Cuckold dreaming!

[js117]

Interesting development! I'm excited to hear what happens next!

[spyguy24]

Wow! So are you still the only guy to have cum inside her?

[ChrisCuck]

Wow! So are you still the only guy to have cum inside her?

Steve says they've used condoms each time they've had sex.

Interesting development! I'm excited to hear what happens next!

So far nothing. It's looking like I'm stuck for now.

Steve was still skeptical that I was okay with him having sex with my girlfriend. So, I had to keep reassuring that I'm cool with it. I told him that I think it's a good idea for Amanda to have some experience. I also made it clear that it's a turn-on for me, but without going into any details about cuckolding. Feeling reassured, Steve finally had sex with Amanda again. But, when he told me about it, he put up an obstacle to my threesome fantasy.

"I can't think of any good way to bring up a threesome to Amanda. It just feels too weird and unnatural to suggest it. I mean she is cheating on you and obviously doesn't want you to find out about us. It would be absolutely nutso for me to, out of thin air, suggest a threesome to her! My only realistic option would be to tell her that I told you about us and that you want a threesome. And I'm pretty sure that won't go over well. Plus, at that point, you may as well be the one to tell her."

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I thought to myself.

"I know. You're right. But, I just wanted to avoid confronting Amanda with the knowledge that she's cheating on me."

"So don't confront her. Just tell her that you think it would be hot to be in a threesome with her. Then suggest me as an option."

"I could give it a try."

And so I did give it a try. The next time I was alone with Amanda, as we were in bed, getting close to penetration, I said to her, "Bet you sometimes wish you still had a nice big dick filling you up instead of my tiny, little guy."

"Let's not talk about that. I like having sex with you, Chris. I'm literally about to get fucked by you and am looking forward to it!"

"I just mean it's kind of hot thinking about you being with another guy again. Not instead of me like we did before. In addition to me, I mean."

"Maybe one day," Amanda said, smiling as she looked me in the eyes. "But, I'm happy with the status quo right now. I'm actually perfectly content with my sex life lately. I really do like things just as they are, Chris. I've been feeling really, really satisfied lately and wouldn't want to change a thing. At least for now anyways. Guess you'll just have to settle for having a girlfriend that's perfectly happy fucking you."

"I'm not complaining," I said back with a confident smile, hiding the fact that I was pissed off at Amanda for lying to me, but also turned on knowing that the real reason she was so happy with things as they are was because she was secretly fucking my hotter, big-dicked roommate behind my back!

And that was the end of that! I had sex with Amanda and didn't even try bringing it up again.

I admitted to Steve that I failed at suggesting a threesome to Amanda.

"So what do you want me to do now... stop sleeping with Amanda after all?'

"No. Just because I'm not getting my threesome anytime soon, that doesn't mean I've changed my mind about you sleeping with Amanda. I definitely want you to keep seeing her!"

"Okay. Cool."

Of course it's cool with him. Steve gets to keep having sex with my girlfriend with zero obligations, while I'm basically giving up on the possibility of a threesome!

I'm so angry with Amanda for choosing to cheat on me instead of including me. But, at the same time, I'm thrilled about having the kind of girlfriend who would cheat on me with my own roommate! Amanda has definitely undergone a huge change since the old days, when I was the only guy she'd ever been with. I hate it, but I also love it! It's hard for me to process my mixed feelings about it actually. But, at least I get to be a cuckold again. I like that part, for sure! I guess I'll just keep playing along, pretend not to know, and see where this all goes.

[wemightjust]

You could arrange to "nearly" catch her... If she has finished fucking at your place.. .. You could turn up a few mins after your room mate has left.. see if her post glow influencers her thoughts

[cpeater]

A dream indeed!

[ChrisCuck]

You could arrange to "nearly" catch her... If she has finished fucking at your place.. .. You could turn up a few mins after your room mate has left.. see if her post glow influencers her thoughts

It's not a bad idea. I may resort to it at some point. For now though I've decided to do nothing. I'm not as upset with Amanda about it anymore. And it gives me at least some kind of cuckold experience to enjoy for now. It's not as hot as when I was a secret boyfriend, but it's still hot.

