intro and going deeper into situation

[user322]

Hi, your story is great! We're waiting for updates, thank you for sharing your adventure with us!!

[avid fan]

Love it, incredible retelling.... very interested to hear about the mental 'rewiring' you mentioned previously... curious to understand when/if you took a greater role in things as they developed...was wondering why the bedroom is locked whenever Josh was around...

This reminds me very much of the pit of the stomach cuckold feeling I got when reading old Mascarasnake stories (meant as a serious compliment!)

[Jeremie11231]

Love it, incredible retelling.... very interested to hear about the mental 'rewiring' you mentioned previously... curious to understand when/if you took a greater role in things as they developed...was wondering why the bedroom is locked whenever Josh was around...

This reminds me very much of the pit of the stomach cuckold feeling I got when reading old Mascarasnake stories (meant as a serious compliment!)

Thanks - yes, I'll write about those things as soon as I can!

As far as why bedroom door was locked -- honestly, I'm not even sure it was *always* locked because I never tested it out, but I would hear Emily lock it. Not out of being actually worried about me or anyone trying to get in there, but I think just for peace of mind and to make another person, like Josh, feel comfortable and private.

Our very first foray into a cuckolding situation was a very classic/stereotypical thing where we went to a hotel and I was there, and the other guy was someone who was very specifically wanting that whole dynamic. But then in this current set-up that started 2 years ago, it's been with men who are really just wanting to date and have good sex and that's the point of it, not to have me watching, or even around.

Also - can you (or anyone else) share any links to any Mascarasnake stories? Would love to see that! and thanks for the compliment ; )

[Jeremie11231]

Dear Jeremie

Wonderful to hear how Emily evolved into a sexually liberated Lady who discovered that She could do this without objections from Her cuck-husband.

Just wonder, where you allowed to serve orally serve Her at this time?
Do you do know?

To me, there is nothing to keep emotions going between a Cuckoldress and Her Cuckold than having the cuck provide oral servise whenever the cuckoldress feels like it.

Looking forward to hear how this has evolved and what situation you are in now.

Sincerely
elina

Thanks - yes I do orally serve her, as always - and have sex, too -- but also my ideas and definition of what "sex" is has expanded greatly and I've come to appreciate how many different ways of interacting can be "sex".

[mattyg_2671]

I have most of the Mascarasnake stories on my pc, they are still amongst the best ever. I’m happy to post a couple here somewhere if it’s permitted. My favourite ones are Beyond Teasing and The New Normal.

[trecital]

An interesting story, well told.
I'm certainly looking forward to the next installment.
Thanks for taking the time to post it here.

I wasn't sure of the time line that you've covered so far, and how long ago your last installment gets us to. Would be grateful if you could quickly clarify that.
Also, any chance of a little more info on your wife's physical characteristics? Helps with the mental imagery Thanks.

[elina]

I have most of the Mascarasnake stories on my pc, they are still amongst the best ever. I’m happy to post a couple here somewhere if it’s permitted. My favourite ones are Beyond Teasing and The New Normal.

Unless they are copyrighted, I think you are allowed to post these in the "Library" section.

Thanks
BR
Elina

[Jeremie11231]

An interesting story, well told.
I'm certainly looking forward to the next installment.
Thanks for taking the time to post it here.

I wasn't sure of the time line that you've covered so far, and how long ago your last installment gets us to. Would be grateful if you could quickly clarify that.
Also, any chance of a little more info on your wife's physical characteristics? Helps with the mental imagery Thanks.

Hi - thanks! -
Re: timeline -- at this point, I've described up to about 7-8 months ago - it's tough because there are multiple layers of development and change that kind of fuzz together, and one thing I've learned is that sometimes you don't realize how much something has changed until you're already past the line. In telling the story, I'm kind of focusing on events that clarify change and "lock it in". That's how I see a lot of this -- there's a potential, and things are changing, and then things happen that demonstrate what's changed and solidify it.

Re: Emily's appearance - 5'1", thin/petite, reddish brown hair, blue eyes, very fair complexion, some freckles, glasses, very cute and pretty, fits a kind of 'nerdy'/innocent look, mostly quiet and introverted, but gives off a vibe of there being more a lot more in there - more wildness and naughtiness than their innocent appearance would suggest.

