How do you "switch off"?

[Peaks23]

So here's my problem.

I won't bother with too much background, but in 4 weeks time, my wife of 10 years is going to embark on her first hotwife/cuckold adventure. She is meeting an ex fling in a hotel for a day & night.

They are texting each other everyday, I try not to ask what's going on, but I get a little update at the end of the day, most days.

Anyway, with 4 weeks to go and my wife wanting to abstain from any orgasms until that point basically so she's gagging for it when they meet, I don't know how to switch off. Any little thing can trigger the almost constant arousal for me. I really really understand her point if view and want to comply fully to make the adventure a success.

I think it's also because I want to keep the excitement and anticipation going, and if we don't discuss/get excited by the prospect, she might feel that I don't care about it and I want her to constantly know how much I love her and want this to be a success for her as it's taken a massive leap for her to do this.

Any advice on how to keep the right balance?

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

First of all, you should tell her what you’ve written here. I think she would find it endearing. (Show her that you’ve posted it, even.)

Once it actually gets rolling (IF it gets rolling), I think you’ll find a groove, like my wife and I did, that helps move things along. (I hope your wife enjoys it as much as mine did and does.)

My wife and I have been at it (the cuckold lifestyle) for 17 years, now. There were many wannabe/fantasy years before that, too.

I, too, get aroused at the slightest suggestion (physical or verbal) that she’ll soon be having fun in the sheets with her boyfriend. She has two boyfriends, right now. Neither of them know about each other. I obviously know about both.

Between the two of them, she gets laid about once a week, alternating weeks between the two of them.

One of her boyfriends is completely cool with me watching them. I think he has even come to enjoy having me there to watch them. (I think he enjoys cucking me along with her!) I *know* she likes me there. Cucking me is definitely her “thing.”

So, at least, I get “relief” about once every two weeks with them. (Suffice to say that by the time the evening is over, all three of us have cum at least once in the presence of the other two.) Thus, I’m able to calm my mind for the week.

And then there are the opposite weeks when her new boyfriend, a fellow who’s not completely aware of our cucking kink, gives her a good “bending over” or “bedding.” So far, she has told me about every occasion, and I get so wound up that within the next 24 hours or so (sometimes immediately), she lets me bend her over the bathroom sink in front of the mirror to get my own little piece of heaven for the week.

A probable truism for so many of us that I’m getting to, here, is that blowing our wad is a huge relief…sort of like “getting it out of the system.” It allows us to “switch off” for a while. I can’t speak for other men, of course, but it almost always buys me about a week of “mellow.” I’m able to concentrate on other important parts of my life (i.e., work, family, etc.). It’s true for all of us, I think, unless denial is the specific kink.

My wife says the same. “A healthy sex life makes us all complete!” She says she’s happy she can make the three of us feel so complete. “You guys complete me, too.”

She’s obviously very aware of her men’s needs, of course, and it’s why we’ve fallen into the schedule that we’re on. It wasn’t deliberate. It’s just the way it turned out. I get relief once a week. They each get it every other week. She gets her relief twice a week. (She’s a “twice a week” gal.)

If your wife wants it to become a more regular arrangement with her ex, I think you’ll find it a lot easier to “switch off” once you guys find your groove.

[Long Lurker 34]

First of all, you should tell her what you’ve written here. I think she would find it endearing. (Show her that you’ve posted it, even.)

Once it actually gets rolling (IF it gets rolling), I think you’ll find a groove, like my wife and I did, that helps move things along. (I hope your wife enjoys it as much as mine did and does.)

My wife and I have been at it (the cuckold lifestyle) for 17 years, now. There were many wannabe/fantasy years before that, too.

I, too, get aroused at the slightest suggestion (physical or verbal) that she’ll soon be having fun in the sheets with her boyfriend. She has two boyfriends, right now. Neither of them know about each other. I obviously know about both.

Between the two of them, she gets laid about once a week, alternating weeks between the two of them.

One of her boyfriends is completely cool with me watching them. I think he has even come to enjoy having me there to watch them. (I think he enjoys cucking me along with her!) I *know* she likes me there. Cucking me is definitely her “thing.”

So, at least, I get “relief” about once every two weeks with them. (Suffice to say that by the time the evening is over, all three of us have cum at least once in the presence of the other two.) Thus, I’m able to calm my mind for the week.

And then there are the opposite weeks when her new boyfriend, a fellow who’s not completely aware of our cucking kink, gives her a good “bending over” or “bedding.” So far, she has told me about every occasion, and I get so wound up that within the next 24 hours or so (sometimes immediately), she lets me bend her over the bathroom sink in front of the mirror to get my own little piece of heaven for the week.

A probable truism for so many of us that I’m getting to, here, is that blowing our wad is a huge relief…sort of like “getting it out of the system.” It allows us to “switch off” for a while. I can’t speak for other men, of course, but it almost always buys me about a week of “mellow.” I’m able to concentrate on other important parts of my life (i.e., work, family, etc.). It’s true for all of us, I think, unless denial is the specific kink.

My wife says the same. “A healthy sex life makes us all complete!” She says she’s happy she can make the three of us feel so complete. “You guys complete me, too.”

She’s obviously very aware of her men’s needs, of course, and it’s why we’ve fallen into the schedule that we’re on. It wasn’t deliberate. It’s just the way it turned out. I get relief once a week. They each get it every other week. She gets her relief twice a week. (She’s a “twice a week” gal.)

If your wife wants it to become a more regular arrangement with her ex, I think you’ll find it a lot easier to “switch off” once you guys find your groove.

SLWW - Seems like you two have a nice groove, can I recommend a thread of your own and tell us how you stepped off the straight and narrow.

[inivisibletwin]

i dont think you should switch off. In my experience, in the early days of our cuckold / hotwife relationship, the more excited i was about her spreading her legs for other guys, the more excited she would be. that included her seeing me get off to it. when ever she saw me get off to the thought of her being with another guy it would show her that i was really very turned on by it and make her want to follow through with it all the more.

i think you should have her jerk you off while talking to you about her upcoming date, and see how much it excites you. i think that'll make her more excited about it!

she might need to obstain for getting before the date, but i think her seeing you get off will turn her on more!

[Peaks23]

i dont think you should switch off. In my experience, in the early days of our cuckold / hotwife relationship, the more excited i was about her spreading her legs for other guys, the more excited she would be. that included her seeing me get off to it. when ever she saw me get off to the thought of her being with another guy it would show her that i was really very turned on by it and make her want to follow through with it all the more.

i think you should have her jerk you off while talking to you about her upcoming date, and see how much it excites you. i think that'll make her more excited about it!

she might need to obstain for getting before the date, but i think her seeing you get off will turn her on more!

That makes a lot of sense. She likes watching me play with myself thinking about it. In fact she loves it. It also makes her horny so the more I can do that (and we have already done it a few times) the hornier she'll be for her date.
Although, at the moment, I could probably do that at least 3 times a day, so perhaps I need to switch off somehow during the day!!

[trecital]

Why do you want to 'switch off'? The build up and increased sexual excitement in advance of an encounter is all part of the adventure, surely?

[Peaks23]

Why do you want to 'switch off'? The build up and increased sexual excitement in advance of an encounter is all part of the adventure, surely?

Oh, don't get me wrong, I don't want to switch off at all. Only for her sake. If she's not feeling it at a particular moment, I need to be able to go along with that.

To be fair though, we do still talk about it alot and it normally ends up steamy which is awesome