How to cope with jealousy?

[d204]

My cuckolding process (started here viewtopic.php?f=6&t=65631) is advancing slowly inch by inch in baby steps. My wife push the process forward with determination, but still very carefully and gradually. We didn't go all the way with it yet, but I begin to understand and feel my inferiority to our bull. I am very humble at any interaction with him (we had a few), I cannot deny that I really do respect him as a superior male, and I fully justify my wife request to act submissively in his presence. If you agree to be a cuckold, you deserve to serve the bull and humbly accept the humiliation that comes with it.

However, though I accepted my duty (not without difficulties) the more docile I'm I begin to struggle with jealousy and that warm continuously gnaws at my brain. Seeing my wife makes out with him in front of me, while I'm locked and denied, their display of love and affection towards each other and his patronizing and somewhat contempt attitude towards me (I don't condemn him for that) is totally a different story than just knowing she has a lover.

The ridiculous thought that I wish I was him crossed my mind twice lately, though I know that there is no change in the world I can me such a man, neither I want to be such.
Is there a way to cope with jealousy in my status, or should I reconcile with it as an unavoidable side of a cuckold's life?

Thanks,
d.

[ucaneffher]

My cuckolding process (started here viewtopic.php?f=6&t=65631) is advancing slowly inch by inch in baby steps. My wife push the process forward with determination, but still very carefully and gradually. We didn't go all the way with it yet, but I begin to understand and feel my inferiority to our bull. I am very humble at any interaction with him (we had a few), I cannot deny that I really do respect him as a superior male, and I fully justify my wife request to act submissively in his presence. If you agree to be a cuckold, you deserve to serve the bull and humbly accept the humiliation that comes with it.

However, though I accepted my duty (not without difficulties) the more docile I'm I begin to struggle with jealousy and that warm continuously gnaws at my brain. Seeing my wife makes out with him in front of me, while I'm locked and denied, their display of love and affection towards each other and his patronizing and somewhat contempt attitude towards me (I don't condemn him for that) is totally a different story than just knowing she has a lover.

The ridiculous thought that I wish I was him crossed my mind twice lately, though I know that there is no change in the world I can me such a man, neither I want to be such.
Is there a way to cope with jealousy in my status, or should I reconcile with it as an unavoidable side of a cuckold's life?

Thanks,
d.

While I am not into humiliation or disrespect or anything that feels like it. I will say that for the jealousy department, which was also a big issue for me in the beginning was to accept it and know there was nothing i could do about it. Eventually I learned to like it and kept asking her to do things without me realizing that I was wanting to feel jealousy.

I reached a point where I continued wanting to feel jealousy, i just absolutely loved wanting to feel jealous and even helpless at times. So, i continued asking her to go farther with other men and go to more extremes, eventually seeing my gf literally move out and go live with her boyfriend. I reached a level of jealousy that really hit all the right spots.

Once I was alone at home, i would be in bed in the dark knowing that at that same instance my gf was also at home with him in bed, probably going on their third passionate sex session before falling asleep naked next to him... wishing that it could be me there doing that instead but it was him, and there was absolutely nothing i could do about it other than just continue jerking alone to the thought of my gf having all the privacy in the world to give herself entirely to another man. She of course confirmed it the next day during our daily phone call and would tell me the details of her nights of passion.

Jealousy isn't always bad, but it's also not always good.

[cukgrl69]

I haven't really experienced any jealousy with my wife. (I have in previous relationships however.)

I'm very excited for her and happy for her. we both love talking about things she experiences with other men. For example she squirted for the first time with another man and I think that was awesome. I wasn't jealous at all. Her BBC bull can give her far more intense orgasms than I ever have. I love discussing that with her.

Of course, as of yet, my wife has never spent the night with anyone else nor has she really formed any kind of emotional bond with anyone. For her, so far, its all been purely sex. She's defiantly a slut. I feel more like she's using other men. She's not really submissive to anyone. I'd classify her more as sexually greedy.

