Not a Cuckold, but Thought I'd Share My Situation

[jratt85]

I'm curious, in her slut years was she ever a submissive to someone like in a full on D/s relationship? Did she ever hook up with black men? Both would partly explain her actions with him.

[drstrangelove]

I'm curious, in her slut years was she ever a submissive to someone like in a full on D/s relationship? Did she ever hook up with black men? Both would partly explain her actions with him.

Her “slut years” were in college—they were largely just drunken hookups after the bars. She never lived out any kind of dominance-based sexual dynamic in school.

She made out with a black guy once, but never went past that—unsure why a black guy in her past would partly explain her dynamic with F regardless though.

[jratt85]

I'm curious, in her slut years was she ever a submissive to someone like in a full on D/s relationship? Did she ever hook up with black men? Both would partly explain her actions with him.

Her “slut years” were in college—they were largely just drunken hookups after the bars. She never lived out any kind of dominance-based sexual dynamic in school.

She made out with a black guy once, but never went past that—unsure why a black guy in her past would partly explain her dynamic with F regardless though.

because of the stereotype of how they treat women that they have little respect for.. as in using her as a living fuck toy, often with a lot of verbal cues that are related to power play.

[drstrangelove]

Just as a quick update, it’s unlikely anything will be happening anytime soon, so I may not post again for the next week or so.

My wife did not reply to F’s last text and has no plans to do so. She’s expecting her period this week, so it’s unlikely they’d see each other before it comes anyway—as a bonus, the silence can make him sweat a bit. And lastly, she’ll be starting BC with her period this week, so it’ll make future encounters with F safer (and perhaps more fun for me).

So the plan is just to lay low and reach out next week at some point.

Taking a step back, there are still some bucket list items I’m hoping to experience. The cream pie looks like it’ll be the easiest one, so hopefully that happens next month—I’m really excited for that moment she comes home filled and straddles across my chest, moving up to my face. I know I’ve already done it, but it’ll be different once he’s cum inside her I think.

I’m also really excited to continue recording their audio—I feel like future recordings are going to be way better. I’m dying to hear her beg him to cum inside her.

I feel like a video is still possible too, but it may just take more time for him to feel comfortable doing it.

And lastly, seeing her get fucked in person would be the dream, but that seems very unlikely. I can’t imagine ever getting to the point with F where I’d just be chilling with them in his bedroom—I suppose it’d be possible for her to fuck him outside over the summer and me to watch in hiding, but it’s a long shot. I think if we ever move on to a new guy, I’ll want to set it up with a dynamic where seeing it in person is at least possible.

[Robinpost1]

Would you be open to them forming a more emotional attachment?

I wonder if part of his apprehension is the drama around her situation. She blew his whole life up. He’s divorced now. His friend group has changed. He is a single father, his kids may one day resent him for blowing up his family. I’m not saying it’s her fault, he cheated obviously. But while you might view it as ‘no strings attached sex’ for F, there are undoubtedly emotions that run deep for him around this.

He has no context about your situation with your wife. And if what your wife says is true, he thinks she is just cheating. While I’m sure there was a time that the cheating element was fun and exciting for him, he’s now lived those consequences to their fullest and is reminded of them all day every day. I guarantee you there are serious emotions for him around her, his divorce and the chance that you “catch her cheating” again.

Your wife insisting that it continues with this narrative of her cheating may not be helpful to getting past Fs emotions around this.While it gives her some control over the situation, she is hindering their relationship and avoiding the heavy conversations.

As much as we may think protecting someone from the truth may be helpful, lying never improves relationships. I wonder what other walls she’s put up that keep F from leaning back in. There was a time he was 100% into her. He risked and lost everything for her. She paid no price, he did. He may even feel used by her because of this. I’m not saying that this is right or justified, just exploring what F may be thinking.

When they were affair partners they had a shared bond. Neither of them was happy. They both had the fantasy of leaving their partner for someone else that made them happy. Now F has to live with the reality that your wife chose you, not him. And he is alone. Whether he gets to fuck her every now and then is little in comparison to picturing living your life with someone else.