[handye12]

Hi Chris, Love this thread. Well I did right up to the last bit. I thought it was so risky in the beginning, but didn't feel I knew you, after all you were just a fictional guy to me. But as time moved on, and I felt your excitement and pain, you've become real. I was genuinely upset when you and Amanda "officially official" split however I never felt it was totally the end between the two of you. And then begin to doubt my intuition when you 'fessed-up' with the threesome. But hearing about you having a heart to heart, and becoming a secret again, was great. You became a friend, admittedly very weird to say, as we are total strangers living through this great medium of OHW. So much so that it was quite emotional to hear when you got caught by Steve, and Amanda said it was officially back on. I was so happy for you. Both!
But this cheating is not nice to read. Especially with me being a born romantic, however I appreciate it's real life and therefore susceptible to bumps along the road.
What I'm trying to say is, you should 'fess-up' again. Bring it out in the open with Amanda. Engineer it with Steve and catch them in the act, if you don't want to drop Steve in it. But get it in the open, so you can discuss it, and I'm sure you'll become even in closer in the long run, and cement your hotwife and cuck relationship. It might be that she likes doing things in secret, but it's got to be better, if she knows being secretive is okay with you. Admittedly that's not ideal, because if it hadn't of been for Steve opening up, your cuck side would never have been poked.
It's time that you tell Amanda you're a complete Cuckold, and she is an amazing Cuckoldress, that you totally Love.
Ha ha, as you can see I'm totally into this thread

[eater]

i hope it works out so that you can get more out of her cuckolding you.

[ChrisCuck]

Hi Chris, Love this thread. Well I did right up to the last bit. I thought it was so risky in the beginning, but didn't feel I knew you, after all you were just a fictional guy to me. But as time moved on, and I felt your excitement and pain, you've become real. I was genuinely upset when you and Amanda "officially official" split however I never felt it was totally the end between the two of you. And then begin to doubt my intuition when you 'fessed-up' with the threesome. But hearing about you having a heart to heart, and becoming a secret again, was great. You became a friend, admittedly very weird to say, as we are total strangers living through this great medium of OHW. So much so that it was quite emotional to hear when you got caught by Steve, and Amanda said it was officially back on. I was so happy for you. Both!
But this cheating is not nice to read. Especially with me being a born romantic, however I appreciate it's real life and therefore susceptible to bumps along the road.
What I'm trying to say is, you should 'fess-up' again. Bring it out in the open with Amanda. Engineer it with Steve and catch them in the act, if you don't want to drop Steve in it. But get it in the open, so you can discuss it, and I'm sure you'll become even in closer in the long run, and cement your hotwife and cuck relationship. It might be that she likes doing things in secret, but it's got to be better, if she knows being secretive is okay with you. Admittedly that's not ideal, because if it hadn't of been for Steve opening up, your cuck side would never have been poked.
It's time that you tell Amanda you're a complete Cuckold, and she is an amazing Cuckoldress, that you totally Love.
Ha ha, as you can see I'm totally into this thread

I know this isn't the ideal. But, it's still kind of new and I'd rather non jump the gun by forcing things out in the open right away. I hope that Amanda's decision to keep me in the dark isn't because she likes doing things in secret. That would probably be a real problem if she and I are going to have a future together. I'd like to think there's more to it. That it's not simply just a matter of her enjoying hiding things from me

I can confront her about it later though. There's no hurry at the moment. Besides, this gives us both a chance to get used to her having another guy. I want Amanda to get used to being non-monogamous. I think I need to get used to it too. It's not like things were perfect between Amanda and I the last time she had another guy. I think we can both use some practice. Her at being unfaithful to me. And me at being a cuckold.

i hope it works out so that you can get more out of her cuckolding you.

Hope so!

[ChrisCuck]

Amanda finally confessed to cheating on me. About time! Lol.