[4incheslong]

I have never gotten over jealousy. The contempt you speak of is not only from him but from her. She can't help but lose respect for you and become more submissive to him. They would talk about why any real man would want this and talk about if you are gay.

[Cherrypopper+]

We are actually a hot wife couple, not a cuckold couple, but we both think that jealousy is part of the excitement.
My husband has told me many times that if he ever completely got over his jealousy, it would eliminate some of the excitement.

[d204]

I have never gotten over jealousy. The contempt you speak of is not only from him but from her. She can't help but lose respect for you and become more submissive to him. They would talk about why any real man would want this and talk about if you are gay.

Yes, they already start talking about me, but just as a slave, no bi comment was ever thrown.
None of them will disrespect someone because he is homosexual.

[a_dumb_cuck]

Hmmmm, coping with jealousy... excellent topic and one that is often ignored. Many a cuckold have blown their own shit up in a cloud of misdirected jealousy. For me, jealousy and powerlessness are at the core of my cuckold kink. Jealousy drives me, but she is powerful, cunning and patient. I have been in both failed and successful cuckold relationships, and I can tell you, in most cases the failure was mine. NO ONE, and I MEAN NO ONE likes a wet blanket, and there is nothing more moist and uncomfortable than a sulking cuckold (except maybe a raging cuckold)... And believe me, I know how hard it is to stop that loop once it starts!

But this is what I want, it is what I believe in. Like I believe that some men are meant to make babies and others meant to raise them. Some men are meant to fuck and some arent, some men are meant to be served, and some are meant to serve. And some men are meant to get nothing. I believe in extreme natural selection, in mating and pairing.

So for me, in order to get a hold of my jealousy I need to breath in the middle of that storm, and see the bigger picture; the only picture! I said yes. I say yes every day. If i asked her to stop and for some insane reason she agreed, would either of us be happy? The answer is no. I want her to make it hurt, and she wants to hurt me. It makes her wet asf to have the power and control, and... I cannot deny that their sex turns me on, more than our sex.

I think it is easy to get wrapped up in the experience and the stories we tell ourselves about that experience, especially when living it 24/7. But you get to decide the story you tell yourself!

Sometimes, I want to be the sad little cuckold too, just be careful of lingering too long. Remember, you said yes, and also no means yes, but if you are in a real nonconsensual situation, always call the local authorities.

[respectabullinma]

Jealousy can rear it's head in a million ways both big and small, but how you deal with it really depends on how you choose to do this lifestyle. If humiliation isn't your thing and you feel that negative jealousy/angst at any point, you should shut down active lifestyle play until you talk and work through it. Sometimes it's about how you play - if you aren't there your mind can run wild so being more involved and taking a playdate or two slower can help with that. Sometimes it's about how you reconnect - if you aren't getting the aftercare that you need as a cuck, the emotions can go really negative fast. And if you are into humiliation and verbal play, sometimes getting what you want just stings and cuts a little too deep. Stopping play, immediate reconnection and other acts can help remind you that your core relationship is still loving and secure. A cuckoldress walks that fine line between being a loving partner and embracing that empowerment, and it's not always easy to get it right every time. So be open about those feelings in real time and put in the work. Good luck!

[Shellworship]

I think that jealousy is the ultimate high in my cuckold relationship. Whilst I am not permitted to watch my partner cuckolding me, I am provided with the full story after each session. This often includes how much she loves and adores her lover and the sex that they have and how it is, by far, the most important thing in her life.

I love Shelley with all of my heart and to hear her say these words is heartbreaking and makes me so incredibly jealous. I’m not even allowed to see her in her underwear, or touch her breasts any longer. However, the jealousy is such an all encompassing emotion that I have grown to respect and even crave it.

[d204]

I think it is easy to get wrapped up in the experience and the stories we tell ourselves about that experience, especially when living it 24/7. But you get to decide the story you tell yourself!

