Lifelong cuck?

[SailorGuy]

In my mid-sixties now, and my wife and I have amicably separated. After years of hotwifing me with an Alpha Stud she actually moved in with a quiet older man. She had enough of me and her lover! Because there is NO sexual energy for me with her new relationship I can't enjoy the great intense masturbatory sex I had while she with with her former stud.
But I look back all the way to my first girlfriend and realize that in every romantic situation I found myself in I always got my highest sexual thrills when each one of them cheated on me. Every time. A couple of girls I went out with in college had brief lesbian affairs; this drove me crazy with lust for them. My first fiancee left me for a rich well-hung guy when we were together in law school. Aside from feeling hurt, I was also deeply aroused and masturbated furiously thinking about her with him.
I eventually settled down with a vanilla girl, with whom sex was a bore. She was attractive enough, just no sexual vibe about her. But within two years of being with her I persuaded her to make love to a lesbian coworker who had the hots for her. Man, it was stunning to see my reserved vanilla girlfriend lose herself making love to this hot lesbian. And the hottest thing about it was them ignoring me, completely lost in each other. I was allowed to be there, but that's all.
The very next morning I proposed to my girlfriend. She had what it takes!
But I never heard of the word "cuckold" or hotwife. It was just a very personal thing for me.
Throughout of long marriage I did what I could to get her to have sex with others again, finally concluding with her long affair with her stud.
And it was from that affair where I learned about cock size and satisfying a woman. Her lover was really hung - easily twice the length and girth of mine. Nine or ten inches? Phenomenal. And my slender "vanilla" wife loved it. I had always been gentle with her, favoring going down on her as long as she'd let me. But she'd always pull me up to enter her. I did the best I could with my five inches, but always came within a minute or two. Bless her, she never said anything, but when she discovered what a real man could do for her she cut me off altogether. And I found that arousing!
And so my sex life became 100% masturbation - on my own when she was at her lover's house, or while she lay next to me in bed and told me stories of her and her lover together. My orgasms were the best in my life!
Well all that is over. But now I have a new girlfriend and the same dynamic is happening. I love going down on her, and she does have orgasms that way. But I know I disappoint her otherwise. We don't have the intimacy built up yet to talk about things, but I secretly hope she will cheat on me with a man who can deeply fuck her. Then I hope she can tell me, and I will tell her that's it's okay with me. Not sure how she'd take that, but that is my honest view of the matter.
Really, that's who I am, and always have been.

[Maddie_Hippychick]

Thanks for the update. I was wondering what had happened to you. In some of your last posts, I definitely got the impression that she was spending less and less time with you. I'm sorry that your marriage ended like that. If I remember correctly, you had adult children together. I guess it's good that the split was amicable. At least you can coexist at family functions without any real animosity.

For what it's worth, I'd love to hear more details about how the relationship with alpha stud fell apart. My intuition was telling me that she was going to divorce you and marry him, even though at one point you said that she told you she could never be with him full-time. So much for my intuition. Did you ever have hope that when she left him she would come back to you?

Do you have much of a relationship with her now? Do you still talk regularly? Does she still love you, but more like a sibling, or has she lost all respect for you over the fetish? What is her new man like, other than quiet and older? Does she have a monogamous, vanilla sex life with him?

[Guhunkadorn]

Thanks for update.

Ditto previous post.

Kudos to your ex for finding a man to make her happy. Sadly, I know a number of good looking and nice women in their 50's who are single - divorced - and can't seem to find decent men to settle with.

Your hot-tub story is etched into my mind.

Good luck.

[Long Lurker 34]

SG - Sorry to learn about your split, forget the sex aspect, anything such as that is a terrible lose. On the other hand it's good to know you have landed on your feet with someone else.
Just wondering if you have any idea how things are with your Ex and her new guy? In that she clearly had been quite active, are the two of them? Or has she tuned things right down? You said "older guy", how much?

