she has feelings?

[Brute]

If this happens, I don’t think you will ever get the cork back in the bottle. There is going be an intense fling that will in time cool off, but once they have crossed the barrier of intimacy it will be so easy for the two of them to repeat. It won’t be the intense stuff that seems to be near, but it won’t end. When life gets too boring she’s going to see him, when he breaks up with a girl friend she’s going to cheer him up. That will continue as long as he is your neighbor.

Does the thought of that excite you?

[Polleny]

Hello Shesmypornstar!

First of all thank you for taking us along on the ride. It is a great pleasure to read your story. I can’t say follow yet since I found it this week but I might be able to say that soon.

You do what ever you want but I think Guhunkadorn has a good point. I was glad to see that he expressed the same concern as I have.

If you go on with your current plan, where will that leave you in the future? For example if your wife would come to the point we hope she will not come to, that she decides to leave you. When will she tell your neighbour it was a lie in the beginning? How will he feel about being lied to and how will he feel about being the reason you two broke up? Or will she never tell him, so their relationship will be based on a lie.

The separation path may take you to a point where you may have to make a decision that is caused by the lie. If it gets serious she have to tell him it was a lie or she has to make a decision that goes along the line of the lie you created.

If you just tell him the truth you will be free to play it what ever way you want and you won’t be backed in to a corner that you have to get yourselves out of. It might even be hotter for all of you, presuming your wife isn’t just playing you.

The fact that he’s having multiple girlfriends doesn’t have to mean he’s seekinging a steady partner. It might give the signal that he would be happy to have a relationship with no strings attached.

Do what suits you the best but do it after you considered the consequences.

I wish you all the best what ever you do.

Polleny

[leander99]

Yes, I also agree the word "separation" is negative.

Even if it is not a real separation, there can be a psychological effect.
Even if you are not truly separated, it may "feel" to her as if in a sense like you two are "separating".

Sometimes a fantasy, when repeated often enough, can start to become reality.
You definitely do not want the fantasy separation to become real, so maybe not play this fantasy up to much.

At the very least the both of you should communicate a lot, to make sure you are both on the same page about this.
Worst outcome could be if the neighbor and your wife start catching feelings, meanwhile he believes you guys are actually separating.

[shesmypornstar]

If this happens, I don’t think you will ever get the cork back in the bottle. There is going be an intense fling that will in time cool off, but once they have crossed the barrier of intimacy it will be so easy for the two of them to repeat. It won’t be the intense stuff that seems to be near, but it won’t end. When life gets too boring she’s going to see him, when he breaks up with a girl friend she’s going to cheer him up. That will continue as long as he is your neighbor.

Does the thought of that excite you?

Yes, I actually don't mind that idea at all. At some point one would think he'd eventually get married which likely puts a stop to everything, but maybe not.

Thinking more about the idea of a separation, or the idea of telling him straight up. I don't think either of us would be comfortable approaching that topic straight up in fear of either rejection, judgement, or worse, word getting out. I have thought about dropping some hints by making jokes or playing on the idea that she's free to do what she wants, but haven't really executed on the idea. I sometime wonder if she thinks I"m going to bring it up while we're all together, but I wouldn't do that to her without telling her first. On the flip side, I don't think shes ever thought of just bringing it up with all 3 of us together, but I'd probably cum in my pants on the spot if she did.

In terms of the separation, maybe the one thing we've greatly overlooked is an exit strategy. I guess I have brought it up in ways by asking how long she thinks this could go on before he starts asking questions. But along the same line of thought, what would she or we say if her and I clearly don't want to separate but she wants to continue seeing him? Is that the point when she says to him "Hey, we've decided that we want to stay together but I still want to see you and my husband is ok with that"? Its not being honest about how we got to that point, but honest about how it would move forward. At that point he could take it or leave it, but either way he would know that I"m ok with the cuckold dynamic being part of our marriage.

Side note, and though this feels risky to say I'm sure its quite a stretch. I could see him having some kind of familiarity with this site and every now and then I wonder if he reads this forum and asks himself if this topic involves him.

[shesmypornstar]

It seems this is now officially on me. She mentioned today that she had another opportunity to mention the "separation" and even recognized her chance but couldn't figure out the best way to say it or bring it up. We talked a little and I mentioned how i thought it would be kinda easy to bring up and that she should be able to handle a question or two.

She told me that I should tell him and that if i really wanted to push this along I'd help her out. I told her that I could do that, and I"d let her know next time i see him so she could confirm again that she was serious.

