What is the “Golden Ticket” to getting cuckolded?

[Shadnaster]

I don't see laziness up there.

I think she first started fantasizing about being with a woman. We made that happen and that lead us to be swingers. There is so much drama and it's so hard to make a 4 way connection that, her being a hotwife was just easier. So, I'm going with laziness. LOL

[MrPepeLePew]

It's a bit of a teeter-totter. I think most people start out already favoring one end or another and can be flipped (either way) depending on who is influencing them, how stubborn and set in their ways they are, how determined they are to stay the course vs. hearing new evidence to sway them, etc. If you're a D&D fan I think life in general is a lot like starting a new character. You have a certain set of attributes you start out with and life and environment influence those, sometimes dramatically changing you over the course of 5, 10 or 20 years+

Some of those people, whether born with it or influenced, have reached a point in their lives that this lifestyle just isn't a possibility. You will have to decide whether or not that makes them incompatible. Most often a gradual move in a cuckold direction can work with honest, vulnerable discussions and giving them enough time to wrap their head around where they are heading.

I would change the title of this to something more like "What are some indicators that make it more likely your mate will be open to a cuckold relationship?" or some variation of that.

My wife comes from a very conservative (and religious) background. In addition, she has a mother who is very much a fan of judging others. When I first met my wife she had a much more open mind than her mother but shared some of those tendencies. People who tend to be judgey do NOT like to be judged. Nobody likes to be judged, but those who judge often REALLY hate being judged. Sort of along the same lines as doctors making the worst patients. I think part of the appeal in judging is that someone else is the focus and it feels good sometimes to be able to take the high road and feel your path is righteous. I think women more than men like to use derogatory slurs like slut and whore against each other because promiscuous women are a threat. So a lot of women grow up thinking a certain way and fear being judged, especially openly but even by themselves and they just can't move past it (dudes have it so much easier in that department). So with us it took a lot of discussions and genuine interest and convincing before she was (relatively) confident this wasn't some sort of trick or lie and that I would indeed stay faithful, etc. Then more convincing on strategies to meet the right guy (which is still SOOO hard), frequency of visits, the list goes on.

So is there a "golden ticket"? No not at all. There are clues and hints that things could be more likely (or more difficult) down the road and that's really what you have to work with.

That's what's great about this lifestyle, you really do have to talk and reveal more of yourself than you ever would've in a vanilla marriage. As a vanilla dude I can't imagine a scenario where I'm telling her I want to watch a better, stronger, younger stud to nail her. Oh and by the way I have some other desires too, like getting it in the ass and wearing panties and I like being spanked, etc. You have to know your spouse and know them in a much deeper, more meaningful and vulnerable way, because you need their help (and her bull's help) to fulfill your deepest desires.

[DavaoMike]

None of the above. Back when my Filipina wife was my live-in girlfriend in Davao, Philippines, she was sneaking her first boyfriend, Arsenio (the one who took her virginity) into our apartment when I was away. When I caught them together, she was all apologetic, but I told her that I was okay with her having another boyfriend as long as we never had any secrets. The rest is history.

[dinoo]

I voted for "TALKING etc" because when I told her an fantasie of mine, she would even go kinkier and sometimes perverted.
We loved talking like this.

However, physically, it is another point of view.
When a guy came into her mouth, which she loved, she liked to kiss me to let me know what happened just seconds before.
More times she did it so exaggerated to show the onlookers how our relationship worked.

Dinoo

[SammySigns]

I picked the last option. She was into it as soon as I told her, but it didn't really happen until a guy she knew and liked really started hitting on her and sending dick pics.

[troilusand]

Well I put "promiscuous past" for us, but there are three others that apply, too. Like PE, orgasm failure, and below:

But for the rest of the world, I'd say it's "enjoys talking to you about your cuckold fantasy".

Nothing like pillow talk to really light a wife's fire to cuckold you.

But Cressida's sluttiness did it for us: She cheated (many times) early in our marriage, I caught her and realized I liked it! I talked her into fucking men whenever she wanted. Took some time, but she "relented" and let her inner whore come out.

Troilus

[LongTermHubby]

My wife had been with quite a few men before our marriage so she knew just how satisfying sex could be.

[jsawnlim]

Picked, 'She enjoys talking to you about your cuckold fantasy'. Someone with a more open and curious personality is just easier to entertain new experiences.

