A Bull's Thoughts On Desirable Traits For COuples

[Ty2023]

By the time I travel with a couple, the wives are already past the comfort stage and into the enjoyment stage of being watched. The idea that we are in public, only makes it that much more exciting.

Thank you for your answers. It's great to get a view from the bulls side of things.

I feel that I don't make it clear what I was asking about traveling with the couple. I was wondering what the wife's reaction to her husband being 'a third wheel' during the day. You wrote that you and the wife are free to can act like boyfriend and girlfriend:holding hands, dancing, siting next to her when you eat and rubbing her thigh, make out in the pool, etc. I have a feeling I know how the husband feels, very turned on and enjoying every second of it. For me, I would have to fight urge to find a private place to relief some pressure. If you know what I mean.

[subguy80]

Does having the husband submit to you or be humiliated by you seem to turn on the wife? At first, most wives aren't sure if their husbands enjoy it or not. If they see that they enjoy submitting and being humiliated, it will excite them. If not, they'll be protective of their husbands and it will be a huge turn-off.

One side note is that one offshoot of dominating the husband is that it usually increases the wife's submissive feelings for me. If I can dominate her husband, that makes me seem that much more powerful and masculine.

Your thread should be required reading for anyone considering entering the cuckold LS. I’m really enjoying it.

I completely “get” your comment about only enjoying giving humiliation if the cuck husband enjoys it. As a cuck husband who does enjoy it, do you ever incorporate SPH (small penis humiliation)? I am average size, but my wife’s lover is 8 inches. I know he loves SPH and my wife, who was hesitant at first over concerns it would hurt my feelings, has become good at it.

Second, have you ever incorporated chastity cages with your cuck husbands? In our case, my wife loved the idea and her lover enjoys “neutering” me when he wants to make a point. There is nothing like waking up with a hard-on pressing against the cage and not being able to do anything about it. Not to be crude, but there is no stronger statement to show who "owns" the wife's pussy.

That leads me to my last question: Do you and a wife ever use denial for the cuck husband? I understand not everyone is into these types of humiliation, but for those of us who are, I’d love to get your perspective. You seem to really “get” the concept by your statement, “If I can dominate her husband, that makes me seem that much more powerful and masculine.”

And finally, have you ever had a cuck husband thank you for giving his wife amazing sex? It can be a powerful technique to reinforce the dom/sub dynamic.
Thanks!

[bowlerlb]

The bull/boyfriend is bringing you something special. As a host you should treat him as well as you can......feed him well, make your home a welcoming place, be friendly, indulge in good conversation etc, like you would for your friends.

It all ends up being mutually beneficial in the end. When a cuckold is a welcoming and gracious host, it allows me to focus my attention and efforts on pleasing his wife. The better I can please the wife, the happier she is. The happier she is, the happier her husband. His efforts will be repaid multiple times over.

I also take the husband's efforts as a sign of respect and appreciation. It signals that I am doing a good job and encourages me to do my best. I certainly take note of his efforts and I am thankful for them.

And to your point about respect, it is always about mutual respect. The husbands respect me for what I provide their wives, their marriage, and themselves. Meanwhile, I respect the cucks as husbands and for the supportive role they play in my relationship with their wives. Without their support, the relationship won't be successful. With their support, it will only get better. Finally, the wives can be both respectable ladies, but also wild women in the bedroom. The bedroom play does not detract from the other.

What you said here is really what the cuckold lifestyle is all about. Mutual respect and max pleasure for all. For this I thank them when I leave and it is normally the hubby that thanks me and talks about the next session and how it might go. BTW he is expected to clean up both his wife and my cock.

[athlete915]

I was wondering what the wife's reaction to her husband being 'a third wheel' during the day.

If it is our first trip and/or opportunity to be that "open" with one another, the wives sometimes get a little carried away and focus more on us than they do at home. It's not that she is bothered by her husband's presence or is actively ignoring him, but rather that she is so turned by the experience that she doesn't have a lot of spare bandwidth to think about him.

