and she cucked me for two years, even going to an out of state concert in Indiana, with him, for a Saturday night performance, that she said they fucked when they arrived at the motel then again after dinner then again after the performance then again early Sunday morning before driving home. When our daughters were out of school, during the summer months, she and I bought her a bowling ball and shoes so that she could spend Friday nights, Saturday mornings, "balling". I lost her "physically" and "emotionally" and we divorced. However, after the divorce her lover demanded exclusive use of her car and she belatedly saw the light and dumped him. I was very naive at the time!

NC2 - I think she was just as much as you feel you were.

[My ex and I are still friends and talk to each other about our two adult daughters and our two grand-daughters, however, most of our communications are via e-mail, so, as not to irritate our mutual spouses. ]

[little sissy Benita]

What does it feel like to lose your wife?

A difficult topic - I'm trying to share my thoughts and experiences.

In the movie Forrest Gump, Forrest says - life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get. I think there is a certain wisdom in this sentence.

We have been in the cuckold lifestyle for a long time - and started after the birth of our second son.

But before we started, I have to explain, I was by no means a husband who would share his wife or let her cuckold him. On the contrary, I didn't even want my wife to talk to other men without me - not even on her smartphone - not even on WhatsApp - I also checked her smartphone and her emails. I was a jealouse and dom husband.

For me, cuckolding was a dance on a volcano, things can go well for a long time, then suddenly everything is different. My opinion was - if a wife has a lover, over time a relationship will develop between the two. Not every lover would limit the relationship solely to intercourse.

And when a woman chooses a man as her sexual partner, she also sees him as the future father of her children and as her husband. She would look up to him.

For me these were marital duties, usually on a weekend, but not always. Now I know that it was never actually satisfied - very often only for a few minutes and I'm only equipped with a tiny willie.

The first experiences were almost a revelation, I mean seeing how she gives herself to another man - who is better endowed and seeing how stamina the other man is. Even the way he touches and touches her breasts - at that moment she belongs to him, not to me. It's like an addiction to see her with other men. At this time she began to feminize me, which I found exciting. It was something completely different to what I was used to. Later, feminization made it clear to me that I was never a real man - not a real husband and not a real father either. Basically, I've always been feminine. But I also noticed that I don't feel like a woman (I don't want to put on makeup like that, it didn't feel right or walking in high heels was difficult for me. When she started making me into a little sissy - I noticed - It's me.) I said to her, why not try a BBC - without knowing that it would change everything. We visited bars where Africans met. I have to say - my wife loves dancing - but I can't dance. It was a special experience to see her dancing with African men - you had the impression that they were both floating across the dance floor.

When he then said he was going to take her with him for a moment - I suddenly had a sinking feeling in my stomach. A BBC with my wife - she will have a new experience - because I had read a lot about BBC - would the sentence be true - once you go black - you never come back??? Well, she started meeting these African men as often as she could - I wasn't there - sometimes I had to work (I was employed in a chemical laboratory - also in research) and I also played video games to relax.

When she was home. She loved making me her little sissy and I love wearing short petticoats, dresses and skirts. I had to let my hair grow long so that she could do ponytails and pigtails for me - I wear ballet flats and girls' sandals with it. She then started meeting an African man more and more often and I noticed that their relationship was becoming more intimate. She talked about him very often - that she felt safe in his arms and that she felt like a real woman when he held her breasts in his hands and when he took her like a real man. She also told me that she dreams about him often. I wasn't really surprised when she told me she was in love with him - she had butterflies in her stomach. During this time I continued to develop into a little sissy and after I was retired due to illness, I started living 24/7 as a little sissy (she also started diapering me and she wanted that I use pacifiers and so on ). I had to leave the bedroom and go to the guest room - which then became my girls' room. I understand that only real men are allowed into the bedroom

Of course he also started visiting her at home - she introduced me to him as her little daughter and I also started acting like her little daughter. For him (and other BBC) this means she can choose BBC without my consent. He really liked the way she treated me. Especially when she diapers me and sends me to bed early in the evening. I didn't think it was bad because I could hear what was happening in the bedroom, smile. Because of the medication, my interest in sexual activities completely disappeared - I was now impotent and my genitals were shrinking a lot - I asked the doctor why this was happening and he just said, these are just the side effects, you can't change that.

