Question from a prospective hotwife

[ranchwater]

After 20 years of marriage, two weeks ago, I (M 54) finally got the courage to tell my wife (F 51) about the hotwife fantasy I have had for years. Even though she was surprised, she was glad that I told her. I did my best to explain it to her, and I think she finally started to understand it. At this point, I think she was fine with the idea as long as it remained a fantasy. A few days later I admitted to her that I wanted it to be more than a fantasy. She did her best to stay in the conversation with me, but she said she didn’t see any way the fantasy would ever become a reality. To her credit, we ended the conversation agreeing that we would both try to learn more about it and just slowly see here that journey would take us. As a side note, she is the most wonderful wife a guy could ask for, and at this point if she ever were to consider this, it would be her doing it for me…..which I told her I did NOT want her doing.

In the meantime, our sex life has been rejuvenated beyond imagination. Our learning about hotwifing has continued as we both have read more about the fantasy. My research brought me to this site, and we even began roleplaying her with another guy. Over the past few weeks, my conservative wife has become a sex goddess. She has more confidence, she feels more sexual, and she says that she is thinking about sex all day long. In addition, our communication has vastly improved, which we both agree only adds to the amazing sex – we both feel as if we could tell each other anything, and the added intimacy in knowing this is incredible.

On the handful of occasions that we have talked about how the fantasy might really happen, we prefer a stag/vixen type of arrangement. She would want me to be there, and I would obviously want to be there, as this has been my fantasy for years.

We are still in the learning process of seeing if this is something we would ever really do. She is clearly not there yet. But, last night as we roleplayed her with a bull, she said that she really was able to imagine fucking another guy. And this morning, she let me know how hot it makes her to think about what that first time would look like.

She knows I’ve become a new member of this forum and she has even read a few threads with me. She asked if I could find some threads where the hotwife is describing (in detail) what that first time was like. I will continue to review older threads in search of such posts, but if anyone can point us to a description of their first time, that would be very helpful.

We’re taking baby steps and hopefully will enjoy this journey together.

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum ranchwater. You are in a no lose situation where you have great sex and if she goes for it it will only get better.

[SilverStag]

Congratulations! You have discovered one of the best outcomes of this "hobby" that there is...open lines of communication. You are free to discuss anything without judgement and discuss in teh operative word. If you wife is willing to talk about intimacy and Ethical non-Monogamy, you are on your way to taking your adventure to wherever it leads. Enjoy!

You might want to get her a profile in the ladies section, where she can speak to other women about her concerns and questions.

[ranchwater]

Thank you! She just registered to get her own profile. Just waiting to get activated.

[Bluetoed]

Congrats!

Like you, on December 23rd (a little over three weeks ago) I accidentally let it slip that I have had this fantasy for years. It was my dirty little secret and I no intention of ever telling her, because she is a life long conservative evangelical christian, and I thought she would react the same way most convervative evangelical christians responded to the news that Jerry Falwell Jr is a cuckold who had been watching his wife have sex with the pool boy for years. I saw absolutely nothing good that come from telling her.

But that late December morning I was totally relaxed after some great morning sex and we were having a great post sex conversation. For some reason my guard was down when she asked "what's your latest fantasy". I just naturally answered it.

Have you ever had a moment where you said something, paused, and wished you could grab what you just said out of the air and stuff it back in your mouth? I was absolutely terrified.

To make a long story short, just like you the last few weeks have been absolutely amazing! Best sex we have ever had, sometimes numerous times a day. Best intimacy! Best communication. Best our lives have ever been.

It's never going to happen in real life, because our circles are very similar to the Falwell's circle, and if we tried it in real life and word got out, our world would crumble around us. But sharing the fantasy in our bedroom with each other is awesome!

If your wife decides she just can't do it in reality, I would recommend the $3 to buy The Faithful Hotwife for Kindle from Amazon. My wife and I read it together and helped immensely to get us on the same page given what I dropped on her was like a bomb that morning.

