It might actually happen after years of telling me no.

[edgedndenied]

W
You say it's a non starter with Adam and Lana does not want to talk about him when you bring it up but she apparently is texting him behind your back about getting together in the future. That shoulde be very disconcerting to you. It appears she does not want to give up the best sex of her life and is just fueling Adam to continue his harassment of you. The sooner you clarify the situation with Lana the better. If she really wants to continue with him maybe you 3 should all sit down and set some ground rules and bring everything out in the open.

[oberothbeta]

Hey W. First off congrats to you and Lana!

I've followed your story, albeit quietly for a long time now and really do appreciate you sharing so openly. Its really been quite a ride for all of us, and its part of what inspired me to start sharing as well, as I might be entering a similar point in my life. I feel like the chat at sometimes helped provide perspective or alternative views.

This new development with Adam does seem a bit concerning though. I remember reading about the trickle truth being a big concern before with Lana and Adam, where she didn't fully give you some details about their sexcapades until after you found out from Adam. Would having another layer of dishonesty there become an even bigger flag for you?

Alternatively Is it possible that Adam is photoshopping it/are you 100% certain its real?

Lastly, I know this isn't something you want to hear right now, and I fully apologize for thinking it and for asking about it, but I remember when asked about the pregnancy before you mentioned you and lana were certain about timelines, because there was a clean break from Adam. But if there is some dishonesty around this situation now and her and Adam were/are in an affair, is there a chance you've been misled on timing and give some concern around paternity?

[w770]

Hey, w770, many many congratulations on your new addition to your family. And love to you and Lana. Please bring this finding up to her and let her know that you would not be happy with her getting together with Adam ever again as he is very bad news.
Love to you and your family.

Thank you! I want to bring it up to her, but I think the timing isn't right as she's still recovering, so I'm scared it'll come off really badly if I mention it while she's still in the post-partum phase.

It wasn't necessarily alarming at first, but then I noticed that the date of the text conversation was only a few weeks ago - a LONG time after I thought that she had broken off communication with Adam.

You mentioned earlier that you have an open phone policy, that you can check her phone any time you want. If you go on her phone and check the texts she sent that day, you should be able to verify that the communication is real and not something that Adam forged with photoshop.

It is very disconcerting if there is such communication going behind your back but remember that you and Lana played 'cheating' with Shawn. She might be under the impression that it's OK to play 'cheating' with Adam.

In any case it would perhaps be a good discussion to have is that the 'cheating' with Shawn was agreed upon prior to the event, and that you do not want any real cheating, especially with Adam.

W
You say it's a non starter with Adam and Lana does not want to talk about him when you bring it up but she apparently is texting him behind your back about getting together in the future. That shoulde be very disconcerting to you. It appears she does not want to give up the best sex of her life and is just fueling Adam to continue his harassment of you. The sooner you clarify the situation with Lana the better. If she really wants to continue with him maybe you 3 should all sit down and set some ground rules and bring everything out in the open.

I just checked her phone and it's real. I looked back into the conversation a bit and it looks like he had continuously reached out to her after the date she told me that communication was broken off. After about 10 or so messages, she finally responded and from there, they stayed in communication for a few months.

Some of what was said between them that I can remember:

Him asking her if she thinks about him, which she says she thinks of him every day.
How much he loved how she would sometimes wake him up with a blowjob.
About how she's still never let me take her ass and how it's only for him.
Her telling him how she misses being stretched out by him.
How naughty it was getting DP-ed.

He also wanted pictures of her but she said she felt insecure with her pregnancy body, but she eventually caved and sent him a video of her pinching her nipples to which he was sending her videos of him stroking off.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. It feels a bit like cheating as she never told me about it, but I'm not sure why she didn't as she should know that as long as we talk about things and are on the same page, we can usually agree on boundaries and we move forward together.

I was only able to go through some of their conversation as I didn't want her to wake up and see me looking at her phone, even though we have an open phone policy. I just feel like she would get upset as her hormones are going crazy right now, and Adam has been a touchy subject, so I made the decision to put her phone down and save the conversation for a later time.

[BallSpanking]

Thank you! I want to bring it up to her, but I think the timing isn't right as she's still recovering, so I'm scared it'll come off really badly if I mention it while she's still in the post-partum phase.

Yeah ... In fact maybe leave it be while she is breastfeeding ... For a couple of years.

