she has feelings?

[shesmypornstar]

its been a while since my last post, and for the most part theres never really been anything serious to talk about. Shes known about my interest in this lifestyle for about 10 years now, and although shes entertained me with fictional stories, shes always said its not for her.

Well this past summer she expressed some interest and attraction to a guy in our neighborhood. She told me back then that she won't, but if she were going to do this with anyone that this guy would be the best bet. We started seeing this guy at events we all had to attend on a regular basis and my wife actually started putting more time and effort into her look to impress him. She would joke with me beforehand or during sex that she couldn't wait to see him again to flirt more and make herself available, but in reality she never actually put herself out there. That is partially due to us being married and him not assuming anything, and him having a girlfriend.

Anyway fast forward to this past weekend. We're having sex and right after she reaches climax she tells me that we're in trouble. I ask why and she says that shes thought about him every-time that we've had sex for the past three months in order to get herself to climax. I immediately climax but then we both kind of let the topic go aside from her telling me she had a dream of him recently and it wasn't the typical sex dream, it was more like a relationship dream with feelings and such.

So onto today and we're kind of talking about it and she said I should have a problem with the fact that she can't climax without thinking about him. I told her that i do but A) I've been asking for this so its my fault and B) its still a turn on for me. The wildcard in this is that for 10 years shes told me she'll never do this but if she does that i should be worried because that means she has feelings. Now it appears that she might be catching feelings for this guy who is also obviously doing something for her sexually, if only in her head. Not sure if i should be hopeful that she does this, or that she doesn't, but either way things are getting interesting.

[subbieCuck]

Thanks for sharing!

Well, feelings is a strange world. Depending on the definition you give, she might or not have feelings.(feelings = sexual attraction or feelings = love) But the most important part is that it is nothing to be ashamed of, be discouraged or need to repress. The fact that she told you her latest fantasies, is an indication that you have an open and healthy relation.

If I were you, I would first think what I really want, knowing the risks surrounding the cuckold fantasy (ie divorce) and the benefits (joy). Since you are having cuckold fantasies for over 10 years, I 'd say, go for it. Let her try it if she really wants it. I wouldnt mind her having feelings be it love or sexual attraction- but that is just me.

[DavaoMike]

I’m about 30 years older than my Filipina wife, Maricel, so my libido has waned quite a bit. I’m happy with sex about every three weeks. Maricel’s boyfriend, Adam, is about her age, and they make love almost daily. I’m never “denied,” as I make love with Maricel as often as I like. However, Adam has become Maricel’s primary sex partner by default.

I have absolutely no problem with the fact that my wife has deep loving feelings for Adam, who has lived with us for over 4 years. I’ve never felt that Maricel’s love for Adam has, in any way, compromised her love for me. Everyone is happy.

DM

[elina]

I would suggest that your priorities should be:

1) Show your wife how much you love Her, tell Her that you will always love Her.
Give Her flowers and be a nice and attentive husband. (Regardless of the other options here).
2) Next, make up your mind; If you want to become a Cuckold, this is your chance.
If you stop this now, you may never get a second chance.
3) If you decide that you want to be a cuckold; you may want to tell Your Wife that from what you have read,
it is quite normal for a Lady who takes a lover that She has feelings for her lover as well,
in fact, for many Ladies this is the best way to truly enjoy having a lover.
You want Her to enjoy Herself, tell Her how sexy She is and how much you love Her and want Her to be able to enjoy a lover.
4)
5) Try to seduce Her and tell Her that you are so grateful that She shared with you that She was thinking
of Her potential lover when the two of you were having sex and that this was really hot for you.
Lick Her pussy, make Her really hot, then as you are about to enter Her ask Her if She is now hot and thinking about Her potential over again.
5) Tell her that you want to stay completely faithful to Her and you want Her to tell you everything that is going on.
6) Tell Her that as long as She is open about everything with you, you think you can handle this and that the two of you will not be in
trouble as a couple, but that it will change the dynamics of the relationship where your Wife will be more in control of both Her own and your sex
life.

Just some thoughts, I don't know your Wife and I don't know you; so you have to be the one to decide if you think this will work for the two of you.

