What made me a cuck: Envying sexually successful men

[Bartleby]

I just came to realise what made me a cuck and I would like to know whether other cucks here have the same reason or can at least relate to my feelings.


As a young man, I was never successful with the ladies. I lost my virginity at age 21. I had some friends who had had sex with more than 6 girls. I envied them extremely. At times I wanted to block out the knowledge of their success, I did not want to hear about it because it filled me with so much pain. They could get all the love and pleasure they wanted while I was lonely and frustrated.

This continued after my first girlfriend of ca 3 years left me. Even the experience of having an extremely good looking gf for about 2 months did not improve my confidence. I was single and without sexual contact for many years. I started to believe that I could never find a girlfriend. The envy issue was there again.

I found my wife when I was 32 after many years of solitude.

At some point in my life, I don' t know when, this envy turned into admiration. From there, to desire to have sexual contact with such men. I sought such men and had plenty of homosexual contact, but only on the gay side. I prefer to have older, dominant men to be my partners.

When my wife and I agreed that she could have lovers. I was excited because the first one fell into the category of sexually successful man. The second one as well, but the third one not. I resented him and did not want my wife to get fucked by him.

The idea of a guy who can have many women taking my wife just for fun fills me with humiliating excitement. I feel I am submitting to the men I have envied all my life. It is a liberating experience. I wank while they fuck my wife, later on I get to hear the stories. I lick my wife's pussy or fuck her afterwards to show that I am not mad at her at all for her adultery. The greatest thing is when the lover tells me the details. When I hear how my wife undressed for him and sucked his cock.

The whole thing does not work out if I the bf does not fall into this successful male category in my eyes. That is why I rejected my wife's third lover.


Pretty unfair of me, I should accept anyone, it is my wife's business after all. But this is how I feel and this is why I am a cuck, I am quite sure.

For me, being a cuck is taking a completely new angle at homosexuality for that reason. It is having sex with men via your wife, in your fantasy alone. At least, that is how I feel about it for myself.

Any thoughts on this? I would love to discuss my revelation with you.

[hubudig2]

This is interesting because my own experiences somewhat intersect yours.
I'm very introverted but my close friends were extroverts working in public facing jobs.
They would have different girlfriends every other week but they couldn't satisfy women sexually.
In contrast, I've only been with a few women but they would seek to continue fucking me regardless of their relationship status with anyone else.
I wasn't overly jealous of the number of women my friends slept with but they had heard rumours from women I'd been seeing and seemed to develop a fascination with their girlfriends being tempted by me as if they were staging it for me to seduce them and they pretended to be unaware when something happened.
I realised a few years after that those experiences probably set them on their paths to being cuckolds and me on a path to enjoying a bull perspective.

You seem to identify success with women as how young you lose your virginity, how attractive the women are, how many there were and the amount of time spent single.
My friends were more "successful" in these areas than me.
Do you think if you had been more successful in those areas, things might be different?

You said your wife's lovers have to fit a successful male category; would someone that can attract a lot of women fit that type? Even if they couldn't satisfy women?

[Bartleby]

This is interesting because my own experiences somewhat intersect yours.
I'm very introverted but my close friends were extroverts working in public facing jobs.
They would have different girlfriends every other week but they couldn't satisfy women sexually.
In contrast, I've only been with a few women but they would seek to continue fucking me regardless of their relationship status with anyone else.
I wasn't overly jealous of the number of women my friends slept with but they had heard rumours from women I'd been seeing and seemed to develop a fascination with their girlfriends being tempted by me as if they were staging it for me to seduce them and they pretended to be unaware when something happened.
I realised a few years after that those experiences probably set them on their paths to being cuckolds and me on a path to enjoying a bull perspective.

You seem to identify success with women as how young you lose your virginity, how attractive the women are, how many there were and the amount of time spent single.
My friends were more "successful" in these areas than me.
Do you think if you had been more successful in those areas, things might be different?

You said your wife's lovers have to fit a successful male category; would someone that can attract a lot of women fit that type? Even if they couldn't satisfy women?

Interesting question. Thank for your input.

You just made me realise how juvenile and mainstream my feelings were back then and probably still are today. I can't shake those decade long feelings that easily.

