She wants me to not want it?

[Melodia1330]

The other night my wife told me it’s a turn off for her when I want her to sleep with other men. She hasn’t done it yet but is getting really close to with a colleague. She wants him and likes teasing me about it, but she wants me to not want it to happen. She wants me to accept that she can do as she pleases and take other lovers but not want it to happen. Not sure if I can pretend to not want her to do it though. Anyone else in this situation?

[wifedateshubwaits]

My wife has occasionally felt that way. She likes to make me jealous and will sometimes be disappointed when her efforts only arouse me. I’ve learned to lean into this to some degree and will pretend to be more jealous than I truly am, not to the point of asking her not to sleep with other men, but I’ll make comments about how her boyfriends are “spoiling her” for me. My wife will play along with me, teasing me about my insecurities, but eventually she’ll tell me not to worry since it’s just “sex.”

[BBCfan]

After initially sharing my fantasy about seeing my wife with a certain BBC again, she felt it meant I didn't cherish her pussy.
She didn't understand why I would want to "throw her to the wolves", and took it as an insult.

I think it took some time for her to understand the compersion aspect of my arousal.
I still do get quite jealous if somebody hits on her or I think is flirting with her. Think that helps her understand it a bit better, in that it doesn't mean I'm not cherishing her by have a certain fantasy involving her receiving immense pleasure.

It does go against the societal norm most people have of a romantic relationship,so it's understandable many women would struggle was certain aspects of it, even if they are sexually intrigued by it.

I'm sure you would be mortified if this guy tried to steal her from you, So perhaps reminding her of the emotional and partnership bond you still desire to maintain and likely don't want threatened.

[Triceratops]

Do what she demands of you. You know that is best

[ucaneffher]

I feel like I can understand your wife and wish that things were reversed for me as well.

Currently, I want it to happen real bad. I love it and crave it and can't wait for my gf to be promiscuous.

instead I wish that it was my girlfriend who was the one who was really into it and instead was the one deciding to do it, making me accept her doing it, I wish it was her who was teaching me the little details of the lifestyle and molding me suit her personality and desires to not commit only to me sexually. I other words, I wish that I was moreso forced to become a cuckold with a simple ultimatum that I either learn to like it or I can walk away.

I wish it was her who was initiating and making me sit my ass down at the bar and stay there by myself while she goes off socializing on her own. Prohibiting me from approaching her until she comes back for me.

I wish that it was her telling me that me is is opening a tinder , plenty of fish, bumble, AFF, and AM so expect her to start going out in the following days. I wish she began dating and being promiscuous on her own accord and by her own initiative and I simply accept, get used to it, learn to like it, and ultimately become the supportive and encouraging partner that she deserves.


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Little background for those who may be interested and don't mind reading a little more:


While it hasn't been that way, there have definitely been things that my ex did that I had no input or control of which truly pushed my limits and made me feel helpless but turned on. Things such as getting cut off from penetration for a whole year, getting off birth control while being exclusive with her boyfriend and not making an effort to practice safe sex with him, not hide her relationship with him from anyone including her family. All these things were done whether I wanted it or not and I admit that I didn't like not being given a choice but I loved that I had to learn to accept them if I wanted her in my life, and I did. I learned to not have penetrative sex with her and at the same time I got used to knowing that every night when she came home from her boyfriends house, that she always and I mean always had his semen inside of her from their daily sessions. It bothered me in the beginning that he was getting her and finishing inside of her but I liked that she made me get used to it and made me accept that that was my new life.

As a result of that experience, I would be open minded firmly current girlfriend to take charge and decide how she would like to mold me. I am open to anything that does not involve homosexual acts/man on man action.

[Long Lurker 34]

The other night my wife told me it’s a turn off for her when I want her to sleep with other men. She hasn’t done it yet but is getting really close to with a colleague. She wants him and likes teasing me about it, but she wants me to not want it to happen. She wants me to accept that she can do as she pleases and take other lovers but not want it to happen. Not sure if I can pretend to not want her to do it though. Anyone else in this situation?

M# - Just wondering if since revealing this desire to your wife, if she is becoming more demanding in general? In that she is slowly remaking your marriage into a FLR.

[Melodia1330]

The other night my wife told me it’s a turn off for her when I want her to sleep with other men. She hasn’t done it yet but is getting really close to with a colleague. She wants him and likes teasing me about it, but she wants me to not want it to happen. She wants me to accept that she can do as she pleases and take other lovers but not want it to happen. Not sure if I can pretend to not want her to do it though. Anyone else in this situation?

M# - Just wondering if since revealing this desire to your wife, if she is becoming more demanding in general? In that she is slowly remaking your marriage into a FLR.

