Feminized cuckold - others?

[xucked]

My wife caught me wearing her panties, but it's something she won't allow at all - her reaction was one of the hardest no I've heard her give

As our cuckolding roleplaying & dirty talk has got deeper over the years, elements of bi has creeped in

I was as straight as they come, I would say even repulsed by the thought of being with a man & lived like that for over 30 years, but then....

Over time I became attracted to cocks not to men & my wife and I dirty talk me giving men BJs or being fucked by them

With her guidance this became more & more common until it's nearly every time we fool around

She frequently avoids PiV though, and sometimes I'm not allowed to sexually touch her or even see her naked

So she'll make me masturbate over myself while she fingers my arse & puts two fingers in my mouth & tells me to give them a BJ. This makes me cum instantly & some of the biggest orgasms I've ever had

This makes her laugh & she makes me apologise for marrying her but being gay

Something changed and now if I ever cum to porn (which isn't often as I only edge) I actually cum to gay porn

I think my wife has rewired me

Now I fantasise about being with men & being fucked like a girl by them while wearing my wife's bra and panties. I fantasise about taking HRT, growing breasts and shrinking my already small penis further

I'm in pretty deep with it, but wife doesn't know more than dirty talking me being fucked by men & given her reaction to me wearing her panties, I'm not sure she'll take the test of it well

[pixwellguy]

......I think my wife has rewired me....

You haven't been rewired - you're just beginning to enjoy the bi and feminine sides of your sexuality. There's nothing wrong with that; a lot of people are not purely straight or gay, but exist somewhere along the spectrum between the two. And it often takes some age and maturity to realize this about yourself. I'd say just relax and enjoy it, and let your wife get used to the idea. It sounds as if she enjoys seeing this side of you.

[xucked]

......I think my wife has rewired me....

You haven't been rewired - you're just beginning to enjoy the bi and feminine sides of your sexuality. There's nothing wrong with that; a lot of people are not purely straight or gay, but exist somewhere along the spectrum between the two. And it often takes some age and maturity to realize this about yourself. I'd say just relax and enjoy it, and let your wife get used to the idea. It sounds as if she enjoys seeing this side of you.

I certainly understand the whole spectrum aspect of sexuality

But for my whole life, until my wife dirty-talked this, I wasn't even a fraction away from being as hetro as they come

It's a bit of a mindfuck to now almost exclusively be cumming to the thought of cock with my wife's 'training' (for want of a better term) and encouragement

I'm not worried about it, I'm happy to go with the flow... But wow!

But this has set me off on further paths like wanting to be fucked like someone's girl, wanting HRT etc, bits my wife doesn't yet know about

[uk cuck wannabe]

I had a similar experience with an ex who used to live me telling her stories about me playing with hard cocks, as I wore her panties. She would play with my bottom with one hand, while she touches herself with the other.
It always made her cum very hard.
She would then tease me after by calling me her little gay boy. I miss her a lot.

[ArdentOneX]

Couldn't send a dm, but I'd love to discuss more. You had mentioned fetlife. I am ArdentOneX there as well.

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum ArdentOneX.

[CuckTimothy]

I’m not a cuckold but i am self feminized. It started a long time ago and was the typical lingerie and sex toys type of exploration. But once that got old I moved on to real every day feminine clothes. That brought out the realization that this wasn’t just a fetish. I preferred how I felt when feminine and being regarded as such by other people. I felt more complete. The bisexuality was another part of that awakening.

I think there is quite a difference between a sissy and a transwoman. I started dressing up in female clothes (my aunt's, we were a similar size) and feminizing when I was 13, it became my little secret, i enjoyed it thoroughly, but even then I understood it was sexual play, not a true desire to actually be a girl. I very much identify as a sissy - a feminine "beta" submissive male who is sexually female but otherwise not female at all. Transwomen are female in every way, I think this is the difference.

[Christinebitg]

Yes, there is a difference.

For some of us that experience *both*, that can be a bit confusing.

[xucked]

Yes, there is a difference.

For some of us that experience *both*, that can be a bit confusing.

I don't know where the line is, but I step over from one to the other constantly

Then I dismiss it as just a kink, but then the desire to trans comes back

[Christinebitg]

Yes, there is a difference.

For some of us that experience *both*, that can be a bit confusing.