[Cdncuck]

I think many of us in long term cuckold relationships could say it was a life long thing. The first time I became aware of what I considered "my strange feelings, was in grade 3. I'm in my 70s now and my wife has been cuckolding me since we were dating.

[SailorGuy]

SG - Sorry to learn about your split, forget the sex aspect, anything such as that is a terrible lose. On the other hand it's good to know you have landed on your feet with someone else.
Just wondering if you have any idea how things are with your Ex and her new guy? In that she clearly had been quite active, are the two of them? Or has she tuned things right down? You said "older guy", how much?

Interestingly they are not all that sexual ( or so she has told me, and I have no reason to disbelieve her about this ). For one thing, her now "boyfriend" is almost 75 years old ( she is 62 ). I have met him; benign low-key guy, frankly not at all attractive.
I think my wife went a bit out of her comfort zone when she married me. I'm not really very edgy, though in her eyes I was. Then the whole hotwife thing: she was never comfortable with it, not comfortable with feeling lust for someone. Oh she did indeed enjoy the physical sex with that guy for years, just didn't love him or care to get more involved. When the new guy fell into her life it just felt like a nice safe harbor ( he is also pretty wealthy; I'm sure that doesn't hurt his chances ). A guy more custom tailored to her personality.
The woman I've connected with is also more custom tailored to my personality type. Interesting this happened to both my wife and myself. The only difference in our respective new relationships is my wife moved in with her guy and they will get married before the ink is dry on our divorce papers, whereas my new girlfriend wants nothing to do with marriage ever again, so horrible was hers. She is a lot of fun, we have great chemistry. But she is adamant about this. Very strong personality.
Well I am learning a lot living on my own after almost 40 years of marriage and raising a family. Interestingly, my wife has never lived on her own, not even for a day. She was living with her boyfriend when I showed up in her life and moved in with me the very next day. And now she was with me last year for the last day on August 31st, and living with her new guy September 1st.
While I don't want to live alone the rest of my life I must admit I've been growing a lot this past year. Learning to be my own best friend, as the saying goes. Not a bad foundation for a good future life!

[SailorGuy]

I think many of us in long term cuckold relationships could say it was a life long thing. The first time I became aware of what I considered "my strange feelings, was in grade 3. I'm in my 70s now and my wife has been cuckolding me since we were dating.

I wish I had known about cuckolding that far back! Definitely who I am. I have read here of guys who arrange to be cuckolded at their own weddings. I would have loved that. It almost happened in fact: the lesbian friend of ours who my then-girlfriend slept with ( at my eager request ) was at our wedding, and I wanted her to come to our "honeymoon suite" the night of our wedding. She was more than willing, but my new bride thought that was just too weird for the occasion. It would have been poetic as well as wonderful: it was their one-night affair that inspired me to ask my girl to marry me in the first place. Like I said, I hadn't ever heard of cuckolding or hotwifing back then, just following very powerful urges in my soul.
When that night happened there was a magical buzz in the air. The three of us were dining at our apartment. I already knew the lesbian friend was hot for my girl. I had had a three-way with two girls in college - at that point the hottest sexual thing ever to happen to me. I had talked to my girlfriend about having a three-way with this lesbian friend, but she had demurred, so sexually conservative she was. But I just dropped the bomb as we finished dinner ( and a couple of bottles of wine among the three of us ). I asked the friend if she would spend the night with us. She smiled and said Yes! We both looked at my girlfriend; she hesitated, then said Okay. Wow! Now what? Uncharted territory!
To my amazement the two women stood up from the table and embraced, passionately. And while I remained seated and in awe they walked out of they dining room hand-in-hand down the hall and into the bedroom. And shut the door! My heart pounded in my throat, my mouth went sahara-dry, and my cock just about exploded in my pants. THIS wasn't what I had in mind - or was it??
In our small apartment it was impossible not to hear the bed squeaking and the moaning and gasping coming from the bedroom. It was exciting as hell to be excluded from this - what a shock to me! After an eternity of this bliss ( probably no more than ten or fifteen minutes ) I tiptoed back to the bedroom door and opened it. There were those two lovely women, wrapped in a 69. My conservative girlfriend looked like a seasoned lesbian. She was going wild on her friend. I remember how thrilled she appeared to be with her friend's large breasts. She herself was perfectly flat-chested; now she was seeing and squeezing and kissing breasts for the first time. ( And coincidentally her big-breasted friend was powerfully attracted to my girlfriend's flat chest.They were both going wild on each other's chest. )
I stood and stared for a good while, then when they were exhausted my girlfriend looked up and gestured for me to join them. The lesbian had previously told me she was only interested in my girlfriend, so there was no question of joining them both. But I happily slid in next to my girlfriend, who eagerly mounted me and went for a ride. The lesbian watched us and rubbed my girlfriend's chest while she rode me. How I managed not to come in three seconds amazed me. I think I lasted all of two minutes before exploding into my future wife's well-loved and lubricated vagina.
And the next morning, after our friend had gone home, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. No hesitation on her part: YES!