Funny enough though, it's been weeks since Amanda and Steve have had sex. Reason being is that I'm Amanda's ride into town while she's living back home over the summer.

Anyhow, she said she would've told me sooner, but there were a bunch of reasons that she didn't:
1. She felt bad about going behind my back in the first place and didn't want me to be upset.
2. She didn't want to mess things up between me and Steve, especially since he and I are roommates.
3. She liked having the opportunity to experiment without consulting me, though she knew she would eventually tell me.
4. When she finally did tell me, she wanted it to be during summer break. That way, if there was any drama, it wouldn't distract from school.
5. She was conflicted about the cuckold relationship we'd had before. She enjoyed it, but it was so strange doing something like that. She wondered if it was somehow morally wrong. She thought that maybe cheating might be more normal and less immoral? But, she realizes now how stupid that actually is.

I thanked her for coming clean and told her that the only thing that bugs me is that she went behind my back. I told her not to worry about there being drama between me and Steve.

"I actually feel bad that you and Steve haven't been able to hook up lately."

"It would have looked weird for him to show up at my family's place to pick me up."

"Now you don't have to worry anymore. I'll still be coming to get you, but I'll make sure that you and Steve have time together. Assuming you still want to keep seeing Steve, which I hope you do."

"I do."

"And maybe we can do a threesome sometime or I can at least watch? No pressure. It's just something that I'd really like to experience."

"I think it's probably doable."

"And I have to ask. If you're annoyed I'll stop. But, I really have to ask. Is he better than me in bed? I mean his dick is twice as big as mine! If you're comfortable answering, just please be honest."

"Yes. Steve's a better lay than you. I mean, his huge monster cock helps. But, I think that even if he had an average cock, he'd still be a better lay. I really like having sex with him. I don't know what the future holds. But, I don't want to be monogamous with you for now. Probably not for a long while. So can we do the thing where I get to be non-monogamous, but you can't see any other women? It's pretty obvious we'd both be happer with that arrangement."

"Yes. We can do that."

Amanda and I had great sex immediately after that conversation. Great for me. Hopefully great for her too. If not though, that's where Steve comes in. Lol.

[Anders86]

Great update, glad to see you’re back

[wannabecUKold]

That latest chat seems to have got you - in principle- to the position you want: the chance of a threesome, and being treated as a cuckold. Strike while the iron is hot and get the threesome this weekend.
PS maybe restart your cage again and ask Amanda for some lingerie. She clearly would enjoy feminising you.

[mundyman]

Amanda finally confessed to cheating on me. About time! Lol.

Funny enough though, it's been weeks since Amanda and Steve have had sex. Reason being is that I'm Amanda's ride into town while she's living back home over the summer.

Anyhow, she said she would've told me sooner, but there were a bunch of reasons that she didn't:
1. She felt bad about going behind my back in the first place and didn't want me to be upset.
2. She didn't want to mess things up between me and Steve, especially since he and I are roommates.
3. She liked having the opportunity to experiment without consulting me, though she knew she would eventually tell me.
4. When she finally did tell me, she wanted it to be during summer break. That way, if there was any drama, it wouldn't distract from school.
5. She was conflicted about the cuckold relationship we'd had before. She enjoyed it, but it was so strange doing something like that. She wondered if it was somehow morally wrong. She thought that maybe cheating might be more normal and less immoral? But, she realizes now how stupid that actually is.

I thanked her for coming clean and told her that the only thing that bugs me is that she went behind my back. I told her not to worry about there being drama between me and Steve.

"I actually feel bad that you and Steve haven't been able to hook up lately."

"It would have looked weird for him to show up at my family's place to pick me up."

"Now you don't have to worry anymore. I'll still be coming to get you, but I'll make sure that you and Steve have time together. Assuming you still want to keep seeing Steve, which I hope you do."

"I do."

"And maybe we can do a threesome sometime or I can at least watch? No pressure. It's just something that I'd really like to experience."

"I think it's probably doable."

"And I have to ask. If you're annoyed I'll stop. But, I really have to ask. Is he better than me in bed? I mean his dick is twice as big as mine! If you're comfortable answering, just please be honest."