My story is that I'm a submissive inferior male and thus being a cuckold is the right place for me, no complaints. But still sometimes I turn (too) emotional especially when I have to act like that in front of her bull.

And if you are into humiliation and verbal play, sometimes getting what you want just stings and cuts a little too deep. Stopping play, immediate reconnection and other acts can help remind you that your core relationship is still loving and secure. A cuckoldress walks that fine line between being a loving partner and embracing that empowerment, and it's not always easy to get it right every time. So be open about those feelings in real time and put in the work. Good luck!

Thanks,
That's right. I always remind myself that her role as the leader of our relationship is complicated and quite demanding. At least I can say that her joy when I confessed about my painful jealousy gave me that submissive satisfaction so still it's has its rewarding side after all.

[Mgcouplemn]

Jealousy starts when one believes the other will get or become in a relationship with someone else. With us our relationship between us is not in question at all. although I am a very Jealous woman and I am lucky that my husband isn't interest in having sex with anyone else, he does adore me and extremely excited me seeing me having sex with others. We have lots of sex together and he has told me that he gets off fantasizing that he is a stranger fucking me. My husband would rather jerk off watching me be fucked rather than sex with another woman. Three weeks ago we met a guy that when I lead him down the path of letting him know that he could fuck me as long as my husband could watch he surprised me with that his wife (who wasn’t there) wanted to watch him having sex with another woman. I told him she could watch as long as she didn’t want sex with my husband, he agreed and I turned the conversation over to my husband to make all the arrangements.

Later that night he went and picked up his wife and the four of us had drinks, my husband started fondling me and exposing me to the guy, periodically having the guy touch my exposed breasts, ass, or pussy. Then it was time to have sex, so my husband led us to the bed where he undressed me and presented my naked body to the guy for sex. The guy pulled a chair next to the bed for his wife to sit and watch, got undressed and mounted me. While he was doing that my husband took his clothes off, pulled a chair up to the foot of the bed, sat done and started stroking his cock. While I was having sex, the guys wife was rubbing her pussy watching both us fucking and my jerking off husband. My husband was entirely engrossed in watching me, I felt no threat.

My husband and I just don’t care to have any other love type relationship with others, sex is for fun and enjoyment. I enjoy seeing my husband all exclusively excited over me having sex, there is no need for jealousy for us.

[mrdnrm]

Jealousy, a big word, but only your attitude can change how you feel. Being a cuckold can be painful or erotically joyful it's all in how you can control your mind set. I struggled with the pain of jealousy at first. Then I remembered it, this is what I wanted, what we talked about before hand. Having her enjoy a larger cock, a man with greater stamina. Once you introduce another man into your relationship then try to stop it, most often this will lead to problem or possibly divorce.

I turned my feelings into me having control by choosing her sexy clothes to wear, shaving her pussy in the shower while washing her body, helping her dress. I tell her she excites me by doing this and letting me be a part of it all. I get to help help her choose the gentleman she will be with. I allow her to kiss him and allow her to be touched. I give her permission to enjoy her lover and even have feelings for her so she may enjoy the sex more deeply. I ask her to make me more part of the sex while I am watching from a chair in the room. I want her to show me how much she is going to enjoy his cock by grabby hold of her lovers cock and run her tongue up the side of it, then to look over at me and tell me how big he is and how much she looks forward to getting him inside her pussy. I have turned this into total erotic pleasure for me. Like going to the strip joint or my own live sex show.

For me it took time to turn my jealousy into my own type of erotism, I conditioned my brain to enjoy watching my wife tease me and enjoy the thrill and adrenaline rush of watching her fuck another man and than I went even further eating her lovers cum out of her pussy every time with great excitement and enthusiasm.

[Luv It]

Contempt for me, either from my wife or one of her given lovers is not something I ever wanted.
In fact, I always wanted to be on "friendly" terms with her Steady BFs as it relates to this.
I simply relate to him that it really turns me on that he and my wife are sex partners.