If he can’t picture having that with her, then he may see her as a roadblock to accomplishing that with someone else. He may have resentment that she got away with it and he didn’t.

I’d love to see them explore their relationship but there are some hurdles they’d have to over come. Some emotional conversations to be had. Maybe if your wife explored these feelings with you first she’d be open to at least giving F some kind of closure. She likely has survivors guilt and could be avoiding these talks with F intentionally.

As always. Thanks for posting

[drstrangelove]

Would you be open to them forming a more emotional attachment?

No; that’s a hard line for me. In many ways it’s been a blessing that both of them have treated this so two-dimensionally.

I wonder if part of his apprehension is the drama around her situation. She blew his whole life up. He’s divorced now. His friend group has changed. He is a single father, his kids may one day resent him for blowing up his family. I’m not saying it’s her fault, he cheated obviously. But while you might view it as ‘no strings attached sex’ for F, there are undoubtedly emotions that run deep for him around this.

He has no context about your situation with your wife. And if what your wife says is true, he thinks she is just cheating. While I’m sure there was a time that the cheating element was fun and exciting for him, he’s now lived those consequences to their fullest and is reminded of them all day every day. I guarantee you there are serious emotions for him around her, his divorce and the chance that you “catch her cheating” again.

I completely agree with you. I remind my wife at times that this is likely emotionally stressful for him.

Your wife insisting that it continues with this narrative of her cheating may not be helpful to getting past Fs emotions around this.While it gives her some control over the situation, she is hindering their relationship and avoiding the heavy conversations.

My gut is that she feels if she tells him I know, he’ll think it’s too fucked up—and he’ll think it’s bull shit that we blew up his marriage and are now having fun with it after. She won’t risk that response because she wants to keep relationship going.

My perspective is that’s a fair projection of what could happen. It would be hard to explain to him that the sex wasn’t the issue for me—and it really wasn’t—it was all the other malicious stuff she was doing.

As much as we may think protecting someone from the truth may be helpful, lying never improves relationships. I wonder what other walls she’s put up that keep F from leaning back in. There was a time he was 100% into her. He risked and lost everything for her. She paid no price, he did. He may even feel used by her because of this. I’m not saying that this is right or justified, just exploring what F may be thinking.

When they were affair partners they had a shared bond. Neither of them was happy. They both had the fantasy of leaving their partner for someone else that made them happy. Now F has to live with the reality that your wife chose you, not him. And he is alone. Whether he gets to fuck her every now and then is little in comparison to picturing living your life with someone else.

If he can’t picture having that with her, then he may see her as a roadblock to accomplishing that with someone else. He may have resentment that she got away with it and he didn’t.

I’d love to see them explore their relationship but there are some hurdles they’d have to over come. Some emotional conversations to be had. Maybe if your wife explored these feelings with you first she’d be open to at least giving F some kind of closure. She likely has survivors guilt and could be avoiding these talks with F intentionally.

As always. Thanks for posting

I disagree with most of that. I don’t think he was ever 100% into her—I’m not convinced that she was even the only other girl he was seeing at the time.

I also really don’t think he fantasized about leaving his wife for mine. I think he proved that when he dumped her as soon as I found out. He wanted her for sex—full stop.

As for my wife, I believe she considered that romantic fantasy in the very early days, even before they fucked. I think she imagined him saving her from her depression. But once they started fucking and he began playing his mind games, she recognized she didn’t want a future with him. She wanted him for validation and an escape—same as now.

My wife wants no emotional conversations with him—perhaps even less so than he does, and he doesn’t want them either. She doesn’t want this to become complicated or chat about their lives. She does have survivor’s guilt, so it makes sense—hearing about his parenting schedule makes her feel like a POS. She likes that they barely exchange a word on visits and doesn’t want that to change.

I know many of you see this as something else, and maybe it is, but I have to go with what I’m seeing and hearing. And I’ll be honest, if I didn’t have access to her communications, I’d have stopped posting here because I’d have become a paranoid mess lol. But as long as I’m confident that I understand their dynamic, I’m clam.

[drstrangelove]

Update.

My wife didn’t like the way things ended so coldly, so she decided to send him a flirty text before bed last night, making it clear she had no hard feelings. He replied today apologetic that he’s been so busy with spring break.