"Yes. Steve's a better lay than you. I mean, his huge monster cock helps. But, I think that even if he had an average cock, he'd still be a better lay. I really like having sex with him. I don't know what the future holds. But, I don't want to be monogamous with you for now. Probably not for a long while. So can we do the thing where I get to be non-monogamous, but you can't see any other women? It's pretty obvious we'd both be happer with that arrangement."

"Yes. We can do that."

Amanda and I had great sex immediately after that conversation. Great for me. Hopefully great for her too. If not though, that's where Steve comes in. Lol.

What a great thread!
What an introduction into cuckolding for you and Amanda.
When do you two finish college and graduate?
Do you see you two eventually getting married?
As Amanda gets comfortable with Ethical Non-Monogamy and the idea that there is nothing morally wrong with being in a sexual relationship with more than one person, do you think she will have sex with other people?
Will she use her summer break to Further sample the pool of available men desiring to fuck her.
BTW I don’t think you ever described what Amanda looks like. What does she look like?
Good luck to you and Amanda this summer and please keep us updated on how things are going.

[residueS]

Amanda finally confessed to cheating on me. About time! Lol.

Funny enough though, it's been weeks since Amanda and Steve have had sex. Reason being is that I'm Amanda's ride into town while she's living back home over the summer.

Anyhow, she said she would've told me sooner, but there were a bunch of reasons that she didn't:
1. She felt bad about going behind my back in the first place and didn't want me to be upset.
2. She didn't want to mess things up between me and Steve, especially since he and I are roommates.
3. She liked having the opportunity to experiment without consulting me, though she knew she would eventually tell me.
4. When she finally did tell me, she wanted it to be during summer break. That way, if there was any drama, it wouldn't distract from school.
5. She was conflicted about the cuckold relationship we'd had before. She enjoyed it, but it was so strange doing something like that. She wondered if it was somehow morally wrong. She thought that maybe cheating might be more normal and less immoral? But, she realizes now how stupid that actually is.

I thanked her for coming clean and told her that the only thing that bugs me is that she went behind my back. I told her not to worry about there being drama between me and Steve.

"I actually feel bad that you and Steve haven't been able to hook up lately."

"It would have looked weird for him to show up at my family's place to pick me up."

"Now you don't have to worry anymore. I'll still be coming to get you, but I'll make sure that you and Steve have time together. Assuming you still want to keep seeing Steve, which I hope you do."

"I do."

"And maybe we can do a threesome sometime or I can at least watch? No pressure. It's just something that I'd really like to experience."

"I think it's probably doable."

"And I have to ask. If you're annoyed I'll stop. But, I really have to ask. Is he better than me in bed? I mean his dick is twice as big as mine! If you're comfortable answering, just please be honest."

"Yes. Steve's a better lay than you. I mean, his huge monster cock helps. But, I think that even if he had an average cock, he'd still be a better lay. I really like having sex with him. I don't know what the future holds. But, I don't want to be monogamous with you for now. Probably not for a long while. So can we do the thing where I get to be non-monogamous, but you can't see any other women? It's pretty obvious we'd both be happer with that arrangement."

"Yes. We can do that."

Amanda and I had great sex immediately after that conversation. Great for me. Hopefully great for her too. If not though, that's where Steve comes in. Lol.

I think she is right to some degree, it is morally wrong to pretend she is single and dates others who are seeking a committed relationship and not aware they are part of a game. And she felt she was the reason her previous "boyfriend" quit the current school, which can be true. I think the current situation is more healthy if she was upfront about it and discuss it with you and your friend.

[vicg]

Wow. I thought your thread had gone dead, and somehow I'd missed your updates so far this year about Amanda and Steve. But I'm caught up now, and this is a really hot arrangement. I'm eager to hear how things progress from here … and I really wonder whether Amanda will ever decide to take her freedom to be non-monogamous to include more than just one other guy.

[residueS]

Bump, how is everything going? Hope all is well.