Jealousy is something we all feel however.
Let me explain.....
After all, it is the woman you love ...your wife. How can one not feel some romantic jealousy?
IMO, what we feel and what turns us on is indeed the romantic jealousy highly erotisized by us.
This is why we are only turned on like we are by only our wife getting fucked, etc by other men.

Let's not confuses this romantic jealousy with being angry. After all, you want all this to happen.

[Chrislydi]

I'm more or less on the same page as Luv it, in that's it's a jealousy fueled eroticism that can drive greater levels of excitement in seeing, or hearing about, your wife experience pleasures beyond your wildest dreams. For some of us however, it's not always such an easily achieved mindset, there can be times where the jealousy is far too much, and it shouldn't be looked down on as some kind of failing by those who don't suffer. Everyone is different and promises are not usually made with the sole intention of breaking them.

Chris

[Luv It]

I will just add the erotisizing this jealousy does not happen quickly.... etc.
It can be a gradual thing.

[Greg_N_Shelley]

I reached a point where I continued wanting to feel jealousy, i just absolutely loved wanting to feel jealous and even helpless at times. So, i continued asking her to go farther with other men and go to more extremes, eventually seeing my gf literally move out and go live with her boyfriend. I reached a level of jealousy that really hit all the right spots.

Once I was alone at home, i would be in bed in the dark knowing that at that same instance my gf was also at home with him in bed, probably going on their third passionate sex session before falling asleep naked next to him... wishing that it could be me there doing that instead but it was him, and there was absolutely nothing i could do about it other than just continue jerking alone to the thought of my gf having all the privacy in the world to give herself entirely to another man. She of course confirmed it the next day during our daily phone call and would tell me the details of her nights of..

So how did this end? Are you still “together” (for whatever that means in this case)?

[ucaneffher]

I reached a point where I continued wanting to feel jealousy, i just absolutely loved wanting to feel jealous and even helpless at times. So, i continued asking her to go farther with other men and go to more extremes, eventually seeing my gf literally move out and go live with her boyfriend. I reached a level of jealousy that really hit all the right spots.

Once I was alone at home, i would be in bed in the dark knowing that at that same instance my gf was also at home with him in bed, probably going on their third passionate sex session before falling asleep naked next to him... wishing that it could be me there doing that instead but it was him, and there was absolutely nothing i could do about it other than just continue jerking alone to the thought of my gf having all the privacy in the world to give herself entirely to another man. She of course confirmed it the next day during our daily phone call and would tell me the details of her nights of..

So how did this end? Are you still “together” (for whatever that means in this case)?

She extended her lease for an additional 6 months, totaling to 18 months away and after that was done she moved back in and we resumed a normal life for another 2 years or so before she got herself another boyfriend.

My problem is that I pushed her to going further until it became too much for me and i regretted pushing so hard. She was very involved with him and I just wanted her to turn it down just a notch but it was too far for me to handle her being his. I ended things with her after another 2 years of her being primarily his.

[Luv It]

I reached a point where I continued wanting to feel jealousy, i just absolutely loved wanting to feel jealous and even helpless at times. So, i continued asking her to go farther with other men and go to more extremes, eventually seeing my gf literally move out and go live with her boyfriend. I reached a level of jealousy that really hit all the right spots

That about sums it up for me also....really "wanting to feel jealous and even helpless at times" ...to an extreme level.
It also explains why some want to constantly expand the envelop to put our relationship with our wives ever deeper in the danger zone.

[d204]

For me it took time to turn my jealousy into my own type of erotism, I conditioned my brain to enjoy watching my wife tease me and enjoy the thrill and adrenaline rush of watching her fuck another man...

My wife, who surprisingly was happy to hear about my jealousy, holds a similar stand. She says that my brain should be conditioned to trigger the self inferiority and humiliation feelings I need and desire when I am jealous.
It's a quite a challenge to inhibit those manhood instincts that are still there and turn it into the humility and lowliness that are required to be a proper cuckold.

It is even harder for me in this threesome with her arrogant bull, who proudly exhibits his macho man advantages over me.

