wife interested in other guy

[Bi+Gigh]

So not able to explain my feelings right now. My wife and Conor left today for a long weekend at an island resort. They are celebrating his 25th birthday and their new status as bf and gf. I'd normally be filled with anxiety and jealousy but now I'm actually excited for both of them. I keep thinking about all of the sex they'll be having and I'm happy for her.
We actually went out shopping the other night cause she wanted to buy some new beach clothes. I picked out a bikini for her that was sexy af and that wouldn't cover much down there. She ended up liking it too. Then we went out to dinner and we were like a couple of girlfriends talking. I was asking how much sex she thought they would have and what was the best part of sex with him (fucking but oral is a close second). She also said he's asked her if she would ever take him anally cause he's never done it (I volunteered he could start with me. I have a dildo close to his size). So she might let him try this weekend. I've seen him hard and he's huge so we talked about how to get ready. I even gave her my lube to take. And after dinner and shopping we actually had some fairly decent sex.
So how do I go from being filled with anxiety and jealousy when they sleep together to feeling excited for their weekend away together? I asked her to send some pictures of them together (and having sex) and she said she would if Conor is ok with it.
And when he picked her up today, I got a bro hug from him.
Do you grow into this lifestyle?

[parklife]

So how do I go from being filled with anxiety and jealousy when they sleep together to feeling excited for their weekend away together? I asked her to send some pictures of them together (and having sex) and she said she would if Conor is ok with it.
And when he picked her up today, I got a bro hug from him.
Do you grow into this lifestyle?

I wouldn’t say “grow INTO this lifestyle” but I think you absolutely grow in this lifestyle. You’re finding things that work for you, things you enjoy. I never had jealousy when my wife started but frankly I’ve evolved from wanting/needing to hear everything about her date and ex with others to feeling like I don’t need details, I just want to know she’s enjoyed herself, that she loves what she’s doing and that we’re good in our relationship. When you enjoy your partners enjoyment, it’s a great feeling.

I don’t see myself as a cuck, but other might…. I don’t care either way… I love seeing her glow after she’s come back from a night being out. The NRE your wife feels can be infectious and you can feel some of that too I believe.

[Brute]

Where do you want this to go? Do you just want to be the supportive husband who enjoys the emotions of his wife being with another man? Would you like to watch, or even join in?

How are you doing with the time being alone? I found that my life came to a stall when my wife was spending time with a boy friend. It's not enough time reorganize your life as if you single, yet some things can't move forward until she gets home.I also resented that she expected me to take care of her pets and plants while she was playing.

[Bi+Gigh]

So how do I go from being filled with anxiety and jealousy when they sleep together to feeling excited for their weekend away together? I asked her to send some pictures of them together (and having sex) and she said she would if Conor is ok with it.
And when he picked her up today, I got a bro hug from him.
Do you grow into this lifestyle?

I wouldn’t say “grow INTO this lifestyle” but I think you absolutely grow in this lifestyle. You’re finding things that work for you, things you enjoy. I never had jealousy when my wife started but frankly I’ve evolved from wanting/needing to hear everything about her date and ex with others to feeling like I don’t need details, I just want to know she’s enjoyed herself, that she loves what she’s doing and that we’re good in our relationship. When you enjoy your partners enjoyment, it’s a great feeling.

I don’t see myself as a cuck, but other might…. I don’t care either way… I love seeing her glow after she’s come back from a night being out. The NRE your wife feels can be infectious and you can feel some of that too I believe.

Others have said I'm a cuck now. I guess I don't care if I am either.
But can you talk about NRE some more? I somewhat understand the concept and I'm wondering if my wife and her bf are going through this. They want to see each other a lot, and they talk frequently. How long does it last? Is it like a natural high that you suddenly come down from?
And thank you for your comments.

[Chrislydi]

I'm thinking along the same lines as the previous two posters, it doesnt matter what you label it as, even if I think with or without humiliation it's still cuckolding, but it hardly matters as you're all getting so much out of it and it's heading in such an exciting direction. Just show how much you appreciate her when she gets back and I hope you continue this journey of self discovery.