Please keep posting regardless of what happens and what doesnt happen.

Sincerely
elina
(Submissive male)

[Christinebitg]

In my mind, the real question is, "Will she be able to stay married to you while fucking him?" Notice that I said will SHE be able to do that.

Some people can handle it, and some can't. Based on how she described it to you, she may feel obligated to divorce you and possibly marry him, to carry on a sexual relationship with him.

That is obviously not what you'd like to see happen. At some point (sooner rather than later, hopefully) you'll be able to talk with her about what YOU'D like. And to find out if she can envision doing that for real.

[desertsub]

Some women are very capable of having feelings for more than one guy and juggle that with maintaining a relationship with only one of them. My wife is like that. Although she prefers having sex with guys with no emotional attachment at all, there is that one guy! She had a boyfriend before I met her that helped her get away from a very abusive first husband (Probably saved her life). She has always stayed in touch with him and I met him early on in our marriage. She started fucking him again several years ago with my blessing. After she started having sex with him again I noticed that when ever she talked on the phone with him she always told him she loved him before hanging up. I asked her about it, and sh told me that she has always had deep feelings for him, and always will. She also assured me that she could never live with him (didn't explain why) and that he would never be a threat to our marriage, even though she loved him.

The thing is, it takes a level of maturity to deal with that sort of thing that some women may never reach.

[shesmypornstar]

Thanks for all the feedback. I guess looking back at our conversation about her dream, she described it as a dream with a "spark" and not in a sexual way. I do think she wants to explore this more, at least put it out there to him that shes interested and see where he goes with it. But, like I mentioned he has a gf so shes hesitant to do that.

She has always said that she couldn't just have sex with someone that she didn't have some kind of connection with. But, with that shes always said that if she finds that guy to have sex with then "what would she need me for" because if she has interest in having sex with him then she obviously has feelings for him as well. I guess to that point whether she described her dream as a "spark" or "feelings" the fact that she wishes that she could pursue him tells me that there is something there beyond attraction.

Looking back at our small talks about him, at times she approaches the idea as fun with him and coming back home to me, but at times shes said that it'd only be a matter of time before she leaves me to live with him. For me there is a sense of both apprehension and excitement to the idea that she would want to leave me for someone else which is obviously very confusing for me.

[2inUPMichigan]

There are many levels of feelings. But what she has to decide is if she can become a hotwife which means accepting herself as nonmonogamous.

The problems occur if she can only see herself as monogamous and can't imagine herself with a primary relationship and a fun playmate or two on the side (or a boyfriend if the two if you decide that is the route for you).

Can she see herself as nonmonogamous? That us the important question to answer first. If she can't then it is time to decide if this needs to stay in your bedroom and never go any further for either if you.

[Jezza2543]

Looking back at our small talks about him, at times she approaches the idea as fun with him and coming back home to me, but at times shes said that it'd only be a matter of time before she leaves me to live with him. For me there is a sense of both apprehension and excitement to the idea that she would want to leave me for someone else which is obviously very confusing for me.

Sounds exciting! We did something similar, at first she was against cuckolding me, then she met a guy she liked and went for it in a big way! 2 years of an intense relationship followed with my full encouragement. We discussed them being in love ,me being cut off and her becoming his. Then all of a sudden it went into overdrive, meets got more and more regular, they declared mutual love and my wife was infatuated with him. She wanted to leave me for him. On the one hand, i was really turned on with the idea of being replaced by her superior lover but apprehensive at the same time. The other problem was that he didn’t want to leave his wife and finished it. she then considered leaving me to be single (which I didn’t want) and somehow we are still together atm. All that said, it was one hell of a ride, if you think it is for you, light the touch paper, step back and watch the fireworks - who knows where it will end up… as my wife reminded me often “you wanted this and agreed to accept the consequences!”

[becontree2001uk]

A lot of if, buts and maybes here. The guy has a GF and he may have a great loving relationship with her - flirting is one thing but going further maybe a no-no. The fantasy your wife has about this guy is just that - in reality it may not be so great.