[The good hub]

After 20 years of marriage, two weeks ago, I (M 54) finally got the courage to tell my wife (F 51) about the hotwife fantasy I have had for years. Even though she was surprised, she was glad that I told her. I did my best to explain it to her, and I think she finally started to understand it. At this point, I think she was fine with the idea as long as it remained a fantasy. A few days later I admitted to her that I wanted it to be more than a fantasy. She did her best to stay in the conversation with me, but she said she didn’t see any way the fantasy would ever become a reality. To her credit, we ended the conversation agreeing that we would both try to learn more about it and just slowly see here that journey would take us. As a side note, she is the most wonderful wife a guy could ask for, and at this point if she ever were to consider this, it would be her doing it for me…..which I told her I did NOT want her doing.

In the meantime, our sex life has been rejuvenated beyond imagination. Our learning about hotwifing has continued as we both have read more about the fantasy. My research brought me to this site, and we even began roleplaying her with another guy. Over the past few weeks, my conservative wife has become a sex goddess. She has more confidence, she feels more sexual, and she says that she is thinking about sex all day long. In addition, our communication has vastly improved, which we both agree only adds to the amazing sex – we both feel as if we could tell each other anything, and the added intimacy in knowing this is incredible.

On the handful of occasions that we have talked about how the fantasy might really happen, we prefer a stag/vixen type of arrangement. She would want me to be there, and I would obviously want to be there, as this has been my fantasy for years.

We are still in the learning process of seeing if this is something we would ever really do. She is clearly not there yet. But, last night as we roleplayed her with a bull, she said that she really was able to imagine fucking another guy. And this morning, she let me know how hot it makes her to think about what that first time would look like.

She knows I’ve become a new member of this forum and she has even read a few threads with me. She asked if I could find some threads where the hotwife is describing (in detail) what that first time was like. I will continue to review older threads in search of such posts, but if anyone can point us to a description of their first time, that would be very helpful.

We’re taking baby steps and hopefully will enjoy this journey together.

Reading your story and it almost sounds like mine word for word!! Except that all you describe was us last year. My wife’s post is “having troubles flirting” if you’re interested in how it went for us but I can tell you that if you keep going, prepare yourself for a hell of a ride!! One year later and wow have things changed!!Best of luck to you

[Seekingmore12]

I would also recommend “ figuring it out “ by lookingforadventure

G

[mrsranchwater]

Hi all, Mrs. Ranch Water here. If you had told me even a month ago I would be introducing myself on this forum, I would have thought you were crazy. About 3 weeks ago, my husband and I went to a hotel to enjoy a “staycation” for his 54th birthday. We had a wonderful time, enjoying uninterrupted time to ourselves and a lot of great sex. At one point, we played a fun game that centered around fantasies, which led to my husband sharing his fantasy of me having sex with another man while he watched. At the time, I thought it was purely a fantasy, so I didn’t think too much of it. We even did some fun role play around this fantasy, which resulted in some great sex. However, a couple days after we got home he admitted this fantasy was something he hoped would become a reality. My initial reaction was surprise – and honestly, a bit of fear realizing that he might have a sexual need/expectation that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to fulfill. However, we continued to talk and decided to continue to open up to each other and see where this journey leads us.

We have been married for 20 years, and I’ve always been reserved/shy when it comes to sex. My husband was always the one to make the “first move”, and in my mind (I’m sure due to my upbringing), I thought that was normal.

Flash forward to three weeks ago when my husband opened up to me about this fantasy. I know this was something he’d held inside for years, and was terrified to admit this to me. The fact that he was so trusting and vulnerable with me in talking about this……I don’t know, it’s like a switch flipped. We became close in a way I never imagined. And something changed in me. I seemed to lose my inhibitions overnight and suddenly my sexuality exploded! We’ve barely been able to keep our hands off each other since, and the uninhibited communication we’ve had with each other has been amazing.

The way my husband looks at me and talks to me now is absolutely intoxicating – I feel desirable in a way I haven’t felt since I was single. It feels like I’m married to a new man, and I know my husband feels the same way about the “new” me. We both feel very fortunate that this has happened after 20 years of marriage, and are very excited about this “new normal”.

