I do agree there's also a 3rd person to be considered but I also agree that first me and my wife need to have a talk about what we both separately think should be the way to go forward. Just as 2inUPMichigan said I have to hear from her what she wants, after all she's the key person in this triangle. Depending on what she wants she has to have a conversation with her boyfriend. And finally we'll have to see who still fits into the picture. These are hard but much needed conversations.FNQLivin wrote: ↑Thu Sep 28, 2023 3:20 pmPerhaps a poor choice of words on my part.
I took him saying he wants more and if she can't give it, that he will move on, as a demand, as in, I want you to marry me, be my wife and if you can't do that, then I will need to leave on move on with my life.
She doesn't want to lose him. She has a deep emotional and sexual connection with him, he has after all fathered a child with her. He entered the relationship as a third and must have been aware of what the situation was. After 8yrs he wants more. I can totally understand his needs and why he wants that. It's not that he's entitled, but he's put MC's wife in a situation where she has to chose and she doesn't want to.
The third is a real person, with real emotions and real needs. Being the 3rd to a couple, especially when you have a kid with them, must be incredibly hard. It's why fantasy should sometimes stay that way, or pick your partners very carefully.
My other point was how some are saying it's something that MC and his wife need to sort out, as though the 3rd doesn't have a say. My point is that MC's wife clearly is conflicted and that MC may not be the preferred long term partner and the decision being made might be being made by him and his wife and is instead something that his wife and the 3rd are making.
And to be clear I don't blame him for wanting my wife. I think she's an amazing woman and I'm very lucky to have her, I'm sure he feels the same way about her. Just as I have certain needs also he has certain needs and there's nothing wrong with that. But we came at a point that both are needs are not full filled any more so hard decisions has to be made.
Maybe it's good to explain how the situation is at the moment. We're married for 10 years and know each other from since we're in high school, so a very long time. To the outside world we have two kids together but as you already know the youngest is actually from her boyfriend. We're still affectionate towards one another: kissing, hugging etc I would call are relationship a loving one. But we have very little sex, since we opened up are marriage she discovered my bed performance was somehow the worst possible. Every guy she had sex with outperformed me with ease so she started to have less and less interest in sex with me. Now sex between us is more something for special occasions.
One of the guys she met early on when we opened our relationship is her boyfriend. In the beginning she had with sex with more than one man but over time she got more and more focused on her boyfriend. Now and then she still had a fling with another guy but it was very limited and it never gave her the satisfaction she got from him. He made her body experience things she had never experienced with any one else. After about two years into our open relationship we wanted a second child. He was aware she wasn't on birth control at the time and was fine with it, so were we. In the end he was the one who knocked her up. We all agreed before hand that if that was to happen, he would not claim paternity and me and my wife would raise the child as our own, which we still do with great care. I know a lot of people disagree on this but it was our choice. But of course making a child together creates a deeper connection and their relationship became more and more serious. And we can say be now they're also in love with each other. Until now, the point he wants more than what a married woman can give him. We tried to meet his needs but it wasn't enough for him.
To be honest, at this point I find it hard to say which road she wants to choose. Does she want the stable loving family or the passionate relationship? These are difficult decisions and only she has the answers. Maybe even for her it might be hard to see the answer because choosing is also losing.