I don't know where the line is, but I step over from one to the other constantly

Then I dismiss it as just a kink, but then the desire to trans comes back

I think that's entirely understandable. Because, while they're not the same thing, there's a lot of overlap.

What would be strange, and in my opinion where many people go off track, is asserting that there's no connection between fantasizing about being female on the one hand, and actually wanting to BE female on the other.

I acknowledge that the F to M direction also exists. I've written it the way I did to make it easier to write it out.

I also acknowledge that not all people accept a binary gender system. Again, I wrote it that way just to make it easier on myself in trying to describe things.

Nor is there a constancy in all this. My thoughts and feelings about it are somewhat fluid. From one week to another, it can all change for me. The only variable I've been able to correlate it to is my overall stress level. It may perhaps be a psychological coping mechanism for me.

[Cuckmartha]

I was living most of the time as a woman when I met my late wife. We were at a fund raising event for my church and became friends. Just lady friends, doing lunch, shopping and movies. Eventually sex happened and she became more dominant. She started by requesting me to wear certain items and to assume the passive role in sex. Then came the maid role. I had a little black dress she suggested a apron and next thing I was a sissy maid. Soon I was serving as maid for her friends both male and female. Feminine items were soon added to my masculine attire. She became the decision maker in sex and discovered male chastity. I had been doing some tucking so that I could wear women's swimming wear. She liked the idea of the no penis look and declared me to be without penis. She decided I was a sissy and therefore non male. She quietly explained to me that she would from time to time need a man on her arm, on the dance floor or in bed. She said she loved me, just not as a man. She asked me if I understood? . It's hard to put your foot down when your wearing pumps.

[Bent_n_Twisted]

What would be strange, and in my opinion where many people go off track, is asserting that there's no connection between fantasizing about being female on the one hand, and actually wanting to BE female on the other.

I once had what seemed/felt a very realistic dream, where my mind was swapped into the body of a big-boobed, shapely blond. While it was interesting as a one-time experience, I have zero desire to actually be female, or to even pretend to any female attributes/acts. There was no sex involved in the dream, or even any other people at all, just a brief experience of being a hot, naked chick with big tits. I woke up surprised, but not aroused. It has never happened again.

[Christinebitg]

What would be strange, and in my opinion where many people go off track, is asserting that there's no connection between fantasizing about being female on the one hand, and actually wanting to BE female on the other.

I once had what seemed/felt a very realistic dream, where my mind was swapped into the body of a big-boobed, shapely blond. While it was interesting as a one-time experience, I have zero desire to actually be female, or to even pretend to any female attributes/acts. There was no sex involved in the dream, or even any other people at all, just a brief experience of being a hot, naked chick with big tits. I woke up surprised, but not aroused. It has never happened again.

Dang, I wouldn't have wanted to wake up from that dream! I have to wonder what it signified for you, in a psychological sense. The subconscious can do weird things at times.

Obviously it's not about having sex, since you're clear that wasn't included.

[Bent_n_Twisted]

I once had what seemed/felt a very realistic dream, where my mind was swapped into the body of a big-boobed, shapely blond. While it was interesting as a one-time experience, I have zero desire to actually be female, or to even pretend to any female attributes/acts. There was no sex involved in the dream, or even any other people at all, just a brief experience of being a hot, naked chick with big tits. I woke up surprised, but not aroused. It has never happened again.

Dang, I wouldn't have wanted to wake up from that dream! I have to wonder what it signified for you, in a psychological sense. The subconscious can do weird things at times.

Obviously it's not about having sex, since you're clear that wasn't included.

I'm not sure it actually signified anything at all. I sometimes have odd dreams that are unrelated to anything that I can place, I may have simply seen a chick with big tits and wondered what it was like to have to carry all that weight on your chest. A couple of days ago I had a dream where I was flying, just me, no machine, and a helicopter hit me which caused us both to crash. The helo pilot didn't believe that he'd hit me, but there was something jammed under my thumbnail which turned out to be a piece of paper that could have only come from the helo. The thing that I was most confused about (in the dream), was how a flimsy piece of paper could have got driven under a thumbnail, and why it didn't hurt when I pulled it out.