[shesmypornstar]

A lot of if, buts and maybes here. The guy has a GF and he may have a great loving relationship with her - flirting is one thing but going further maybe a no-no. The fantasy your wife has about this guy is just that - in reality it may not be so great.

You're not at all wrong. Though it is exciting for me because this is the first guy she has expressed interest in, we do see him, and they do have open lines of communication. So his gf aside, i think the ingredients are there. One note on the gf, I'm fairly certain that its not that serious between them, though I could be wrong.

On another note, shes been pretty open about being frustrated that there's a guy she wants to fuck but can't. Even wanting to fuck another guy is a first for her and the fact that hes a friend makes it a real possibility and shes just waiting for an opening. Going beyond the idea of just wanting to fuck him, she told me about a dream she had the other day in which she left me for a relationship with him.

[cuckjay]

This is hot!! /Following

[shesmypornstar]

So another brief conversation last night about her opening up to the idea of being with someone else. Shes been very specific the last few times we've had sex to mention that she really wonders what sex would be like with someone else. This goes beyond the talking shes done about her crush, which shes had her eyes on since the summer and has consistently talked about during or after sex without fail since maybe October.

But last night, just like the past 5-6 times we've had sex she made the general comment that she really wants to know what sex would be like with someone else, not necessarily him, but just anyone else. The caveat to that is shes still set on the idea she wouldn't have a hookup, she wants to know what sex is like with someone else in a relationship. So I had to ask, on a scale of 1-10 how curious are you because you've been bringing this up a lot? She says that on a day to day basis when not thinking about sex its like a 2, when we're having sex its maybe a 3, but when we're climaxing and its over shes at a 5. The numbers don't seem overly alarming, its just interesting because shes been so consistent in bringing this up. She also mentioned that she wouldn't ruin what we have, and leave me to have a relationship with someone else, but shes getting more curious and admits to thinking about what life in general would be like with someone else. Those are obviously 2 conflicting statements.

She was sure to tell me that there's nothing wrong with our sex life. She enjoys sex with me, but aside from 1 other long term boyfriend that she had back in HS, him and I are the only 2 people shes had sex with multiple times. She had sex with a few other guys in her younger days, but they were 1 night stands.

Its just all around interesting. On one side shes finally curious about sex with other people. On the other side there is finally a guy that she wants to sleep with, and has admitted to daydreaming about being in a relationship with. And regardless of which one shes talking about, shes been sure to bring one idea or the other up consistently for about 4-5 months now.

[Brute]

Just curious, does the element of risk in damaging your relationship excite you or make you hesitant?

[shesmypornstar]

Just curious, does the element of risk in damaging your relationship excite you or make you hesitant?

Both. My interest started more towards the hotwife concept almost 10 years ago and has since moved more towards cuckolding. I think my interest in cuckolding along with such a long wait to get to this point has me extremely intrigued and excited, but i obviously don't want to do serious damage to our relationship.

[shesmypornstar]

Small update but it appears they've been texting a bit more when I'm not around. From the sounds of it shes been the one going out of her way to start small conversations. Completely innocent, but the face that shes starting small conversations with him at least opens the door to him maybe thinking there's more to it. I know if I was in his position I would wonder why this married woman is going out of her way to text me. She stands by the idea that she won't step out and actually do anything, but she does find it a bit exciting even if the talk is innocent.

[hwc]

shesmypornstar, you said:


"Looking back at our small talks about him, at times she approaches the idea as fun with him and coming back home to me, but at times shes said that it'd only be a matter of time before she leaves me to live with him. For me there is a sense of both apprehension and excitement to the idea that she would want to leave me for someone else which is obviously very confusing for me."

could you please expand on these conversations, and how you felt about them?
Does the risk deter you, give you pause for thought, or would you encourage her to have a relationship? Would you tell her that to fulfil your fantasy, you are willing for her to pursue a relationship with this crush? Could you agree that you will not put any restrictions on their relationship and could accept the consequences of encouraging her to have a boyfriend, outside of your own relationship?

