From Dead Bedroom

[ricinatl]

Have any couples gone from a "dead bedroom" or sexless marriage into a cuckold situation?

What caused the sexless marriage and for how long?

How did it turn cuckold?

[pixwellguy]

Wow. I'd say that would be almost impossible. The most important component for any one of these lifestyles is open, honest communication between husband and wife. And lots of it. A "dead bedroom" sexless marriage would seem to me to indicate very serious communication issues (unless there are medical or other physical issues involved).

[Flint]

I think my hopes to reach a cuckold situation are therefore unlikely; my bedroom has been a dead one for a very long time.

[hwfanatic]

I think my hopes to reach a cuckold situation are therefore unlikely; my bedroom has been a dead one for a very long time.

So, what led to the dead bed, in your view?

[Flint]

I think my hopes to reach a cuckold situation are therefore unlikely; my bedroom has been a dead one for a very long time.

So, what led to the dead bed, in your view?

I don't know, she just seemed to go off me over the last few years. Maybe after children? She certainly no longer loves me the same as she used to. I thought if she could experience another guy, it might fire her up again, but she isn;t even interested in that!

[MartasBoy]

Have any couples gone from a "dead bedroom" or sexless marriage into a cuckold situation?

What caused the sexless marriage and for how long?

How did it turn cuckold?

Sexual arousal and libido is largely a product of hormones in the brain. It is so strong of a drive in our teens and twenties, that we become convinced that it is a part of our core being. But once the hormones abate with age, the libido can diminish or even cease to exist. This particularly happens to women after childbirth and menopause.

For women, they often stop experiencing dilation and lubrication when they no longer have the hormonal drive. Intercourse becomes painful, trying to put a fully erect penis in a closed, dry vagina.

Their sex drive is no longer needed because their procreative years are over. Once the hormones stop, libido just ends. And trying to get yourself interested in sex, when the hormonal drive has ended, is a lot like trying to make yourself eat a second Thanksgiving meal at your in-laws, after you just had a full dinner at your parents house.

[hwfanatic]

I think my hopes to reach a cuckold situation are therefore unlikely; my bedroom has been a dead one for a very long time.

So, what led to the dead bed, in your view?

I don't know, she just seemed to go off me over the last few years. Maybe after children? She certainly no longer loves me the same as she used to. I thought if she could experience another guy, it might fire her up again, but she isn;t even interested in that!

Hate that for you. Hopefully one day she’ll be able to candidly express what’s really bothering her and what would make her happy again.

[Long Lurker 34]

I think my hopes to reach a cuckold situation are therefore unlikely; my bedroom has been a dead one for a very long time.

So, what led to the dead bed, in your view?

I don't know, she just seemed to go off me over the last few years. Maybe after children? She certainly no longer loves me the same as she used to. I thought if she could experience another guy, it might fire her up again, but she isn;t even interested in that!

F - Could be hormonal or who knows maybe she's being "satisfied" when not at home.

[jesseejames29]

I'll echo what most have said here, you need to have good communication and a healthy sex life for this to be successful. If you aren't having sex with her she probably feels as though she isn't sexy regardless of how she may look. Intimacy is an important aspect of marriage, I would talk to her about your lack of having a sex life and suggest counseling if that doesn't work.

[iloanmywife]

Have any couples gone from a "dead bedroom" or sexless marriage into a cuckold situation?

What caused the sexless marriage and for how long?

How did it turn cuckold?

Swinging in general and cuckolding specifically is a terrible idea if you're not in a healthy place in your marriage, sexually or otherwise. Most couples who engage in it will probably confirm that they started hotwife/cuckold play because their own sex life was so fantastic that they decided to turn it up to eleven.

Some good advice in this thread. After my wife gave birth to our first child she went through a period of just not feeling it. There was a long phase of "dead bedroom," as you call it, which isn't unusual. I grew frustrated, albeit selfishly. Somewhere along the way I figured out that helping more around the house was the single most effective form of foreplay. She was overwhelmed and anything I could do to take things off of her shoulders meant more time for us. Forget about vibrators, just do the dishes. Maybe it's not that simple, but I do think that what happens in the bedroom is downstream of what happens in the kitchen.

There's light at the end of your tunnel, if you're willing to work on yourselves. We went through that period of dead bedroom and within a few short years began a sex life beyond the wildest fantasies of most wannabes. But I wouldn't start from the perspective of your ideal cuckold fantasy. Instead, start with talking to her about how she's feeling. Or just talking to her about anything. That conversation should have nothing to do with sex, which you can put out of your mind for now. I might be oversimplifying this, but I've found that if you REALLY talk to her, eventually she's going to want to fuck you.

[submissivedanny]

I didn't have sex with my wife because I have such a small dick I could hardly get it in her so eventually with my encouragement she found a boy friend to fuck her.

[Cookiescream]

Have any couples gone from a "dead bedroom" or sexless marriage into a cuckold situation?