[ucaneffher]

Hi Chris,

My only concern would be if Amanda and Matt relationship goes beyond the summer break.

ucaneffher played the secret boyfriend while his girlfriend had another relationship with another guy that became the main relationship. The game was played with ucaneffher being able to ask the break off the other relationship when he felt enough is enough. When he asked the girlfriend to come back to him full time she decided to stay with other boyfriend. In the end, ucaneffher walked away from the relationship. ucaneffher and the girlfriend were also high school sweethearts but now they nothing to really to do with each other.

.

I've always been a risk taker for sure.. there's one key thing kissing here. I was the one who pushed my girlfriend to go ALLLL the way. I was the one who told her that I wanted to feel jealous and helpless just watching my girlfriend giving herself entirely to her other man. I told her that I did not want her to stop even if I told her to stop and exhibited crabby attitude towards her being with him. She objected to it but I told her that I didn't want her to stop if I told her. In the end I was powerless and would just sit back and watch my girlfriend spend every single day with him, make him her primary man and sex partner. I went 8 months without any intercourse while she trained me to let her be his. Once they were publicly dating and i had completely adjusted to working with her schedule and her relationship with him, that's when she began letting me have sex with her again but it was secretive and under her time and rules.

It was quite intense seeing my high school sweet heart girlfriend of 8 years just all of a sudden having her own personal sex life outside of our relationship with another man. Seeing that when she got home from work, it was him who she would get all dolled up and excited to go see every day. I knew that between 6pm and 2am every night she was off limits because that was their time to be together and make love. It took me time but I learned to accept it and grew to love knowing that i wasn't the only man.

I don't regret asking her and letting her go all the way, i think that I regret more not having accepted the role that i essentially asked for her to put me in. She made me her side boy, she kept me in the loop, still gave me sex, still told me she loves me, still did laundry for me, still cooked for me, but at the end of the day when her boyfriend told her that he was in his way, I knew that my turn was over and i had to respect her time with him. I walked away over a decade ago. For years after having walked away, i absolutely regretted not having sucking it up and just enjoyed the dynamic of being her little secret and letting her have her main man to take her of her while keeping me still in the picture. I regret not having embraced being her number 2.

I'm at a point in life where if my current gf expressed desire in a poly relationship, I would settle for it and would again accept not being primary. That's not the goal but would be more open minded to rolling with it.

[ChrisCuck]

I've been reluctant about posting. Reason being is that my situation is now more like 10% cuckold and 90% gay.

Once everything was out in the open, arranging a threesome was easy. Watching Steve and Amanda together was even hotter than I thought it'd be! What was really unexpected though was that Steve started making out with me during the threesome. He then took it even further and shoved his dick in my mouth. Amanda and I took turns sucking him. I didn't expect any of that. I went along with it. I even liked it. But, it felt really weird both during and after. Especially after.

None of us were brought up in what you'd call "gay friendly" households. On the contrary, we were all taught that there's something bad about gay people. I felt some serious shame after the threesome, but neither Steve nor Amanda seemed to share it.

When I talked to Amanda on the drive back to her parents house afterward, she was nothing but thrilled at how much fun she'd had! I asked her if she thought it was weird what happened between Steve and I.

"Of course it was weird," she said. "But, so was being in a threesome. Not something the younger me ever imagined doing. But, it was fun! So who cares, right?"

" Right!" I shot back with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

I was relieved that Amanda didn't feel ashamed, but I was still ashamed of myself.

I wondered if what happened would mess up my friendship with Steve. Was he feeling as ashamed as I was?

He definitely wasn't. Although our friendship did change, it wasn't in the way I imagined. Instead, he started feeling comfortable masturbating in front of me. Which turned into him suggesting, "help a guy out, huh?" And so I did. First my hand, then my mouth. And then the same thing happened again the next day. And the day after. And there was kissing too. Like the way that Amanda and I kiss.

I told Amanda the next time I saw her about Steve and I doing stuff, just him and I. But, Amanda didn't seem to mind.