[scarfolamew]

Re: Emily's appearance - 5'1", thin/petite, reddish brown hair, blue eyes, very fair complexion, some freckles, glasses, very cute and pretty, fits a kind of 'nerdy'/innocent look, mostly quiet and introverted, but gives off a vibe of there being more a lot more in there - more wildness and naughtiness than their innocent appearance would suggest.

great, now I feel like I've known her for years and am 10x more emotionally invested in your story than I already was

(really sounds like somebody I know quite well, read my story in the Wannabe forum if you want the details lol)

[Jeremie11231]

I should also say, because it feels relevant to the development of things and significance of lots of events and incidents, that Emily has always been very sweet, kind, nurturing, and tending toward submissiveness.

[mattyg_2671]

I have most of the Mascarasnake stories on my pc, they are still amongst the best ever. I’m happy to post a couple here somewhere if it’s permitted. My favourite ones are Beyond Teasing and The New Normal.

Unless they are copyrighted, I think you are allowed to post these in the "Library" section.

Thanks
BR
Elina

Thanks. I posted The first few chapters of Beyond Teasing in the Library.

[trecital]

An interesting story, well told.
I'm certainly looking forward to the next installment.
Thanks for taking the time to post it here.

I wasn't sure of the time line that you've covered so far, and how long ago your last installment gets us to. Would be grateful if you could quickly clarify that.
Also, any chance of a little more info on your wife's physical characteristics? Helps with the mental imagery Thanks.

Hi - thanks! -
Re: timeline -- at this point, I've described up to about 7-8 months ago - it's tough because there are multiple layers of development and change that kind of fuzz together, and one thing I've learned is that sometimes you don't realize how much something has changed until you're already past the line. In telling the story, I'm kind of focusing on events that clarify change and "lock it in". That's how I see a lot of this -- there's a potential, and things are changing, and then things happen that demonstrate what's changed and solidify it.

Re: Emily's appearance - 5'1", thin/petite, reddish brown hair, blue eyes, very fair complexion, some freckles, glasses, very cute and pretty, fits a kind of 'nerdy'/innocent look, mostly quiet and introverted, but gives off a vibe of there being more a lot more in there - more wildness and naughtiness than their innocent appearance would suggest.

Thanks for your response. I understand what you mean about how the situation changes.

And thanks for the description of Emily. As I said, it helps to form the mental imagery when reading your story. Only thing I would like to know in addition, is bust size. Hope that's not being too cheeky

[Jeremie11231]

It's okay - her breasts are smallish, cute, perky - like milky white porcelain and little pink nipples

[Jeremie11231]

Thanks. I posted The first few chapters of Beyond Teasing in the Library.

Thank you so much! Have just read a tiny bit and I can tell it will be amazing.

[Jeremie11231]

So, now I’m talking about developments within 2023. Really wanting to bring you guys into the last couple of months and then be able to share ongoing, like a journal. Again, I’m sticking to actual facts, but of I’m omitting a lot of the boring ‘normal life’ stuff that is happening throughout all this – life events, stresses, unsexy stuff. And I’m definitely not writing about all the sexy stuff that did happen – just focusing on the process and the points where things shifted and I continued to get ‘rewired’, as we’re calling it… It's satisfying to write about all this -- feels helpful to me -- and I'm glad some people are enjoying reading it -- thanks for your comments!

There are so many thing, so many situations and aspects to all this where real life is not like the fantasies, and it’s hard to foresee them all clearly when you first open up the conversation letting your wife know you’d be turned on for them to have sex with someone else. I always have to remind myself that that is how everything started.

One big thing that doesn’t make it into a lot of the fantasies, is that the other man, in this case Josh, is a real person and a real emotional connection develops that is its own thing, and can't just be turned off. You can always decide just the two of you that you aren’t in the mood to play some bondage or role play game. But this is different – there are other people in the mix.

There are times, like the one I described earlier, where Josh coming over might not have made much sense based on what was going on in our bedroom, but it was a good time for Josh. And Emily wanted to satisfy his needs and desires. In fact she would say things in bed with me about how much she liked the idea of serving the needs of a guy who had such a high sex drive that he needed to come and get his needs met with her. And she would mention to me periodically that “Josh has a really high sex drive, you know…”, implying that it’s not just what she wants, but that she has to consider his needs, too.

