Children in cuckold marriages

[2xboto]

Not the same thing but once my wife and I had a bad argument . As if we would break. Up
.so my wife got dressed really sexy and went out . My teen age daughters friends saw her at home and complimented her and gave her high fives .
Girls are wierd haha
Me when I saw her dressed like that I got turned on and brought to the bedroom and fucked her hard . That ended our fight .

[brutay2]

Well 20 and 17 are good ages for them to handle these things However they may not be at all interested in your sexual tendencies. If they are, then use your discretion as to opening up to their curiosity. Be as discrete as you can possibly be and allow them to arrive at their own conclusions.

[Johnann2227]

Hi Brutay,
Ann and I have discussed this and never want to lie to our kids if asked directly. We have agreed that if asked by our kids if we are having sex with other people that we will say something like, "You know how we are all nudists and we love feeling free living without clothes. Well at times your mother/father and I also enjoy including other people when we have sex. It is not cheating on each other as we both have fun doing it and there is no love involved with the other people. We have been doing this since our early 20s and love the extra excitement it brings to our marriage. We love each other deeply and trust each other and that is why this works." If asked we will acknowledge Ann's bisexuality but we will never tell them who we play with, especially the identities of our swinger group. That would be outing them. We won't go into the details of Ann's hotwifing, gangbangs etc as there is no need.
We just hope this conversation doesn't happen.

[shirley]

every situation is different.

I did know about my parents when I was growing up, our boys know about us now.

We don’t lie to our girls. Once the got to a certain age and started asking questions we gave the truthful answers

[OZCPL]

So I've had enough children of couples I've been with confront them on me to realize there's a 99.9% chance your kids know whether they say anything or not. Usually the question is just how detailed their knowledge is, yeah my parents are in some freaky stuff versus she gets fucked on Thursdays. The best way to tell is if you're convinced that there's absolutely no way your kids have any clue, they know everything.

The other thing that I think a lot of people forget is that even if it's a fantasy most of the pregnancies in the hot Wife lifestyle come from getting caught up in the moment not planning to have children.

This post sounds like the voice of experience talking and providing some well grounded comments.

[EdwardTheBull]

So I've had enough children of couples I've been with confront them on me to realize there's a 99.9% chance your kids know whether they say anything or not. Usually the question is just how detailed their knowledge is, yeah my parents are in some freaky stuff versus she gets fucked on Thursdays. The best way to tell is if you're convinced that there's absolutely no way your kids have any clue, they know everything.

The other thing that I think a lot of people forget is that even if it's a fantasy most of the pregnancies in the hot Wife lifestyle come from getting caught up in the moment not planning to have children.

This post sounds like the voice of experience talking and providing some well grounded comments.

Yeah that's why nobody likes to listen to me.

[Fuhxd_Cuck]

My gf and I have talked that if we ever wanted kids we would want to raise them in a sex positive way. For example we would explain to them what we do (but never show them). We both grew up in households where talking about sex and fetishes was never encouraged (and in her case was frowned upon) and i wouldn't want my children to grow up in the same way.

[parklife]

We had a similar topic a year or two ago and it spurned quite a bit of discussion…. Although maybe it was in the hotwife section and not specific to cuckolding.

At the end of the day, I think it simply ant that people raise kids to have an open mind, empathy and acceptance. Sexuality is a part of that but at the same time, I don’t think kids have a long term particular interest in their parents’ sex lives.

My wife and I live our sex life behind closed doors. There’s no reason for us to open that door to our kids but I do hope my girls pick up on the fact that we also live a life that allows for freedom of expression, mutual respect and a loving intimacy.

Do I want to lie to my kids, no. But that doesn’t mean o want to be completely forthcoming and open with them either. There are just some things they don’t need to know, even if they want to know.

I’ve got two girls and I hope to raise them with the self confidence to find their own path and to be comfortable with their own wants and desires. I dont want to stigmatize sexuality or individualism while hoping to give them the skills to face a world that does.

They are 11 and 12 now…. They know their mother has friendships with males and females and that it’s perfectly normal to have friendships and do things independently from your spouse. Hopefully they see the benefits of a non jealous relationship and one in which all households chores are shared and don’t think of groceries, laundry, cooking as the woman’s domaine. I want them self confident enough to ask for what they want and to know that speaking their mind is empowering.

[Cornudo1960]

We started our cuck relationship very young, so as kids came along, they were aware of their mother having men visit or stay weekends with her lovers. As they grew older they never questioned our lifestyle but the older one at the age of around 5 or 6 did mention that mum and xx were "banging on the wall last night" Clearly the headboard I just let them know that they were just having fun, this was never brought up again.
We did have a system for them not to enter the bedroom when she was entertaining by placing a hotel do not disturb sign on the bedroom door handle which she changed to her panties occasionally. the 2 girls are grown up and now living their lives and have never brought up any of this although we have had sexual discussions over the years.

