If you asked her to stop, would she?

[LawyerWouldbeCuckold]

IDK....I"m not even in this lifestyle, and I've never even been married; but reading the above responses, IMHO......

I kind of get the feeling that marriages, like most significant relationships, evolve over time.

I've had several "sugardad/Sugarbabe" relationships, where it was "Mutually beneficial", but eventually, they morphed into friendships, where she and I would hang out together, nothing physical occurred, and the only compensation involved was me paying for a sitter or something like that.

Not sure if the analogy is appropriate; but it's the closest one that comes to mind.

I remember reading something on social media where someone was asked about how he stayed married to the same woman for five or six decades, and his response was that during the marriage, his wife changed into like seven or eight different people, and he learned to love every one of them.

I'm assuming that as people change, their needs change. And their goals and values change.

Speaking just for myself, I had certain goals when I joined the military. Eventually, my values changed, so my goals changed, and my military career still ended in a good way; but differently than what i had originally envisioned. The goals I set for myself in the military changed. So the outcomes changed.

I can certainly see how a couple can start a cuckold or hotwife journey, so to speak, and both have certain goals, but then each person changes as a person; and their goals change. That will then change the hotwife/cuckold journey.

But each couple has to do what works for themselves and their relationship. One of the extremely valuable things I have learned from this
Board is that there is no 'one size fits all'

JMHO......

[4herpleasure89]

Agreed so dogmatic one size fits all responses can be dismissed out of hand.

[SubhubV]

This just came up over the last week for us. I was struggling with her regular, and his behaviors, asked her to not go one evening when we had had a struggle between us. She went anyway. It really hurt. Caused probably the biggest fight we have ever had in our ten years together. Ultimately, it ended that relationship for them…I can share my wife, but I will not tolerate disrespect and that was her and I agreement going into this. During the argument, the subject came up about stopping the lifestyle, and we agreed it probably wouldn’t happen and if it did, it would lead to resentments. So, we made the choice to move on and learn from the experience to better our relationship and not get into troubled situations like that again within the lifestyle.

[Wisher]

And that's exactly why the question was worded to be so open ended.

No one can predict how they may change over time.

[dark_perv]

Speaking solely for myself and my relationship with my Wife; the simple answer is "No." She would not stop dating other men.
I knew long before we got married that She was dating, sleeping with, fucking other men. It's a part of why I love Her so much.
In a marriage you have to pick and choose your battles.

[amayzed]

Our 'arrangement' is predicated on her being 'in control', regardless of what I might or might not want and in spite of any objections I might have, and my having no means to prevent her from doing whatever she wants to do. In fact, it is implicitly stated that any implied or expressed objections on my part should be ignored and she should proceed to do as she pleases anyway, using any means necessary to compel me to go along with it or perform/participate as she desires. Any 'objections' on my part are to be considered a 'challenge' to do it anyway (if she wants to).

So, if I were to 'ask' her to stop I would not expect her to, or want her to stop. If she were to stop, it would break the whole scenario. This is probably too extreme for some people, but it works for us.

This is the root of what turns me on about our relationship with the proviso that this freedom of activitiy with other men is intended to strengthen rather than diminish the bond we have together.

For her that "she can and I can't" feels right though she is less into the power and control aspect than I . She mostly feels I am generous for letting her do whatever she wants.

[Minnhotwife]

Our 'arrangement' is predicated on her being 'in control', regardless of what I might or might not want and in spite of any objections I might have, and my having no means to prevent her from doing whatever she wants to do. In fact, it is implicitly stated that any implied or expressed objections on my part should be ignored and she should proceed to do as she pleases anyway, using any means necessary to compel me to go along with it or perform/participate as she desires. Any 'objections' on my part are to be considered a 'challenge' to do it anyway (if she wants to).

So, if I were to 'ask' her to stop I would not expect her to, or want her to stop. If she were to stop, it would break the whole scenario. This is probably too extreme for some people, but it works for us.

This is the root of what turns me on about our relationship with the proviso that this freedom of activitiy with other men is intended to strengthen rather than diminish the bond we have together.

For her that "she can and I can't" feels right though she is less into the power and control aspect than I . She mostly feels I am generous for letting her do whatever she wants.

Thanks for these perspectives and insights. I think these hit on two of the major points with this lifestyle or relationship structure. We just had this conversation a day or so ago. My wife considers being with other men a part of who she is at her core and how she presents herself to the world. There is no going back from her point of view and has made her feel more alive and sexual than anything else in our marriage. From more provocative outfits to being more submissive in a sexual setting, it has brought out a side of her I have never seen nor realized existed. Both super erotic and a little scary if truth be told. It's feeling more like a stag/cuck relationship by the day.