[Long Lurker 34]

SG - Sorry to learn about your split, forget the sex aspect, anything such as that is a terrible lose. On the other hand it's good to know you have landed on your feet with someone else.
Just wondering if you have any idea how things are with your Ex and her new guy? In that she clearly had been quite active, are the two of them? Or has she tuned things right down? You said "older guy", how much?

Interestingly they are not all that sexual ( or so she has told me, and I have no reason to disbelieve her about this ). For one thing, her now "boyfriend" is almost 75 years old ( she is 62 ). I have met him; benign low-key guy, frankly not at all attractive.
I think my wife went a bit out of her comfort zone when she married me. I'm not really very edgy, though in her eyes I was. Then the whole hotwife thing: she was never comfortable with it, not comfortable with feeling lust for someone. Oh she did indeed enjoy the physical sex with that guy for years, just didn't love him or care to get more involved. When the new guy fell into her life it just felt like a nice safe harbor ( he is also pretty wealthy; I'm sure that doesn't hurt his chances ). A guy more custom tailored to her personality.
The woman I've connected with is also more custom tailored to my personality type. Interesting this happened to both my wife and myself. The only difference in our respective new relationships is my wife moved in with her guy and they will get married before the ink is dry on our divorce papers, whereas my new girlfriend wants nothing to do with marriage ever again, so horrible was hers. She is a lot of fun, we have great chemistry. But she is adamant about this. Very strong personality.
Well I am learning a lot living on my own after almost 40 years of marriage and raising a family. Interestingly, my wife has never lived on her own, not even for a day. She was living with her boyfriend when I showed up in her life and moved in with me the very next day. And now she was with me last year for the last day on August 31st, and living with her new guy September 1st.
While I don't want to live alone the rest of my life I must admit I've been growing a lot this past year. Learning to be my own best friend, as the saying goes. Not a bad foundation for a good future life!

SG - Well if it's one thing that can be said about your Ex, it's that she can't be called indecisive.

[Caribwaters]

I have been a cuck since turning 27 when after discovering my wife had been in months long affair at work with her older boss, I allowed her working there and to continue their relationship, as long there was no more deception and she shared all the details with me. Our "arrangement" came after a number of long, in depth discussions.

Years earlier when we were seriously dating, one of my frat brothers called her house and asked if she would go out on a date. I was away at school at the time. She turned him down and later told me about his call. I knew that I was supposed to be jealous, but I had a strange feeling that I didn't understand. The idea of another man (my friend) having strong enough feelings for my girlfriend that he would call and ask her out, once I absorbed it, I found the idea attractive. Could not tell my girlfriend about these "strange feelings", because I didn't think they were normal. During our engagement another guy approached her to go out with him and upon being told that feeling reoccurred. After we married in our very early 20s there were a couple of other guys that "hit" on her, same feeling. Fantasized continuously about what might happen if she accepted an invite to go out with some other guy, but could not at the time encourage her, as real men were supposed to be very jealous. Was not until years later I started to learn about cuckolding.