My cucks have always been understanding about it and don't take it as an insult. They love seeing her giddiness and excitement, so they are happy to sit back and enjoy the view... and as you mentioned, take frequent trips back to the room to relieve themselves. You naughty cuckolds just can't control yourselves sometimes

Once the newness of the situation wears off a bit and maybe it is a second or third trip, most wives find they enjoy the opportunity to tease their husbands in public, while they are with me. She may find opportunities to make eye contact with him while we are out dancing. Maybe as we are playing around in the pool, she will ask him to go get us drinks and mention that my hands are busy with more important things. That of course drives the cucks nuts... in a good way.

Again, keep the questions and comments coming.

[athlete915]

“Your thread should be required reading for anyone considering entering the cuckold LS. I’m really enjoying it.” Thank you. That’s very kind of you and I appreciate the feedback. I obviously have my perspectives and biases, so it’s good to hear what others thing.

As a cuck husband who does enjoy it, do you ever incorporate SPH (small penis humiliation)? Wait…there’s an acronym for that?! Of course, there is lol.

I know that there’s the myth that most cuckolds are small but, in my experience, all of my cuckolds have been average (4-6”) or even a bit above average. With that said, I don’t think any cuckold or wannabe cuckold wants their wife to have a guy who is any less than they are. In fact, they want that guy to be able to provide something “special.” While size isn’t everything, it shouldn’t be controversial to say that size does matter. It’s not rocket science to realize that being able to stimulate more nerve endings is a good thing.

I’m sure your wife’s lover’s size makes a significant impact on her pleasure when compared to you. Am I right?

So, we can agree that the vast majority if cuckolds want their wives to have bigger men. They want to see the difference that the size makes. Of course, that difference comes with comparison. While that comparison can be nerve-wracking for the cuckolds, especially at first, there’s an undeniable excitement to it as well. While how they are compared to her lover/bull varies, the desire is there. Part of that variation comes with who they like to receive that teasing from, the wife or I. The wife’s comfort in teasing her husband is often a big factor too. Few wives are comfortable with it at first. I think it helps them to see how excited their husbands are when I tease them. With a little encouragement, the wives can get quite good at it and enjoy it themselves.

Long answer to a short question, but I figured something more than a “yes” would be valuable.

“Second, have you ever incorporated chastity cages with your cuck husbands?” Yes, I have. I don’t use them with every cuck, but I will certainly use them as a training tool. First, I think they can help the husband grow from a more vanilla role into his cuckold role. Second, they represent a clear sign of my dominance over him, both to him and his wife. Third, they teach cuckolds to appreciate their releases. Just about all boys start masturbating in their early teens and there is essentially an assumption that when they want/need to, they can cum. Cages take that away. They can no longer cum whenever they want. When they are finally allowed to cum they appreciate it so much more. I would easily argue that a husband who has been caged will appreciate a handjob release from his wife far more than a vanilla husband will appreciate cumming from intercourse with his wife.

One thing to note though is that I believe you can attain a lot of those same ends without using a cage, so it isn’t a situation where it is cage or nothing.

“That leads me to my last question: Do you and a wife ever use denial for the cuck husband?” What do you mean by denial here? We just covered chastity denial, but did you have something else in mind (e.g., intercourse denial)?

And finally, have you ever had a cuck husband thank you for giving his wife amazing sex? Everyone has. I couldn’t be with a couple where the cuck didn’t. It would either indicate that I wasn’t I wasn’t performing well or that the husband wasn’t properly respectful and appreciative. If I can’t please the wife, I shouldn’t be involved in their marriage. If the cuckold isn’t respectful, he can’t be a good cuckold.

[Ty2023]

athlete915

Thank you for your answer. That's what I was curious about. For me, seeing them being a couple in front of me is one thing. Having her tease me while their being a couple, that would be a whole new level of wow!

[Cuckyboy3]

Thanks for sharing your insights, Athlete... you said "One side note is that one offshoot of dominating the husband is that it usually increases the wife's submissive feelings for me. If I can dominate her husband, that makes me seem that much more powerful and masculine. "

A follow up on the question of humiliation: Do you ever punish the husband as part of the cuckolding? For example, do you or would you spank the cuck in front of his wife to put him in his place and reinforce your authority as the alpha?