[yahoonick]

Really awesome makings of a great thread. Hope you continue

[4incheslong]

My wife could only climax thinking of other men. I would encourage it with talk about other guys. One day she said that she would like to fuck a neighbor of ours. They would talk alone at parties and even when I was there it was very sexual talk from her. She told me that if she did fuck him it would be in a poly relationship, and she became obsessed with him. One day he was working on a patio for her mother and she showed up in her tennis outfit. She slipped off her panties when she pulled up and sat in a lounge chair as he worked. She acted like she was getting sun as she talked with him but she pulled one leg up so he could see up her skirt. She said she could see his boner in his pants. Her mother was gone so she led him inside and let him fuck her. She said he was a horny guy and wanted to fuck her constantly. She kept it from me however and didn't tell me for a long time. She said it was just hotter if it was secret. She has been open to other lovers our entire marriage but really never lets me participate in any way and denies everything even if I have proof. I am completely cut off now and am trying to figure out what to do.

[MrPepeLePew]

So onto today and we're kind of talking about it and she said I should have a problem with the fact that she can't climax without thinking about him. I told her that i do but A) I've been asking for this so its my fault and B) its still a turn on for me.

This isn't a criticism just making a point. Be sure you treat her feelings as exciting and encouraged by you and not something that's "wrong" and "your fault". She's having strong feelings she wants to be with someone else and is conflicted like most would be in her position. Your job is to support her (if you want her to go forward with it) and reassure her until she takes the next step.

I wouldn't get too wrapped around the axle whether she wants to be in love with someone else and what those feelings mean. She probably only associates sex with a committed relationship and is adding a bit of noise to the convo. Cross that bridge when you come to it would be my advice.

My wife definitely needs to feel a romantic attachment or bond with her partner or the sex just isn't that great. She's probably going to eventually find someone she falls in love with. But I have 100% confidence she can love us both and don't believe I'm ever going to leave her life, so I'm going to encourage her in that direction.

[shesmypornstar]

shesmypornstar, you said:


"Looking back at our small talks about him, at times she approaches the idea as fun with him and coming back home to me, but at times shes said that it'd only be a matter of time before she leaves me to live with him. For me there is a sense of both apprehension and excitement to the idea that she would want to leave me for someone else which is obviously very confusing for me."

could you please expand on these conversations, and how you felt about them?
Does the risk deter you, give you pause for thought, or would you encourage her to have a relationship? Would you tell her that to fulfil your fantasy, you are willing for her to pursue a relationship with this crush? Could you agree that you will not put any restrictions on their relationship and could accept the consequences of encouraging her to have a boyfriend, outside of your own relationship?

We've had this conversation multiple times in different ways and more often than not I'm completely supportive of the idea. I've always given her reassurance that if she wanted to be in a relationship with another man I would still love her and accept my new role whatever that may be. She almost always counters that by saying she wouldn't have a need for me aside from our friendship and that she certainly can't promise she'll want to even tease or entertain me with some details of her potential new relationship. For some reason, and I can't explain it, I do find some excitement in the idea that she would 100% cut me off and just leave me for another man. Do i want that to happen, no, but the idea can be exciting.

There have been a lot of little developments in the last 3-4 weeks. As recently a month ago, if there was a questions to be asked or comment to be made (general life type talk) she would insist that I text her crush because it would be odd for her to text him directly. But just last week I found out that shes has some small text conversations with him (as I mentioned in an earlier post) and it sounds like she is the one who initiated.

A few weeks back we went out as a group and I stayed back in the car for 10-15 mins to take care of some business while they went in together with the rest of the group. This past weekend her and I went back to that same place for a night together and she referred to it as the place of their first date. It was a hot little tease but also interesting because of this next point.

We've had a lot of talks lately about our relationship and I've come to realize that we aren't or haven't been as stable as I would have thought. We've both talked or maybe joked about a future divorce. My joking coming from a place of the stereotypical husband you see on tv who pretends he isn't happy with his wife...her joking coming from a place in which she doesn't have faith that I'll always be here for her so she wants to get out on her terms. Lets just say her joking comments were more than just jokes. Add to that her increasing interest in other guys and me pushing her towards the idea of other men. You can see how that doesn't lead to a healthy relationship. We ultimately both decided to put the brakes on the idea of her being with other guys, put the divorce thoughts aside, and focus on us and showing each other love. Its only been 2 weeks, but its been going very well and I think we've both been genuinely happy, having more sex than ever, and for the most part avoided talk about her crush.