[thinman]

I’m sorry to say that this does not sound good to me at all. Did the text conversation break off after some time? Or do the texts continue to the present? If they broke off, then you can delay however long you feel you should. On the other hand, if they are continuing to the present day, then I think you have to have a talk much sooner.

[tojanman]

Playing devils advocate here but maybe she responded to Adam looking for an ego boost because of her insecurities regarding her pregnancy body. She’s probably not planning to actually see him again but his thirst to bed her is a huge boost to her self confidence.

Of course I’d also check her conversations with Cara to verify that she’s not picking up any bad habits from her friend. Just as a CYA.

[Wifesharing]

Yeah not great sounds like you say she stopped talking to him for a short time after they stopped seeing each other then started up again. Was this even while she was seeing Shawn?

For her it is probably her feeling shame for not being able to resist this guy. That doesn't male it better it just is a possible reason. Not being able to resist talking to a man might not be a women's proudest moment. When shame comes in efforts to hide that shame is normal .

I think you might want to gather as much of the conversations first and take time to have the conversation no need to rush this. This might actually all work out it might not but in her current state not a lot of good will come out of it.

[scarfolamew]

Another reason why she might have neglected to mention it to Will is that both of them are historically turned on by her being a cheating slut. I know this still violates the specific parameters that were set up around that (eg, she has 3 days to tell him if I recall) but, given that she knows her husband will not only forgive her but that it will lead to him worshipping her body and having mind-blowing reclamation sex... I can imagine it being hard for her to resist.

I'm sorry this came up at a time where you feel it's not appropriate to discuss it with her, that must be stressful as hell. I would just advise that it's not the end of the world if she did act a little naughty behind your back. Your relationship is strong despite her falling in love Shawn, and it will absolutely survive whatever has been happening with fuckboy.

[w770]

I’m sorry to say that this does not sound good to me at all. Did the text conversation break off after some time? Or do the texts continue to the present? If they broke off, then you can delay however long you feel you should. On the other hand, if they are continuing to the present day, then I think you have to have a talk much sooner.

Yeah not great sounds like you say she stopped talking to him for a short time after they stopped seeing each other then started up again. Was this even while she was seeing Shawn?

For her it is probably her feeling shame for not being able to resist this guy. That doesn't male it better it just is a possible reason. Not being able to resist talking to a man might not be a women's proudest moment. When shame comes in efforts to hide that shame is normal .

I think you might want to gather as much of the conversations first and take time to have the conversation no need to rush this. This might actually all work out it might not but in her current state not a lot of good will come out of it.

Playing devils advocate here but maybe she responded to Adam looking for an ego boost because of her insecurities regarding her pregnancy body. She’s probably not planning to actually see him again but his thirst to bed her is a huge boost to her self confidence.

Of course I’d also check her conversations with Cara to verify that she’s not picking up any bad habits from her friend. Just as a CYA.

Thank you! I want to bring it up to her, but I think the timing isn't right as she's still recovering, so I'm scared it'll come off really badly if I mention it while she's still in the post-partum phase.

Yeah ... In fact maybe leave it be while she is breastfeeding ... For a couple of years.

Another reason why she might have neglected to mention it to Will is that both of them are historically turned on by her being a cheating slut. I know this still violates the specific parameters that were set up around that (eg, she has 3 days to tell him if I recall) but, given that she knows her husband will not only forgive her but that it will lead to him worshipping her body and having mind-blowing reclamation sex... I can imagine it being hard for her to resist.

I'm sorry this came up at a time where you feel it's not appropriate to discuss it with her, that must be stressful as hell. I would just advise that it's not the end of the world if she did act a little naughty behind your back. Your relationship is strong despite her falling in love Shawn, and it will absolutely survive whatever has been happening with fuckboy.

So Lana's mom took her into the bathroom to help her shower so I had a minute with her phone so look over the conversation with Adam and to save what I could so I could look it over in more detail later and take my time with it. Basically, they've been speaking for a while after I believed the communication had ended and it went all the way up until about 2 and a half weeks ago, so almost right up until the big day. Some quick notes of what I saw:

They were sexting a LOT. I saw several videos of her getting naked and getting herself off for him with him doing the same.
He has a lot of control over her, such as how he told her to get her toy and fuck her ass with it. She refused at first, but after a bit of convincing, she was doing everything he wanted her to.
She told him that she would do a DP with him and Evan again if that's what he wanted.
A lot of videos of her getting ready in the morning such as brushing her teeth or brushing her hair but either completely naked or in her panties.