Now a while back i told her that when she decided that she was serious and planned on telling him that I wanted her to lock me up. So tonight she told me to lock myself up until I did the right thing and told him. Then she'd let me out for a little fun and lock me up again until she fucks him. So it looks like its on me and I think she's serious too. I know I should take her for her word, but sometimes you have to filter between whats real and whats play. That said, I'll know for sure if she wakes up tomorrow and asks to see my caged cock. If she does that I"ll hand her the keys until I get the job done or she changes her mind.

[Brute]

I want to defend your use of “separation” as you are not being dishonest, the two of you are having a separation, with the hope (plan) of reuniting. This happens often when one member (usually the woman) wants to sow their wild oats and explore greener pastures, which often results in reunification of the couple when the grass is not all that greener over there; have to admit though, usually the guy isn’t so participating in making that happen.

Many years ago, a friend of mine was going out of the country for half a year because of work. He had arranged for most things like yard work and snow removal through a service company, but asked me personally to look after his wife if anything came up while he was way, I was good friends with both. So we are sitting on his back porch having a few beers he says “Six months is a long time to go without, I don’t know if can hold out that long.” Then looks at his wife “If you can’t make it, I hope you at least pick a decent fellow like Brute and not one of those sleaze balls you work with.”
I think we both blushed. You might find a way to let him know it would comfort to you knowing she is getting it from decent guy.

BTW how does the cage feel? Do you have to give up peeing standing?

[Dream Weaver]

It seems this is now officially on me. S....If she does that I"ll hand her the keys until I get the job done or she changes her mind.

Wow. Do it. Open that door and walk through it.

[ahboom]

She told me that I should tell him and that if i really wanted to push this along I'd help her out. I told her that I could do that, and I"d let her know next time i see him so she could confirm again that she was serious.

Do it. It's time

[larryt]

Maybe there’s a way to get the right message to him. E.g., tell him not to panic if he sees her with other men because she’s talking about dating?

The idea is that you’re not just whining about separation, but that you’ve already accepted that she might be seeing other guys — so she will be available.

I hope that her locking you up gets you motivated.

[troilusand]

I agree with Brute that the word "separation" is okay to use.

I don't see it as "lying" so much as I see it as "fibbing". When my wife was playing with my approval she'd tell the guys she was cheating on me so MY reputation stayed more or less intact. And if things "developed" into love later, she could explain the reason for the mild deception at the outset. And the same can happen here. And as the OP said, the flat-out truth doesn't work for them.

I have no qualms about (mildly) deceiving a man who is about to fuck someone's wife. It's kinda like telling a car-jacker to "buckle up" as he drives way with your car. Conscientiousness can go a little too far, sometimes.

Troilus

[shesmypornstar]

I have no qualms about (mildly) deceiving a man who is about to fuck someone's wife. It's kinda like telling a car-jacker to "buckle up" as he drives way with your car. Conscientiousness can go a little too far, sometimes.

Troilus

Haha, I love this comparison. Great point.

So not long after she told me to lock myself up and do the right thing, life got in the way and I was too preoccupied to lock up. Nothing too serious, just something that needed my attention.

As I tend to do, sometimes I put the ball back in her court to see just how serious she is about something. In this case, how serious is she about locking myself up until I tell him? Does she really want me to do it? Or is she just getting really good at playing this game? She was gone the next day and when she came home I was horned up from our dirty talk the previous night. I was kind of wondering, and hoping that she was going to demand I do what she told me to do and lock it up, but she didn't. Instead, even after a little more talk about cucking, but no talk about locking it up or me telling him, she decided to ease my stress with a nice bj. Obviously no complaints with that result.

The next day I brought up the idea that I wasn't caged and she kinda laughed and told me that I really don't want to do that to myself, and by that she meant tell him. We've talked a little about it over the past couple days, the entire dynamic, what I'm looking for in this, what the consequences could be, etc. On one hand she thinks I'm really trying to just get rid of her and shes wondering why. On the other hand she's come to realize how much more attentive I am, and how much more I'm generally attracted to her when shes talking about other guys. She even went back in her memory to connect the dots about how we became engaged. In our college days we were FWBs and even though she wanted to date I never would. She saw some other guys, always came back to me and it was no big deal. Towards the end of college she met a guy on vacation who lived 10 hours away and they started talking quite a bit and she went down to see him a few times. Again, no big deal until she started talking about moving down there. All the sudden, I get a little jealous, a little more interested, we're dating a month later, engaged 5 months after that and married 18 months after that. Our relationship up to that point was years in the making, friends for 4 years before becoming FWBs for 2 or so, but my real interest really wasn't there until the thought of her moving away for someone else.