Of course, the number of women a man has slept with is not a true indicator of success. It is silly, but that is what is burned into my mind. I realise that I still feel this envy. I don't even know how many men I have had sex with, they don't count. It is only women that count. And yes, the number and the ease. It is stupid, I admit.

Example: I am happily married for 18 years now. I have a friend, his girlfriend left him, he was sad. Since then, I saw him kissing two or three other women. He recently got together with a younger woman from Peru, very pretty. I envy him for exactly the thought pattern described. I don't have any reason for envy, I this envy is just burned into me.

Things would be VERY different if I had been more successful or at least able to validate my successes. Or understand what success should really be.

Attracting a lot of women is what I envy. What they then do is up to my imagination. The men will not report back to me that they could not get an erection when trying to fuck that girl they picked up from the bar I went with them. (Example) So in my mind, every pick up counts. I am not even so sure whether the attractiveness of the woman plays much of a role. I guess a little bit.

[Bartleby]

Yeah, I realised I started to enjoy my envy in some form of humiliation. What a weirdo I am .

[sml_peterBR]

I can say my experience has many common points with yours.
I think for me it all started when I was 15, in the dressing room after going to the pool with some friends, I saw one of them naked and his cock was much bigger than mine. It was the first time I've noticed another man's cock and I was scared and confused. Didn't knew if he was big, if I was small or both, as I realized in the future. I was very introverted with girls at that time and it became even worse after that.
Later in college I got a girlfriend but besides that, I envied the few men that were able to have fun with many different women and always the prettiest and hottest ones. Through porn, I learned to enjoy my submissive side and started to see hot women as superior too. I developed interested in everything related to women beauty, as lingerie, make up, etc.
My cuckolding experience started with my third girlfriend and current wife, and helping her to prepare for dates and look her best for the real successful men is something that really turns me on.

[tractorman2]

I can see some of my experiences in what Bartleby has written, maybe its quite a indicator as who will become a cuck,

I was brought up in a rural area where there were few people of my own age group. I was very introvert and as a single child happy to spend my time away from school enjoying my own company or visiting my male friends 2 miles away. My exposure to girls was nil as there were none in our family.

In my mid teens i gained a girlfriend but then a bully at school found out and spread lies to her about me so she went, i remained a fustrated virgin till i was 21 by now living in North America. My outward confidence grew and with a couple of girlfriends under my belt returned to the UK.

I got a job which brought me into contact with many women, outwardly i was confident and quiet outgoing, I could chat to a women for a short period till i ran out things to say, i didn’t do small talk but had a girlfriend.

Then i was chased by a girl, i invited her out and found immediately that she was very outgoing, confident, a wild child 6ft and slim extremely fit. The big one for me was we had a lot in common to talk about and felt from the first meet it had been like talking to a best friend i never had, had. This is documented elsewhere.

She turned out to be more like me than i realised underneath that tough exterior was a history of being bullied for being female, skinny, flat and 6ft only filling out about a year before we met. Her insecurity was hidden by her outgoing personality, just like mine.

I soon liked other men looking at her, she was truly a trophy gf, i never expected to keep her but as it turned out i did. I learnt a lot in the first couple of years from her very dominant father and became more assertive and confident, which is what she wanted in a man.

I have never felt that other men are superior to me; i have forged an excellent career as we both have together and have a lifestyle most would envy.

Time has shown me though that she was the kinkier one even from the start, soon cheating on me and confessing. I liked these confessions well her second one anyway.

I suppose it was a natural progression liking other men looking at her to other men kissing, fondling her to seeing her submitting to another man, then to becoming her cuck husband at her wish and liking my place. Later realising we were both sexually very submissive, me to her and she to another sexually dominant man. I have never felt bisexual.

So I’ve embraced my place as her cuck husband, later semi feminised at her hand and enjoy my normal vanilla life as a dominant alpha male but hidden away as a sexual submissive too. It was never about my dick size more my lack of experience but have no doubt she would have played away whatever as her mind was so kinky and she needed to explore her sexuality. As she later admitted,I accepting her cheating before marriage enforced in her mind that i would accept her having boyfriends, lovers within the marriage, so she could indeed have her cake and eat it.

It has always been her wish once my cuck status was accepted that she would always want me involved in some way as I choose, even if I simply agreed she could spend nights in hotels or our marital bed with her lovers. Watch, that’s my choice.

[Anthony57]

Very good to hear.