I remember there was a date night a few months ago where she took longer than expected to get ready and we ended up being late to the restaurant. Well that night coincided with a video I saw of her that she sent to him. He told her to make me wait - and as she was getting ready in the bathroom, she took off her dress for him, and they masturbated together.

I'm very torn about all of this. It definitely feels like cheating to me, but it's also a conversation I'm not ready to have with her given her state. I just don't know when will be a good time to mention it though. As Tojanman mentioned, I checked for anything in her conversations with Cara, but didn't find anything necessarily incriminating.

There is another aspect of this which may not come as a total shock - but I have to admit that a part of it turns me on. I feel like I'm back to the angst I first felt when Shawn and her started their fling.

[MustBeDenied2]

Wasn’t there some deceit at the beginning with Shawn, too? If I recall correctly, that was kinda swept under the rug, since the whole thing was so hot.

To clarify, I’m referring to Lana fucking Shawn before she told you about it, not her letting him think she was cheating.

MBD

[Wifesharing]

I believe there was deceit with Adam when she first met him too not talking about their agreement.

I understand how this is hard for W I also get major turned on by the cheating wife stuff. It is a very dangerous game Lana knows how much it turns W on and knows she can get away with it and even turn it into pleasure for W very dangerous. Even with the dangers and knowing those dangers W will find it hard to resist as he can;t deny how much he turns him on. HE knows he shouldn't he knows its a bad idea. but it is not easy to deny your sexual desires and what turns you on.

It is not wise, but we all play dangerous games our urges are hard to fight, I have a lot of the same desires W has and times when i feel my wife might be sneaking I get so torn upset but on the other hand turned on more then I could imagine. My wife have never done anything close to cheating like this but man if I found this out I would have a hard time deciding if I wanted it to end or continue. It is no as easy of choice as those that are not wired this way think.

This is not encouragement or advice just I understand where W is. Yes its a dangerous game and logic and reason say don't play with fire but oh sometimes the burn feels too good.

[w770]

Wasn’t there some deceit at the beginning with Shawn, too? If I recall correctly, that was kinda swept under the rug, since the whole thing was so hot.

To clarify, I’m referring to Lana fucking Shawn before she told you about it, not her letting him think she was cheating.

MBD

I believe there was deceit with Adam when she first met him too not talking about their agreement.

I understand how this is hard for W I also get major turned on by the cheating wife stuff. It is a very dangerous game Lana knows how much it turns W on and knows she can get away with it and even turn it into pleasure for W very dangerous. Even with the dangers and knowing those dangers W will find it hard to resist as he can;t deny how much he turns him on. HE knows he shouldn't he knows its a bad idea. but it is not easy to deny your sexual desires and what turns you on.

It is not wise, but we all play dangerous games our urges are hard to fight, I have a lot of the same desires W has and times when i feel my wife might be sneaking I get so torn upset but on the other hand turned on more then I could imagine. My wife have never done anything close to cheating like this but man if I found this out I would have a hard time deciding if I wanted it to end or continue. It is no as easy of choice as those that are not wired this way think.

This is not encouragement or advice just I understand where W is. Yes its a dangerous game and logic and reason say don't play with fire but oh sometimes the burn feels too good.

There was deceit in both instances. With Shawn, she had originally told me that he came over by happenstance and fucked her on the kitchen counter. In reality, she had texted him to tell him that I had left to walk to dogs, and then he proceeded to let himself in and fuck her.

With Adam, the deceit was the fact that she had told me that he hadn't had fucked her with his bare cock and denied it until Adam sent me a video and I clearly saw his cock pumping in and out of her pussy, unprotected.

Wifesharing is completely right - I'm very torn by all of this as I'm sitting in the other bedroom right now, looking over their messages with a huge erection, but at the same time, feeling betrayed in a way. In their conversation, she strips naked for him whenever he wants her to, he picks out whatever panties and bra he wants her to wear on our date nights, he tells her to sneak off to the bathroom during our date nights so he can see her pull her strappy dress down and has her remove her bra for him, etc.

I'm going to wait until tonight when I can finish saving the rest of their conversation.

[thinman]

Now you know why she has refused to talk with you about him for the last several weeks/months. By not talking with you about him, she didn’t have to openly lie to you about the texting/sexting.

All this was going on during the last several months when she was having basically no sex with you, right?