Having dreams that I can remember is infrequent for me, and ones like this are different from the ones that *do* have a psychological component, like after getting out of the Army and having dreams about fighting zombie soldiers that wouldn't die when I shot them. They are also different from what happens when my heart rate and respiration drop too low while I'm sleeping, and the CO2 build-up causes hallucinations- I see some very strange, disconnected things and wake up feeling like I am suffocating...which, technically, I suppose I am. (My heart rate can drop so low that when I go to check my BP in the morning, the machine throws an error. I have to drink a cup of coffee and try again, I think it sees anything under 40 as a 'bad' reading.)

I never did figure out the zombie thing, but the dreams stopped after a few years and a lot of booze.

[Christinebitg]

I'm not sure it actually signified anything at all. I sometimes have odd dreams that are unrelated to anything that I can place, I may have simply seen a chick with big tits and wondered what it was like to have to carry all that weight on your chest.

That's entirely possible, especially considering the medical issues you described.

But before I'd write it off as meaningless, I'd poke into it some more, to see what sense I could make out of it. My sense, and it's only just a wild @ss guess, is that you're trying to interpret dreams more literally than you need to. The sub-conscious often communicates into very allegorical ways, usually not very explicitly or directly.

[Bent_n_Twisted]

My sense, and it's only just a wild @ss guess, is that you're trying to interpret dreams more literally than you need to. The sub-conscious often communicates into very allegorical ways, usually not very explicitly or directly.

Maybe, but the sense that I got from it was that, while I found it to be an interesting temporary experience, I wouldn't want it to be permanent. That was one that I really haven't tried to seriously interpret. It was more like a 'Huh, that was strange and interesting, but I'm glad to wake up and find that I'm still me.'

[Christinebitg]

My sense, and it's only just a wild @ss guess, is that you're trying to interpret dreams more literally than you need to. The sub-conscious often communicates into very allegorical ways, usually not very explicitly or directly.

Maybe, but the sense that I got from it was that, while I found it to be an interesting temporary experience, I wouldn't want it to be permanent. That was one that I really haven't tried to seriously interpret. It was more like a 'Huh, that was strange and interesting, but I'm glad to wake up and find that I'm still me.'

Yeah, for sure. Nobody else can interpret them for you.

[MallardStreet-3]

Transitioning and going on hrt is obviously a huge life-changing decision, but I am going to move forward and talk to my doctor next week about a higher dose because if and when I ever do have doubts (any trans person who says they don't is not telling it like it is) all I need to do is look at the evidence, which is that since I started on hrt, I feel and look so much better. I've lost 40 lb, I'm in shape again, I care about myself again, and it's just night and day, so from my perspective I just feel like, even though transitioning at this age, 49, is so very hard, and truly it is, why would I walk away from something that has helped me so much? So I'm slowly but surely coming out to family and friends.
At this point I'm still married, but i hate to call my wife my 'wife' because we truly are just more friends, and I am pretty much exclusive to men … and I just prefer to deal in reality and not try to be something I'm not anymore, but all that said, sometimes I do get a little bit forlorn looking back on it all. If I could be something I'm not my life would be so much easier. But I can't. And I suppose letting go is hard. I go by the name Jamie now but I used to go by James. I asked her a while ago. I said 10 years ago we were having lots of sex and life was so different, and doesn't she ever want to turn back time and go back to that…and she said she would never want to live with James again, because it was not right I was not right, and Jamie is such an easier and better person to be around because I am at peace. So I'm lucky for this support.
This past weekend, we went out to a local festival and I suppose I pushed my appearance towards the very femme and I even got maam'ed a few times, which caught her off guard and she asked me what I thought about it. I said it felt awesome and it made me feel good, and she was happy for me. She's going away on a business trip in a few weeks, and at some point while I have had my share of sex with men over recent years, while she has had license to do so, she hasn't bc shes so busy with life and career. And I think it's going to be an adjustment for me when she does pursue a sexual relationship with somebody, and even maybe more, too, but while that may be a little hard for me, it's not really about her as much as letting go of the old me, and ultimately it is what I want for her because it's not so much that I get off on the thought of somebody having sex with her, although I can't say there isn't a little bit of that aspect, but I just truly want her to be happy, because I love her and I am not somebody who can help in that department and as soon as I put it all out on the table a few years ago, life did get better for me. Someday, when life is easier and less complicated, I'm sure we'll split up, but I don't think it'll change our relationship a lot. It's so hard to live two lives.
One night not long ago I was giving her a back rub and she started to kind of grind against me and I came in my pants and she said laughingly that I had had a girlie gasm and that I should definitely stick with men. I agree, but hearing her say it really made me feel good and was a bit of a turn on too. That said, I think it's safe to say we both rather be with a hot guy instead.
Anyway, rambling on here, but I hope everybody finds some peace and happiness on their own journey whatever it is, and I also just wanted to say thank you for the wonderful replies to my earlier reply, they meant a lot.