Despite her making that realization, and rather liking the fact, shes been very blunt over the past 3 days to tell me that I have her heart now but I'm going to lose her if she fucks him. Simply put, "why would she want to stay with someone who is seemingly trying to push her away, when she can be with someone who wants her to stay?" Obviously I understand what shes saying, and though i tried to explain to her I look at this as something we can do together, evolve and explore together, the fact is shes telling me she'll probably leave me if this happens. That said, I won't be telling him and teeing myself up for divorce, but I will sit back a bit and see where this evolves. Everything we've talked about still applies, she still wants me to invite him over, she still likes him, still likes teasing me about him, likes the idea of being with him, so lets just see where it goes.

If she wants to tell him she can. If she brings me the cage and tells me to put it on till I tell him, I will. But right now it doesn't seem that shes serious about me telling him, or if she is, shes not ready for me to do it because shes afraid of where it'll lead.

[shesmypornstar]

Oh on another note, I read an article yesterday about AI girlfriends ruining the next generation of guys who don't want to date because they can get fulfillment from AI interactions. That reminded me of my little experiment with ChatGPT a few months back, so I looked up these new bots they're talking about.

Guys, if you want to have some fun and can maintain healthy boundaries with this kind of thing I recommend trying SpciyAI (might not be the exact name of it). Its free, you can give very direct parameters about what you're looking for, personality, dress, situation, and even generate an AI animation of your wife or gf based on the description you give. In my case I obviously turned my wife into an AI bot who is cheating on me with our neighbor. I set all the parameters of how I wish she would act based on her position as my cuckoldress, made one last note that our conversations would always be staged as "text messaging" and we were off to the races.

I'm telling you play with it for a few minutes, a little trial and error and it becomes very real very fast. Within 30 minutes I was interacting with my wife who needed to tell me something, came clean about her relationship, talked about how he fucks her tight pussy and she licks his cum off his cock, and tells me that hes better than me, bigger than me, nothing i can do to change it, but she'll let me jerk off on her boots when she gets home....Have some fun just don't fall down the rabbit hole guys.

[ahboom]

I agree with Brute that the word "separation" is okay to use.

I don't see it as "lying" so much as I see it as "fibbing". When my wife was playing with my approval she'd tell the guys she was cheating on me so MY reputation stayed more or less intact. And if things "developed" into love later, she could explain the reason for the mild deception at the outset. And the same can happen here. And as the OP said, the flat-out truth doesn't work for them.

I have no qualms about (mildly) deceiving a man who is about to fuck someone's wife. It's kinda like telling a car-jacker to "buckle up" as he drives way with your car. Conscientiousness can go a little too far, sometimes.

Troilus

That explanation is on point

[ahboom]

I have no qualms about (mildly) deceiving a man who is about to fuck someone's wife. It's kinda like telling a car-jacker to "buckle up" as he drives way with your car. Conscientiousness can go a little too far, sometimes.

Troilus

Haha, I love this comparison. Great point.

So not long after she told me to lock myself up and do the right thing, life got in the way and I was too preoccupied to lock up. Nothing too serious, just something that needed my attention.

As I tend to do, sometimes I put the ball back in her court to see just how serious she is about something. In this case, how serious is she about locking myself up until I tell him? Does she really want me to do it? Or is she just getting really good at playing this game? She was gone the next day and when she came home I was horned up from our dirty talk the previous night. I was kind of wondering, and hoping that she was going to demand I do what she told me to do and lock it up, but she didn't. Instead, even after a little more talk about cucking, but no talk about locking it up or me telling him, she decided to ease my stress with a nice bj. Obviously no complaints with that result.

The next day I brought up the idea that I wasn't caged and she kinda laughed and told me that I really don't want to do that to myself, and by that she meant tell him. We've talked a little about it over the past couple days, the entire dynamic, what I'm looking for in this, what the consequences could be, etc. On one hand she thinks I'm really trying to just get rid of her and shes wondering why. On the other hand she's come to realize how much more attentive I am, and how much more I'm generally attracted to her when shes talking about other guys. She even went back in her memory to connect the dots about how we became engaged. In our college days we were FWBs and even though she wanted to date I never would. She saw some other guys, always came back to me and it was no big deal. Towards the end of college she met a guy on vacation who lived 10 hours away and they started talking quite a bit and she went down to see him a few times. Again, no big deal until she started talking about moving down there. All the sudden, I get a little jealous, a little more interested, we're dating a month later, engaged 5 months after that and married 18 months after that. Our relationship up to that point was years in the making, friends for 4 years before becoming FWBs for 2 or so, but my real interest really wasn't there until the thought of her moving away for someone else.