The NRE stuff is a very established phenomenon that happens with most couples in or out of the lifestyle. It will reach a peak in the early weeks but then plateau. It's impossible to be so exact as to put time limits on it, as with all human behaviour there will be so many variables affecting each case.

It's all to do with the initial novelty of seeing someone different, a newly exciting feeling with someone where the feelings seem to give an added extra special flavour to your everyday life, it's lifted it from being a very good existence to a great one. Like all new things that novelty and newness doesn't last as time passes, what seemed so uplifting assumes more of a mundane quality, it's something you've experienced many times and no longer so new and special.

[Bi+Gigh]

Where do you want this to go? Do you just want to be the supportive husband who enjoys the emotions of his wife being with another man? Would you like to watch, or even join in?

How are you doing with the time being alone? I found that my life came to a stall when my wife was spending time with a boy friend. It's not enough time reorganize your life as if you single, yet some things can't move forward until she gets home.I also resented that she expected me to take care of her pets and plants while she was playing.

These are all great questions, Brute. Thanks for asking them. And I don't know where I want this to go. I don't know if I even get to decide that. I feel like I'm at the mercy of where they want to take it and I decide if I want to go along with them. I don't know yet. In the meantime, I'm fine with being a supportive husband. And the reality is I'm getting to know her bf Conor and he's really a great guy.
As far as joining in, I'm starting to feel differently about that too. I haven't wanted to watch, but I have listened to them from the bedroom next to ours. In being completely honest, I am bisexual and he's really hot lol. One of the things my wife found to be incredibly hot was when I gave my college roommate blow jobs. I'd be pretty ok with doing that to Conor. And I'm more into doing the creampie thing too. He knows I'm bi and what we did with my college roommate. But he's not said anything about what he thinks about it. He just kinda laughs when we talk about the stuff we did.
And I have made some plans for the weekend to stay busy and to be with people. But my mind will never be far from thinking about what they're doing at that moment.

[parklife]

I would think they are undeniably having NRE…. If I read the timing correctly, in April and before, there was likely sexual tension building and then you two talked and she got the greenl light recently… it’s only been a couple of weeks of breaking that tension so I’d guess that there is lots of excitement for everyone.

How long it lasts is anyone’s guess… depends on the people involved and on how frequency they see each other in this new FWB situation I would think. My wife has been seeing her FWB for nearly a year and a half and I’d say there was NRE for about a year… they’ve fel into somewhat of a new routine. I dont think they sudd let came down from it but rather their schedules got so busy, some cancellations happened and the newness sort of fizzled out. They still look forward but I sense less NRE.

Personally, I enjoy seeing her in the throes of NRE. It’s infectious and bleeds into our life when she has it. Cherish to this stage, I’m sure your wife is adorable going thru it.

[Brute]

I am guessing there is not big age gap between the three of you, from what I have read, and this would be her third lover. I am also going to guess that you were not always present when she had sex with your friend in college, in which case none of this behavior is completely new.

He is 25, unless your wife is the only woman in the office, everyone will know they have lustful energy and have probably acted on it in a few weeks. Not all work places are alike; some have more tolerance than others. My ex-wife worked at a place that had no problem with co-workers having affairs unless a spouse made a fuss about it.

I would kind of categorize this as an affair with permission. Right now she is being driven by the lust hormones. She is not only experiencing NRE, she is idealizing him. It statistically won’t, but if the relationship did make the transition to cuddle hormones, turning into something long term and he makes more money than you; your marriage is in trouble.

[Brute]

You mentioned that back in college she thought your bisexuality was hot. Does she still? Does she occasionally bring up how hot it is? Maybe her willingness to offer up her ass to Conor is to open him sexual experiences!

So now I am interested if this going to end up: cuckold, poly, or stag/vixen.

[Bi+Gigh]

I am guessing there is not big age gap between the three of you, from what I have read, and this would be her third lover. I am also going to guess that you were not always present when she had sex with your friend in college, in which case none of this behavior is completely new.