[Cory87]

She would stop because it's part of the agreement we made before getting started. We talked a ton and made a set of rules and agreements that would allow her to have fun and PROTECT our marriage. Our arrangemet is very vanilla and very straight compared to most of what i have read on this site. I don't wear a cage or engage in homosexual activities with my wifes lover and we make him wear condoms every time because its another one of our rules.

[ucaneffher]

So this thread popped up in my list of threads here and I guess I might as well start adding for woman/attempt number 2 at the lifestyle.she is not quite a hot girlfriend/cuckoldress yet but we both are on the same page regarding the lifestyle.

She has already decided and told me that she wants this and she wants it for the long term. In other words, she told me that I can accept her how she is and know that she will always have men on the side or i can walk if I can't handle her never being exclusive and monogamous.

Yep, you've guessed it. I'm definitely not walking away from this. It's not an IF she will be with other men but more of a when.. she reassured me that it's only a matter of time and hopes that I'm sure that I can handle her and all the lovers she plans to get.

I love rollercoasters and can't wait.

[Minnhotwife]

So this thread popped up in my list of threads here and I guess I might as well start adding for woman/attempt number 2 at the lifestyle.she is not quite a hot girlfriend/cuckoldress yet but we both are on the same page regarding the lifestyle.

She has already decided and told me that she wants this and she wants it for the long term. In other words, she told me that I can accept her how she is and know that she will always have men on the side or i can walk if I can't handle her never being exclusive and monogamous.

Yep, you've guessed it. I'm definitely not walking away from this. It's not an IF she will be with other men but more of a when.. she reassured me that it's only a matter of time and hopes that I'm sure that I can handle her and all the lovers she plans to get.

I love rollercoasters and can't wait.

Thanks for the post. Join the club with so many of us boyfriends/husbands. Once most women get a taste of ENM in any form from swinging to hotwife or poly, even if they want to go back physically the mental component is still there. My wife took a several year break from ENM and then brought it back up again out of the blue. And now here we are on the path to poly, which I never thought my wife would even like let alone want for a relationship.

If it's something giving our wives/girlfriends so much pleasure and getting needs/wants met, why would we want them to stop? Now if our needs are not being met, that's another story and not okay.

[ucaneffher]

So this thread popped up in my list of threads here and I guess I might as well start adding for woman/attempt number 2 at the lifestyle.she is not quite a hot girlfriend/cuckoldress yet but we both are on the same page regarding the lifestyle.

She has already decided and told me that she wants this and she wants it for the long term. In other words, she told me that I can accept her how she is and know that she will always have men on the side or i can walk if I can't handle her never being exclusive and monogamous.

Yep, you've guessed it. I'm definitely not walking away from this. It's not an IF she will be with other men but more of a when.. she reassured me that it's only a matter of time and hopes that I'm sure that I can handle her and all the lovers she plans to get.

I love rollercoasters and can't wait.

Thanks for the post. Join the club with so many of us boyfriends/husbands. Once most women get a taste of ENM in any form from swinging to hotwife or poly, even if they want to go back physically the mental component is still there. My wife took a several year break from ENM and then brought it back up again out of the blue. And now here we are on the path to poly, which I never thought my wife would even like let alone want for a relationship.

If it's something giving our wives/girlfriends so much pleasure and getting needs/wants met, why would we want them to stop? Now if our needs are not being met, that's another story and not okay.

Absolutely! Why would anyone want to stop doing something they enjoy??

Honestly though, i had an opportunity to live this lifestyle for 7 beautiful years and i wouldn't change that for anything in the world and hope that I can experience it for a lifetime and not just a few years like I did previously.

I really hope that I'm signing up for a lifetime with her and of her being promiscuous. I would totally be open for a poly relationship if it meant my wife got all the love, sex, and affection that made her happy. I would not be opposed to sharing her emotionally as long as I'm involved.

She really does look like she wants to embrace this lifestyle and has been proactive about it by doing research, watching lifestyle porn, talking about it and her desires, and the scariest but most exciting: anyone can find my girlfriend on most dating platforms. I'm sure my friends or coworkers have probably spotted her already but I don't care.

[Chrislydi]

Absolutely! Why would anyone want to stop doing something they enjoy??

