Being replaced

[4herpleasure89]

Thanks for your interest. There have been many ups and downs emotionally for me. I don’t see any danger of losing my wife but i sometimes fear losing her emotionally since like the op, she gets hotter sex from her boyfriend and she craves it.

I find myself turned on followed by being completely out of sorts. Her other lovers don’t make me feel threatened like this but this guy is in love with her and she is with him. My wife is aware of my concerns and is working to alleviate them. All-nighters are to be rare as they are the hardest for me to deal with. Other guys need to be in the mix as well.

I think much of this is just me overthinking and over worrying. But sometimes I read the extreme stuff here and I get fearful again. Our communication has improved since I posted this so I would say we are in a better place today.

[ucaneffher]

But sometimes I read the extreme stuff here and I get fearful again.

I am sorry if any of that has been been my content. I am wired quite differently and contrary to most cucks/stags here. I want to experience being her secondary choice. I hate that I want that but I’m learning to embrace it as time passes.

Glad that you two are learning to communicate better and she is taking your feelings into consideration regarding her relationship and activities with her boyfriend.

[pixwellguy]

Thanks for your interest. There have been many ups and downs emotionally for me. I don’t see any danger of losing my wife but i sometimes fear losing her emotionally since like the op, she gets hotter sex from her boyfriend and she craves it.

I find myself turned on followed by being completely out of sorts. Her other lovers don’t make me feel threatened like this but this guy is in love with her and she is with him. My wife is aware of my concerns and is working to alleviate them. All-nighters are to be rare as they are the hardest for me to deal with. Other guys need to be in the mix as well.

I think much of this is just me overthinking and over worrying. But sometimes I read the extreme stuff here and I get fearful again. Our communication has improved since I posted this so I would say we are in a better place today.

Thanks for coming back and updating! Very glad to hear you're in a better place today. I think you're right...if you let yourself overthink it all, it becomes a subject for worry, not for pleasure. You said you don't see any danger of losing your wife...that's the important thing to remember. All of us who share our wives emotionally will naturally worry about this....the key is to keep the communication open, and keeping talking about what bonds you together.

[residueS]

Hey. Well there isnt much going on at the moment. I got to the bottom of things between them - as i understand he is with someone else and prefers her over my wife. My wife told me she is/was in love with him and no longer me. She seriously proposed divorce, but has done nothing about it since. We haven't fucked in about 4 months, but actually we are getting on well at the moment, like not fighting and going out for dinner etc so maybe we can salvage the situation. So, who knows…. It might fix itself or it might be a calm before a storm! Im pretty sure that if he had wanted her, she would have left me back at the end of last year. She says she is done with this lifestyle but i think if the right bloke came along we could be right back in there. From my end, i have had offers from other women which i have found helped my self esteem and proves to myself that i also have options too!

Thanks for sharing your story. How are you guys doing?
From reading you earlier post, do you think you wife may development resentment after realizing you want her to fall in love?

[Rem503]

My wife's steady boyfriend is much better than me in bed. He has completely replaced me in our bedroom...and on our couch and in his car and in his bed.

[LawyerWouldbeCuckold]

I thought the point of cuckoldry was for the wife to have a Supplement...not (necessarily) a replacement. Not that I'm criticizing or being judgmental; I'm just wondering, at the end of the day, what does the (cuckold) husband get out of this? A divorce settlement, wherein most of the family/household assets go to her, and he ends up (as one poster put it) a dingy studio apartment, stripped of his wife, his home, his assets? Hope he is still financially secure to retire one day, the way most Americans are not. SHEESH! I realize it may be an unbelievable turn-on for some; as some of the posters have indicated, but I wonder at what point, fantasy interferes, and then supersedes, real life with some unknown and possibly very unpleasant consequences for the husband. (Full disclosure: I just finished my yearly financial review with my accountant, so that is perhaps where my head is at right now.)

[ucaneffher]

I thought the point of cuckoldry was for the wife to have a Supplement...not (necessarily) a replacement. Not that I'm criticizing or being judgmental; I'm just wondering, at the end of the day, what does the (cuckold) husband get out of this? A divorce settlement, wherein most of the family/household assets go to her, and he ends up (as one poster put it) a dingy studio apartment, stripped of his wife, his home, his assets? Hope he is still financially secure to retire one day, the way most Americans are not. SHEESH! I realize it may be an unbelievable turn-on for some; as some of the posters have indicated, but I wonder at what point, fantasy interferes, and then supersedes, real life with some unknown and possibly very unpleasant consequences for the husband. (Full disclosure: I just finished my yearly financial review with my accountant, so that is perhaps where my head is at right now.)

You raise some valid questions but as a stag turned cuck, I’d like to speak for myself and my “definitions” of both styles.

When I was a stag, her lovers were all supplements to out sex life. We both enjoyed it and while I received a tad less sex; I still had her full time for myself.

After a few years we both thought a transition would be good, especially since I craved to see more intensity and she wanted to give herself more to the other man. We were both on the same page.