Yeah, we’re definitely a FLR now. I’m the one that suggested that it would be fun to try having her be more dominant and me more submissive and might make our relationship more harmonious. We used to butt heads and argue a lot. Not anymore. If I start to talk back she has me get on my knees and recite my pledge to her. Unless we’re in front of guests or the kids and then I get a stern look that tells me I’m out of line and will need to repent. I’m surprised that she took to it so enthusiastically but it was the first of my “kinks” that she bought into. Next came enforced chastity which she now loves too. Becoming a hotwife is the next step in our journey. It went from no way ever! to yeah it’s probably going to happen but on her terms and with a lover that she has an emotional connection to and has nothing to do with me.

[Melodia1330]

After initially sharing my fantasy about seeing my wife with a certain BBC again, she felt it meant I didn't cherish her pussy.
She didn't understand why I would want to "throw her to the wolves", and took it as an insult.

I think it took some time for her to understand the compersion aspect of my arousal.
I still do get quite jealous if somebody hits on her or I think is flirting with her. Think that helps her understand it a bit better, in that it doesn't mean I'm not cherishing her by have a certain fantasy involving her receiving immense pleasure.

It does go against the societal norm most people have of a romantic relationship,so it's understandable many women would struggle was certain aspects of it, even if they are sexually intrigued by it.

I'm sure you would be mortified if this guy tried to steal her from you, So perhaps reminding her of the emotional and partnership bond you still desire to maintain and likely don't want threatened.

Yeah, she wants me to cherish her and has a hard time understanding the compersion I feel about her having pleasure without me. There’s always a part of her that thinks I’m not that into her if I want to share her. It’s true I do feel jealous about him knowing her intimately the way I do, but it’s also such a turn on that I want to push through it. I don’t fear losing her as a partner as I don’t believe that’s likely. We have built a family together and have deep bonds and excellent communication. I’m willing to accept a reduced role and lower rank sexually with her as her NRE blooms with her future boyfriend, but if he wanted me to not have any access to her, that would be a problem for me. I could allow sole PIV sex privileges for him, but if he dint want me to go down on her and she agreed, I’d be devastated. I don’t mind the idea of a poly relationship with them having love between each other too though.

[Cdncuck]

I'm afraid I don't understand the situation at all.

[BBCfan]

After initially sharing my fantasy about seeing my wife with a certain BBC again, she felt it meant I didn't cherish her pussy.
She didn't understand why I would want to "throw her to the wolves", and took it as an insult.

I think it took some time for her to understand the compersion aspect of my arousal.
I still do get quite jealous if somebody hits on her or I think is flirting with her. Think that helps her understand it a bit better, in that it doesn't mean I'm not cherishing her by have a certain fantasy involving her receiving immense pleasure.

It does go against the societal norm most people have of a romantic relationship,so it's understandable many women would struggle was certain aspects of it, even if they are sexually intrigued by it.

I'm sure you would be mortified if this guy tried to steal her from you, So perhaps reminding her of the emotional and partnership bond you still desire to maintain and likely don't want threatened.

Yeah, she wants me to cherish her and has a hard time understanding the compersion I feel about her having pleasure without me. There’s always a part of her that thinks I’m not that into her if I want to share her. It’s true I do feel jealous about him knowing her intimately the way I do, but it’s also such a turn on that I want to push through it. I don’t fear losing her as a partner as I don’t believe that’s likely. We have built a family together and have deep bonds and excellent communication. I’m willing to accept a reduced role and lower rank sexually with her as her NRE blooms with her future boyfriend, but if he wanted me to not have any access to her, that would be a problem for me. I could allow sole PIV sex privileges for him, but if he dint want me to go down on her and she agreed, I’d be devastated. I don’t mind the idea of a poly relationship with them having love between each other too though.

Did not know your background and that you are FLR and she controls your sexuality.

I'm wanting to have more sex with my wife, not less. Would never agree to giving up PIV.

If I ever did, I think my wife would be done with me as it would seem obvious to her that I didn't really value her pussy enough to fight for it.

Understand that's part of your thrill so I wish you all the best but perhaps your wife wants you to show a bit more desire to still remain a guy that wants her that way?

[tractorman2]

I kinda understand where the op is coming from;

Females are strange creatures as i know only too well from my own model and cuckoldress. My cuckoldress always has in her mind to appear reluctant to anything naughty, but it was she than made me her cuck husband in the traditional way. I know she has her wants and desires but in her mind think even if i like them too, that i shouldn’t. So why tell me then??

Its as if they are wanting you to be their moral compass, to say NO! and when you’re not, they don’t like it...or more act as if they do not, to justify to themselves it is what i would like her to do. Which is disgusting in someways to her but really what she wants with permission to dip her toe into.