So that takes us back to her comments about her first date. She has always been the one hesitant to really give the cucking life a try. We had a really good conversation about us and she wanted to stop the talk about her being with another guy. But, since agreeing to stop talking about other guys, she brought up her "first date" and shes left her phone out in a way that seems like shes just asking me to go check her texts. Last night being the most obvious situation when she left it on my side of the bed while she took a shower. When she came back out she asked me if I looked at her texts to check in on her. I told her no and that I trust her to which she had a little laugh and said that if i trust her its because shes never done anything to break my trust. Its all honestly probably nothing, but i do find it interesting that shes brought him up a few times since apparently moving on from the idea to focus on us.

[wasaam]

So why you don't arrange a date for both of them

[shesmypornstar]

So a quick update from today and I'm a bit rushed so I can't cover all the details. Her neighborhood crush was out of town and asked me if I could pick up a package that was delivered yesterday and just sitting on his porch. Sure not a problem, so the package is at our house today and he texts asking when he could come get it. I wasn't going to be home for 2 more hours but my wife was home so i said that he could get it anytime but that i wouldn't be around till later.

I admit that I gave him the option to come when she was home because it would be an exciting thought for me even though she no longer wants to talk about him like that.

So of course he picks it up while I'm away and nothing happened, but i didn't expect anything would. So again she brings him up for the 4-5th time since declaring that she didn't want to talk about this topic and asks if it made me sad or jealous. I ask her why she keeps bringing him up if she doesn't want to talk about him, and we have a little back and forth. There's definitely more to it than what shes willing to admit, but the most i could get from her was "I didn't say that I don't like him anymore"

I can get into it more later and hopefully by then I'll know more

[hwc]

Once you get the bug, it is very difficult to shake it off, isn't it? Particularly if the jealousy fuels your need for something to happen. Have you thought of encouraging her to go on a date with him? Perhaps you could buy her some new clothes that you both think are make her look hot and try and set something up....

[shesmypornstar]

Once you get the bug, it is very difficult to shake it off, isn't it? Particularly if the jealousy fuels your need for something to happen. Have you thought of encouraging her to go on a date with him? Perhaps you could buy her some new clothes that you both think are make her look hot and try and set something up....

Yes, extremely difficult to shake the thought. Like I said, this has been on my mind for almost 10 years, shes just now starting to possibly come around to the idea.

I would welcome the chance to take her shopping and pick out some clothes for a date, but I don't think the timing is right for me to try and set that date up. At times I have thought that he thinks something is up with us, or just the fact that shes overly nice and almost flirty with him even when I'm around. She has expressed the same thoughts, but nobody has broken the ice and said anything.

So back to our conversation the other night after she brought him up again and I called her out on it. We had a pretty good talk and she assured me that nothing is going on between them. I assured her that I'm ok with it either way and that I would support her if she chose to make a move. One thing that is odd about our conversation is that despite her reassurance that nothing is going on and that she doesn't plan on pursuing him or anyone else, she made sure to tell me that she is capable of lying to me and doing something 100% behind my back if she wanted to.

Now I think part of that comes from a place of revenge (I did have an affair and we've worked through that), and because she knows she has the ok from me to do what she wants, I think not telling me is the piece she'll enjoy as revenge. She claims part of it would be to make sure that she isn't the reason we were to get divorce, which doesn't make sense to me considering she's had the green light for 10 years. So I guess the odd part is that she claims shes not having an affair, won't pursue an affair, doesn't think its healthy to talk about her being with other men, but tells me that she'll lie if she has to which obviously just keeps me guessing and keeps the topic on my mind.

I don't know if she just put that out there as a warning and something to keep in mind, if shes just mind-fucking me, or if she's really doing something or plans on it. My gut says that its a warning, nonetheless its been an interesting couple of weeks.