"I plan on having alone time with Steve again when I move back into my dorm. So, it's fair that the two of you get to do stuff alone too if that's what you want. But, you gotta promise me something."

There it was, I thought! Amanda was going to draw a line in the sand! So long as I stayed on the right side of the line, we could pretend that this was somehow a no-homo arrangement. But, her condition was nothing like that.

"Don't drain him too much. I want him to have plenty of energy for when he fucks me!"

"I'll do my best!" I said. I couldn't think of anything else to do in that moment but to make light of the situation too.

Amanda, Steve, and I have had several threesomes since. The three of us have even agreed not to have sex with anyone else. Which sort of makes us poly, I suppose. Since there seems to be some actual attachment and it's not just fucking. But, the stuff Steve and I do alone has graduated to anal. Yes, he fucks me in the ass now. And it feels good. But, my shame has only increased as a result.

The other night he said "I love you" to me. And he could've just meant that he loves me as a friend. But, I knew he meant something more than that. Like I already mentioned, there's a poly thing happening between the three of us. Anyhow, I said it back. "I love you too, man." But, what little bit of pretense I had that I was still somehow straight went right out the door when those words came out of my mouth.

Funny thing. Not only do I feel ashamed over all this. But, I feel ashamed for feeling ashamed.

Before the threesome happened for real, I'd fantasized about Amanda and I sharing Steve's cock. How it might be fun to try something like that. But, the reality, even though fun, is way more complicated than I imagined it would be.

[handye12]

Wow good for you
It sounds like the 3 of you have what you all want.
life is too short to feel ashamed, after all the only people that really matter is the three of you
Best wishes and still keep updating us. It's a great post

[js117]

Thank you for sharing! I'm glad you did. I'm really interested to learn how your relationship continues to evolve, and I think this update is really fun and sexy.

For what it's worth: I hope you're not being too hard on yourself. You've done nothing wrong! You're having fun, Steve is having fun, and Amanda is thrilled. Plus, the three of you aren't keeping secrets from each other anymore, and that's a sign of a healthy relationship. Even better, the three of you agreed not to have sex with anyone else, so that protects all three of you from STIs. All of these decisions are very sensible! Maybe it's poly, maybe it's not, but whatever it is: the three of you are enjoying it! So that's good! In your words: "it was fun! So who cares, right?"

Still, I completely understand why you feel ashamed. Modern western culture teaches everyone that girls fucking girls is "sexy", while guys fucking guys is "wrong." In more conservative circles, I suppose both combinations are labeled as "sins". I wouldn't be surprised if everyone raised in environments like this develop a deep unconscious bias against people who engage in same-sex activities, even if their rational minds enthusiastically support the concept of homosexuality or gay marriage. In addition, I wouldn't be surprised if that unconscious bias leads to deep sexual kinks and fantasies that people are afraid to pursue in real life. Heck, maybe that's why half of us are on this forum!

I'm not a Psychologist, but it sounds to me like your rational mind is battling with your intuitive mind, and that's the source of your shame. That's ok. This is new, and you're still learning. Long ago, I used to feel guilty/ashamed about masturbating and later about using porn to masturbate, but now I consider both activities safe and healthy aspects of my sexuality.

Again, as an outside observer, it sounds like you're doing everything right. You're focusing on communication, honesty, and transparency. You're protecting everyone's physical safety, and you're making sure that everyone is happy. You're trying to make your relationship with Amanda work, even if that means you explore some somewhat unorthodox sexual practices.

[wannabecUKold]

I've been reluctant about posting. Reason being is that my situation is now more like 10% cuckold and 90% gay.

Once everything was out in the open, arranging a threesome was easy. Watching Steve and Amanda together was even hotter than I thought it'd be! What was really unexpected though was that Steve started making out with me during the threesome. He then took it even further and shoved his dick in my mouth. Amanda and I took turns sucking him. I didn't expect any of that. I went along with it. I even liked it. But, it felt really weird both during and after. Especially after.