In the meantime, she replaced my pictures on the walls with pictures of him. Then one evening she said that she wanted him to move into our house. A period of difficult conversations began and there were also tears. She said to me - I no longer see you as my husband or father of children. I see Paul as my husband - you can leave me and lose me - or you can start living and behaving completely as my little daughter. I thought back and forth - I was afraid of losing - and I chose the lesser evil and agreed. Now they both live like a married couple and I have to admit that she is happy as his wife. I really love seeing them walking hand in hand and giving each other French kisses Everything has changed and it's a good thing

​little Benita

[Loserpaul]

I lost my Dottie sexually years ago. We have not had sex together for years, she only fucks her bulls now. We still have a relationship, just that we don't have sex together. We do share sexual experiences though - she fucks her bulls, she teases me about it, I jerk-off to relieve my frustration.

I know she won't have a true relationship with any of those men. She loves the vigorous & sometimes rough sex she gets from them & loves their alpha dominance in the bedroom. But in real life there is no way she'd ever let any man dominate her outside the bedroom. Her personality is way to forceful for that.

[little sissy Benita]

A lot hotwifes have stoppt sexual activitys with there husbands/cuckolds. Maybe i have the luck that i was not so sexual active, i don´t need it - as she said you must be pussy free - i was happy for that - of course also that she chouse now real men for he bed. I came always to early and with a tiny willie ist not satsfy for her.

Be happy that you have a married relation with your wife and that she see you still as her husband.

My former wife see me not more as her husband and also not as father of the kids. She fall in love with her african Bf and he is now her husband and both living as married couple in the house.
She wanted that i am became her little sissy (baby) daughter, and it is not allowed to see her naked and it´s not allowed for me to kiss her on her mouth - only on her cheek, like little girls do it.
But this is not bad for me - for me is this the best way to living

[SubSnuggler]

I'm submissive to my Wife, and as a result I don't get oral from her as she sees that as a submissive act. While her lovers get BJ's all the time, I absolutely never get one.

I am also her locked cuckold. As submissives don't enjoy submissive acts from their dominants, cuckolds in chastity have tenuous expectations when it comes to sex with their Wives. I do enjoy her pussy from time to time, but only as a gift to me, she doesn't expect to get pleasured by that in the sense that I'm going to give her orgasms. Her enjoyment is intimacy with her cuck, and her life partner. Raw sexual gratification is left to others.

[TinyBoyDick]

Hi everyone! Unclear question I know but what does it feel like psychologically to lose your wife sexually?
I’ve been pushing things forward for almost 5 years now, although my wife hasn’t done anything with another guy yet I feel like we are on a ride which I probably can’t stop anymore. My wife knows about everything and our sex is always about her being fucked by another man now, these last few months she has become totally comfortable about it all and happy to go along with it. She controls if I go inside her or not and sex is all about her. She still won’t actively find another guy but I feel certain that if the right guy came along she would get with him pretty quickly now.
I am starting to feel inferior to her now and I don’t really like it, But I also can’t help but keep going along with it. Last night we went on a date night, she got really dressed up and looked stunning, I’m 5ft 10 and with heels shes around 6ft tall she has an incredible figure and 30HH boobs so she really turns heads, because of the way things are going I feel less deserving of her and more sure that she needs a real big stud of a man to fuck her while I look after things at home. I am conflicted because I don’t want to be humiliated or feel lesser than her but at the same time I do. Weirdly I can’t help myself from continuing down this path it feels like the natural thing to do.
Ps before people start asking yes we do have an incredible relationship and communicate about everything, she’s constantly asking me if this is what I want, am I sure she doesn’t want anything to change between us etc etc etc. Lots of guys were checking her out last night which was a bit scary….
My point is I just can’t stop myself from going in this direction and sometimes scare myself a little, I know I’m playing with fire but isn’t that what everybody is doing here? What’s it like when she does actually start moving in this direction herself? And what do I do?
Thanks in advance for all comments it’s much appreciated

My wife and I live the cuckold/hotwife lifestyle and have for many years. Reading your story highlights stark differences between your situation and mine. First, my wife and I are totally in agreement with what happens in the lifestyle. It IS true that I introduced her to it, but she embraced it with open “arms” and it is a positive part of our lives. Our relationship is very strong and not dependent on sex. In other words, there is no danger of me losing her to another man or vice-versa because we are held together by deep love and respect.

Please do not misunderstand me, sir. I’m not suggesting your relationship is not also based on love and respect as mine is. What I’m recommending is that you fully understand that this cuckold thing that you want REQUIRES your wife to be 100% on board. She should want it too- and not just to please you. Otherwise you’re playing a dangerous game that might cost you a relationship that is precious to you both.