[trecital]

I know that there’s the myth that most cuckolds are small but, in my experience, all of my cuckolds have been average (4-6”) or even a bit above average. With that said, I don’t think any cuckold or wannabe cuckold wants their wife to have a guy who is any less than they are. In fact, they want that guy to be able to provide something “special.” While size isn’t everything, it shouldn’t be controversial to say that size does matter. It’s not rocket science to realize that being able to stimulate more nerve endings is a good thing.

If you look at examples of humans that excel in their field, then it is not just the tools they have available that make the difference.

Of course, it helps to have the best tools available for the job. Have you ever struggled to achieve a good result in a certain task, then bought the best tools for that job, and found that you could achieve a far better result with ease?
So, to be good at the task you need the best possible tools.
But, to be a master craftsman you need more than the best tools. You need training. You need experience. You need dedication. But that might still not be enough.

A slightly obscure example, but one that has always stuck with me, after seeing a documentary about him on TV.....a wood carver working in the late 17th century, called Grinling Gibbons. He only had hand tools, but the work he achieved...... absolutely stunning. If you see his work you cannot believe that it isn't produced by a complex modern day, computer controlled machine. His work stands head and shoulders above anybody in his craft. And yet he had tools that were available to anybody with a modest income. His skill comes from somewhere else, somewhere beyond normal. Look up his work, preferably on YouTube to appreciate the skill involved.

To be a successful male lover you will need skill, dedication etc....and the right tool......yes, a good sized cock will help ( a quality tool for the job). But the very best lovers need something more....that perhaps innate ability to know how to use their tool like a master craftsman.

It's a combination of tool, dedication, experience and a certain something. And quite a lot of us are lacking on more than one count.
If you want the job done properly, call in an expert.

[athlete915]

A follow up on the question of humiliation: Do you ever punish the husband as part of the cuckolding? For example, do you or would you spank the cuck in front of his wife to put him in his place and reinforce your authority as the alpha?

My apologies for the tardy response.

The truth is that I haven't felt the need to put cuckolds in their place. That's achieved simply by outperforming them sexually, which is why they invited me into their relationship in the first place. The husband who just spent two hours watching me fuck his wife doesn't need reminders.

If it turns out that my cuck has a spanking kink or is at least curious about it, I am happy to indulge. But that's about fun rather than "punishment."

So, do I punish? I was talking to another cuck about this the other day. When my cucks are good, I believe in rewarding them. In my experience, cuckolds are people pleasers and will rarely be bad. In the rare times that they are bad, my punishment is typically to take away a privilege. For example, I may allow them to watch that night or clean her. That's usually more than enough to correct the behavior.

[subguy80]

Do you and a wife ever use denial for the cuck husband?” What do you mean by denial here? We just covered chastity denial, but did you have something else in mind (e.g., intercourse denial)?

Yes, I do mean intercourse denial. It seems to be very common under the Cuckold Forum comments for husbands and boyfriends to be cut off and denied permanently or at least for long periods of time. Have you ever had this happen?

Also, I have a couple more questions that I hope you don’t mind answering.

You said that many cucks smile and react positively when you tell them they did a good job following your directions when you have sexual interactions with the wife. Can you expand on this? I assume some of what you refer to is the cuck’s help getting her ready for you? Are there other examples, like when he is part of the sex, but in a sub role and supporting you? What are some of the directions you give him?

You mentioned you have a discussion with the husband before going bareback with his wife. Besides the health and pregnancy concerns, what else is discussed? Do you talk about clean up? What if she is not on birth control? What have some of the reactions been? It’s pretty powerful for a husband or boyfriend when another man ejaculates in his wife or girlfriend, especially when there could be a pregnancy risk involved. Thanks!

[trecital]

For example, I may allow them to watch that night or clean her. That's usually more than enough to correct the behavior.

I presume that you meant to type "I may not allow them to watch or clean her". Can't see that it's a punishment otherwise

[Cuckyboy3]

A follow up on the question of humiliation: Do you ever punish the husband as part of the cuckolding? For example, do you or would you spank the cuck in front of his wife to put him in his place and reinforce your authority as the alpha?

My apologies for the tardy response.

The truth is that I haven't felt the need to put cuckolds in their place. That's achieved simply by outperforming them sexually, which is why they invited me into their relationship in the first place. The husband who just spent two hours watching me fuck his wife doesn't need reminders.

If it turns out that my cuck has a spanking kink or is at least curious about it, I am happy to indulge. But that's about fun rather than "punishment."

