Not a Cuckold, but Thought I'd Share My Situation

[Rogueuser1]

I agree - I could care less what trolls think. I am interested in how things are going between you and your wife though. Especially if you are able to convince her to be with any other men.

[FNQLivin]

Dr SL, I don't think anyone means you disrespect, but of the posters here who are offering their thoughts, it's all coming from a position of support, even if it's sometimes phrased incorrectly. I remember years ago when it all started to go pear shaped, how I was one of the people advising you to step back and that she was probably feeling incredibly confused and resentful. But the thought stayed with you, you got her to do it again and now you've gone back to the bad place again (even if only temporarily).

We only see what you write and I assume you're writing the best most favourable version of events (to you). Even that makes you out sometimes as someone who can be selfish and wants things done your way, even when the person doing them for you would have rather not gone there. From where I sit, you pushed her to an emotional affair with another man, by intentionally being inadequate in bed and then when she went there, talked about betrayal and other things. It was your kink, not hers and she wasn't doing it as a kink, but because she wanted physical intimacy with someone who seemed able to provide what she wanted. That she became in some way attached wasn't her fault.

Anyway, I wish you both nothing but the best.

[drstrangelove]

Dr SL, I don't think anyone means you disrespect, but of the posters here who are offering their thoughts, it's all coming from a position of support, even if it's sometimes phrased incorrectly. I remember years ago when it all started to go pear shaped, how I was one of the people advising you to step back and that she was probably feeling incredibly confused and resentful. But the thought stayed with you, you got her to do it again and now you've gone back to the bad place again (even if only temporarily).

We only see what you write and I assume you're writing the best most favourable version of events (to you). Even that makes you out sometimes as someone who can be selfish and wants things done your way, even when the person doing them for you would have rather not gone there. From where I sit, you pushed her to an emotional affair with another man, by intentionally being inadequate in bed and then when she went there, talked about betrayal and other things. It was your kink, not hers and she wasn't doing it as a kink, but because she wanted physical intimacy with someone who seemed able to provide what she wanted. That she became in some way attached wasn't her fault.

Anyway, I wish you both nothing but the best.

FNQ, with respect, I sense that you take my emotional swings with too much significance. If I’m feeling down for a couple of days, it’s not representative of the state of my life or overall relationship with my wife. Perhaps I’m recalling incorrectly, but you tend to comment after a down moment, placing far too much weight on that moment.as I’ve noted numerous times, I often treat this space as a journal—which means I’m going to note the downs along with the ups.

Everything between my wife and I is fine.

[FNQLivin]

You should go and read your own thread.

[DoctorLuv]

You should go and read your own thread.

I think you should reread the thread. The turmoil that Dr. Strangelove experienced when his wife had an affair had nothing to do with the sex of the affair. The reality was that his wife was coincidentally making up lies about him and bad mouthing him to her family and no doubt to her boyfriend F. Long after his wife had been open about the minutia of her affair sexually, she became hysterical when Dr. Strangelove insisted on seeing the text exchanges between his wife and her mom. The reason she became so emotional was obvious. She spoke about her husband in the most vile & untrue ways.

I could forgive my wife for being dissatisfied in our marriage, and leaving me for another, whether it be a dalliance or whether it be forever. I would not forgive her if she made up lies about me to portray me as evil just to justify her dalliance or her departure.

Clearly, Dr. Strangelove has grown worrisome with others, insisting that they know the most intimate details of his marriage much better than he does. Frankly, so have I.

[Jujube]

I wish there was a “like “ feature on this site

[mf2hd82]

Still no contact from F??

[Rogueuser1]

Still hoping she finds a better guy... but also understand the pull F has on her/over her.

Take care Doc - looking forward to hearing from you again soon.

[drstrangelove]

Still no contact from F??

Nope, he’s been a ghost now for a little more than a month.

My wife and I are off on vacation and I some of the old tendencies are beginning to take hold with F out of the picture. After a few months of lots of sex, I’m starting to get more requests to lick her or her offering HJs.

We are on vacation now and recharging, but I did discuss the topic again and she reconfirmed she is open to cucking me again. For her, it’s as simple as it’s fun to do and I’m ok with it—it’s sometimes weird to think of how simple it might be from a woman’s perspective: sex is fun. On the other hand, she’s not interested in just jumping in bed with a random, so it’ll happen when she finds the opportunity.

[DoctorLuv]

Your last statement reminded me of the following quote:
"Problems can become opportunities when the right people come together." — Robert Redford

[Rogueuser1]

Hopefully you guys had a great trip and came back recharged/reenergized!

[drstrangelove]

Hopefully you guys had a great trip and came back recharged/reenergized!

The trip was great, but things have been a bit rocky since we got back. I’m trying to be empathetic to my wife, who has a variety of stress points right now, but it’s been a struggle for sure.

That said, she went to a school event yesterday and both F and R (F’s exwife) were there separately. It was obviously awkward—and presumably even more awkward for R.

When my wife shared what happened, I told her that I’m sorry she was in that situation and it’s probably for the best F is behind her now. She jumped on that and got defensive, asking if I wanted her to stop this dynamic and if so wondering why I had recently said I was open to her using Tinder.

Her defensiveness caught me off guard, so I just said I meant that maybe it wasn’t the worst thing that he ended it, but I’m still open to the dynamic on the whole. I pointed to some of F’s sketchy, negative qualities and noted it’s for the best he moved on.

She again was defensive, saying he only paused things and didn’t end them and that she was still very open to seeing him again if he reached out. I asked if she had any reason to think he would, and she said he made eye contact with her multiple times and unless she was crazy, he still seemed very interested.

The conversation then shortly after went off the rails on another topic, but enough was shared where I’m now clear on where she is: she is very eager for him to text her again and she will be upset with me if I suggest she not see him.

Again, I know where I’m writing this and many of you are likely thrilled at the idea of me being somewhat of an unwilling cuck, but I have genuine concerns about where things are with my wife right now, so I’m taking the time to really think this all through. She has a lot on her plate and I don’t want to invite more stress into our lives.

As for my sex life, we had sex once since the vacation last weekend and absolutely nothing since then. She’s clearly not interested and I’m not pressing for anything—it’s taken a long time, but I’m just not interested in pushing for sex with her if she doesn’t want it with me. Previously I’d have been hurt seeing how eager she was to see him and not me, but it honestly isn’t even bothering me right now—it is what it is.