And another thing that doesn’t really come into focus in fantasy is that there’s going to be emotional connection between your wife and a lover. It makes sense not to be able to imagine that, because in the fantasy it’s usually just this vague idea of a man. But when it’s a real person, one you’ve seen and met, and one you have a good sense of who they are, then it becomes really real. And of course there is going to be deep emotion… if she likes him, respects him, he’s a great guy overall, and she is feeling him all the way deep inside her body, his body between her legs… Of course there is going to be an emotional relationship. I do think there is such a thing as deep sexual love that happens when there is sharing of something like that, with such chemistry, mixed with such deep penetration and intense sensations – like a shared secret only they could know between them.

At some point I found out from Emily that she and Josh texted every day, starting with a “good morning” text. They were actually close friends. And every time he came over, between and after sex sessions they’d cuddle naked and talk for a really long time. Of course the thought (or fear) did come up – of how far it could go. I have been comforted just by the fact that he is married, and is way younger, and I wouldn’t really see them as a full time couple – plus, Emily and I are so bonded and our lives fit so well together, like we were made to be lifetime partners.

Still, I did have difficulty at times. And once it had entered this stage where it was clear Emily was in charge and was definitely going to keep having sex with Josh, and if not Josh then others (and like I’ve mentioned before, there have been others interspersed along the way) – once it was in this stage, I needed to help myself focus on how it turned me on, and not get on a different track with it.

The first thing that helped with that was something that began naturally very early on, way before this – orgasm restriction. I restricted them myself, and would talk to Emily about it, and she totally understood, and she’d also set restrictions. Very playfully and lovingly. Definitely none allowed while Josh was here, and usually none allowed from the time they made plans for him to be here, which could be anything from earlier that day to days ahead of time.

The thing about Emily is that she just really *understood* the whole cuckolding mindset – I had shared a few erotica stories with her early on, and she actually found them really hot – like *really* hot. And more than that, she really *got* them, and she ran with them. She’d say things in bed that weren’t just regurgitated from a story, but things that were naturally coming into her imagination to say. In that way, I have felt like I won the lottery as someone with cuckold fantasies. BUT, just having those fantasies doesn’t mean it’ll be simple in real life. And it wasn’t for me.

So orgasm restriction was number one. Number two, I’d say, would be having the orgasms I *did* have be either her touching me or me masturbating myself while she talked to me about it. This I consider to be like a kind of programming. That is a time to roll out any announcements of any new developments or escalations in the situation – when I’ll nod and say yes to just about anything. As someone who understood the psychology of all this, she knew that even though things turned me on, they could also be difficult to accept, and the best way to push forward any potentially difficult thing was when I was in a state of maximum turn-on.

So, even with the orgasm restriction, there were times when Josh was over, or during the day on a night I knew he was coming over, where I’d be edging myself and have an ‘accident’. And that made things harder for me. It wasn't just about ‘obeying’ - it was about not making things even harder for myself.

By that time I had read and thought a lot about chastity devices. It was something I read about in erotica stories and saw in porn. Now that I think about it – it was a thought that was a lot like the idea of *being cucked* used to be to me: something that stirred up feelings – something I didn’t want to think about it because it just seemed too *something* – too weird? too submissive? I don’t know – I just know I didn’t want it, but it turned me on to think about it. And it seemed too embarrassing to even mention to Emily. But the experiences I was having when Josh was over made me feel out of control, like I could cum just from any touch at all. I read comparisons of different chastity devices and ordered one without telling Emily. I just wanted to see what it would feel like, and didn’t want to get into something I might regret later on.

After trying it on myself and leaving it on for an hour or two while I was at home alone, I still didn’t know what to think. It felt super humiliating, even all by myself when know one else even knew it existed. It felt silly. I didn’t like having to sit to pee. It felt uncomfortable at times. Sometimes I could actually forget it was there, if I got into doing some work. But if I did think about it, it made me think about sex. And then I’d want touch myself. But I couldn’t. That *turn on* I’d get thinking about being locked in a device would usually happen while I was masturbating, freely. With it on, not being able to touch myself like that, I felt kind of stuck.