He is 25, unless your wife is the only woman in the office, everyone will know they have lustful energy and have probably acted on it in a few weeks. Not all work places are alike; some have more tolerance than others. My ex-wife worked at a place that had no problem with co-workers having affairs unless a spouse made a fuss about it.

I would kind of categorize this as an affair with permission. Right now she is being driven by the lust hormones. She is not only experiencing NRE, she is idealizing him. It statistically won’t, but if the relationship did make the transition to cuddle hormones, turning into something long term and he makes more money than you; your marriage is in trouble.

Thanks for the input.
We are 27 and he just turned 25 last week. And you are correct that I was not always there when she and my roommate had sex. Sometimes tho I stayed in my bed and they were in his bed right next to me.
They work for a fairly large company with lots of people around. I don't know if anyone has figured them out. But they both took off Thursday and Friday to go away and will be returning to work tomorrow tanned/sunburned. Personally, I don't I care if some of their friends at work know about them. I just don't see that as my problem??
I think I agree with you about the lust. The guy is very good looking, former college athlete with a great body, and he's got a big one. And he knows what he's doing in bed from the sounds of it. I know he doesn't quite get why I'm ok with their relationship but he's not going to walk away from a situation where a great looking woman who also has a great body will pretty much do whatever he wants sexually. She was going to let him do her anally this weekend, her first time. I also don't believe he would want a long=term, committed relationship with someone who doesn't believe in monogamy. At least that's what I'm hoping for.
And I work for my father's company and will take it over at some point so money is not an issue. I think that could be part of the reason she wants to stay married but I do believe she loves me.
Thanks for your insight Brute.

[Bi+Gigh]

You mentioned that back in college she thought your bisexuality was hot. Does she still? Does she occasionally bring up how hot it is? Maybe her willingness to offer up her ass to Conor is to open him sexual experiences!

So now I am interested if this going to end up: cuckold, poly, or stag/vixen.

She does still think it's hot. She has mentioned me giving him blow jobs already but she thinks it's too soon to introduce that. She asked me if I would do it and I told her I would. It gets her incredibly hot so it would payoff for Conor. And I'd be happy to share some sexual experiences with him. But I get the impression he's really straight.

[Bi+Gigh]

I would think they are undeniably having NRE…. If I read the timing correctly, in April and before, there was likely sexual tension building and then you two talked and she got the greenl light recently… it’s only been a couple of weeks of breaking that tension so I’d guess that there is lots of excitement for everyone.

How long it lasts is anyone’s guess… depends on the people involved and on how frequency they see each other in this new FWB situation I would think. My wife has been seeing her FWB for nearly a year and a half and I’d say there was NRE for about a year… they’ve fel into somewhat of a new routine. I dont think they sudd let came down from it but rather their schedules got so busy, some cancellations happened and the newness sort of fizzled out. They still look forward but I sense less NRE.

Personally, I enjoy seeing her in the throes of NRE. It’s infectious and bleeds into our life when she has it. Cherish to this stage, I’m sure your wife is adorable going thru it.

My wife is beaming while going through this. I think he is too. I spend time around them since he a room mate who they work with so our place is about their only option for sex unless they go to a hotel, which can get expensive. And I like making her happy so they're welcome to be around our place. Listening to them going at it was tough at first but I've gotten not only used to it but can get excited listening. At some point I'd like to ask them if I could watch.
Wow, your wife was in the NRE for almost a year? I didn't think it would last that long. But they're seeing each other quite a bit so I guess it could last.

[Brute]

Let just say, I am rooting for you two, and that you and your wife get to have a MMF. I think both of you would be happy.

[Bi+Gigh]

Let just say, I am rooting for you two, and that you and your wife get to have a MMF. I think both of you would be happy.

I know it would make me happy. I'm not expecting being allowed to touch him. Maybe being in the same room and watching. I'd take that.