[Christinebitg]

Transitioning and going on hrt is obviously a huge life-changing decision, but I am going to move forward and talk to my doctor next week about a higher dose because if and when I ever do have doubts (any trans person who says they don't is not telling it like it is) all I need to do is look at the evidence, which is that since I started on hrt, I feel and look so much better. I've lost 40 lb, I'm in shape again, I care about myself again, and it's just night and day, so from my perspective I just feel like, even though transitioning at this age, 49, is so very hard, and truly it is, why would I walk away from something that has helped me so much? So I'm slowly but surely coming out to family and friends.
At this point I'm still married, but i hate to call my wife my 'wife' because we truly are just more friends, and I am pretty much exclusive to men … and I just prefer to deal in reality and not try to be something I'm not anymore, but all that said, sometimes I do get a little bit forlorn looking back on it all. If I could be something I'm not my life would be so much easier. But I can't. And I suppose letting go is hard. I go by the name Jamie now but I used to go by James. I asked her a while ago. I said 10 years ago we were having lots of sex and life was so different, and doesn't she ever want to turn back time and go back to that…and she said she would never want to live with James again, because it was not right I was not right, and Jamie is such an easier and better person to be around because I am at peace. So I'm lucky for this support.
This past weekend, we went out to a local festival and I suppose I pushed my appearance towards the very femme and I even got maam'ed a few times, which caught her off guard and she asked me what I thought about it. I said it felt awesome and it made me feel good, and she was happy for me. She's going away on a business trip in a few weeks, and at some point while I have had my share of sex with men over recent years, while she has had license to do so, she hasn't bc shes so busy with life and career. And I think it's going to be an adjustment for me when she does pursue a sexual relationship with somebody, and even maybe more, too, but while that may be a little hard for me, it's not really about her as much as letting go of the old me, and ultimately it is what I want for her because it's not so much that I get off on the thought of somebody having sex with her, although I can't say there isn't a little bit of that aspect, but I just truly want her to be happy, because I love her and I am not somebody who can help in that department and as soon as I put it all out on the table a few years ago, life did get better for me. Someday, when life is easier and less complicated, I'm sure we'll split up, but I don't think it'll change our relationship a lot. It's so hard to live two lives.
One night not long ago I was giving her a back rub and she started to kind of grind against me and I came in my pants and she said laughingly that I had had a girlie gasm and that I should definitely stick with men. I agree, but hearing her say it really made me feel good and was a bit of a turn on too. That said, I think it's safe to say we both rather be with a hot guy instead.
Anyway, rambling on here, but I hope everybody finds some peace and happiness on their own journey whatever it is, and I also just wanted to say thank you for the wonderful replies to my earlier reply, they meant a lot.

Yes, it's rambling, but it's okay here.

Hey, if I can enjoy estrogen at age 69, there's no reason you can't make a transition 20 years younger than that. It's my favorite drug!

Just be glad you have a supportive partner. She sounds wonderful.

[Chewbacca1]

My wife is hesitant to "feminize" me because ... I don't know, just the way she was raised. Right now we are happily stuck in the role-playing mode which is a big jump from where we were before, which was "ah, NFW I'm doing that!"
She's to the point where she'll asked me to jerk off for her while she tells me about her fantasy lover(s) fucking her, and is not too anxious to have me eat her out after I fuck her, and was shocked when she was sucking her dildo while riding me and I started kissing her and then took the dildo in my mouth.... I think that was a little too far too fast for her.
Are there any HWs out there with advice on how I can persuade her I'm OK with this? I jokingly told her I was going to buy a strap-on and let her fuck me, which got me a blank stare.