I don’t think the timeline changes—it’ll be at least another week or two before they hook up again. I think week of April 8 makes sense—also my bday week. My wife offered to stay up late and go over there on the night of my bday when I asked, so that is a fun option I’m thinking over. If not that, it’ll be up to them to schedule, which has been a disaster.

[Coolcalm]

Hey Doc., thought I’d share some things I’ve been thinking.
Firstly I’d like to address your last post; if it was only sex and not more emotions involved she wouldn’t (anybody wouldn’t)care about how the last communication went and want to smooth over. And I don’t feel it’s all because she loves the sex so much (while yes may be true) it’s because she CARES about him. She seems desperate for HIM. She thinks about HIM. She told him she loves him-people don’t just say that with someone they like to only fuck. I know you just said that’s a “hard line” for you in a recent post but you’ve moved your lines so often it appears the line is a mirage. I’m not shaming you as anybody in your situation would rationalize for their wife or someone they love deeply.
Secondly, the guy is a cop. Police organizations do t like drama being out in the public and cops will work very hard to keep things calm in their affairs. I mean this affair already blew up his life so he’s being wary. He doesn’t know what else you and your wife might do to him. He’s probably so happy this didn’t get into his “Internal Affairs” department. People can always say the “cop intimidated me into the affair” because he’s a cop and all that. A lot of cops have affairs but they don’t let them become part of the station lore if they can help it. He might be thinking he dodged a bullet with what all went down and he’s just being wary. And anytime your wife gets desperate with him he will likely want to back off and then if it ever comes to light with internal affairs he can show on his phone and computer that he didn’t chase her, she was some lady who chased him.
Beyond that ANY man will gladly fuck a married woman and especially if her husband is desperate for it as you seem to be. It’s just that he’s afraid of what else you guys could do to him. He’s probably already losing half his pension and child support, etc. it’s not free and easy breezy for him as it is for you and your wife who is in love with him.
Just my thoughts.

[drstrangelove]

Hey Doc., thought I’d share some things I’ve been thinking.
Firstly I’d like to address your last post; if it was only sex and not more emotions involved she wouldn’t (anybody wouldn’t)care about how the last communication went and want to smooth over. And I don’t feel it’s all because she loves the sex so much (while yes may be true) it’s because she CARES about him. She seems desperate for HIM. She thinks about HIM. She told him she loves him-people don’t just say that with someone they like to only fuck. I know you just said that’s a “hard line” for you in a recent post but you’ve moved your lines so often it appears the line is a mirage. I’m not shaming you as anybody in your situation would rationalize for their wife or someone they love deeply.
Secondly, the guy is a cop. Police organizations do t like drama being out in the public and cops will work very hard to keep things calm in their affairs. I mean this affair already blew up his life so he’s being wary. He doesn’t know what else you and your wife might do to him. He’s probably so happy this didn’t get into his “Internal Affairs” department. People can always say the “cop intimidated me into the affair” because he’s a cop and all that. A lot of cops have affairs but they don’t let them become part of the station lore if they can help it. He might be thinking he dodged a bullet with what all went down and he’s just being wary. And anytime your wife gets desperate with him he will likely want to back off and then if it ever comes to light with internal affairs he can show on his phone and computer that he didn’t chase her, she was some lady who chased him.
Beyond that ANY man will gladly fuck a married woman and especially if her husband is desperate for it as you seem to be. It’s just that he’s afraid of what else you guys could do to him. He’s probably already losing half his pension and child support, etc. it’s not free and easy breezy for him as it is for you and your wife who is in love with him.
Just my thoughts.

Regarding your first point, I’d like to just move on. I’ve spent way too much time in this thread arguing this point.

My view is she patched things up with him because she enjoys having sex with him, being validated by him, and having a fun escape from her life. I accept that many of you disagree. But I have nothing more to add to the discussion.