So, do I punish? I was talking to another cuck about this the other day. When my cucks are good, I believe in rewarding them. In my experience, cuckolds are people pleasers and will rarely be bad. In the rare times that they are bad, my punishment is typically to take away a privilege. For example, I may allow them to watch that night or clean her. That's usually more than enough to correct the behavior.

Makes sense... the outperformance in sexual matters puts the cuck in his place. The exclusion of privileges is good for added effect.

[athlete915]

I presume that you meant to type "I may not allow them to watch or clean her". Can't see that it's a punishment otherwise

Ha, true. My kingdom for an editor.

[Scias]

Hello! I love this topic and that you're so open to questions. If you don't mind, I'd like to ask some as well.

Have you ever had a cuck suck your cock? I'm an aspiring cuck and it's been a developing fantasy of mine to suck my gf/wife's lover/bf's cock in order to submit to him. If you're not into it, why do you think other bulls enjoy it?

Do you ever initiate sex related restrictions for the cuck? My favorite type would be the cuck having to use condoms for the few times he may have permission to have piv sex with his wife.

I saw you answered some questions regarding this one, but I'd like to ask regardless: When you sleep in the master bedroom with the wife, do you make sure to sleep on the husband's side of the bed? How does it lead to you taking over the bedroom and the cuck having to sleep in the spare bedroom or living room couch? Do you just tell him that he'll be sleeping elsewhere for the night?

Also, when you're spending time with the cuck husband alone. How do conversations go when you both talk about how you're going to be sleeping with his wife? Do you just say things like "I'll be going bareback and cumming inside her from now on, you won't be able to feel her pussy for a while"?

Thanks for the perspective!

[athlete915]

Okay, I thought so.

No, I don't arbitrarily and unilaterally cut the cucks off from intercourse. That sort of force isn't my style. While I understand the fantasy, I don't think it would work well in reality.

That's not to say that I don't have an impact on the couple's sex life. It's hard to imagine being in a relationship with a couple and there not being changes. What happens is more nuanced and gradual than what you have read about. As I become a wife's steady lover, the couple will often start to have less intercourse. From the wife's side, that's often because she is too tender in the day or two after our session or she is saving herself ahead of our next session. The husbands will understand those two issues but have the added disincentive of knowing that they are being compared to me. They've seen her with me and know how she is different with me, and it can be unappealing to be there with her thinking about those differences and knowing that she probably is as well.

For those and several other factors, most of my couples have begun to have less and less intercourse. I didn't need to tell them to and certainly not force them to. They did what felt right. I'm there just to help mentor them through that process.

The surprising thing is that as couples begin to have less intercourse, they become far more intimate. There is more kissing, hand-holding, snuggling, oral, and other play. Their physical play becomes more about expressing their emotional bonds than ever before. That can be very enjoyable for them.

As mentioned, cucks don’t want to feel left out and enjoy feeling like they are playing an active supporting role. That takes many forms, from helping her get ready for our dates, to cleaning her up when I am done, to cooking us breakfast while we finish a morning session. The cherry on top for helping out in those is when they are praised for it. While it is nice to get it from their wives, I think there is something special about receiving it from me.

I will usually not mention cleanup when I first discuss condoms and the potential of going bare. That would likely seem too early and rushed.

If a couple won’t agree to birth control, I’ll stop the relationship. I understand the fantasy of pregnancy risk, but in the real world that’s just dumb. Kids are lifelong commitments and VERY expensive. Anyone willing to risk having kids for a few thrills are immature and dumb. I don’t want anything to do with them.

[sherulestherooster]

Great thread! Appreciate the bulls that really understand the mental aspect of the lifestyle.

[athlete915]

Great thread! Appreciate the bulls that really understand the mental aspect of the lifestyle.

Thank you. I see the physical side as the gateway, but being a bull is really a thinking man’s game. Emotional intelligence is a key virtue.

[athlete915]

Hello! I love this topic and that you're so open to questions. If you don't mind, I'd like to ask some as well.

By all means. Thanks for the questions.

“Have you ever had a cuck suck your cock? If you're not into it, why do you think other bulls enjoy it?”