We both wanted her to develop a deeper connection sexually as well as emotionally with her lover ( which resulted in him actually becoming her boyfriend) and along with this, both her and I agreed that we’d turn out heat down so that she could focus on him.

I feel that cuckolding is once it becomes more about her. When you can put yourself aside so that she can enjoy belonging to another man without losing you. You simply become deprioritized but still get to witness and enjoy what you like most, and that is seeing your gf or wife giving herself to another man.

As long as the couple is strong and the cuck is capable of falling back, while the wife is able to love and be with another man without dropping the cuck; all should be swell.

I know it sounds easier in writing but I believe that it is possible and believe there are some men capable of seeing the love of their life physically belonging to another man as well as letting her give herself emotionally to a man who takes priority over you.

[LawyerWouldbeCuckold]

I thought the point of cuckoldry was for the wife to have a Supplement...not (necessarily) a replacement. Not that I'm criticizing or being judgmental; I'm just wondering, at the end of the day, what does the (cuckold) husband get out of this? A divorce settlement, wherein most of the family/household assets go to her, and he ends up (as one poster put it) a dingy studio apartment, stripped of his wife, his home, his assets? Hope he is still financially secure to retire one day, the way most Americans are not. SHEESH! I realize it may be an unbelievable turn-on for some; as some of the posters have indicated, but I wonder at what point, fantasy interferes, and then supersedes, real life with some unknown and possibly very unpleasant consequences for the husband. (Full disclosure: I just finished my yearly financial review with my accountant, so that is perhaps where my head is at right now.)

You raise some valid questions but as a stag turned cuck, I’d like to speak for myself and my “definitions” of both styles.

When I was a stag, her lovers were all supplements to out sex life. We both enjoyed it and while I received a tad less sex; I still had her full time for myself.

After a few years we both thought a transition would be good, especially since I craved to see more intensity and she wanted to give herself more to the other man. We were both on the same page.

We both wanted her to develop a deeper connection sexually as well as emotionally with her lover ( which resulted in him actually becoming her boyfriend) and along with this, both her and I agreed that we’d turn out heat down so that she could focus on him.

I feel that cuckolding is once it becomes more about her. When you can put yourself aside so that she can enjoy belonging to another man without losing you. You simply become deprioritized but still get to witness and enjoy what you like most, and that is seeing your gf or wife giving herself to another man.

As long as the couple is strong and the cuck is capable of falling back, while the wife is able to love and be with another man without dropping the cuck; all should be swell.

I know it sounds easier in writing but I believe that it is possible and believe there are some men capable of seeing the love of their life physically belonging to another man as well as letting her give herself emotionally to a man who takes priority over you.

if it works for you, then it works for you; but I guess my next question is....from her standpoint- she physically belongs to him; emotionally he takes a higher priority than you do....what exactly, to her, is the upside/benefit of her keeping you in her life? Unless I"m missing something, it seems that have manuvered (sp?) yourself into a position to where you are (almost) superfluous.

[ucaneffher]

Excellent question… I don’t have much of an answer other than having two men. Willing to share her. One has her more than the other.

[4herpleasure89]

ucaneffher Sort of answered this question but here is my view. A wife benifits in many ways, two men who love her exclusively is a big one. Emotional financial security might be another.

The husband is her life partner, perhaps the father of her children and accepts her unconditionally. The lover brings thrill and excitement but in our case lacks qualities that would make for a great husband while killing it between the sheets. Myself I have never struggled attracting women and feel confident in my ability to still. My wife says the same thing. But I love giving everything to her including a safe fulfilling sex life with other men, even if that area I’m deprioritized some.

ucaneffher‘s situation is a bit more extreme to me and can be hazardous if it goes to far. It is also his perspective and I often find quite different from the wife’s.

[pixwellguy]

.....The husband is her life partner, perhaps the father of her children and accepts her unconditionally. The lover brings thrill and excitement but in our case lacks qualities that would make for a great husband while killing it between the sheets....

A perfect explanation of our situation.

[dinoo]

Being replaced can happen in every marriage. Everybody knows.
I encouraged my wife not to hide her inner feelings because of the natural background of it. MHO.

Troilusand wrote:
We've reached a good plateau where he is her lover in every sense of the word, while she and I remain a loving, supporting, committed married couple. We have discussed having her live with him on and off, but for various reasons this can't happen right now - if it could, I'm sure we'd be doing that.

My wife fell in love to another man because of the beautiful and uncommon sex they had.
Countless times he penetrated her only with his unprotected glans till she couldn't bear it anymore.
She took the initiative to put his huge and unprotected cock into her pussy.
She confessed why: "I'm fallen in love with him."

I never felt replaced. On the contrary, I was happy for her.
It brought us closer to each other as ever, talking about it, exchanging our fantasies about what could happen more.
Like a divorce or having her live with him.

"Never in my life", she said.
"To have a husband who can even accept me loving another man, seems to me an exception.
Being able to love two men at the same time, is a treasure I don't want to loose. Even when better sex than with him is unthinkable.
I'm more than satisfied with the sex you and I have. And you can always watch us.
So why damaging a strong bond and marriage?
The biggest mistake I could ever make. You are my most important man and that will stay forever."