Regarding your second point, I agree whole-heartedly. It was the first thing he said to her when they reconnected in December: he can’t risk me coming for his job; she dissuaded him of his concern initially. But as time passes, the risk vs. reward calculus changes and he’s likely hesitant to keep going due to fear of me being a loose cannon that he doesn’t want to deal with,

My wife has to decide between that cost and the risk of him pulling the plug entirely if he found out I know.

[Bomerang43]

Why do you all keep insisting on dr's wife is in love with F. He knows his wife better than anyone else. Just enjoy and respect.

[DoctorLuv]

Why do you all keep insisting on dr's wife is in love with F. He knows his wife better than anyone else. Just enjoy and respect.

I couldn’t agree more with you & Doc. It’s incredibly presumptuous for people outside their relationship to think they are privy to the innermost feelings & true motivations of Doc & his wife. I wish everyone would just give it a rest already.

To me it seems she’s having NRE. NRE can last a few weeks, or a few years, depending on the relationship. She has euphoria, infatuation, intense sexual chemistry, and spending lots of time thinking about sex with F at the expense of other commitments. On the other hand, she’s not anxious at all to really share her life with him. She doesn’t even want to be around him when she’s on her period. But like I said, it’s presumptuous of me to think I know what she’s really thinking.

[drstrangelove]

Update:

So after their quick exchange last week, they went silent again. My wife’s period began and she started taking BC. The other day my wife got the sense that he may just be done as he hadn’t reached out for a week or so.

I could tell she wanted closure and to see what happened—I suspected, as some of you have, that he simply didn’t want to risk blowing up his life again if I discovered their affair. My wife sent a text, basically asking if he wanted to stop and wanting to know where his head was at.

He replied that the cancellations last month were genuine, but while he’s been having a lot of fun, he wonders if they should keep doing this and he suggested they “chill” for a bit and then see what happens moving forward.

My wife replied lightly, that the timing was funny as she just started BC and then said she was good with that. She also told him again that if he’s stressed about me, he shouldn’t be as I gave her a hall pass and she chose to use it on him. Still, her framing still didn’t make it clear I knew. Regardless, he didn’t respond last night and I’d just assume the dynamic is done for now.

He may reach out again or my wife may find a new guy down the line, but I suspect the experiment will stall for a bit here.

I appreciate all the feedback and I enjoyed the most exhilarating time period of my life with this.

[mf2hd82]

I volunteer as her next lover. The cuck thing is starting to bore me. I think I'm a bull now.

[drstrangelove]

I volunteer as her next lover. The cuck thing is starting to bore me. I think I'm a bull now.

Yea, I can relate.

He responded and gave a face-slapping emoji because he was excited she was on birth control. So it’s this weird dynamic now where anytime he changes his mind, she’s ready to run over to him and let him cum inside her.

Meanwhile, we haven’t done anything sexual in more than a week and our sex life plummeted once she stopped seeing him. From an ego perspective, it’s not easy being a cuck. Even while I’m not actively being cucked, she’s created a scenario where I still feel like I am.

And as an aside, all he referenced multiple times how he really wanted to finish inside her. So now that she told him he can, how long will he go before wanting a booty call? He has a hot girl willing to go to his house in lingerie, blow him, anal, fuck him however he wants, then take his load inside her. If I’m being honest, I can’t really understand what he’s thinking—it just seems like a perfect setup to leverage.

FWIW, his last msg was basically: I’m not saying it (BC) won’t be put to good use, just maybe give me a bit…

[Guhunkadorn]

Very respectfully my friend you've done as much as she has to make you feel like a cuck...almost 6 years posting here.

It's been quite a journey; one of the more interesting ones on this site.

You know the situation better than me, or any of us, but I'm thinking he needs to know from her or even you that your good with all this.

[drstrangelove]

Very respectfully my friend you've done as much as she has to make you feel like a cuck...almost 6 years posting here.

It's been quite a journey; one of the more interesting ones on this site.

You know the situation better than me, or any of us, but I'm thinking he needs to know from her or even you that your good with all this.

100%.

It’s clear he’s not ok with sneaking around and while she reiterated that she has a hall pass, she’s unwilling to explicitly state I’m ok with it entirely.

I decided not to push the issue though—I would like to talk with her about all of this more soon, but I haven’t seen a good time.