For now, I don’t know where this journey will lead. I just want to keep sharing and exploring with my best friend and seeing where this goes. Whether this remains in the “fantasy” realm or eventually becomes a reality, we both agree that having this fun, “naughty” secret between just the two of us is so fun, and incredibly hot! We would be the last couple you would ever suspect doing this, and we both think that’s hilarious.

I would really enjoy the Ladies Forum to hear about experiences from the wives’ point of view and get their perspective.

For now, I am one happy “prospective hotwife” and more in love with my husband than ever.

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum mrsranchwater. You will probably get more advice and encouragement and men wanting you than you can handle. Be ready for some serious fun.

[aztd]

Following

[mrsranchwater]

My husband just revealed this fantasy 3 weeks ago. As of now, we have just been discussing it and engaging in some fun role play. I'm not ready to do this yet, but am very curious if there was anything that helped the women on this site work through this stage? I'm asking for more personal advice than reading suggestions on the hotwife fantasy, as we've already done a lot of that and I understand it.

[BrunetteLover]

My opinion is that you have to want it as much or more than he does. If the two of you are about even in your desire, it can be amazing. If either of you are much more into it, that can be very destructive.

The fact that you are reaching out for advice is a good sign.

It also depends on what stage of life you are in. I could not imagine my wife doing this before she did, when she did, it was excellent timing. Mid 40s.

[mrsranchwater]

Thank you. I am 51, my husband is 54 and we have been married for 20 years. He has had this fantasy for 10+ years, and I'm 3 weeks in, so it's safe to say that we're not in identical places yet. But he has repeatedly said no pressure, and we're just having fun with the fantasy and our much reignited sex life and communication, and learning as much as we can at this point.

[54321]

Dear Mrsranchwater,

I suggest you become a registered hotwife. Then, you will be able to access the exclusive Ladies' Lounge. There, you will be able to discuss issues with all the other registered hotwives on this forum.

Also, if you wish, you might like to grace the pages of the Hotties Forum. You can be as bold or reserved as you like. You may well be quite charmed by the responses you receive.

Every good wish,

54321

[venus-can99]

Welcome MrsRanchWater. In one of the posts above, seekingformore recommended viewing the thread "Figuring It out" by lookingforadventure. She goes into great detail about how it all started. It is great to get a woman's perspective. I also found a thread by Jane - Jane's Adventure also very enlightening. There are many others but these are the two top of mind.

Good luck to both of you on your adventure/journey and looking forward to reading all about it.

[mrsranchwater]

Thank you for the suggestion on the Ladies' Lounge!

[Farmgirl]

Hi all, Mrs. Ranch Water here. If you had told me even a month ago I would be introducing myself on this forum, I would have thought you were crazy. About 3 weeks ago, my husband and I went to a hotel to enjoy a “staycation” for his 54th birthday. We had a wonderful time, enjoying uninterrupted time to ourselves and a lot of great sex. At one point, we played a fun game that centered around fantasies, which led to my husband sharing his fantasy of me having sex with another man while he watched. At the time, I thought it was purely a fantasy, so I didn’t think too much of it. We even did some fun role play around this fantasy, which resulted in some great sex. However, a couple days after we got home he admitted this fantasy was something he hoped would become a reality. My initial reaction was surprise – and honestly, a bit of fear realizing that he might have a sexual need/expectation that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to fulfill. However, we continued to talk and decided to continue to open up to each other and see where this journey leads us.

We have been married for 20 years, and I’ve always been reserved/shy when it comes to sex. My husband was always the one to make the “first move”, and in my mind (I’m sure due to my upbringing), I thought that was normal.

Flash forward to three weeks ago when my husband opened up to me about this fantasy. I know this was something he’d held inside for years, and was terrified to admit this to me. The fact that he was so trusting and vulnerable with me in talking about this……I don’t know, it’s like a switch flipped. We became close in a way I never imagined. And something changed in me. I seemed to lose my inhibitions overnight and suddenly my sexuality exploded! We’ve barely been able to keep our hands off each other since, and the uninhibited communication we’ve had with each other has been amazing.