It’s just occurring to me now as I write this, but I’m realizing it was a lot like the idea of getting cucked in the first place – thinking about Emily having sex with another man. The chastity device, in the privacy of my mind and the little experimental wearing of it all by myself in private – it was the same: wanting it and not wanting it. Not wanting to like it, but somehow liking something about it. Not wanting to think about it, but unable not to think about it. Embarrassed to even be thinking about it at all – embarrassed to have ordered one of these things for myself… Embarrassed at the thought of ever showing it to Emily – imagining she might think it was really pathetic or just dumb beyond help. It was one thing to “play it cool” and be the bigger man by being cool with my wife sleeping with other people – I can pass that off as “open marriage” - that’s cool, right? This plastic penis cage, though? Not cool. Like, really not hip or cool at all. (But then, who was I kidding about thinking of what was going on as “open marriage”, anyway?) I’d be masturbating, and I’d keep thinking about fantasies where I was locked in this thing by Emily and couldn’t touch myself. Then I’d put it on another time and couldn’t touch myself, and that felt really frustrating, and I thought it just wasn't for me (what was the point of something being hot if I couldn't touch myself?). The cycle kept repeating.

This intense *turn on* sensation would happen for me when I held in my thoughts the actual possibility of being *required* to be in this plastic cage. It wasn’t hot if I was ruling out any possibility of that happening in real life – just like it was years ago, thinking about the actual real life possibility of Emily with another man. But also just the same was this fear of whether I would actually like it or even be okay with it in real life. This fear that if I even brought it up with Emily, it could lead into something I didn’t like but couldn’t take back. Emily had discovered that I couldn't deny that I liked her sleeping with other men, and that in the end, I'd always agree to it. What if she discovered the same about chastity cages? It seemed more likely she'd just think it was stupid, which would make me feel even more embarrassed about it. But what if she took to it? What if she took to it AND she thought it was pathetic and laughable?

I tried it on one night when Emily was having sex – I think the first time I did that, it was when she had a date with this other guy she saw a few times. I sat at home alone, in my cage, which Emily still didn’t know about. Again, I liked it but didn’t like it. I remember looking at myself in the mirror with it and feeling extremely silly and pathetic. Especially having locked my own self up like that. I felt embarrassed to be somehow so persistently drawn to this embarrassing thing to be engaging in my own little private try-on sessions with it. Looking at myself in the mirror! And it made my penis look extra small.

The main thing, though, was that I knew I could just take it off when I wanted. And I think it did end up taking it off - maybe close to the end of the evening, but I didn’t want Emily to come home and discover it somehow. That experience taught me that it was never going to actually mean anything as long as it was my own private thing. For it to hit me in the gut, it had to be real. It had to be something Emily was involved with. It had to be involuntary. At least a little bit involuntary. At least for a short time.

(And that, by the way, makes me realize that around the same time, I was experiencing this sense of *involuntariness* of being a cuckold – maybe I couldn’t name it then – I’m realizing things even just as I write about all this – but that was definitely it. Emily was fucking Josh as just a fact of life, not because it was my idea for her to have sex with someone, not because I jerked off thinking about these things, and not because she was checking with me and making sure I was in the mood for my little kink every time. She was fucking Josh because she wanted to fuck Josh because he was fucking her like no one else ever had, and she admired and cared about him – maybe even loved him, at least on some level – and that was going to keep happening as surely as the world would keep turning. I couldn’t ever take it back – I was a cuck – for real, in real life – call it what you want, voluntary or involuntary – it was what it was. I was already in a cuck cage. Plastic device or not.)

Will write more soon!

[Jeremie11231]

Wow, yeah - even after just finishing writing all that -- I keep thinking about this *involuntary* thing -- like, that's what some part of me was craving even 10-12 years ago, before I ever even uttered a word about these fantasies to anyone. That's the thing that scared me and pulled me over the edge and made me cum. Wanting it to be real, wanting it not to be just a fantasy, wanting it not to be something I could just stop thinking about when I wanted to. Scary, and yet I was like a moth to a flame. And having a bunch of sexy talk with Emily in bed and then making a plan to meet a carefully chosen guy in a hotel for a very well-planned cuck scene session (which is what we did 10 years ago) -- that just wasn't *real* enough. It was so voluntary. So contained in the box of "Emily and I think this is sexy and fun and we're going to do this for kicks". And sure enough, we did it, and we turned it off like a faucet. It had no life of its own. What makes things real -- like her relationship with Josh -- what makes it feel like I'm locked into it, like it's involuntary, is all the other stuff. The actual relationship they have. The fact that he is an actual, cool person in the world, who has his own needs and desires. Her feelings for him. The fact of her realizing that she can take power and freedom she probably never dreamed I would be okay with, and see that I still just sat there, stunned and compliant -- or even better -- that I was even *more* attentive to her, more agreeable, cooperative, helpful around the house. Like a spell had been cast over me by something she used to think wasn't even worth hoping for -- her having sex with who she wanted, when she wanted. I was like a fly caught in a spider web. I was getting what I wished for -- even though I had never really realized what exactly it was I had been wishing for... Maybe if I *had* known, I would have stopped and run in the other direction. Or maybe not. Maybe our minds are merciful to us by shielding us from the truth of the path we're walking, because the only way we'll keep walking is if we can't see the reality of what is happening. But something in us knows it is right for us -- that we're walking toward where we belong, where we need to be, even if we still don't know why we need to be there.