Our sex life is a bit weird now though—she doesn’t want sex from me; she had only asked for my hand the last two weeks. I’m ok getting HJs and using my fingers on her, but it is a bit weird because she’s so open about how sex with him is so much better. I can tell she’s not trying to hurt me—I think it’s just a thing where because she thinks I’m ok with all of this, she doesn’t realize how hurtful it can be in certain moments.

It’s my bday this week, so I’ll have some fun sex I’m sure, but it’s all a bit strange now in the aftermath. I’ll update as things happen still of course.

[mf2hd82]

How is the birthday week treating you?

[drstrangelove]

How is the birthday week treating you?

My wife was really sweet: took me to some very nice dinners; got me a nice gift and an expensive bottle of wine as well. But sexually virtually nothing. On my bday she gave me a HJ and got annoyed with me for not enjoying it enough (she drank too much and wasn’t feeling well) then the next morning we had sex quickly before work, but it was rushed and not intimate at all.

She had been dealing with a cold earlier in the week, so I was cutting her some slack, but had hinted to her about lingerie and reconnecting over the weekend—then on Saturday we went up to bed early and she went right to sleep—it hurt.

I think ultimately it goes back to January—I shared with her a simple sex fantasy I’ve always had (essentially, BJ, cowgirl, into BJ as I cum in her mouth). At the time, she got annoyed with me because it was a sexual text during the workday, so I dropped it completely.

Then on Feb. 16, when she came home from F’s and told me what happened, she described verbatim the fantasy I shared (it was their first round, so the part before the audio). That bothered me a bit because I wasn’t sure if she did it intentionally or if I just planted a seed and she acted it out subconsciously. Either way, I left it alone.

Then in March I resent the text fantasy to her and she replied enthusiastically that she’d do it soon. Nothing happened and I pointed out she had done it with F and she claimed she had no idea.

All this is a long way of saying I was expecting her to use the wrapped lingerie I bought her and do something sexually fun for me during my bday week and it never happened. I know most of you will tell me I’m whining like a little bitch and that’s fine; it’s just how I feel. The result is just a severe disconnection from her right now.

[jratt85]

As people beyond just me have pointed out, she doesn't see you sexually anymore.. If anything she helps you from time to time just as her wifely duties, her sexuality is for him and him alone and you can just get yourself off thinking about her being with him.. At this point it's not her problem and she doesn't want to deal with it, especially with her not getting what she wants. As self centered as she is, I'm sure she's probably feeling a bit of animosity towards you for wanting it when you know she's not satisfied because he's not around, and she's 100% going to blame you for it. If she's happy it's his doing, if she's not it's your fault. She can't see, or doesn't care, that there's a middle ground where you need to feel wanted too and want her.. I bet, from what you've said, she'd probably call you a whiny bitch or a pussy and start cussing you out if you ever tried to explain it to her as that's not manly and she also doesn't see you as manly at all anymore.

From everything you've said, I think her position with you is you're a weird fucker that gets off on being humiliated and her fucking other guys and you don't actually want her you just want her to be your pornstar. Love/intimacy are out the window and sex to feel wanted doesn't matter at all. You're just there to pay for things and to take care of the kids, nothing more. If you keep pushing for it it's just going to push her more and more away just like what lead up to the affair in the first place and then you'll see that REALLY nasty side of her where she'll say and do everything she can think of to make you feel as small as possible as she attacks you for her problems.

I'm sorry, I wish I had something positive to say but.. life isn't all the Budweiser Frogs, Chamelons, and Ferret, it's often far too closer to AC/DC's Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, though she's also reminding me of Buckcherry's "Too Drunk to Fuck". (yeah I know, my references are random)

[Robinpost1]

You’ve changed the way that she sees you. For some couples it’s about sharing their partner, for other couples like you and your wife it’s less equitable which is where the cuck kink comes into play. It’s hot. But can change a woman’s perception of her husband sexually.

After he’s gone it doesn’t necessarily mean your seen as her alpha again. You are her companion. Emotional support. Her rock. Yes it’s love. But cumming in your boxers on her leg for a few years has changed her perception of you. Not sure how to get that back for you my friend.