After the agreement concerning her 1st lover there were about 6 more during our marriage, a couple of them proved to be years term relationships. We are still together now for over 50 years, so this arrangement had no negative impact on our relationship. But her experiences with other men taught her a lot about what good sexual technique really is and that "size does make a difference". Used to be quite a shy girl/woman, but being intimate with various men has given her a strong sense of confidence and fine tuned her skill at manipulating. Also highlighted my sexual deficiencies, that she would never have know without the experience with her lovers.

[Cdncuck]

I think many of us in long term cuckold relationships could say it was a life long thing. The first time I became aware of what I considered "my strange feelings, was in grade 3. I'm in my 70s now and my wife has been cuckolding me since we were dating.

I wish I had known about cuckolding that far back! Definitely who I am. I have read here of guys who arrange to be cuckolded at their own weddings. I would have loved that. It almost happened in fact: the lesbian friend of ours who my then-girlfriend slept with ( at my eager request ) was at our wedding, and I wanted her to come to our "honeymoon suite" the night of our wedding. She was more than willing, but my new bride thought that was just too weird for the occasion. It would have been poetic as well as wonderful: it was their one-night affair that inspired me to ask my girl to marry me in the first place. Like I said, I hadn't ever heard of cuckolding or hotwifing back then, just following very powerful urges in my soul.
When that night happened there was a magical buzz in the air. The three of us were dining at our apartment. I already knew the lesbian friend was hot for my girl. I had had a three-way with two girls in college - at that point the hottest sexual thing ever to happen to me. I had talked to my girlfriend about having a three-way with this lesbian friend, but she had demurred, so sexually conservative she was. But I just dropped the bomb as we finished dinner ( and a couple of bottles of wine among the three of us ). I asked the friend if she would spend the night with us. She smiled and said Yes! We both looked at my girlfriend; she hesitated, then said Okay. Wow! Now what? Uncharted territory!
To my amazement the two women stood up from the table and embraced, passionately. And while I remained seated and in awe they walked out of they dining room hand-in-hand down the hall and into the bedroom. And shut the door! My heart pounded in my throat, my mouth went sahara-dry, and my cock just about exploded in my pants. THIS wasn't what I had in mind - or was it??
In our small apartment it was impossible not to hear the bed squeaking and the moaning and gasping coming from the bedroom. It was exciting as hell to be excluded from this - what a shock to me! After an eternity of this bliss ( probably no more than ten or fifteen minutes ) I tiptoed back to the bedroom door and opened it. There were those two lovely women, wrapped in a 69. My conservative girlfriend looked like a seasoned lesbian. She was going wild on her friend. I remember how thrilled she appeared to be with her friend's large breasts. She herself was perfectly flat-chested; now she was seeing and squeezing and kissing breasts for the first time. ( And coincidentally her big-breasted friend was powerfully attracted to my girlfriend's flat chest.They were both going wild on each other's chest. )
I stood and stared for a good while, then when they were exhausted my girlfriend looked up and gestured for me to join them. The lesbian had previously told me she was only interested in my girlfriend, so there was no question of joining them both. But I happily slid in next to my girlfriend, who eagerly mounted me and went for a ride. The lesbian watched us and rubbed my girlfriend's chest while she rode me. How I managed not to come in three seconds amazed me. I think I lasted all of two minutes before exploding into my future wife's well-loved and lubricated vagina.
And the next morning, after our friend had gone home, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. No hesitation on her part: YES!

I didn't know those were cuckold feelings. I just experienced what seemed to be very strange feelings. It didn't occur to me there was a sexual connection until my mid teens. I never talked about those feelings. I thought there was something wrong with me.

[Cuckoldguy21]

Hi SailorGuy,

So sorry to see that your marriage brook up. I've followed your stories over the years as I could understand where you were coming from. Good to see that you are not alone. No man should be. There are too many good, lonely women out there. Good luck my friend.
CuckoldGuy