[stubbyhubby]

Kind of a unique scenario for us. When we built our first house we intentionally looked at a design that allowed us some privacy from the kids. The middle of the house was the kitchen and dining room with the livingroom, kids bedrooms and two bathrooms on one end and our bedroom, a small sitting room and master bathroom on the other end. The small sitting room was where the front door was, so men could come in the front door and go to our bedroom and the kids were clueless.

They only became aware as they hit their teenage years. The irony is how different they all handled it. Our oldest son was not happy and didn't deal with it well. Our daughter thought it was liberating, but kind of ignored talking about it (aside from cracking a few jokes at my expense). Our youngest son thought it was the greatest thing in the world and starting around age 14 would even open the door for guys and tell his mom that the guy was there to see her.

[jenscuck]

So I've had enough children of couples I've been with confront them on me to realize there's a 99.9% chance your kids know whether they say anything or not. Usually the question is just how detailed their knowledge is, yeah my parents are in some freaky stuff versus she gets fucked on Thursdays. The best way to tell is if you're convinced that there's absolutely no way your kids have any clue they know everything.

The other thing that I think a lot of people forget is that even if it's a fantasy most of the pregnancies in the hot Wife lifestyle come from getting caught up in the moment not planning to have children.

You are on point!

[Laveenguy]

When our children were young we decided to take our adventures out of the house. Usually to a local hotel. When our children became adults we told them about our lifestyle. We told them that Mom had outside lovers and that I was a cuck. One was very accepting and the other had a meltdown. Interestingly the one that had the meltdown began to experiment with the idea. Today both of my girls are in their early 30’s. They talk with mom very frankly about her affairs and each have had a few of their own.

[4herpleasure89]

Our children never knew and we would never tell them even if they asked. I don’t think they would ask either because our sex life has always been private.

[LawyerWouldbeCuckold]

Our children never knew and we would never tell them even if they asked. I don’t think they would ask either because our sex life has always been private.

IMHO, that is the only way it should be. I cannot think of any sound reason why children should know what their parents do behind closed doors.

Too many parents, (full disclosure- I've never been a parent and never will be- I might eventually be a step-parent) as their children get older, consider their children to be adults (to where they forget that a child, regardless of his or her age, ALWAYS looks at his parent as a parent) and share things with them that, IMHO, aren't the childs' business, and can be extremely damaging to the parent-child relationship.

A poster above related how one of their children had a "meltdown" upon hearing what their parents had been doing.

Why should that have been a surprise?

[SimpleEnigma]

Lauren and I slowed down when the kids got to the age where “Mom’s going out with friends” while dressed like a class-A slut would have started raising eyebrows. Got more creative, but it did slow down until they went off to college. We’ve known many other wittols and cuckoldresses over the years and they were all careful not to let their children know.

In our opinion, whether its sharing your spouse, fucking your sister, or shitting on your girlfriend, as others have said here, sexual antics - bizarre, vanilla or otherwise - are not something parents should share with their kids. At least until they are well into adulthood.

[jenscuck]

every situation is different.

I did know about my parents when I was growing up, our boys know about us now.

Just out of curiosity what was the boys reaction. Our girls were curious .

[ktcouple]

We have two school aged kids who were not really showing interest in sexuality so far. We keep our sex life private, so I think they don’t know or suspect. But we also believe in sex positive parenting, so we’ve been talking with them about different relationship dynamics and sex in general, so they know that people, relationships and sex can be diverse and until it’s between consenting adults, it’s all fine.

Everyone has a right to privacy, so we don’t tell things we think they don’t need to know. But we have an honest relationship with them, so if they would ever ask a direct question or show worry, we don’t want to lie and would tell our situation so they understand us and don’t worry that it’s cheating or something is wrong.

[ccklvr]

we don´t want our children to know. maybe i´m a little old schooled, but my guess is, that children don´t want to know anything about their parents sexlife.

[gruenberg]

we ave a young daughter and i would never ever want her to find out what her mommy is doing on her nights out or when we (my daughter and i) are leaving for a dad-daughter-weekend and are leaving my wife (alone) at home.

our problem is right now, that our daughter is coming to an age in which she will notice more things of what is going around and we have to be more cautious.

the next bigger problem is, that our daughter was conceived while my wife had an affair with her boss. our parents know the situation but our daughter doesn´t.

[isinlarsa]

Our daughter discovered her mother was having sex with other men when she was a "tween". She went to her mother confused about what it meant. My wife explained to her that her mother and father were not separating, but that she needed more than one man. My wife brought me into the conversation so our daughter would see that I was okay with her mother's extramarital sex life (I was more than okay with it, but we didn't go into that with our daughter). I can't say our daughter understood that that age, but she accepted that "that's just the way mom is and dad is okay with it." It actually made things easier, because we didn't have to hide that her mother was going out with other men.