[cpeater]

I wonder if Jezza is still around and would like to give us all an update? This has been a fascinating story.

[Showoffcouple]

Isn't the fear of being replaced by a superior lover part of the allure of cuckolding? The cuck sure tries a LOT harder when he's faced with a superior male figure in his wife's life.

[AgegapCuck]

For me part of the relief is for the bull to replace me. For another man to take responsibility for satisfying her pussy. To know I’m beta and ‘replaced’ as her lover doesn’t mean I’m not relevant to her life. I’m the husband. I’m just not the primary male in her bed.

[gordon921]

Jezza is still around, last I remember he was pussy free after his wife's affair ended, not something I would enjoy in the least.

[Chrislydi]

Jezza is still around, last I remember he was pussy free after his wife's affair ended, not something I would enjoy in the least.

He posted on another thread within the last week or two

[Tomek001]

For me part of the relief is for the bull to replace me. For another man to take responsibility for satisfying her pussy. To know I’m beta and ‘replaced’ as her lover doesn’t mean I’m not relevant to her life. I’m the husband. I’m just not the primary male in her bed.

husband, i.e. a babysitter and an ATM?

[AgegapCuck]

For me part of the relief is for the bull to replace me. For another man to take responsibility for satisfying her pussy. To know I’m beta and ‘replaced’ as her lover doesn’t mean I’m not relevant to her life. I’m the husband. I’m just not the primary male in her bed.

husband, i.e. a babysitter and an ATM?

You really do have a churlish outlook. You can’t babysit your own kids. They are both of our responsibility and what’s wrong with her wanting to raise them with me in a shared family?

Also I am no more her atm than she is my cook. We share. It’s a partnership. The only exception is in bed where she prefers to be ridden by her lover. That’s every week or so. The other 95% of the time she is in bed cuddling me. I’m lucky to have her.

[Chrislydi]

Isn't the fear of being replaced by a superior lover part of the allure of cuckolding? The cuck sure tries a LOT harder when he's faced with a superior male figure in his wife's life.

I'm not even sure that's entirely true in all cases, the cuck can be more than happy to concede the primary role completely to the bull, first of all for far less penetrative sex, but in some cases that can also lead to far less of all types of other sex too, if the bull demands it of his submissive female. There can be an excitement rather than fear of being replaced, and the cuck wishing for it not trying to stop or delay it.

[parklife]

For me part of the relief is for the bull to replace me. For another man to take responsibility for satisfying her pussy. To know I’m beta and ‘replaced’ as her lover doesn’t mean I’m not relevant to her life. I’m the husband. I’m just not the primary male in her bed.

husband, i.e. a babysitter and an ATM?

You really do have a churlish outlook. You can’t babysit your own kids. They are both of our responsibility and what’s wrong with her wanting to raise them with me in a shared family?

Also I am no more her atm than she is my cook. We share. It’s a partnership. The only exception is in bed where she prefers to be ridden by her lover. That’s every week or so. The other 95% of the time she is in bed cuddling me. I’m lucky to have her.

Just want to say…. I fully support this way of thinking…. Why would everything have to be a zero sum gain and be ‘equal’ to work? Clearly it doesn’t and it doesn’t have to mean one is being taken advantage of if they live such an arraignment.

Whatever works in one’s relationship, the rest be damned.

[pixwellguy]

.....Also I am no more her atm than she is my cook. We share. It’s a partnership. The only exception is in bed where she prefers to be ridden by her lover. That’s every week or so. The other 95% of the time she is in bed cuddling me. I’m lucky to have her.

Absolutely right on! This is exactly the relationship my wife and I have too. It's wonderful and works for us both.

[Wooster]

.....Also I am no more her atm than she is my cook. We share. It’s a partnership. The only exception is in bed where she prefers to be ridden by her lover. That’s every week or so. The other 95% of the time she is in bed cuddling me. I’m lucky to have her.

Absolutely right on! This is exactly the relationship my wife and I have too. It's wonderful and works for us both.

Plus one! A celibate marriage would suck IF that’s not what you wanted. Our marriage doesn’t include sex, and we’re both happy this way.

[Jezza2543]

Jezza is still around, last I remember he was pussy free after his wife's affair ended, not something I would enjoy in the least.

He posted on another thread within the last week or two

Yep still about, nothing exciting to update on my story im afraid - no more cuckolding, and not really getting on very well with her ATM for other reasons - Ill stick about and contribute to others posts!

[FNQLivin]

Jezza is still around, last I remember he was pussy free after his wife's affair ended, not something I would enjoy in the least.

He posted on another thread within the last week or two

Yep still about, nothing exciting to update on my story im afraid - no more cuckolding, and not really getting on very well with her ATM for other reasons - Ill stick about and contribute to others posts!

That’s sad. Do you think it all comes down to the cuckolding in the end though?