[emerald74]

It is so nice to see all these responses and to read how what I feel clearly is not that unusual...

I am experiencing two things, the feminization which at this point is not even "forced" anymore but all but voluntary, but also the desire for the same-sex sexual experiences.

As far as I am concerned, my sex life is at this point exclusively directed towards other men, and I am finding myself loving it that way. Jesus, do I love it.

It is not that this has been put into me, it is that this has been liberated and set free.
I am totally happy with how things are, being a sissy, loving cock..., knowing my partner is getting her sexual needs met by her "more manly" men... Super turn on, every single day.

Things just sometimes go ways we don't expect...
All I can think of these days is that I wish my tits were bigger...

[elina]

Dearest sissy-cuckold Chloe

How nice of you to update, and how nice of your Wonderful Superior Wife to allow you to continue to do so. Please, I would be grateful if you would be kind enough to extend my most sincere admiration and regards to Your Superior Cuckolding Wife for taking you down this path and thank Her for allowing you to post your transition here.

How wonderful to see that your process of being sissified is no longer forced. I guess you must have felt really happy the day you accepted that you had reached the point where you fully embraced the process. Still as a submissive male and wannabe sissy myself, I have to admit I still hope that Your Wonderful Superiror Cuckolding Wife is still in control of you and that you are submitting to Her, and accepting Her as Your Mistress the way all sissy-cuckolds should.

A while ago you reported that your Superior Wife had decided that you would go on hormones, at least using cream?
Have you started a proper hormone treatment with pills or are you currently still using cream?

Also, If your Superior Wife will allow this, I would love to hear a little more about how you are serving Her? I hope that She has taken advantage of the situation and trained you to become a proper housekeeper to alleviate Her of domestic tasks She as a Superior Cuckolding Lady should not be bothered with and that you in general are fully submitting to Her and Her lover, serving them as they desire?

Finally, I can fully understand that you now feel a strong desire for bigger tits, isn't having big real tits the true and proper hallmark of a sissy who has fully accepted herself for whom she is? I just wonder if you have discussed with Your Superior Wife if the time for you to have implants is coming close? I would assume that She, and not you, should make the decision on such a significant step?

Yours sincerely
elina -
submissive wannabe sissy who feels a stronger and stronger desire to be feminized.

[MallardStreet-3]

It is so nice to see all these responses and to read how what I feel clearly is not that unusual...

I am experiencing two things, the feminization which at this point is not even "forced" anymore but all but voluntary, but also the desire for the same-sex sexual experiences.

As far as I am concerned, my sex life is at this point exclusively directed towards other men, and I am finding myself loving it that way. Jesus, do I love it.

It is not that this has been put into me, it is that this has been liberated and set free.
I am totally happy with how things are, being a sissy, loving cock..., knowing my partner is getting her sexual needs met by her "more manly" men... Super turn on, every single day.

Things just sometimes go ways we don't expect...
All I can think of these days is that I wish my tits were bigger...

Emerald,

It is so great to see your post, too, I feel the same way after reading what you wrote. It's pretty uncanny how much we have in common. There was a time when people saw me as a definite testament to manhood, but deep down inside that is not who I was or am. I feel like I was a prisoner waiting to come out. And now the lock is falling apart and the door is about ready to bust open. I am infinitely happier and healthier in my life on feminizing hormones, and sexually, you are right because I, like you, absolutely can no longer be with anyone but a man.
Jamie

[emerald74]

Hello all,

It's been quite a while since I posted last and I felt like posting an update. Life had gotten busy with work during the slow but steady fading of the pandemic and also, with the biggest changes having happened, things got more steady and became more of an everyday thing - in good ways.

It has been almost a year now that I have not had sex with my lady, or more precisely, no intercourse. She has a steady boyfriend/sex partner for over a year now, they date and have very regular sex and are steadily building their relationship and very own sex life. She also has had sex with several other men in the meantime, just not with me.

She does occasionally straddle me and my face, allowing me to eat her out and lick her to orgasm, usually after she had sex with him. She let's me eat her lovers cum from her pussy, or occasionally from a condom just before she will sit on my face. However, I don't get to watch her have sex - or be with them, their sex is exclusively private and their own intimacy, I only get to participate in the aftermath and only when she feels like it.
I also don't get to touch myself or cum when she is naked with me, only by myself or with others, i.e., the man/men I get to be with. In fact, I usually stay dressed in female lingerie and only serve her as her sissy. These rules have established themselves exclusively.