[drstrangelove]

Not much has been going on. I’ve moved passed being disappointed by the lack of physical connection on my bday as pouting about it wasn’t doing me any good.

We did discuss briefly how we both feel with F in the rearview mirror though—we both really enjoyed it and want to do it again if she can find another guy. She just said she needs a bit of a break first to reset.

I’m trying to interpret and I suspect it’s a combination of wondering if F will reach back out and wanting to get over him if he doesn’t. She seems ok about it though. And knowing that she is open to continuing this life style is awesome. It was such a high for me that I’m excited it might happen again—though I also understand it could be months or years before it does.

We are going to an exclusive resort in Mexico in two weeks, so I’m hopeful I can push some boundaries and have some more conversations once we are relaxing on a beach with with no kids. I expect every one at the resort to be a couple, so unlikely anything would happen beyond just talk.

As for this thread, I can keep updating it, but it feels kind of lame going back to HJ stories and whatnot after the whirlwind the last few months.

In total, she saw him only four times, but it feels like so much more. Fortunately, I recorded her telling me what happened all four times and I captured the audio of her being fucked that last time, so those are now prized possessions that I jerk off to constantly. She’s staying on BC, so if F calls again or she meets a new guy and it goes well, creampies will be on the menu, so that’s fun.

Anyway, I hope you all are doing well.

[jacksonjones]

I've been following this thread since it first started and OP has consistently been selfish and demanding of his. Like, she got to a point where she was sure the marriage was over, had an emotional then physical affair, got caught, reconciled with her partner and put a ton of work into repairing the relationship and now, several tears later we're back where we started, with OP pressing his wife to pursue his fantasy even tho she doesn't really want to and has made that clear multiple times over the years.

OP, you two should split up now as it's clear you're determined to make your wife miserable if she won't fulfill your cuckold fantasies.

I'm just gonna stand by my previous comments.

[drstrangelove]

I've been following this thread since it first started and OP has consistently been selfish and demanding of his. Like, she got to a point where she was sure the marriage was over, had an emotional then physical affair, got caught, reconciled with her partner and put a ton of work into repairing the relationship and now, several tears later we're back where we started, with OP pressing his wife to pursue his fantasy even tho she doesn't really want to and has made that clear multiple times over the years.

OP, you two should split up now as it's clear you're determined to make your wife miserable if she won't fulfill your cuckold fantasies.

I'm just gonna stand by my previous comments.

No one cares where you stand.

For everyone else, I will clarify that I’m not pushing anything regarding cuckolding right now. When I noted potentially pushing boundaries in Mexico, I meant that I will take her lead if she goes down that path in any way (almost certainly verbally as I wouldn’t expect more than that).

She made it clear to me that this lifestyle is something she wants to continue, but needs a break now, so I’m just giving her space to figure out where this goes next.

[mf2hd82]

I for one enjoy the pussy denial / HJ stories and hope you continue posting even if that's all you have to share. How's your marriage feel over all? Are you two in a good place other than sexually?

[DoctorLuv]

I've been following this thread since it first started and OP has consistently been selfish and demanding of his. Like, she got to a point where she was sure the marriage was over, had an emotional then physical affair, got caught, reconciled with her partner and put a ton of work into repairing the relationship and now, several tears later we're back where we started, with OP pressing his wife to pursue his fantasy even tho she doesn't really want to and has made that clear multiple times over the years.

OP, you two should split up now as it's clear you're determined to make your wife miserable if she won't fulfill your cuckold fantasies.

I'm just gonna stand by my previous comments.

No one cares where you stand.

For everyone else, I will clarify that I’m not pushing anything regarding cuckolding right now. When I noted potentially pushing boundaries in Mexico, I meant that I will take her lead if she goes down that path in any way (almost certainly verbally as I wouldn’t expect more than that).

She made it clear to me that this lifestyle is something she wants to continue, but needs a break now, so I’m just giving her space to figure out where this goes next.

I certainly agree with you. I don’t care what anyone else thinks and I doubt very many people reading this thread care much what JacksonJones thinks or where he stands. However, I must confess I continue to be interested in what both you & your wife think & do.