[Bi+Gigh]

So my wife and her bf were away this past weekend. I guess one of the highlights was her agreeing to let him do her anally. It wasn’t easy to make happen but eventually they were successful. So he asked her what fantasy could he make happen for her since anal was his. So as I’ve written before, one of the things my wife finds to be her favorite is to watch me go down on another guy. She asked him to let that happen.
So he was at our house last night and they brought it up to me. But he changed it some. He’s going away again with his family (parents and younger twin brothers) for a long Memorial Day weekend. He said to me something like he understands that my wife would like to see me getting to know “Conor Jr” a little more and he grabbed his crotch. I didn’t want to appear too into it so I just said “I don’t know, maybe” or something like that. He then said he could make that happen if I agreed to not trying to have any kind of sex with my wife until he’s back. I didn’t want to come across as too submissive to him so I said I couldn’t make that promise, that she’s my wife and that’s something important between married couples. I wasn’t expecting, but should have, my wife to get mad at me for not agreeing to it since she finds me giving a bj to be incredibly hot. So she and Conor stormed off to the bedroom with her slamming the door.
I thought about it some more and realized I wasn’t going to have sex with her anyway now so why have her angry with me all week and weekend. I knocked on their door and asked if I could talk to them. I went in, apologized to my wife and said I didn’t mean to piss her off and I would do what Conor asked. Now, remember that I am bi and he is hot. He was laying there naked I think with a semi. So with my heart pounding I asked him if I could take care of him now. He just laughed and said something about I must really want to suck it. In the end, he said no, not until he gets back and knows that we didn’t have sex. Shortly after that, I hear them going at it.
I went into this arrangement not wanting the dynamics of the relationships to change. Obviously once I do him, they will change. Does anyone have any idea how, though? What should I expect going forward

[Chrislydi]

The definition of cucking is a fairly loose one, so that different couples mean different things by it. You stated you didn't want to be in a cuckold relationship and your wife said she had no interest in cucking you.

Move on not very long and you are prepared to be denied in order to fulfill your wife's fantasy when her boyfriend returns after the memorial holiday.

She gave him his fantasy without conditions, he promised to give make her fantasy a reality in return but crucially set conditions, and not just on her but on you two.

While not exactly extreme humiliation, being denied in order to fulfil her fantasy, even if it's a shared fantasy, sounds awfully like cucking to me, especially giving your consent to abide by his request following their storming off to the bedroom. Yes the dynamic is changing, he has now made an unwanted request and you have eventually shown s willingness to obey it, a precedent has been set.

From Conor's point of view his place has been confirmed in the order of things, he may well think that he can now stretch the envelope a little further knowing he's done it before.

Chris.

[Bi+Gigh]

The definition of cucking is a fairly loose one, so that different couples mean different things by it. You stated you didn't want to be in a cuckold relationship and your wife said she had no interest in cucking you.

Move on not very long and you are prepared to be denied in order to fulfill your wife's fantasy when her boyfriend returns after the memorial holiday.

She gave him his fantasy without conditions, he promised to give make her fantasy a reality in return but crucially set conditions, and not just on her but on you two.

While not exactly extreme humiliation, being denied in order to fulfil her fantasy, even if it's a shared fantasy, sounds awfully like cucking to me, especially giving your consent to abide by his request following their storming off to the bedroom. Yes the dynamic is changing, he has now made an unwanted request and you have eventually shown s willingness to obey it, a precedent has been set.

From Conor's point of view his place has been confirmed in the order of things, he may well think that he can now stretch the envelope a little further knowing he's done it before.

Chris.

Chris,
Thanks always for your insight.
I still don't want to be cucked. And I doubt my wife even knows what cucking is so i don't believe this was deliberate cucking on her part. I have stated before, and my wife and I have talked about it, I wouldn't be opposed to participating in some kinky sex with them if Conor was interested, tho. So I was just regarding doing the oral sex on him as that.
But I agree with you that he put conditions on it while my wife did not for him. I tried to reject the offer but needed my wife's support but she wanted to have the fantasy happen too much.
And you are also right in stating that a precedent has been set. But I don't think he's all that interested in getting blow jobs from me, especially since my wife is pretty good at them (since I taught her how to give good ones). I just think he's repaying the fantasy to my wife while getting something out of it, too.
But, we'll have to wait and see what develops.
Thanks again.