Her having sex with her boyfriend is a constant turn on for me, as is her denying me sex with her and her insisting (although no longer necessary, lol) on me staying feminine when with her or at most other times.

To me, all of this, and the parts below, is the total cuckold experience that has always turned me on and it really does. Even writing about and sharing it turns me on.

Another turn on is the radical change in my own sex life. From her early encouragement, then enforcement of my bi side on to my total embrace of it, I now exclusively have sex with men, and exclusively in a bottom, sissy role. I have a steady male partner who also controls which other men I have sex with although I do get to occasionally find a new male play partner for myself. Usually directed by my Top, usually by him ordering me to find someone to use me, usually late nights when I am out for a business trip or on similar occasions, and I just can not stop being turned on by that.
I almost had sex with one other woman in the context of another couple, on two separate occasions, but I could not get hard and was too eager to please each of their husbands, so that even in that situation I ended up in the sub sissy role. It confirmed to me who and what I am and had discovered about myself and that it was right.

I always was pretty well endowed, an "issue" (lol) that I now sometimes am even sad about, as it interferes with tucking and wearing small cages, I just wish I had a very small penis/clit. But, I and others have noticed very clearly that it is increasingly shrinking - I have not had an erection with others that would allow penetration in months. Even when I cum by myself it is often with a half hard-on or I cum during one of the caged, amazing, mind-melting sissygasms that I get to experience now. Or, of course, as it happens, when I get fucked into my pussy and just can't hold it.., but even then I am often not more than half hard.

I completely accepted my transition into feminity and absolutely love it, this is totally me. The discovery of my transgenderism was life changing.

I no longer get sugared or waxed as I had described earlier. I have since the summer begun laser hair removal on my entire body. At a commercial hair removal place for chest and abdomen, and with a home laser device for legs, crotch/pussy , arms and armpits, my male partner does my back. I am virtually hairless top to bottom and never want to have body hair anywhere ever again. And never will after all these treatments.

As some have asked and as it was mentioned before, hormone therapy is now fully on the table and I believe the last and next logical step in my transition from a formerly somewhat/occasional top male to a sub/bottom sissy to a woman and I can't stop thinking about it. I have taken herbs and all kinds of natural supplements to enhance breast growth and it is beginning to show, but far from sufficient. I wish for rounder features, even less pressure on the hair growth, bigger breast and altogether a more feminine feeling. I have had the talk with my primary physician and have another appointment coming up in January, and will hopefully start HRT in late January. My only worry are the sometimes mentioned side effects of loss of libido, although at my current level, a little less may not be bad, lol, and the loss of appetite, but I am trying to get into a better bikini figure anyway and thus, I am soooo excited.

Oh, and I was just travelling in Mexico with one of my friends and had purchased my very first bikini and had my first proper manicure and nails done.

My life has totally changed over the past year and I have never been happier.

Happy to keep updating if there is interest.

[emerald74]

It is so nice to see all these responses and to read how what I feel clearly is not that unusual...

I am experiencing two things, the feminization which at this point is not even "forced" anymore but all but voluntary, but also the desire for the same-sex sexual experiences.

As far as I am concerned, my sex life is at this point exclusively directed towards other men, and I am finding myself loving it that way. Jesus, do I love it.

It is not that this has been put into me, it is that this has been liberated and set free.
I am totally happy with how things are, being a sissy, loving cock..., knowing my partner is getting her sexual needs met by her "more manly" men... Super turn on, every single day.

Things just sometimes go ways we don't expect...
All I can think of these days is that I wish my tits were bigger...

Emerald,

It is so great to see your post, too, I feel the same way after reading what you wrote. It's pretty uncanny how much we have in common. There was a time when people saw me as a definite testament to manhood, but deep down inside that is not who I was or am. I feel like I was a prisoner waiting to come out. And now the lock is falling apart and the door is about ready to bust open. I am infinitely happier and healthier in my life on feminizing hormones, and sexually, you are right because I, like you, absolutely can no longer be with anyone but a man.
Jamie

Thank you Jamie for these kind words, I totally agree. What you wrote resonates with me at 100%.