Honestly though, i had an opportunity to live this lifestyle for 7 beautiful years and i wouldn't change that for anything in the world and hope that I can experience it for a lifetime and not just a few years like I did previously.

I really hope that I'm signing up for a lifetime with her and of her being promiscuous. I would totally be open for a poly relationship if it meant my wife got all the love, sex, and affection that made her happy. I would not be opposed to sharing her emotionally as long as I'm involved.

She really does look like she wants to embrace this lifestyle and has been proactive about it by doing research, watching lifestyle porn, talking about it and her desires, and the scariest but most exciting: anyone can find my girlfriend on most dating platforms. I'm sure my friends or coworkers have probably spotted her already but I don't care.

I've been fascinated by the evolution of your relationship as she really turns huntress, actively seeking out these potential new boyfriends. You've been absolutely brilliant in giving us your thoughts at every step of the way, making it clear you share these same aims. This is perhaps an even better situation as she led the way before you even made it clear it was your wish too.

Please ucaneffher keep updating your journey on any new developments in your own thread. In fact it can even be worthwhile updating with your own thoughts despite no major progress, sometimes the little things tell us more.

Link to ucaneffher's new story

viewtopic.php?t=61546&start=250

[blind sided hubby]

My wife would never stop. She might agree to stop but she would continue screwing around behind my back. Once a woman starts having other lovers she is always on the hunt for new and bigger cocks.

[Des 31]

Some husbands here have said they wish their wives would stop but find they're excited about it when their wives continue fucking other men. My wife has said she would stop if I asked. I don't want her to do that, and she admits it would be difficult now that she has become accustomed to having sex with whoever she wishes. That has become an ordinary part of our married life.

If she tells me she wishes to stop, I will go along with her wishes. It's her decision and I have no right to demand otherwise.

[gordon921]

This question has no context around it, why did the husband ask the hotwife to stop...
I think what most answers on here has missed it the reason why the husband has asked the hotwife to stop..
Most assume the husband has woken up and says please stop, would not be surprised if she said no.
But would she have the same answer if the husband woke up and said sorry I can't handle this anymore, if you carry on we need to divorce, some may answer the same but suspect a lot would stop and go back to a vanilla lifestyle.

[Kayscuck89]

I don’t think she would stop unless there was some valid reason. She’s told me if I suddenly didn’t want to do this anymore she would probably just cheat behind my back. Sounds horrible I know but she is who she is and I’ve accepted who she is. Me turning around and asking her to stop would not be accepting who she is anymore.

[gordon921]

I don’t think she would stop unless there was some valid reason. She’s told me if I suddenly didn’t want to do this anymore she would probably just cheat behind my back. Sounds horrible I know but she is who she is and I’ve accepted who she is. Me turning around and asking her to stop would not be accepting who she is anymore.

So saying if you carry on/cheat I'll divorce you.. would that be a valid reason? Are you that insignificant in her life?

[Kayscuck89]

I don’t think she would stop unless there was some valid reason. She’s told me if I suddenly didn’t want to do this anymore she would probably just cheat behind my back. Sounds horrible I know but she is who she is and I’ve accepted who she is. Me turning around and asking her to stop would not be accepting who she is anymore.

So saying if you carry on/cheat I'll divorce you.. would that be a valid reason? Are you that insignificant in her life?

Nope, we are very much in love and the whole cuckolding stuff has really secured our marriage.

If this scenario was to ever play out I imagine she would do her best to keep it in her pants but, as I’ve said, she is who she is. She would slip up down the road and end up in someone else’s bed. Not to spite me. But because she likes having sex with other men.

[Her number1]

This question has no context around it, why did the husband ask the hotwife to stop...
I think what most answers on here has missed it the reason why the husband has asked the hotwife to stop..
Most assume the husband has woken up and says please stop, would not be surprised if she said no.
But would she have the same answer if the husband woke up and said sorry I can't handle this anymore, if you carry on we need to divorce, some may answer the same but suspect a lot would stop and go back to a vanilla lifestyle.

You are very right that this question and all the varities of it have no context.
The bigger thing in all of these iterations of that question is why are so many husbands so insecure as to need to "know" their wives would quit. The childishness of expecting her to stop something she learns to enjoy after her husband told her to enjoy it and that he will support her. That is ridiculous to expect her to want to stop just because the husband isn't getting the fantasy he had playing in his head, so now he wants to take his toys and go home.
Maybe mommy will pat him on the head and fix a sugar tit.

[Wisher]

My wife would never stop. She might agree to stop but she would continue screwing around behind my back. Once a woman starts having other lovers she is always on the hunt for new and bigger cocks.