[bewareoflizzy]

She was more accustomed to cheating (as she did with me when engaged to another), so our budding conversation of my fantasy came as a surprise to her. She had to reconcile her own desires with her reluctance to openly have sex with another man with her husband knowing and approving. Soon enough, lust prevailed and she found the fantasy cock we both knew she wanted. He fulfilled her wildest dreams while married to another. She wanted someone larger than me that could make her orgasm vaginally and she enjoyed telling me her secrets after wild sex.

[EdwardTheBull]

I have found the real answer is if she will talk to other men, especially when you're not around. If a woman is willing to talk to you then most of the rest will fall into place even if she has a husband.

[BeNatural]

I have found the real answer is if she will talk to other men, especially when you're not around. If a woman is willing to talk to you then most of the rest will fall into place even if she has a husband.

Interesting reply. I've found that more introverts start off in polyamory, while the extroverts are a little more likely to like the casual forms of non-monogamy first. I'd count conventional hotwifing as being casual, for newbies.

I think small penis and premature ejaculation both make it more likely. Some decently endowed cucks like to write good replies about how that's not a good reason, but those guys that don't have a small one are good examples that diversity exists in cuckolding.

A survey on the Bad Girls Bible website found a much greater likelihood of cheating when their partner has a small penis.

The book Untrue, about female infidelity cited a study showing that women are 2.5 times more likely to cheat if they are sexually unsatisfied.

Ok, so that's in regards to cheating and not openly choosing non-monogamy, but I think the motivation is usually somewhat similar, with some couples being exceptions.

[EdwardTheBull]

I have found the real answer is if she will talk to other men, especially when you're not around. If a woman is willing to talk to you then most of the rest will fall into place even if she has a husband.

Interesting reply. I've found that more introverts start off in polyamory, while the extroverts are a little more likely to like the casual forms of non-monogamy first. I'd count conventional hotwifing as being casual, for newbies.

I think small penis and premature ejaculation both make it more likely. Some decently endowed cucks like to write good replies about how that's not a good reason, but those guys that don't have a small one are good examples that diversity exists in cuckolding.

A survey on the Bad Girls Bible website found a much greater likelihood of cheating when their partner has a small penis.

The book Untrue, about female infidelity cited a study showing that women are 2.5 times more likely to cheat if they are sexually unsatisfied.

Ok, so that's in regards to cheating and not openly choosing non-monogamy, but I think the motivation is usually somewhat similar, with some couples being exceptions.

Shrug. I mean there's problems with all of that data because people getting embarrassed and lie about stuff like this. There's a big difference between people's answers they believe are true and day that actually predicts things. But even if all of the data is completely true, it doesn't matter.

Your dick is the size it is and any guy who doesn't think that his emotions are affecting how he thinks of it is an idiot. Plus a lot of the rest of this is hard to get data on in day-to-day life.

But what you can pretty much always do is tell if a woman talks to other men.

[4incheslong]

I clicked on slutty past. She liked the variety a lot and missed it. It was a just ask and you have have some pussy for other guys when she was young and even now. Not for me just other guys. She made me wait when we first started dating and after marriage would cut me off for long periods.

[stonemtncouple]

I personally believe its what a woman feels believes about her own sexuality and where monogamy fits in.
If she believes sexual promiscuity for her is good then its easy to allow her to continue her pursuit of pleasure with others. If she believes in monogamy, good luck changing her belief’s.

[BeNatural]

I personally believe its what a woman feels believes about her own sexuality and where monogamy fits in.
If she believes sexual promiscuity for her is good then its easy to allow her to continue her pursuit of pleasure with others. If she believes in monogamy, good luck changing her belief’s.

Very insightful! I tend to think exactly that about longevity in these lifestyles. Underlying beliefs matter for longer term involvement.

[sanny]

Voted for promiscuous past. But it wasn't she being with a lot of guys. Her first marriage ended because of her affair. I told her early on that won't be a problem for me as long as she is honest with what she wants. And it turned out she was very receptive to it.

[Gulfcpl]

The golden ticket is talking to her about it. There is no magic sign. Simplistic, yes, but it gets everything out on the table.

[4incheslong]

I have found the real answer is if she will talk to other men, especially when you're not around. If a woman is willing to talk to you then most of the rest will fall into place even if she has a husband.