[Chrislydi]

Chris,
Thanks always for your insight.
I still don't want to be cucked. And I doubt my wife even knows what cucking is so i don't believe this was deliberate cucking on her part. I have stated before, and my wife and I have talked about it, I wouldn't be opposed to participating in some kinky sex with them if Conor was interested, tho. So I was just regarding doing the oral sex on him as that.
But I agree with you that he put conditions on it while my wife did not for him. I tried to reject the offer but needed my wife's support but she wanted to have the fantasy happen too much.
And you are also right in stating that a precedent has been set. But I don't think he's all that interested in getting blow jobs from me, especially since my wife is pretty good at them (since I taught her how to give good ones). I just think he's repaying the fantasy to my wife while getting something out of it, too.
But, we'll have to wait and see what develops.
Thanks again.

In the end it's working out well for both your girlfriend and yourself and that's the main thing, as the desire to please her is always paramount.
Cucking or not, it's just a label and whether it is or not isn't that important in the wider scheme of things. You could easily say you were being pragmatic in that this short period of denial is a worthwhile price to pay for her fantasy (and possibly yours) to be fulfilled.

I do think my other point about him setting the conditions is valid though, and it's not in the context of him wanting you to suck his cock again as I agree that's against his nature. What it does do is show he has set an unwanted condition (denial) and you have reluctantly agreed, and that's a big psychological shift, he will now gain confidence and perhaps feel more ermpowered because of it.

[rascalnvixen]

I do think my other point about him setting the conditions is valid though, and it's not in the context of him wanting you to suck his cock again as I agree that's against his nature. What it does do is show he has set an unwanted condition (denial) and you have reluctantly agreed, and that's a big psychological shift, he will now gain confidence and perhaps feel more ermpowered because of it.

I agree with this view. Although Connor may not be fond of bisex, I think your wife's desire and enjoyment of seeing you sucking cocks will continue and he will likely agree to her further requests to watch that. So, that is not a huge issue for you but what will really be the game changer for you is that he will surely be setting further conditions and demands upon you in the sexuality and eventually other aspects of your life and marriage. You will need to decide when you will resist and how much. You might want to be sure you and your wife have open talks about the conditions he may propose. I get the sense he would love to dominate you and your wife and those conditions are in fact a bit of a power play towards you two and you and she need to be aware of that!!! Just my thoughts.

Good luck!!!

Rascal

[Chrislydi]

Taken from page one just as they started escalating their relationship to another stage

'Both my wife and then both of them have talked to me about them not wanting just a physical relationship. In just a few short weeks of being together they have developed some pretty strong feelings about each other. And that is obvious to me, as well. They are now referring to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend and want to be together a lot. And I'm feeling incredibly inferior to him.'

Now obviously a further shift is in prospect with him, not only being with, but perhaps even exerting a level of control over your wife (her ready agreement to his condition of your denial) and then through her, controlling yourself too. You can even call it something other than cuckolding if you like, but such a turning point in the dynamic can't just be ignored. If there was such a thing as 'a time out' then this is the perfect time to call it.

Serious discussions about where you are now headed need to take place and why there can't be more arbitrary conditions set by him. How about your wish to watch them, may be that will be granted with conditions, the precedent set will have been done for a purpose be sure of that.

The guy may now be showing you his true colours and not be so likeable after all.

[Bi+Gigh]

I do think my other point about him setting the conditions is valid though, and it's not in the context of him wanting you to suck his cock again as I agree that's against his nature. What it does do is show he has set an unwanted condition (denial) and you have reluctantly agreed, and that's a big psychological shift, he will now gain confidence and perhaps feel more ermpowered because of it.