No, it just doesn’t arouse me to even think of another man sucking me. Why do other bulls enjoy it? Because they’re bi. Sometimes you’ll hear it claimed that they’re not bi and just do it for the power, but we can all be adults and admit that if you enjoy being pleasured by someone of the same gender, you’re bi.

“Do you ever initiate sex-related restrictions for the cuck?” Sometimes. It depends on the couple and what they are into, but yes.

“When you sleep in the master bedroom with the wife, do you make sure to sleep on the husband's side of the bed? How does it lead to you taking over the bedroom and the cuck having to sleep in the spare bedroom or living room couch? Do you just tell him that he'll be sleeping elsewhere for the night?” I have the habit of always sleeping in the spot closest to the door, especially when I am sleeping next to a woman. That’s regardless of whether it is my bedroom or not.

I haven’t really found the need to tell husbands that they need to get out. They usually just either understand that we deserve some privacy, or they’re spent from watching and need some rest of their own.

“Also, when you're spending time with the cuck husband alone. How do conversations go when you both talk about how you're going to be sleeping with his wife?” It’s more friendly and cordial than the way you describe it. I don’t need to be rude or crude to him to dominate him. I would much rather him look forward to me going bareback and cumming in her than feel like I am imposing it on him.

[trecital]

I don’t need to be rude or crude to him to dominate him. I would much rather him look forward to me going bareback and cumming in her than feel like I am imposing it on him.

I like the subtle psychology going on here. I can visualise a nice situation where hubby actually asks or suggests that you go bareback. And you saying something along the lines of "Well, if that's what you really want. But remember.....you suggested it". I can imagine hubby thinking....."Did I really just ask him to cum in my wife's pussy? What was I thinking!"
Then, you pulling out afterwards, turning to him, so that he can see his wife's pussy leaking your cum..... "There, is that what you wanted to see?"

Regarding allowing the bull/boyfriend to sleep in the marital bed......
I remember the early days of my wife's boyfriend. He was still somewhat unsure of why I was allowing my wife to continue the affair I had discovered they were having. I encouraged him to come to our house, and after chatting and drinking together I would encourage my wife to take him upstairs to our bedroom for sex, while I waited downstairs. Initially he would leave afterwards. But my wife eventually asked me if it would be ok for him to stay the night. I said yes, hoping that it would mean that I'd get a chance to join in, given the extra time available.
But, that first time he was due to stay, at bedtime he came downstairs with a duvet and pillows, saying "Your wife thought you might want these, seeing as you are sleeping on the sofa". He handed them to me, and I just instinctively said "Thanks". He smiled and turned around, going back upstairs to fuck my wife some more and sleep in our marital bed. It should really have been him saying thanks to me!

[athlete915]

I like the subtle psychology going on here.

It should really have been him saying thanks to me!

The analogy I often come back to is the difference between good and bad bosses. A bad boss will yell at you and tell you what to do. You may do it because they have positional authority, but you won't like it and you're likely going to do a half-assesed job of it. You also won't respect them either. If it gets bad enough, you will likely quit.

Now compare that to the boss who knows how to motivate you. You're doing what they say, but because you want to, not because you have to. Since you want to do it, you will work hard and do your best. You respect that boss and you want to please him. You will stay loyal to that company and not look for other positions.

Coming back to the lifestyle, I'll find an opportunity to discuss things like going bare with my cucks. If I fuck your wife bare, she's going to enjoy it more. If she enjoys it more, she's going to want more. If she wants more, you two get to explore more. Also, the better she's getting fucked, the happier she's going to be outside of the bedroom, which is going to have positive second and third-order effects throughout your marriage. It's in the cucks best interest for me to go bare.

Once the seed as been planted, no pun intended, I just need to give him a little time and space to recognize the logic in it. It won't be long though. He'll go from being on the fence to not only accepting the idea, but wanting it. Like you wrote, soon enough he may be the one asking for it.

Well, I would say that you and her boyfriend should have been saying thanks to each other. A little mutual appreciation and respect. Yes, he should thank you for letting him be with your wife and for you hosting, but you should also be thankful for the pleasure that he's providing her. Additionally, it would have been a much better touch if the idea of giving you the pillow and blanket was his idea, not hers. That would show his appreciation and care for you. Sometimes it is just the little things that let a cuckold know that they are appreciated. Then it is time for the bull to get back to the bedroom and his real work

[trecital]

it would have been a much better touch if the idea of giving you the pillow and blanket was his idea, not hers.