Just thinking/writing out loud -- will cont the account of events asap...

[safira]

you rock.
thank you for sharing this.

[wittol]

Wow. Kinda brilliant.

[avid fan]

Maybe our minds are merciful to us by shielding us from the truth of the path we're walking, because the only way we'll keep walking is if we can't see the reality of what is happening. But something in us knows it is right for us -- that we're walking toward where we belong, where we need to be, even if we still don't know why we need to be there.

That's poetry... beautiful.

Very interested to hear how you presumably bring the chastity device up with your wife... out of interest, the side sessions you arrange at hotels etc...is this purely a wife sharing deal, or are you (and by implication your wife) fully into the 'classic' cuckold theme humiliation etc when you were orchestrating these scenarios?

[elina]

Dear Jeremie

Thank you so much for sharing. I can fully well understand how you feel that writing this is helping you to better understand, (and maybe to better accept?), yous situation.

It resonates a lot with me, and I would suspect a lot of other people on this site.

To me inparticular; your concept of "the involuntay thing".
I have struggled since puberty to accept that I am a submissive, that I really want the Lady i Love to dominate me and cuckold me.
I have told Her, but (as opposed to Emily) She has never really embraced it.
Some years ago She appeared to be, expressing Her entitlement to cuckold me and enslave me. But then She had regrets, and told me that this lifestyle was not compatible with having two small childre to raise, which we did at the time. I can understand and fully accept that and stopped trying to convince Her at that point.

But fundamentally, to me what I wanted to was to experience being taken; being forced to submit.
Maybe the fact that Emily has discovered Her experience of the feelings that Josh has a high sex drive and wants to fuck Her, so She is not entitled to deny that to him, is in a similar sense submitting to Her lover and actually wants to feel that this superior Lover just wants Her so much and She just needst to submit to him also means that Emily somehow realizes that you also are in need of being told what to do and what She expects; and that this is what you need to keep accepting that She will stay with Josh and allow him to take Her whenever He wants?

I am looking forward to hear more about your process with being locked in Chastity ends up. My Wife kept me locked in a steel-chastity cage for weeks on end. In my opinion, there is nothing like this with respect to establishing the proper love-bonding between a Cuckoldress and Her cuck than the Cuck willingly accepting for his belowed cuckoldress to own his sexual life, and for The Lady to acknowledge that, take control and enjoy the feeling of being able to control who She has sex with and when, while keeping Her devoted loving cuck-husband chaste and longing to please Her.

Looking forward to you next installment and eventually to learn where you are today.

Sincerely
elina
(Submissive male)

[Jeremie11231]

That's poetry... beautiful.

Very interested to hear how you presumably bring the chastity device up with your wife... out of interest, the side sessions you arrange at hotels etc...is this purely a wife sharing deal, or are you (and by implication your wife) fully into the 'classic' cuckold theme humiliation etc when you were orchestrating these scenarios?

Hi - thanks!
So, there was only ever just one instance of a hotel scenario, and that was 10 years ago - our isolated foray into making a cuckold scenario come true in real life. That was after I came out with some fantasies, she to my surprise responded eagerly to them, we went online and found someone who was himself really into exactly that kind of situation, and we met up with him twice -- and I do plan to write about that whole story some time because it was wild. We then just dropped the cuckolding thing for 8 years.

But the point I was making above was that all that was very 'staged' and 'contained' relative to what's been going on recently. Because it was all very role-play and focused on a sexual encounter. Finding a guy online, making arrangements, and meeting in a hotel with the husband watching -- that is relatively 'safe' and voluntary because there's not a bigger context or attachment going on, and you can just stop immediately, just drop the whole thing. Which is what we did.

But when there is attachment and relationship and something ongoing, and at your house -- it's way different.

To answer your other question, about whether we've been into the full classic cuckold dynamic with humiliation -- the answer is *yes*, but I may not have fully known or accepted that early on. Early on, I knew I got strangely turned on by imagining such things, but all I was actually willing to own or sign onto in real life was a scenario with the simple fact of Emily having sex with another man.