[Wifesharing]

Now you know why she has refused to talk with you about him for the last several weeks/months. By not talking with you about him, she didn’t have to openly lie to you about the texting/sexting.

All this was going on during the last several months when she was having basically no sex with you, right?

Maybe I am wrong but it sounds like it has been going on almost the entire since he thought she stopped contact back in last summer.

[w770]

Now you know why she has refused to talk with you about him for the last several weeks/months. By not talking with you about him, she didn’t have to openly lie to you about the texting/sexting.

All this was going on during the last several months when she was having basically no sex with you, right?

Right. I thought she was just not in the mood because of the baby, however, she clearly was wanting some sexual activity. Just mostly with him. I'm not going to be surprised if I go through more of their conversation and find something in there showing me that Adam told her to deny me. It's starting to make a lot more sense to me why he was so arrogant and confident that he could have her again.

Now you know why she has refused to talk with you about him for the last several weeks/months. By not talking with you about him, she didn’t have to openly lie to you about the texting/sexting.

All this was going on during the last several months when she was having basically no sex with you, right?

Maybe I am wrong but it sounds like it has been going on almost the entire since he thought she stopped contact back in last summer.

It looks like there was maybe 2 or 3 weeks when the official "end" of their communication started until they started talking again.

It looks entirely sexual though, as he tried to tell her early on that he was still in love with her and she immediately said that he can't tell her that and she won't let it get to that point. She even threatened to never speak to him again if he says that to her. After the threat, he never mentions it again.

This is genuinely a tough situation, but I have to remember to be patient given the circumstances. I've also deleted FB from my phone again as I can really only focus on one major distraction at a time.

[hiki]

This is genuinely a tough situation, but I have to remember to be patient given the circumstances. I've also deleted FB from my phone again as I can really only focus on one major distraction at a time.

Yes, patience is a good idea. Take a deep breath and remember to always assume the positive!

[MustBeDenied2]

Some wives need to have their secrets. There are a lot of old-timers on here who have had very long, fulfilled cuckold marriages in which the wife never came clean in real time, sometimes waiting years or decades to share the full story. Can you live with that?

It’s not like you haven’t made it clear that she can play, but there can be no secrets.

Big conversation ahead. Wishing you well with it.

MBD

[scarfolamew]

It looks entirely sexual though, as he tried to tell her early on that he was still in love with her and she immediately said that he can't tell her that and she won't let it get to that point. She even threatened to never speak to him again if he says that to her. After the threat, he never mentions it again.

That's interesting given her enthusiasm for the L word where Shawn was involved. Looks like she's really a two-man girl when it comes to matters of the heart

Just trying to add some levity here. I can imagine you're in considerable turmoil. Hope you have the chance to discuss this with her soon.

[johnstevens555]

At this point you must wonder what else she has been hiding. Serious question, does the baby look like you? Have you had any fleeting feelings that it has different features than you? Most babies look just like the father for the first few days. I know you would raise his as your own but not knowing might eat you up.

[Maddie_Hippychick]

Have you done a paternity test? You don’t need anyone’s permission, and nobody needs to know. You can get a test kit from the drugstore and do a simple cheek swab on the child and another on yourself.

[TheHammer]

Sounds like that genie isn’t getting back in the bottle once you let it out. Seems like this is who she is and likewise with you if reading her texts got you instantly hard. There couldn’t be a worse time than now to bring it up of course. Who knows, in a few months or a year, she may be playing again. Enjoy the ride.

[readyy2009]

There also could not be a worse time to have that feeling of deceit though right after having a baby when you guys should feel the most connected

[tojanman]

Wait so does that mean she was sending him videos of her naked with her face visible?

And were any of those news videos that he sent you filmed after she had “cut contact” with Adam? Also was she texting him while she was on vacation with Shawn?

[scarfolamew]

Just want to put it out there that given the open phone policy, if she was truly trying to be sneaky she would have deleted the texts.

Unless.. there are other texts she DID delete. God dammit..

[ResponsibullCummings]

The fact that he was texting with her the whole time behind your back and he knows it and is also sending you all the videos and messages shows he is trying to destroy your marriage. Apparently he is in love with Lana to the point that he thinks if he breaks up the marriage he can have her. You might want to bring that to her attention and tell her that Adam tipped you off that she's been messaging with him and that although you aren't pleased she hid that fact from you that you are concerned that he is trying to cause problems in your marriage. If that information doesn't want her to break it off from him you might have bigger problems.