If this scenario was to ever play out I imagine she would do her best to keep it in her pants but, as I’ve said, she is who she is. She would slip up down the road and end up in someone else’s bed. Not to spite me. But because she likes having sex with other men.

So, you're saying she doesn't respect you.

This question has no context around it, why did the husband ask the hotwife to stop...
I think what most answers on here has missed it the reason why the husband has asked the hotwife to stop..

For the purpose of this thread, the reason doesn't matter. She either respects his wishes, or she doesn't. Assume it's been talked over, maybe more than once and this is his conclusion.

The bigger thing in all of these iterations of that question is why are so many husbands so insecure as to need to "know" their wives would quit. The childishness of expecting her to stop something she learns to enjoy after her husband told her to enjoy it and that he will support her. That is ridiculous to expect her to want to stop just because the husband isn't getting the fantasy he had playing in his head, so now he wants to take his toys and go home.

It's called mutual respect. It's either there or it isn't. Sounds like for many, maybe too many, it simply isn't there.

[Her number1]

The bigger thing in all of these iterations of that question is why are so many husbands so insecure as to need to "know" their wives would quit. The childishness of expecting her to stop something she learns to enjoy after her husband told her to enjoy it and that he will support her. That is ridiculous to expect her to want to stop just because the husband isn't getting the fantasy he had playing in his head, so now he wants to take his toys and go home.

It's called mutual respect. It's either there or it isn't. Sounds like for many, maybe too many, it simply isn't there.

"Mutual" respect is exactly what I was talking about. That means they respect each other and do nothing to hurt the other. Too many in this type of thread think it is on her to stop when it is just as much on him to allow her to enjoy. It applies both ways.
To work things out, they discuss it and come to an agreement beneficial for both, otherwise the marriage suffers.
This question comes up repeatedly because too many men have no backbone to follow through with what they started and wanted. So they treat their wives like a puppet in their own play to get what they want, and then make her stop if she likes it.
That is not mutual respect.

[love84]

She would agree to stop, then cheat.

[KBZ69]

If I asked her to stop I would feel sfish but I know she would eventually . But as of recently my kink has strengthened and I have asked her to start cheating and to tell me now and again that she has just to increase my angst and by extension pleasure.
So far she has refused but I think if I ask her to stop she would remember my cheat request and continue anyway .
A win win if you ask me .

[Kayscuck89]

My wife would never stop. She might agree to stop but she would continue screwing around behind my back. Once a woman starts having other lovers she is always on the hunt for new and bigger cocks.

If this scenario was to ever play out I imagine she would do her best to keep it in her pants but, as I’ve said, she is who she is. She would slip up down the road and end up in someone else’s bed. Not to spite me. But because she likes having sex with other men.

So, you're saying she doesn't respect you.

Respect is a two way street. I’m not exactly respecting my wife’s sexual desires and decisions let alone the agreements we’ve already made by suddenly asking her to stop. Unless there was some circumstances that started affecting our lives outside the bedroom I can’t think of viable reason to ask her to stop.

[Tracescuck]

I don’t know that I have a valid opinion, we’ve not even started to have to stop, but I think I’ve dented or cracked the lid on Pandora’s box such that it’s not going to all go back in the box even if I wanted it to. I will say that I fully believe she wants this too and likes the idea of it all, but has her reservations. I think by her comments here and there about not wanting to hurt me leads me to this conclusion as well and I am okay with it. After 26 years, my wife knows me well. I am letting her take the lead on this as I know she will take care of us and do this all in a way that will preserve, respect, and enhance our marriage. I think she will lead us in a slow and deliberate progression into this, checking all the way to make sure I am okay with everything each step of the way so that once we start and go all the way, we will both know that it is what we both want, so that I don’t have to ask her to stop and she doesn’t have to make that decision, or doesn’t have to say “no”. I think that is truly one of her reservations into this. What if I like it and he doesn’t, what then? She will do all this in a way, deliberate at each stage, flirting, video chatting, meeting, etc all the way up to the big day, and she will know I’m on board before anything happens. I think once she knows that though, I will be cucked hard and fast and will love it. Would she stop down the road if I asked? I would like to think so, but I cant be certain. I know she loves me. I know that I owe it to her that if we cross the threshold, I need to be man enough to not take that kind of gift back and work through any issues with her about what would want me to make her stop and try to solve that long before we get to that point. That’s a lot of rambling I think, but I think it sums up where we are with this.