Despite her making that realization, and rather liking the fact, shes been very blunt over the past 3 days to tell me that I have her heart now but I'm going to lose her if she fucks him. Simply put, "why would she want to stay with someone who is seemingly trying to push her away, when she can be with someone who wants her to stay?" Obviously I understand what shes saying, and though i tried to explain to her I look at this as something we can do together, evolve and explore together, the fact is shes telling me she'll probably leave me if this happens. That said, I won't be telling him and teeing myself up for divorce, but I will sit back a bit and see where this evolves. Everything we've talked about still applies, she still wants me to invite him over, she still likes him, still likes teasing me about him, likes the idea of being with him, so lets just see where it goes.

If she wants to tell him she can. If she brings me the cage and tells me to put it on till I tell him, I will. But right now it doesn't seem that shes serious about me telling him, or if she is, shes not ready for me to do it because shes afraid of where it'll lead.

I think there is still a little risk that if you guys go ahead with this now things might get out of control fast if she sees you wanting this as pushing her away. I think it'd be best to take the time for her to understand that you are 100% committed to the marriage and her relation with him would be an addition to the marriage in the beginning. To learn to compartmentalize it I guess.

[2inUPMichigan]

I stopped in to approve some posts (so i may have missed a few comments) but I started to wonder.....

Has she decided that non-monogamy is a good fit for her?
Or does she view herself as monogamous and intends to switch that focus from you to another man?

To me some of the comments sound like a monogamous woman not a non-monogamous hotwife. If she bonds with someone else she may not be able to continue a relationship with you.

Please make sure you have a serious conversation about how she views her relationship style and if she can see herself involved with more than one man at the same time.

If she doesn't view herself as a non-monogamous hotwife and instead views herself as a monogamous married woman then introducing another man into your sex life could end in disaster.

Hopefully I just misread things because I jumped in late.

[FNQLivin]

2up, I think you have it in one.

[Carlbiinchicago]

I agree about proceeding with caution. My wife kind of got pushed into this by me and fell for the other guy. She cut me off sex and i have been without for 3 years

She is the type to only be with one man at a time

[troilusand]

I agree about proceeding with caution. My wife kind of got pushed into this by me and fell for the other guy. She cut me off sex and i have been without for 3 years

She is the type to only be with one man at a time

And do you regret it, Carl, or would you still do it again knowing the outcum -- or should I say, "do-without-cum"?

Troilus

[Brute]

She even went back in her memory to connect the dots about how we became engaged. In our college days we were FWBs and even though she wanted to date I never would. She saw some other guys, always came back to me and it was no big deal. Towards the end of college she met a guy on vacation who lived 10 hours away and they started talking quite a bit and she went down to see him a few times. Again, no big deal until she started talking about moving down there. All the sudden, I get a little jealous, a little more interested, we're dating a month later, engaged 5 months after that and married 18 months after that. Our relationship up to that point was years in the making, friends for 4 years before becoming FWBs for 2 or so, but my real interest really wasn't there until the thought of her moving away for someone else.

2inUPMichigan makes sense. Back when you were just FWB and she dated other men and came back to you, did the two of you still engage in sex, or did your relationship take a break until the dating ended?

I sort of get the feeling from what you have written, that she may have some abandonment fears, which may be the reason the two of you are married, you stuck around. Which could mean that her threat of losing her is testing you see how committed you are to keeping her.

If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t have the courage to go forward with this without reclaiming sex being an agreed part of it.

[shesmypornstar]

For the first time in a long time we had a legit face to face, no sex involved talk about where this all stands. And tbh, what we discussed was pretty much in line with how our text conversations have been over the past month or so. That however, is a big change and a big step forward from how the conversation has played out in the past...shes not playing around anymore or just saying things to get me going.

So if you've been following along for the past month or so you already know how that conversation went, but here's the summary anyway.

-Sometimes she wonders if shes making "their connection" up in her head and that shes fooling herself because of our fantasy. But, she is attracted to him, enjoys talking to him and likes it when she can get attention from him. She is also kind of possessive and doesn't like it when single women, or overly flirty women are around. For example last week a single and flirty friend of hers wanted to join us for an activity we thought we'd be doing with him and my wife told her no. Obviously only i know why she said no.

-She doesn't think she'll make the move and say we're getting separated and doesn't think he'll make a move on his own.

