Early experiences that paved the way...?

[StockingHubby]

I posted a similar thread a couple years back, and it was fun to discuss, but fell off the queue. Been trying to figure out and explain (to myself mostly) what started this fascination with hotwifing. As in, what were the things in my past that set the stage for this interest (and it is an intense interest!)?

Some thoughts/experiences that I can come up with:

1. One of my long-term high school/early college girlfriends started "soft" cheating on me, out in the open really, toward the end of our 2.5 year relationship. She decided to lean into her religious values and started going to youth group with a guy who graduated one year ahead of me in high school (she was two years younger than me). This guy was not only older, and had gone away to college, but was a soccer player and she always had a crush on him. Well, they started going to Bible study together - I would go over to her house and wait for her to get dropped off, often sitting and watching TV in the living room with her father. She would stroll in, sometimes 30-45 minutes past when she said she'd be home. I'm positive they were making out in his car after Bible study, and possibly even her giving him a BJ. Those are some of the earliest pangs I felt in my stomach, but at the same time, it was kinda' hot to "know" what was going on. Her dad was NOT happy about the situation and clearly felt badly for me. No worries - I broke up with her about two months into this scenario and she went to her senior prom alone.

2. That same girlfriend, after we broke up and I moved away to college, kept in touch with me. I visited her one weekend at her Bible college she went to. We did just about everything but sex during that weekend. One of the days, when she was taking a shower, I found her journal near her bed and read the latest few entries. Some of the hottest stuff I've ever read - her detailing from her perspective her various sexual escapades over the past summer (after we had broken up). Some graphic detail for sure... and it was hot to hear her perspective. Realized how much she had been lying to me also (she and I had stayed friends, at her suggestion, and she had told me how boring her summer had been).

3. The movie "Summer of Sam" has to be high on my list of experiences that got me interested... the scene where the main character cheats on his girlfriend in the parking lot with her cousin is hot... and then the hotwife/threesome scenario that happened later in the film was ridiculously hot to me.

4. The "Eyes Wide Shut" film, long ago, with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman was hot - I was intrigued by the idea of the masks and having sex with people not "fully knowing" who the person was... and the idea of maybe watching my significant other "mistakenly" being done at an orgy by someone else...

5. There is an infamous episode of Playboy TV's "Swing" where the white guy has a cute little blonde amateur wife who ends up in a very natural way having pretty awesome sex with a big black bull, right in front of her dorky husband... her moans are crazy hot. Anyone know the scene I'm talking about?

6. My wife told me about an almost foursome she had back while she was in college - her details are sketchy, and she said she felt awkward and didn't go through with it... but the setup and hearing her tell what little she'll say about it has always been hot.

7. Actually, the biggest thing that has fueled the desire has been the "stories" my wife has told me over the years... she's a GREAT storyteller... some of them are true, some are made up... I think I can tell the difference. But hearing her talk about these scenarios has always got me excited.

Trying to think of what else... what were some of your first experiences/memories that set you down this path?

[BrunetteLover]

Romantic/sexual angst coinciding with the 'teen years' is a universal experience. Absent any real tragedy in life, they become some of the most powerful emotional memories we accumulate.

I am convinced these feelings take a lifetime to work through. I was recently visiting my elderly parents (still at home in the house I grew up in) and I walked past the house of my HS girlfriend. I felt an emotion, not powerful, but recognizable nonetheless.

She too broke my heart, but she did what she did because I broke her heart first. It happens.

Experiencing hotwifing from the man's perspective is a liberation from what we knew previously as painful angst, and the facing head-on of all of our fears.

[StockingHubby]

Romantic/sexual angst coinciding with the 'teen years' is a universal experience. Absent any real tragedy in life, they become some of the most powerful emotional memories we accumulate.

I am convinced these feelings take a lifetime to work through.

Powerfully said… I guess that begs the question - if everyone has to resolve these kind of feelings (because it inevitably is part of early dating), then why do some resolve it the way WE all seem to have… never thought of it that way… that this lifestyle/interest could be one of many possible ways to deal with these issues.

Thanks!

On top of that, I suspect that there are experiences that sort of suggest hotwifing as an idea and plants the seed.

[BrunetteLover]

Powerfully said… I guess that begs the question - if everyone has to resolve these kind of feelings (because it inevitably is part of early dating), then why do some resolve it the way WE all seem to have… never thought of it that way… that this lifestyle/interest could be one of many possible ways to deal with these issues.

Thanks!

On top of that, I suspect that there are experiences that sort of suggest hotwifing as an idea and plants the seed.

Men being cheated on, women finding sexual freedom while also married... these are powerful taboos that only a select few (us) can overcome the stigma of.

More thoughts... feeling jealousy is a form of relinquishing power to the one causing you to be jealous; they now have control over your most powerful emotions.

We all remember feeling jealous/hurt at some time in our lives. Now, we give that power to someone whom we trust completely - our wives - and it is a form of taking back control of your emotions, of harnessing them for pleasure, not pain.

[frank12]

Ah the memories

Among my youthful pre-sexual and sexual explorations were two that are likely to have had some formative influence. At the time neither were very connected to anything that I would have labeled in any way beyond fascinating and erotic but looking back they surely influenced me.

The first was pre-high school, a time when it was more often about fondling, petting …. rarely more but with the right circumstances there could be oral pleasures. The circumstances are far too complex to tell how it was arranged but the situation was that I was expecting to bring a girl back to a cabin shared with another guy my age. At first it was “hey, find somewhere else to be” but then it turned to him suggesting he would feign being asleep.

A bit of illicitly-acquired alcohol was involved and that probably contribute to her lowered inhibitions. It was not the first time we had played but this was hot knowing he was watching as she agreed to get her top off and then - wow - to remove her shorts to get some pussy licking. She loved it, gently squirming around and clearly muffling her orgasm - not sure if that was because she knew he was up on the upper bunk watching us on the floor or just usual caution.

A bit more fingering and enjoying her breasts but it wasn’t long before she had to find her way back to the girl’s cabin.

The second tableau played out in high school. This time the situation involved a good friend who had his girlfriend with him and we were hanging out at my house after a beach day. Late at night and a few beers he started pawing her a bit but she kinda shrugged him away and then surprisingly pulled my hand to her breast atop her t-shirt. It was clearly an invitation and soon we were kissing (sloppily). At first it was more of a MFM thing with both of us fondling her and he was moving down to lick her a while but It was quickly obvious that she was pushing him away.

And after a while he moved away and was just watching as I got the rest of her clothes off and had her sucking my cock then fucking her with her ankles up on my shoulders. We were having to stay rather quiet but she made some good orgasm grunts.

There was no particular fallout after that - she remains his girlfriend and there were no tensions. We continued to hang out but the scene was not repeated.

It was many years later I experienced a couple who enjoyed my participation as a fulcrum for the hubby’s submissiveness, but I was probably well prepared for that.

[StockingHubby]

Thanks for the insights Frank. Reminds me that in teen years and college, it’s common to have various forms of. On-private sex.

[slenderfish]

5. There is an infamous episode of Playboy TV's "Swing" where the white guy has a cute little blonde amateur wife who ends up in a very natural way having pretty awesome sex with a big black bull, right in front of her dorky husband... her moans are crazy hot. Anyone know the scene I'm talking about?

Yes, I know the exact one you are talking about. His look is a bit Scandinavian. But more dorky than anything. So dorky that they were all in the "Red Room" for a big group encounter but none of the other couples or women were responding to him and they all left the room, with his wife deep into passion with the black guy, and the dorky guy kind of standing there on the sideline watching. It is quite hot to me and I stumble onto it from time to time, and am always pleased to revisit it!