My fiancé was hit up by a guy she really had a thing for on Wednesday. We’ve been at it trying to find a sustainable way for her and I to become her nonsexual partner. After a lot of fits and starts over the last year, she met someone about two months ago or more that she really connected with and genuinely likes and has all the lights flashing. Tall, successful, older, accomplished, alpha, great body, super well endowed significantly larger than me (a real mans cock), cool guy. I think he’s really into her because she and lets call him Chase met in person for the first time after texting for a couple months in person. I could tell before they even met how into him she was. When they met that saturday afternoon for coffee two months ago, they ended up going to his place to see what he was working on (he’s in film) and the rest is history. I don’t think they wasted anytime. He lifted her up on the kitchen island and started making out with her. She was puddy in her hands as he took complete control. He fucked her all night. She was with him about 6 hours before I heard from her again. She loved it. Said no ones ever fucked her like that and told me touched her places I’ll never be able. Even after they were done, he needed to bed her over the bed one more time and bite her legs and eat her pussy from behind. He is her type, she likes to be treated like a lady, she wants to feel wanted by someone more alpha that deserve exclusivity to her body. After the first time she stopped having sex with me and wanted to see him again as soon as she could. It ended up working out for her to see him a second time a week later. I was getting cold feet and worried, not trusting her, and really worried. I encouraged and told her I support whatever she decided but she sensed my apprehension and decided to cacel on him at the last minute. She made me swear and for us to swear to one another that we would never bring it up again after trying to find that perfect guy she would do it with and then canceling. she was genuinely into him and he was her. so it impacted her. It was a good experience nonetheless bc it showed me how rock solid her and ai are and this was truly a loving her and I could make together if I had been ready. After she canceled he texted her a picture of the banana bread he made for the two of then to have together when she arrived to kick off off what could have ended up being the rest of the weekend together in bed. That was the last time they interacted. She told him that her I were not ready and were going to focus on our relationship instead.Anyway fast forward 2 months and he reaches out. Her and I have been away most of the summer at the beach but live in the city during the year. we have been discussing and feeling fully ready for both of us to fully commit after all the trials and tribulations. we have been able to step back and come full circle, fully trusting one another, and seeing the benefits of benefits of her finding a superior mate and sexual partner as I move to become a gentler version of myself, being present, and manifesting our more sustainable reality.
The timing of him reaching out was the universe. Ever since they’ve connected its felt like something that needs to happen. Especially to me. I’m older and you know it when you see it. To not submit and accept would be disrupting providence. Can’t hide from the truth.
I supported her in seeing him and for the two of us to use this as an opportunity to make good on what we’ve been circling the hoop on for over a year now. She agreed timing is right and game me like 10 things I hadn’t even thought up.
We decided it would be best for her to head back to the city tonight to see him and quite possibly spend the entire weekend with him. She is on her way there now.
I really supported her and this as she was leaving and will probably see her again Monday. I’m going to give her a lot of space. My fiancé and I agree reality is so much easier to manage than fantasy and we’re eager for everything to become real, which takes a scary level of commitment, but one we’re finally both ready and dedicated to seeing through.
I got a little whiny about possibly getting bored and of course I’d rather hangout with you tonight and she firmly told me: you are not cutting it sexually, I’m been thinking about Chase all day, I really need to get fucked like I deserve tonight and I’m not interested in changing that. you made your bed, you have talked me into it, and I’m saying I want this now.
I told her I support her and how excited I was for her.
Anyway I was going to tell her something to the effect of
Let me know when you head to see him so I text you some warn wishes and words of affirmation. And after that, don’t worry about checking in with me. I know he’ll take care of you when you two are together. thats you and Chase’s sacred time. I’ll hear from you when you guys want me to. xo
what do you guys think? too much? show her with actions not words or good text and back up w action ofc?
what should i do and be remembering as she builds a bond w him so I don’t disrupt this critical step toward being pussyfree and accepting they deserve to have space and we work better when I’m a non sexual partner and move toward being a cheerleader to them both, supporting, and affirming through my actions and words. She is 100% going to replace me if ai let her. She wants this. I do too.
she’s a ten btw. early 20s, 5,2 maybe 105 lbs. brunnette. smart as heck. decisive while also so loving, thoughtful, kind.