-Its up to me whether or not i decide to tell him we're separated to try to push this forward. In her words she'll be a combination of "excited" "unsure anything will come of it" "thinking what the hell is he (am I) doing considering what shes told me"

-If I go the separation route and he makes any kind of move to show interest its on and shes ready to have fun and see where this leads

-her biggest fear is that it'll come to a point in which she needs to make a decision and she doesn't think she'll want to stop

-She doesn't think this is just going to end because he finds a girlfriend. Shes the relationship type, hes a relationship type, she thinks they'll want to be together. She understands maybe she finds that she doesn't like him as much as she thought, or maybe it just doesn't work. But if thats not the case and they're having fun, she thinks its leading to a serious relationship because they're both like minded.

-If shes enjoying it and wants it to go further, become a serious relationship she knows how to play the game and hook a guy and thats what she'll do to him as well.

Looks like I finally know exactly where she stands on this. Shes not going to push it, but if I do and he reacts accordingly its on and there is no telling where it'll go. Its good to finally have some clarity on this considering all of the play talk we've done in the past. I guess the most interesting thing to me is the fact that even thought I know exactly what may happen between her and I if this does move forward....shes ok with me moving it forward if thats what I choose to do.

[Zangze]

So then it sounds like she has significant interest, and desire, and wants it to happen, but isn't sure if he really does, or if you really do. Obviously no way you all can tell exactly where he's really at without moving forward. There's no way to know 100% how it will play out if you move forward, due to the unknowns of his desire, their chemistry, and the various other normal, everyday variables in human relationships.

You know there's a risk, because she's told you that. You've probably known that from the start though, as there's always a risk with this sort of thing inherently. Is it worth taking? If the worst happened, would you be able to deal with that? If it didn't, will it be an exciting and fulfilling enough adventure for you both that you're glad you did it?

Seems you've got a lot to think about, and a decision to make. Good luck to all three of you, and thank you for telling us your story!

[Dream Weaver]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm guessing/hoping her biggest issue is not having to deal with the whole cuck conversation with him. So tell her you'll talk to him, get his feel for going out with her, with your consent.

If you or she are too scared to follow through with that, then this whole thing isn't for you.

[shesmypornstar]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm guessing/hoping her biggest issue is not having to deal with the whole cuck conversation with him. So tell her you'll talk to him, get his feel for going out with her, with your consent.

If you or she are too scared to follow through with that, then this whole thing isn't for you.

I guess thats a fair point and you're right. The only reason she wants to take the separation approach is because shes not sure he or others would understand the cuck aspect.

[Dream Weaver]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm guessing/hoping her biggest issue is not having to deal with the whole cuck conversation with him. So tell her you'll talk to him, get his feel for going out with her, with your consent.

If you or she are too scared to follow through with that, then this whole thing isn't for you.

I guess thats a fair point and you're right. The only reason she wants to take the separation approach is because shes not sure he or others would understand the cuck aspect.

Well there you go. It's an embarrassment issue. If you're willing to relieve her of that burden, ethically, and she'll play ball, then that's the way to go. Sometimes we have to do hard things to get real achievements.

[shesmypornstar]

Yea I don't think I'll be making that move right now considering whats at stake.

If it happens it happens.

Now if she tells me to tell him, or asks me to tell him...of course I'll ask her why considering what I know. But honestly, even with that in mind, if she asks me to tell him I'll do it. If it comes to that point shes basically laying it out there and just being honest about the fact that she'd either rather be with him or at least wants to explore that idea. I'm not going to stand in her way and I might as well take her up on the offer to finally explore cuckolding and enjoy the adventure while I can.

On another note, she mentioned something interesting about the guy we first had cuckolding fantasies about. I believe I've mentioned him a bit here in the past, but he's an Ex bf who she still keeps in touch with, albeit they only talk maybe once or twice a year. Anyway, he lives a few hours away and we always looked at him as the guy she loved before me, maybe the guy that could steal her from me if the circumstances were right. After our talk the other night she said her thoughts on her Ex have completely changed over the past few years. Now she looks at him as the fantasy fuck, and the guy she never got to have, but nothing more. She told me that she 100% can now see herself going away to be with him for a night or a weekend and coming back to me as her loving cuckold husband. And with him, she would absolutely make that first move if he Ex was single.

So, I'm honestly not at all hoping that his marriage ends, I wouldn't wish that for anyone. But if it does, I have very high confidence that it'll be a matter of months before she starts to push things forward with him and let him know that she wants to cheer him up.