The way my husband looks at me and talks to me now is absolutely intoxicating – I feel desirable in a way I haven’t felt since I was single. It feels like I’m married to a new man, and I know my husband feels the same way about the “new” me. We both feel very fortunate that this has happened after 20 years of marriage, and are very excited about this “new normal”.

For now, I don’t know where this journey will lead. I just want to keep sharing and exploring with my best friend and seeing where this goes. Whether this remains in the “fantasy” realm or eventually becomes a reality, we both agree that having this fun, “naughty” secret between just the two of us is so fun, and incredibly hot! We would be the last couple you would ever suspect doing this, and we both think that’s hilarious.

I would really enjoy the Ladies Forum to hear about experiences from the wives’ point of view and get their perspective.

For now, I am one happy “prospective hotwife” and more in love with my husband than ever.

First off, Welcome to our little part of the world !!
You have already discovered the wonderful closeness that Hotwifing brings to a marriage, and I am so happy for you. When you get a chance, hit up armyguy to be verified and join us in the Ladies Lounge, they're a great bunch that are fun and helpful.
Anything I can help with, let me know.

[subbieCuck]

After 20 years of marriage, two weeks ago, I (M 54) finally got the courage to tell my wife (F 51) about the hotwife fantasy I have had for years...

I found it quite liberating telling my wife about my hotwife fantasy. We havent made the extra step yet, but doesnt really matter. I had to tell her. Telling your wife your deepest fantasies/fears (and listening hers as well) is what marriage is all about.

Well done!

[Farmgirl]

My husband just revealed this fantasy 3 weeks ago. As of now, we have just been discussing it and engaging in some fun role play. I'm not ready to do this yet, but am very curious if there was anything that helped the women on this site work through this stage? I'm asking for more personal advice than reading suggestions on the hotwife fantasy, as we've already done a lot of that and I understand it.

I and the other VHW would be more than happy to answer any questions or just talk. All of us have bright blue names, except 2inUP, she has a bright gold name (she's special , really she is ).
You can ask us on the open forums or by PM, or of course join us in the LL.

[Natatude]

Yes please join us at the ladies lounge!! I love it there. When hubby told me he wanted to share me, we role played for a few years and I told him if I get to pick the man, I’d be game. So when I picked him we invited him to a small party, and it happened. We just learned in August on 2021 it was called hotwifing and we found this place. Since then I have had others. Some have worked out, some haven’t.

[mrsranchwater]

Thank you for your feedback! I'm relieved hearing stories where you spent quite a bit of time in the role play stage. This is all VERY new - excited and overwhelming right now!

[SammySigns]

I know it helped my wife that she worked with a guy she was attracted to who wanted her and kept flirting with her.

[Bluetoed]

Thank you for your feedback! I'm relieved hearing stories where you spent quite a bit of time in the role play stage. This is all VERY new - excited and overwhelming right now!

My wife just learned of my fantasy on Dec 23rd. So just over 4 weeks ago.

She is adamant that it is "never going to happen", but we are having a ton of fun fantasizing about it. It's like we are newlyweds again. I am not disappointed that it will never happen. I love we what have now!

[MartasBoy]

My wife says that what took her so long to try it, was that she is very particular, and must feel some chemistry with the person. It is just hard to find somebody that feels right. She has always said that she can't explain what it is that makes the situation and the person feel right, but she just knows it when she feels it.

We did lots of trials in hotel cocktail lounges. She goes to the bar to order a drink and I sit at a distant table to watch, as guys approach her. She just visits and flirts.

[mrsranchwater]

Thank you for that feedback Bluetoed. I agree that the fantasizing is so fun, we feel like newlyweds too! And it makes me feel good to hear you love where you are now, I also agree this new normal is amazing and appreciate where we are even right now. We're on almost an identical timeline too, would love to hear your thoughts as more time passes!