I would suggest taking her somewhere such as a works party where he is, don’t mention him at all, buy her a few drinks then become "ill" or for some reason have to leave early, leaving her here there and let her decided what she does. Her choice and decision not yours.

Complicated indeed, but then she knows you know but you’ve not made the decision, she has.

I first encountered this soon after we met, i asked her if she would remove her jumper and bra for a topless picture for me, she just stared at me, then after a pause said my dad wouldn’t like it, well indeed not. Then she removed her top standing there topless for that picture. She has never seen that or any other naughty pictures ive taken: she doesnt want to see them.

She still hates me taking pictures of her of a sexual nature but I’ve now pushing 15000 and still she doesn’t like her picture taking!

So why so many if she doesnt like it?

I am free to take pictures of her and her lover, i know she likes this power trip infront of her husband, her cuck. Days later she will suggest we go for a walk and dress nicely for me. However if i dont ask for a picture or two she becomes frustrated finally saying: don’t you want a picture?. Its like dont you fancy me any more?

I have sourced most of my cuckoldress lovers over 30 plus years and she has always been "reluctant" to then meet them the first time. Yet agreed in the first place. I just see my role as her cuck as a facilitator of opportunity that i know she wants, she will always say i am only meeting him "for you" then as has been common immediately takes the opportunity as i know she probably always was going to by become sexually involved with him.

In her mind this is for me but she gets the final decision as she would expect and demand.

[MartasBoy]

The other night my wife told me it’s a turn off for her when I want her to sleep with other men. She hasn’t done it yet but is getting really close to with a colleague. She wants him and likes teasing me about it, but she wants me to not want it to happen. She wants me to accept that she can do as she pleases and take other lovers but not want it to happen. Not sure if I can pretend to not want her to do it though. Anyone else in this situation?

Yes, my wife had a really hard time understanding why I might find it exciting. She had fears that I was tired of her and wanted to pass her off to others. She had fears that this was all just a setup so that I would have justification to cheat. I spent lots and lots of time talking with her in processing, to help her understand why it was a fantasy of mine.

I pointed out that, most all of us men find it validating, and a bit of an ego trip, to know that other men desire our wife. We find it a thing of Pride and an ego trip, to think that we are with a woman that other men desire.

My wife admitted that she felt similar things, but she felt more pride when other women told her that I was really nice, and that they felt she was a lucky woman to have a good husband like me. She found it a little satisfying, when other women told her that I was handsome. But it was more of an ego trip for her for women to say she was lucky because I was a good husband and father.

I told her that I found it exciting when I catch other men checking her out and admiring her beauty. I told her that it's a particular ego trip and turn on when I catch men looking at her in a real sexual way. I told her how much I like it when my buddies tell me that I'm a lucky man because she's beautiful and a great wife.

I had to lay out a hierarchy of how all of this is different levels and all related. I laid the levels out like this:

1. My buddies tell me I'm a lucky guy and that my wife is beautiful.
2. I'm aware of signs that some of my buddies might be fantasizing about her.
3. I catch other men looking at her.
4. I see other men flirt with her at a party or bar.
5. If she forgets her ring at home, I get excited when guys think that she is single and that they might have a chance to sleep with her.
6. They tell her that I have fantasies of her getting a little drunk and kissing or making out with one of these guys.
7. I tell her that I have fantasies of the ego trip of knowing that some guy propositions her or ask her out, and she tells them that she's married and turns them down.
8. I tell her that I get turned on by the thought that she actually accepts an offer from one of these guys and goes up to a motel room with him.
9. I shared fantasies that she comes home and tells me about her time sleeping with the guy.
10. I told her that the next level of the fantasy would be getting to watch her do things with another guy.

I laid all of this out and let her know that each of these levels are all related to the same fantasy and ego trip, of knowing that I am with a woman who is so beautiful other men desire her. All of this seemed to help her understand how it was all connected, and why it was a fantasy for me.

It took her a long time to come to a conclusion that he could have some pleasure and excitement for herself, and that it would be sighting and satisfying for me as well. It took her a long time to realize that hot wifey could be a win-win for both of us.

[eater]

The other night my wife told me it’s a turn off for her when I want her to sleep with other men. She hasn’t done it yet but is getting really close to with a colleague. She wants him and likes teasing me about it, but she wants me to not want it to happen. She wants me to accept that she can do as she pleases and take other lovers but not want it to happen. Not sure if I can pretend to not want her to do it though. Anyone else in this situation?

in later posts you talk about your insecurities about her being with other men. perhaps you can emphasize these in you talks. "it excites me to think of you with other men but i'm so scared that ...." make it plain how much you value her and fear losing her and at the same time you are excited by sharing her.