I agree with this view. Although Connor may not be fond of bisex, I think your wife's desire and enjoyment of seeing you sucking cocks will continue and he will likely agree to her further requests to watch that. So, that is not a huge issue for you but what will really be the game changer for you is that he will surely be setting further conditions and demands upon you in the sexuality and eventually other aspects of your life and marriage. You will need to decide when you will resist and how much. You might want to be sure you and your wife have open talks about the conditions he may propose. I get the sense he would love to dominate you and your wife and those conditions are in fact a bit of a power play towards you two and you and she need to be aware of that!!! Just my thoughts.

Good luck!!!

Rascal

Thanks, Rascal for your input. I've been thinking about the advice and insight I've gotten from you guys on this, although I've been trying to deny a couple of things, I have to put them together.
I've had a couple of boyfriends in high school and college. In each case, I was the submissive bottom. I didn't seek that out but it did come naturally.
Conor was the captain of his college lacrosse team so seemingly an alpha type.
Last night when I was in the bedroom, he and my wife were naked in my bed (oddly enough, my wife covered up). So while standing there, I told Conor I'd do what he asked and, oh by the way, can I suck your dick? I felt or saw his ego and cockiness, but who wouldn't when your girlfriends husband asks to go down on you while you're lying naked with the wife?
So maybe putting that condition on me was a way of testing me. And this past weekend when they were away I asked "G" (my wife) to send some pictures. They (I know Conor was involved in the selection) sent me 2. One, G was sucking his dick and the other she was sitting on his lap (he was naked) in the skimpy bikini I had picked out for her. I did ask myself if it was some kind of a power statement but didn't believe it at the time.
So in putting all of this together, I think you might be right Rascal. And as Chris said, he might try to keep pushing the envelope.
So the question becomes how much can and will I stand up to him without pissing G off?
And yes, G and I really need to talk about this.
Thanks for the time guys. I appreciate it.

[Brute]

So she and Conor stormed off to the bedroom with her slamming the door.

So she got upset, why?

Was she upset that she wasn’t getting her hot sexy BJ scene.
Did she feel betrayed that she gave up her ass to give you this opportunity and you threw it away.
At this point in time Conor is more important than you.

It actually sort of matters.

Let me ask another question, before the wedding was G having more sex with you or your friend?

[Bi+Gigh]

So she and Conor stormed off to the bedroom with her slamming the door.

So she got upset, why?

Was she upset that she wasn’t getting her hot sexy BJ scene.
Did she feel betrayed that she gave up her ass to give you this opportunity and you threw it away.
At this point in time Conor is more important than you.

It actually sort of matters.

Let me ask another question, before the wedding was G having more sex with you or your friend?

Hey Brute,
She got upset because she wanted to watch me suck his dick. Very simple. She gets off on it big time.
And I can't disagree with you that right now Conor is more important than me.
And G was having more sex with me than my college friend. But he moved to another city for work and had gotten a gf.
But he would occasionally visit and we would have a mfm.

What are you thinking?

[Chrislydi]

I think it's important to state while the warnings might come over as negative it's possibly because of your stated intentions of having no interest in going down the cuckolding rabbit hole.

Feelings and intentions can change, just as events and circumstances can make the dynamic change or evolve too. If you're now comfortable with a far greater submissive role towards Conor as the undisputed alpha then rather than holding back, you might want to explore this further.

You know your own mind and as you say have been submissive towards males in the past, the difference here being that Conor isn't a willing participant, but doing it only to fulfill your wife's fantasy. If Conor hasn't changed his sexual mores and preferences then this will be very unlikely to be repeated without him imposing further and perhaps more extreme or punitive conditions.

Chris.

[Brute]

I am going to assume she gave her ass to him because she is really into him right now and wants to make him happy. I am also going to guess she has not denied you despite your pleas.

So I am guessing that she is motivated by her fun. Right now she has a new toy dominating her attention, but she not going to let go of you. About as good a place as you could want in this lifestyle.

I think further you may enjoy a bit of the sub dynamic, the role of serving her boyfriends and her like wise. I think also that you may need to compartmentalize that to the bedroom and not let it drift into rest of your life and as a couple.