This is so true. At parties I noticed my wife talking with the same guy alone several times. It is only a matter of time and who makes a move. I got close enough to hear her talking about being easy back in college. An obvious invitation. Then another time she was sitting at a table after playing tennis alone with a guy and she had her leg up massaging her calf and he had a clear view of her panties as her shirt rode up. Both guys ended up asking for pussy and got it.

[4herpleasure89]

There is no one size fits all but if your wife is enjoying chatting online with a bull I would think she has made significant progress!

In my case I didn’t have a small penis and my wife wasn’t promiscuous. I started by miming the one sexual relationship she did have prior to marriage, then added porn focusing upon her pleasure. It came together after meeting other professional couples in the lifestyle that made her feel comfortable having her first experiences.

[Thebestdays1]

My ex Kate, had a promiscuous past.

As she grew up she found out she could be as turned on by looking at a woman as she could be by a man. Being Bi wasn't really talked about back then so she didn't understand why she felt that way.

Then she was seduced by a woman and her husband who were about twice her age when she was at a party. She was being fondled and touched by the woman in the car on the way to their place and within 5 minutes of arriving she was having her first orgasm on the mouth of the wife. Then she lost her virginity to the husband.

They explained that they had an open marriage and that being able to have sex with someone else, whenever the opportunity arose made their lives more fulfilling. It also bought them closer as a couple as they appreciated each other more. Their only stipulation was that they had to be totally honest with each other. The wife explained why my future wife was attracted to both men and women and that it was perfectly normal and that it also opened up more opportunities for sex.

Kate told her best friend about what had happened as she'd been at the party and saw the wife kiss her. As they spoke they were both getting turned on and ended up kissing, stripping off and they had sex together. She was convinced now that she wanted to have sex with men and women. I found out 25 years later that she'd had a similar talk with her elder sister with a similar result. She found she loved the different feelings she got from different people.

Over the next few years, before meeting me she had a fair few male and female lovers and often cheated on them. None of the relationships at that point were serious enough that she felt she should be honest enough to admit she'd cheated. Her best friend knew when she was sleeping with a man but she had no idea about the sister.

Between the time I met her and the time I proposed she'd blown one lad the day before we became boy and girlfriend and went with her sister and her best friend and knew she was never going to be able to be monogamous, especially as she enjoyed sex with a woman as much as with a man. So when I proposed she admitted her past to me and said she wanted an open marriage. I was so in love with her that I would have agreed to anything.

[Cuckyboy3]

My wife married me with the understanding that I was a masculine man, and 100% hetero. When I shared my fantasy of being cuckolded and feminized, she felt hurt, angry, and cheated. Now she has come around to staying with me, but clearly sees me as a sissy wimp cuckold. She has even teased me as a “faggot” for admitting that I would lick her clean after she’s been fucked and that I would even suck her lover to lick him clean too. She found that disgusting but also amusing. Definitely sealed things shut in terms of PIV sex for me.

[Funcpl500]

I picked premature ejaculation as it results in unsatisfied sex to the wife.

[Johnann2227]

We started swinging with friends when we were 21 and 20. Didn't intend to, it just happened on a camping trip. We loved it and kept doing it. That evolved into an open marriage where we could both pick up if we were out. As it is easier for women to pick up, Ann was getting laid more than me. Neither of us are jealous and the reclaim sex was fantastic. In our marriage (and in our swinger group) slut is a term of respect and means she loves sex and is actively enjoying other partners. Hotwifing was just the natural progression for us. If she wants a one night stand when out she does. Sometimes that special one night stand turns into a boyfriend. So for us trust, lack of inhibitions, communication and love are the "golden tickets" for hotwifing.

[trecital]

Most cuckold relationships start by accident, rather than by prior intent. It's most often just because the circumstances were right. It won't automatically happen just because she had a promiscuous past, or you are a premature ejaculator, or whatever. Although these things might help.
It mostly happens because the opportunity presented itself, rather than a premeditated arrangement.

I voted "She knows you can’t make her orgasm". It wasn't the 'Golden Ticket', but it might have helped.

[2inUPMichigan]

There is no golden ticket because that would assume that all hotwives are in the same circumstances and make the same decisions, which we know is not true.

There is no short cut to this, no obvious signs to look for to let you know if she would be interested or not.

Do you want to know how to find out if she is willing or wanting to become a hotwife? You ASK her, then you give her the time and space she needs to make this potentially life altering decision.