None of us were brought up in what you'd call "gay friendly" households. On the contrary, we were all taught that there's something bad about gay people. I felt some serious shame after the threesome, but neither Steve nor Amanda seemed to share it.

When I talked to Amanda on the drive back to her parents house afterward, she was nothing but thrilled at how much fun she'd had! I asked her if she thought it was weird what happened between Steve and I.

"Of course it was weird," she said. "But, so was being in a threesome. Not something the younger me ever imagined doing. But, it was fun! So who cares, right?"

" Right!" I shot back with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

I was relieved that Amanda didn't feel ashamed, but I was still ashamed of myself.

I wondered if what happened would mess up my friendship with Steve. Was he feeling as ashamed as I was?

He definitely wasn't. Although our friendship did change, it wasn't in the way I imagined. Instead, he started feeling comfortable masturbating in front of me. Which turned into him suggesting, "help a guy out, huh?" And so I did. First my hand, then my mouth. And then the same thing happened again the next day. And the day after. And there was kissing too. Like the way that Amanda and I kiss.

I told Amanda the next time I saw her about Steve and I doing stuff, just him and I. But, Amanda didn't seem to mind.

"I plan on having alone time with Steve again when I move back into my dorm. So, it's fair that the two of you get to do stuff alone too if that's what you want. But, you gotta promise me something."

There it was, I thought! Amanda was going to draw a line in the sand! So long as I stayed on the right side of the line, we could pretend that this was somehow a no-homo arrangement. But, her condition was nothing like that.

"Don't drain him too much. I want him to have plenty of energy for when he fucks me!"

"I'll do my best!" I said. I couldn't think of anything else to do in that moment but to make light of the situation too.

Amanda, Steve, and I have had several threesomes since. The three of us have even agreed not to have sex with anyone else. Which sort of makes us poly, I suppose. Since there seems to be some actual attachment and it's not just fucking. But, the stuff Steve and I do alone has graduated to anal. Yes, he fucks me in the ass now. And it feels good. But, my shame has only increased as a result.

The other night he said "I love you" to me. And he could've just meant that he loves me as a friend. But, I knew he meant something more than that. Like I already mentioned, there's a poly thing happening between the three of us. Anyhow, I said it back. "I love you too, man." But, what little bit of pretense I had that I was still somehow straight went right out the door when those words came out of my mouth.

Funny thing. Not only do I feel ashamed over all this. But, I feel ashamed for feeling ashamed.

Before the threesome happened for real, I'd fantasized about Amanda and I sharing Steve's cock. How it might be fun to try something like that. But, the reality, even though fun, is way more complicated than I imagined it would be.

This account rings so true, at least for me. First the taboo, then the event that breaches it, then the great shame (and today the shame of having that shame), then the desire, the need, to do it again, and again, to suck that glorious cock. Then finally, to your surprise, you and he are saying 'I love you', as you have developed a closeness to his body and to him.

There is no antidote to shame. Except time and repetition. Gradually the shame will dissipate. Until then you just have to recognise that it may recur after sex. I wonder what the biology is. It must have a genetic root, since we all have felt it one time or another. Relax, breathe deeply! Don't beat yourself up.

You are so lucky to have a gf who is with you on this and you three have a great poly triangle. Enjoy what you are have while you have it.
I presume that members of your wider family are unaware of everything? Don't tackle that yet.

[Chrislydi]

Please keep posting Chris, your real life experiences have been fascinating to follow and imo you've shown huge maturity for one so young. It was especially pleasing to see you reconciled with Amanda following the secret boyfriend adventure break up. I agree with wannabecUKold that the account rings so true and your situation with the three of you now seems perfect.

Chris

[mundyman]

I've been reluctant about posting. Reason being is that my situation is now more like 10% cuckold and 90% gay.

Once everything was out in the open, arranging a threesome was easy. Watching Steve and Amanda together was even hotter than I thought it'd be! What was really unexpected though was that Steve started making out with me during the threesome. He then took it even further and shoved his dick in my mouth. Amanda and I took turns sucking him. I didn't expect any of that. I went along with it. I even liked it. But, it felt really weird both during and after. Especially after.

