I'm trying hard (and doing quite well) with moving on. For me that's meant putting things in the past and kind of stopping talking about it or anything. But if things had to be summed up nice and short, just to get the basic facts out this quote would come very close to nailing it. Personally I feel and think about it very close to this. I feel and felt it was just meant to be. I adored and worshiped her and loved every second of my life with her. But looking back I know now I was never really the man for her. My Father was and is. It's strange to many and seen as fucked up and wrong. And maybe it is on many levels. But in the end the heart needs and wants what it wants. I would rather have gone through all the pain and discomfort that I did than to have her stay with me and secretly pine away for my dad. I know it makes me sound like such a loser but when you see them together or spend any time around them you just feel it. Wrong or right it's meant to be. They were made to be with one another. Some will say, sure they were because they are evil and twisted and just like each other. But people I tell you that's far from the truth. True they showed a selfish side to themselves. No way around that. But when you know in your heart you are supposed to be with and love someone you have to do it. She loved me and think she still does. Just not like a woman is supposed to love a husband. She wasn't truly cut out for the lifestyle we briefly toyed around with. She gave it an honest effort I think. She tried to be my wife and give me what she could on the fantasy side of things. But it just wasn't for her. She wanted to be with one man, a man she was completely in love with. For his part I know it was the same.confusedhusband wrote:throwaway118 wrote:
I'm sure his marriage falling apart hurt him on some level, but I think him being able to bounce back so ably into a new relationship is a reflection on the fact that his old marriage ending to him wasn't a failure or loss, it's how it was supposed to be.
They had to go through a lot of their own personal shit to get there and I know it must have been very tough on them too. All the questions and speculation and gossip. That can't be easy on you when you are being seen as some kind of villain. Being that I love both of them so much my heart hurt knowing they had to go through that. But I can honestly answer that being put in the same situation (knowing everything I know now) I would have had to follow my heart as well. How many people here would really "do the right thing" and not leave their spouse when they knew they were deeply and completely in love with another person who shared their feelings?
Also looking at it from the straight and narrow side of things which is or would be more fucked up (in societies eyes that is), for a wife to play around with a father in law and stay with the son, or for her to leave the son and just be with the father? Not that that's the point of all this but in general she took the less freaky fucked up road. I like freaky myself so I'm not coming out against that. I'm just saying as bad or wrong as it may be seen it's sure not as bad as the alternative in the world's view.
But the point is as bad a thing as they may have done, they only followed their hearts and are now living a happy and fulfilling life together. Not killing or raping or mutilating anyone. They are just normal people who went through a non normal event in their lives.
I no longer get angry or upset when people lash out here against them. I realize 90% of the time it's coming from a place of caring for me. I appreciate that. I used to feel a need to defend them and try to make others understand what I see or feel. But I know it's just a thing where people lean strongly to one side or another. Let the emotions of others be real and be what they are. It doesn't hurt me or change anything. My ex and my dad have no clue this is all being or been discussed anyway so no harm there.
I am extremely happy now. I can say with complete honesty I am 110% over every single bit of it and moved on to greener pastures now. That's not taking a jab at Jenna or anything. In my eyes she will always be some kind of Goddess or something. Just not my Goddess anymore. Paige is filling every need I have and if I could go back to the beginning and still end up right where I am now I would in a heartbeat. I'm just a very happy guy and everyone who feels horrible for me shouldn't. In my view life couldn't be any better than it is right now ;-)
Thanks again for your support!