[Luv It]

I suppose for a wife... her husband being jealous means that he loves her.
So the best case scenario is the husband is indeed jealous but he has leaned to eroticsize it

[Chrislydi]

For me, a cuckold is a man who's wife/girlfriend sleeps with another man, nothing more or less than that, there is no need for him to feel in anyway inferior to the other man or be humiliated by either the other man or his wife/girlfriend, and I don't and aren't, even if I'm thankful he fucks her better than I could. Not everyone is such an extremely submissive cuck. You can eroticise jealousy without all the rest of it.

Chris

[Luv It]

Let me explain further..
What I meant by "humiliated" is admitting to a given BF that It turns me on for him to fuck, etc my wife. A husband it not supposed to feel that way
I never felt inferior etc and, like I said, I never wanted any verbal belittlement from anyone.

Of course I never had any knowledge of what they might have said about me when I was not around. I could only imagine.

[Luv It]

I said this before but it warrants repeating ...

None of us really wants loose our wife to another man.
However, putting your relationship with your wife in the danger zone in ever increasing ways as she "couples" with a steady BF can be highly erotic for some husbands into this.

[mrdnrm]

For me, a cuckold is a man who's wife/girlfriend sleeps with another man, nothing more or less than that, there is no need for him to feel in anyway inferior to the other man or be humiliated by either the other man or his wife/girlfriend, and I don't and aren't, even if I'm thankful he fucks her better than I could. Not everyone is such an extremely submissive cuck. You can eroticise jealousy without all the rest of it.

Chris

I like this statement; as I agree with "a cuckold is a man who's wife/girlfriend sleeps with another man, nothing more or less than that" up above in my post/comment I addressed the jealousy as I experienced it. For all parts of your post I agree and I believe what your saying is we all can experience being a Cuckold in our own way. We can say no and we can say yes to different things that we each want to experience.

For me I never felt inferior to any man, yet I know and understand that some men are better at things then others. For instance we have met with some young bulls that had very impressive cocks and could fuck her with all she could take and for hours something I could never achieve yet they couldn't rub two dimes together to make a nickel. ( A financial expression meaning they are financially inept).

In 2003 when we first start our Hotwife/Cuckold journey jealousy was strong and yet a great turn on for me. When the excitement and erotism of watching her took over and the jealousy subsided I needed something to replace that itch, angst, or edge so I started to allow a bit of humiliations into the mix to help pull in a more emotional erotism to me being there and watching. Now it's a big part of my enjoyment of our sexual journey. Here is a photo of me wearing my Cuckold necklace. Yes it has the word CUCKOLD in big bold letters and yes I wear it in public. https://www.flickr.com/photos/mrdnrm12/ ... ateposted/

[takemoment]

I think jealousy is a natural reaction when one is becoming a cuckold. Even if we want to be cuckolded, it is still hard to know or see your wife being sexually active with another man. We are men and genetically we can be possessive and we think we are sexually appealing and know how to perform in the bedroom. Yes there can be self-doubt about performance and we do need to hear a woman enjoying our lovemaking and telling us that we are great in bed. Fake orgasms exist for that reason.
So when another man is suddenly having sex with our wife and they are kissing and performing oral and fucking, we tend to hate the man and are upset with our wife for enjoying it. Not sure if knowing it is happening or seeing it happen is worse.
In my case, with my current wife, I have seen it all. The first time is the hardest, but there are specific moments that have been equally hard for me. Each activity I have witnessed has caused some anguish and jealousy. I would have thought the penetration of his cock in her willing cunt, the fucking and his pumping his load in her, her cumming, would be the hardest to deal with. But the hardest thing for me was when I watched my wife take his cock in her mouth, suck him, deep throat him and swallow his load. It made me angry, jealous, and questioned what the hell was wrong with me to want to be a cuckold. But over time, witnessing her sucking his cock, it just became part of the experience and something, I as a cuckold, had to accept.