None of us were brought up in what you'd call "gay friendly" households. On the contrary, we were all taught that there's something bad about gay people. I felt some serious shame after the threesome, but neither Steve nor Amanda seemed to share it.

When I talked to Amanda on the drive back to her parents house afterward, she was nothing but thrilled at how much fun she'd had! I asked her if she thought it was weird what happened between Steve and I.

"Of course it was weird," she said. "But, so was being in a threesome. Not something the younger me ever imagined doing. But, it was fun! So who cares, right?"

" Right!" I shot back with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

I was relieved that Amanda didn't feel ashamed, but I was still ashamed of myself.

I wondered if what happened would mess up my friendship with Steve. Was he feeling as ashamed as I was?

He definitely wasn't. Although our friendship did change, it wasn't in the way I imagined. Instead, he started feeling comfortable masturbating in front of me. Which turned into him suggesting, "help a guy out, huh?" And so I did. First my hand, then my mouth. And then the same thing happened again the next day. And the day after. And there was kissing too. Like the way that Amanda and I kiss.

I told Amanda the next time I saw her about Steve and I doing stuff, just him and I. But, Amanda didn't seem to mind.

"I plan on having alone time with Steve again when I move back into my dorm. So, it's fair that the two of you get to do stuff alone too if that's what you want. But, you gotta promise me something."

There it was, I thought! Amanda was going to draw a line in the sand! So long as I stayed on the right side of the line, we could pretend that this was somehow a no-homo arrangement. But, her condition was nothing like that.

"Don't drain him too much. I want him to have plenty of energy for when he fucks me!"

"I'll do my best!" I said. I couldn't think of anything else to do in that moment but to make light of the situation too.

Amanda, Steve, and I have had several threesomes since. The three of us have even agreed not to have sex with anyone else. Which sort of makes us poly, I suppose. Since there seems to be some actual attachment and it's not just fucking. But, the stuff Steve and I do alone has graduated to anal. Yes, he fucks me in the ass now. And it feels good. But, my shame has only increased as a result.

The other night he said "I love you" to me. And he could've just meant that he loves me as a friend. But, I knew he meant something more than that. Like I already mentioned, there's a poly thing happening between the three of us. Anyhow, I said it back. "I love you too, man." But, what little bit of pretense I had that I was still somehow straight went right out the door when those words came out of my mouth.

Funny thing. Not only do I feel ashamed over all this. But, I feel ashamed for feeling ashamed.

Before the threesome happened for real, I'd fantasized about Amanda and I sharing Steve's cock. How it might be fun to try something like that. But, the reality, even though fun, is way more complicated than I imagined it would be.

Thanks for your update CC!!!
Are you two back in school??
Congratulations on continuing to let Amanda explore her sexuality, both more over congratulations on exploring your sexuality, and being confident enough to share that with Amanda.
Many things happen in college. It is a time of much experimentation and trying things out. Sex can definitely be one of those.
Just because you and Steve are in a sexual relationship doesn’t mean that you are gay or destined to be homosexual. Rather you are finding, trying, developing, pick a word that fits, your bi side. And that’s a great thing!!
Let go of the labels and hangups and enjoy the life you have now.
You, Steve, and Amanda seem to have a good thing going, for now, so enjoy the ride.
The real question is, are you enjoying where your relationship is with Amanda, and with Steve. Is the sex between you and Steve consensual and something you enjoy, or do you feel obligated?
It sounds like if you and Amanda stay together after graduating you will stay in some type of open relationship.
So whatever you do, do what you enjoy, enjoy what you do, and enjoy the moments because they don’t always last.
Looking forward to your next update!!!

[isinlarsa]

You don't need to put percentages on it. Why not just consider yourself bi-sexual, unless you are finding your more attracted to Steve than to Amanda. But whatever way your end up swinging, there's no reason to feel ashamed about it.

Has Steve fucked you yet in front of Amanda? Do you think she would like to see that? Do you have any desire to fuck him?

[eater]

how are things going Chris?