My daughter is now in her 30s, and she has been a serial monogamist as far as I know.

[ccklvr]

My daughter is now in her 30s, and she has been a serial monogamist as far as I know.

like many parents don´t want to talk with their children about their sexlife, children don´t want to talk with their parents about it either.

[funkyfitter]

Our children were grown and out of the house when we entered into our cuck relationship. They still don't know and we have no intention of giving them even a hint of it. Our closest kid is almost three hours away so there's no pop in visits. There's always a phone call letting us know when a visit is coming. Our sex life will always remain private and frankly, I'm sure that they don't want to know anything about it to begin with.

[subguy80]

When my brother and I were young, like 8-11 age range, our parents had friends they were very close to and often got together with. I remember one couple, in particular, who my folks spent a lot of time with. A couple of times I remember we had a baby sitter while my parents spent the night with them. We didn't think anything of it at the time, but fast forward thirty-five years. My parents have always known that Sarah and I had a close friend we spent a lot of time with, Aaron. They never asked questions. After several years, they must have assumed Sarah and Aaron were sexual. When we decided to become poly, there was no hiding the fact we would be in one house and that the relationship was more than friends or sex. Again, we told them (although we never told them the cuckold angle of the arrangement). They took it all in and never expressed shock or disapproval. They never really asked many questions except to ask about our boys and what we told them.

Recently, my mother told Sarah over a girl bonding time in the kitchen, that she had fallen in love with the husband of the couple they saw a lot. They had even reconnected with him (his wife had died) when he came to Tampa to visit last year. She didn't reveal whether sex had been involved 35 years earlier, but the implication was that they had been intimate and we're guessing my Dad had probably fucked the wife. The point is (if I have one, ha) is that my brother and I didn't really have any interest in my parents' sex lives when we were kids. When we got older, I think any suspicions we had were really none of our business and no big deal.

Our situation, of course, is different from many who have commented because we are poly and not hotwife. I don't want to talk a lot about my boys (so I don't want to see any comments about my parenting, especially from the sanctimonious readers) but as new teens, they have thankfully and surprisingly, easily processed (at least it seems that way) that their mother is in love with two men and that I'm OK with that. It's sort of like they have a step dad now, in addition to a Dad. Again, I understand this is different from a hotwife situation. Every situation is different and there certainly is no one-approach-fits-all, but as a friend once told me, "Kids just want to know everything is going to be OK and things aren't going to change for them. They want security and love." And that's what we are doing. As long as children feel loved and secure, I think they are quite resilient.

Going back to my parents, I think they can relate to our poly "marriage" in large part because they were swingers, themselves, at one point in their lives. I think, over time, my father may share more with me. It would be interesting to hear my father tell me how he felt having his wife fall in love with another man and how it affected them. I don't remember my parents ever having a "rough spell, " so I don't think there was a lot of drama. At least nothing was visible to us kids.

[stubbyhubby]

Three kids. Three scenarios.

Our oldest found out when he was 17. He was not happy. Shortly after he graduated he went in the military and was gone for 8 years and hardly communicated with us for most of that time. Since then he has gotten beyond it and while he never brings it up, there remains a "distance" that I guess will be there forever.

Our daughter found out at the same time our oldest son did. She was 14 and she was the exact opposite. She thought it was great. She saw how much we loved each other and came to the conclusion that it made us happy, so she was happy. After her and mom had a talk about the entire situation we decided to put her on birth control because it became clear she was very interested. Turned out that was a great decision.

Our youngest son was 9 when the other two found out, but he didn't find out until he was also 14. Like his sister, he thought it was great. He had no problem with knowing what was going on and would even occasionally answer the door and let men in to visit her. Once he asked me how it worked out that I wasn't bothered by it and I told him that it made mom happy so it made me happy too.

Before anyone asks...none of them were fathered by me.

[Long Lurker 34]

Three kids. Three scenarios.

Our oldest found out when he was 17. He was not happy. Shortly after he graduated he went in the military and was gone for 8 years and hardly communicated with us for most of that time. Since then he has gotten beyond it and while he never brings it up, there remains a "distance" that I guess will be there forever.

Our daughter found out at the same time our oldest son did. She was 14 and she was the exact opposite. She thought it was great. She saw how much we loved each other and came to the conclusion that it made us happy, so she was happy. After her and mom had a talk about the entire situation we decided to put her on birth control because it became clear she was very interested. Turned out that was a great decision.

Our youngest son was 9 when the other two found out, but he didn't find out until he was also 14. Like his sister, he thought it was great. He had no problem with knowing what was going on and would even occasionally answer the door and let men in to visit her. Once he asked me how it worked out that I wasn't bothered by it and I told him that it made mom happy so it made me happy too.

Before anyone asks...none of them were fathered by me.

SH - Did you come into your wife's life after they were born?