There was a book I read wayy back then, before I even admitted to Emily that anything like this turned me on or could be on the table -- it was a very vanilla book that told a story about a wife starting a sexual relationship with this other man. *Just Say What's On Your Mind* by E.M. Hillwood. One way that I 'came out' to Emily was to share the book with her, without saying much about it. She read it, and found it really hot, and that made me feel comfortable enough to come out and say that I thought about it a lot.

[Jeremie11231]

To me inparticular; your concept of "the involuntay thing".
I have struggled since puberty to accept that I am a submissive, that I really want the Lady i Love to dominate me and cuckold me.

But fundamentally, to me what I wanted to was to experience being taken; being forced to submit.
Maybe the fact that Emily has discovered Her experience of the feelings that Josh has a high sex drive and wants to fuck Her, so She is not entitled to deny that to him, is in a similar sense submitting to Her lover and actually wants to feel that this superior Lover just wants Her so much and She just needst to submit to him also means that Emily somehow realizes that you also are in need of being told what to do and what She expects; and that this is what you need to keep accepting that She will stay with Josh and allow him to take Her whenever He wants?

Hi Elina - thanks!!
Yes - I think submissiveness is a hard thing for a man to admit or accept.
It's just in the past couple of years that I've been able to name it and say it.
One ingredient to experiencing submission is that 'involuntary' part of the situation.
One way to make something involuntary is for Emily (or another woman) to actively adopt a dominant role and impose things on me. Emily (or any other woman who is mostly submissive themselves) may or may not really be into that, or want to take on that role, which requires some attention and energy.
What I'm seeing and writing about above is that there is another way that the situation can make me submit, without Emily even having to "be dominant" -- the situation itself is what dominates, because it gains its own momentum, and can't be stopped very easily. What gives it that momentum is the actual relationship between Emily and Josh (or others), and the movement into a new status quo where Emily enjoys a level of freedom and autonomy that she would not and will not just give up. Once tasted, no going back. And Emily's needs. And Josh's needs. All of that has the effect of 'locking in' the situation, and putting me in a submissive position of having to accept it. And when something *must* be accepted, it unlocks a lot of creativity in figuring out how to make it acceptable, make it bearable, even make it very enjoyable. So the stage I'm describing now is that process of working that out -- what is it that is going to make this work? I think for different people that can be a lot of different things. And I'm getting into what's emerged for me and us!

[Barnabyshubby]

Hi Jeremie, thanks for sharing you story. I am going through something similar right now. I never thought I would tell anyone about my fantasies but shared it with my wife 2 years ago. She has had sex with maybe 6 or 7 guys in that time. Most of them were one night stands but few that were longer. Anyways, on our vacation in Europe few weeks ago, she matched with a guy on tinder who turned out to be basically her dream lover. While my wife has always been sexual, she didn't seem to enjoy the act as much as the spontaneity or novelty of it. This all changed with this guy. They saw each 5 night of our 10 days vacation. He basically fucked her 2-3 times each night. I got to hear them from next door a few times. It was the most erotic movement of my life. I have never seen my wife turned on so much or crave sex as much.

I have been going through all the feelings you have been describing. She already wants to go back and visit him..likely alone. I am not sure I could handle a week alone at home while she was out having sex marathon in France. I am not worried about my marriage but they are both sort of obsessed with each which is a bit trippy to experience. My wife has reassured me that she partly has been able to enjoy this because she knows she has me. She also acted much more dominantly in the week they were having sex. Things have been calmer since we got back they talk basically everyday and want to arrange something soon so the spark doesn't die out.

Not to hijack your thread but I am just curious how you deal on with negative emotions like jealousy or feeling left out? I am happy that my wife and both get to fulfill our fantasies but the feeling of being out of control can be difficult to manage

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum Barnabyshubby. New toys are fun to play with but the new can wear off quickly. If she goes alone it could be the sudden decline with familiarity. Keep it to occassional and she will go wild every time.

[scarfolamew]

Really enjoying the introspection and reflections in this thread. Extraordinarily excited for OP to share more of his thoughts and adventures.

Jeremie, I don't want to bombard you with questions, but I was quite intrigued by the suggestion that you and Emily have begun using the moment of release as an opportunity to push past boundaries and establish new normals. Hoping we will hear more detail about this as you continue to elucidate