He did improve on the bringing of duvet and pillows, some time later.
On this occasion, along with the duvet and pillows, there was the panties that my wife had been wearing for the evening. They were deliberately laid on top of a pillow, turned inside out, so that the very wet and stained crotch was visible. He said "we thought you might make good use of these".
I did use them a little later, smelling the crotch while I masturbated. A little embarrassing in the morning when my wife quizzed me about what I'd done with her panties. They both smiled at my obvious discomfort in admitting what I'd used them for.

[2inUPMichigan]

I like the subtle psychology going on here.

It should really have been him saying thanks to me!

The analogy I often come back to is the difference between good and bad bosses. A bad boss will yell at you and tell you what to do. You may do it because they have positional authority, but you won't like it and you're likely going to do a half-assesed job of it. You also won't respect them either. If it gets bad enough, you will likely quit.

Now compare that to the boss who knows how to motivate you. You're doing what they say, but because you want to, not because you have to. Since you want to do it, you will work hard and do your best. You respect that boss and you want to please him. You will stay loyal to that company and not look for other positions.

Coming back to the lifestyle, I'll find an opportunity to discuss things like going bare with my cucks. If I fuck your wife bare, she's going to enjoy it more. If she enjoys it more, she's going to want more. If she wants more, you two get to explore more. Also, the better she's getting fucked, the happier she's going to be outside of the bedroom, which is going to have positive second and third-order effects throughout your marriage. It's in the cucks best interest for me to go bare.

Once the seed as been planted, no pun intended, I just need to give him a little time and space to recognize the logic in it. It won't be long though. He'll go from being on the fence to not only accepting the idea, but wanting it. Like you wrote, soon enough he may be the one asking for it.

Well, I would say that you and her boyfriend should have been saying thanks to each other. A little mutual appreciation and respect. Yes, he should thank you for letting him be with your wife and for you hosting, but you should also be thankful for the pleasure that he's providing her. Additionally, it would have been a much better touch if the idea of giving you the pillow and blanket was his idea, not hers. That would show his appreciation and care for you. Sometimes it is just the little things that let a cuckold know that they are appreciated. Then it is time for the bull to get back to the bedroom and his real work

(I have rewritten this 3 times because I want to make sure I am getting my point across.)
I am responding to the section in bold.

Personally I would not be happy with a conversation between a man I was playing with and my husband about changing our agreements. Respect for the marriage and our agreements is rule #1 and not negotiable.

We decided together that condoms were required. If a man that I am playing with tries to "convince" either of us to change our agreement I would have no further interest in meeting up with him.

A man who goes behind my back with an attempt at changing agreements between my husband and I has 0% respect for me or my marriage.

I will not be turning my back on our agreements. No man can ever convince me that his wishes are more important than the agreements between my husband and myself.

[trecital]

(I have rewritten this 3 times because I want to make sure I am getting my point across.)
I am responding to the section in bold.

Personally I would not be happy with a conversation between a man I was playing with and my husband about changing our agreements. Respect for the marriage and our agreements is rule #1 and not negotiable.

We decided together that condoms were required. If a man that I am playing with tries to "convince" either of us to change our agreement I would have no further interest in meeting up with him.

A man who goes behind my back with an attempt at changing agreements between my husband and I has 0% respect for me or my marriage.

I will not be turning my back on our agreements. No man can ever convince me that his wishes are more important than the agreements between my husband and myself.

And that is your choice. You've made certain rules and you don't want to change them. Whatever works for you.

But I don't see a problem with what athlete915 has written. He's not being coercive (certainly no more than any of us are in our normal life). He talked about "discussing" going bare. There was no mention of 'going behind anyone's back'.
There was no mention of pressuring anyone.
From what else athlete915 has written in this thread, it comes across that he is primarily dealing with intelligent, mature couples who are perfectly capable of deciding if 'going bare' is right for them. Obviously they need to think about pregnancy risk, and alternative contraception.
And I'm pretty sure that athlete915 thinks about the pregnancy risk too. He doesn't sound like a guy who wants an unplanned son or daughter.