What caused the sexless marriage and for how long?

How did it turn cuckold?

Yep, got divorced and remarried!

[Flint]

I think my hopes to reach a cuckold situation are therefore unlikely; my bedroom has been a dead one for a very long time.

So, what led to the dead bed, in your view?

I don't know, she just seemed to go off me over the last few years. Maybe after children? She certainly no longer loves me the same as she used to. I thought if she could experience another guy, it might fire her up again, but she isn;t even interested in that!

F - Could be hormonal or who knows maybe she's being "satisfied" when not at home.

No, I did wonder about that, but knowing her as well as I do (sounds peculiar with what I've been saying!), she would make way more effort if she were seeing someone else; there is definitely no evidence to suspect that she is. I have often wished that were the case, because at least I would know that she has not lost interest in sex; there would be more hope.

[Flint]

I think my hopes to reach a cuckold situation are therefore unlikely; my bedroom has been a dead one for a very long time.

So, what led to the dead bed, in your view?

I don't know, she just seemed to go off me over the last few years. Maybe after children? She certainly no longer loves me the same as she used to. I thought if she could experience another guy, it might fire her up again, but she isn't even interested in that!

Hate that for you. Hopefully one day she’ll be able to candidly express what’s really bothering her and what would make her happy again.

Thanks; As an optimist I have awaited that day, but it has been a long wait. And I have probed and tried to gain some idea of problems she may have, but she just seems happy in not taking an interest.

[Flint]

Have any couples gone from a "dead bedroom" or sexless marriage into a cuckold situation?

What caused the sexless marriage and for how long?

How did it turn cuckold?

Sexual arousal and libido is largely a product of hormones in the brain. It is so strong of a drive in our teens and twenties, that we become convinced that it is a part of our core being. But once the hormones abate with age, the libido can diminish or even cease to exist. This particularly happens to women after childbirth and menopause.

For women, they often stop experiencing dilation and lubrication when they no longer have the hormonal drive. Intercourse becomes painful, trying to put a fully erect penis in a closed, dry vagina.

Their sex drive is no longer needed because their procreative years are over. Once the hormones stop, libido just ends. And trying to get yourself interested in sex, when the hormonal drive has ended, is a lot like trying to make yourself eat a second Thanksgiving meal at your in-laws, after you just had a full dinner at your parents house.

MartasBoy, that is so well put and I think it explains my own situation. I suppose it's like scratching where there is no itch; if you have an itch it is a pleasure and relief to scratch it but there is no pleasure or relief scratching where no itch exists.

[2inUPMichigan]

Do you really talk and listen to each other?

Do you talk to her like she is your wife?
Or do you talk to her like she is the most important woman in your life?

The emphasis and intention is different.

[ktcouple]

From a psychological perspective I understand the desire for cuckolding in a sexless marriage. I think this desire is often rooted in the feeling of denial becoming eroticized. The brain is trying to avoid suffering by turning unpleasant experiences into more positive feelings like arousal. It’s a coping mechanism.

A dead bedroom can be caused by many reasons, but I agree with those who say that you need to solve it at home first before inviting others in. Dead bedrooms often form due to lack of good communication, which is absolutely essential for the lifestyle to work.

If the problem is not seriously medical, I’m optimistic that it can be solved. But even in case of a hormonal imbalance or menopause, it can be treated with hrt (and in many places even suggested by doctors).

We had periods when my wife was not interested in sex at all. Kids always interrupting, health issues, work stress, chores, etc. By the end of the day she was mentally exhausted and just wanted to mindlessly scroll through her phone and sleep.

iloanmywife captured it perfectly, taking things off her shoulder, going out on a date, finding time for us, brought her interest back. She actually said that the hottest foreplay for her is to see me in the kitchen, cooking. Now preferably naked, haha. It even became kind of a fetish for her and she started following sexy chefs.

[MallardStreet-3]

Sometimes the chemistry is just not there, and people marry in spite of it, thinking a lackluster sexual relationship will work itself out. But nobody, not even the worlds best therapist, can help you get back what you never had. In my case, looking back, I married in the wake of great personal tragedy and we both realize now we should’ve paid closer attention to the red flags. But over time, our love for each other grew stronger. Love,of course, is not just about sex. So we opened up the marriage and we both date men. Eventually we’ll almost certainly separate and divorce, but life for many reasons is complicated right now and the timing is bad and, in the meantime, we’ve carved out a life for each other that works for us. I’ve posted about our relationship on here only to have people who don’t know me or anything about it to react and lecture me I’m wrong and why sexless marriages do not work — something I’d never dream of doing, because at the end of the day, only we know our relationship and what works and doesn’t work for us. And everybody should be free to find their own way without judgement.
All that said, in our case, only coming to terms with the hard truths about why things weren’t working could we change the relationship to something that works for us, which is all that matters in the end.
I’d just suggest honesty and communication and compassion for each other.