Should I continue please advise

[sandy9820]

Need an urgent advise on this 4 months back my wife went on her 1st date wt a guy whom she was attracted to in gym we had many talk what can happen as the date was planned a week before she know my hotwife fantasy and also that I don't want any emotional connection and don't want anybody from our locality but in his case it was both the things were there, For her date we also got her new makeup kit I shaved her pussy a day earlier as on that day I was going out of town, she was in continues contact with me and I was encouraging her to enjoy herself suggested to take a bath before going apply makeup properly she wore a beautiful dress not reviling one, she left at 8pm and she was in continues loop with me, when she sat in his car in 2min they started kissing they went for dinner where he kept his hand on her thighs, she got drinked very much later they went for a romantic walk, on the way back she initiated kiss him and told that she wants to do sex but it was too late, she touched his cuck pulled his zip and took in her hands he pulled his pants down and she started giving him oral he came in a min this was all going on while he was driving, on the way they had ice cream and he dropped her home at 1 am. I welcome her with kiss, She told me all the details and was very happy. 
After a month she planned for second date I applied her the makeup done her nails etc. She went at 4pm I told her to return by 10.30pm as children gets restless if she is not around on the way she asked him to get condom (she told me this later) she msg me an hr later it was frustrating as i was worried,
As they reached the beach had romantic walk went for dinner had drinks at 7.45 she msg me that they were searching for room I got crunch in my stomach and was quite jealous as my beautiful wife is going to fuck him at 8pm they went to the room as he went to washroom she undressed her and lied in bed with bra and panty as he came he started kissing her removed her bra and suck her nipples which she enjoys most removed her panty after he removed his clothes and came near the bed she sucked him for few moments he put the condom pulled her legs on bed and fucked her while standing and her legs at his chest, then she came on top and gave nice strock to him (she is very good at that) afterwards he came on top and fucked her in missionary position and came in her afterwards they lied naked cuddling with boobs at his face at 9pm they dressed and left from there she came at around 10.45pm. first time I saw such a glow on her face I welcomed her with kiss and a cup of coffee she gave me all the details, and told me she it was the most memorable day for her as it was her fantasy of her to fuck him, 
I told her that this was her last time I agreed because it was her dream to do that and reminded her that I told her back then that I don't want anyone involved that I know them or anybody near our area she agreed at first but after 2 days our sex life affected, she is lost her interested in sex (as its my need) her face became dull, I know the reason but I am not comfortable with this guy as she is emotionally attached to him. I know she loves me, I am confused want the advise from all experienced people should I allow her to continue neglecting my self respect. will post my back story soon but i need advice on this asap because if I receive positive response and if am convinced with it I will ask her to go on Valentines day itself
Also want to add that her fb thinks that she is cheating on me

[veub]

She planned the date before you discussed cuckolding with her? How long had/has their relationship been going on?

[sandy9820]

No we discuss it earlier but I made it clear the he shouldn't be known person anyone from our locality. She had a crush on him for last 5 years, even she went to his office when he was alone they chatted for a bit, then she showed her nude pictures on phone afterwards they started kissing and he pulled her top and sucked her boobs. When she returned she told me everything I became rock hard and we had wonderful sex that night. After a week or so I told her to cut all the contact with him as she was emotionally attached to him.

[SilverStag]

She is behaving that way because she is disappointed. It's like taking candy away from a child while they are eating it.

You two need to talk about the situation and each lay out your feelings and reasons for feeling the way you do. The idea is to reach a common ground. Perhaps if you remind her that she will have as many opportunities to play with other guys as she wishes, it may ease the sting for her.

As a side note, many couples initially put rules on their play that restrict; locals, kissing, multiple dates with one person, etc, all because they are worried about their spouse leaving them for the new "toy'. Once she gets a feel for how many opportunities there are for her and how much control over choosing the men, she may settle down and you can relax a bit. Then you can revisit the "rules" after you two gain trust in each other.

[Des 31]

I'm just guessing from the information you offered but suspect her subsequent loss of sexual interest is a result of your request she not see him again.

Most of us in this way of life have found a wife's extramarital sex enhances the marital sex, but this isn't for every couple. In our experience, we have determined that the marital relationship must be rock solid. Communication between a husband and wife considering this must be open and complete. The security of a marital relationship can be at risk if the marriage is otherwise troubled.

Repeated sex with another man typically results in emotional bonding, but most of us find that's no threat to our marriages. My wife has bonded with others who fuck her but neither of us would consider splitting up; the development of feelings between two people who have sex is normal and understandable. The more often they're fucking, the deeper the feelings but it isn't commonly the same as the relationship with a married partner.

Your last remark was that the other man fucking your wife isn't aware of your approval. My wife has on a few occasions not told some men I approve but has found that, in general, it's better they know that I do. That forms a barrier between him and my wife in the event he wishes the relationship to become more than it is. It's just sex and for fun between the two.

For those couples who lack trust, communication, jealousy, and insecurity, there are no guarantees in this way of life. Those qualities aren't mentioned in your post. The part about your not wanting others to know she dates other men is usually not a problem for couples in this lifestyle. Neither my wife nor I wish others to know either. Unless she or I tell others, there's virtually no way that would become common knowledge. Her men don't tell others and neither do we. She will not go out in public with other men when dating in our city unless it's for business reasons, and neither would exhibit any behavior to cause suspicions.

The only other matter I can think to mention is that a husband's feelings of insecurity and jealousy are common at the outset. If your marriage is reasonably solid, that shouldn't be a concern but it takes time for some men to be comfortable with it. The fantasy of either the husband or wife is far different from the reality, and either will find that out only when it finally comes about. If you can't handle her feeling emotionally attached to another man, particularly after having sex with him, this way of life may not be for either of you. That's going to happen whether you or she intends it to come about or not. I would be glad to offer the many reasons that commonly come about, but you can find it through online searches (with words like, "effects of a man's semen in a woman," "why women emotionally bond with other men after sex," and the like).

~ Des

[unclecuck]

you will get tons of different advise. this is not a one size fit all.
but i will give you my opinion and i am sure many wont agree.
to me, you are controlling. you cant tell her go have sex but dont have emotions or attachment. this will happen and you need to accept that.
lots of time is NRE and it will slow down as time passes.
you need to work on yourself first before you proceed with this.
i can also tell you that it will be easy for her to stop but she will have grudge against you that will be hard to repair. and I promise you that soon you will beg her to do it again and she might not want to. this desire you have is too strong and you will agree to anything she want.

Uncle

[parklife]

Like uncle said, you’ll get lots of viewpoints as we each come from our own unique perspectives…

For us, it really came down to two things. One, what makes my wife most comfortable and two, what can I handle? We decided that an old flame was ultimately the most comfortable route for her to explore when we started and then later that having a friend with benefits was important for her rather than multiple men. I initially wanted her to be with multiple men because it felt “safer”. Ultimately it became about what was best for her. My desire for this to happen meant I needed to get over my hang ups and concerns or risk that it wouldn’t happen at all. I quickly came to the realization that what makes her most comfortable in all aspects of this hotwife scenario is the most important. I have adapted my expectations to fit a workable situation so that we both could get something out of it that we desire. I probably gave more than she did, but hey, she’s the one putting herself out there and I’m having my kink satisfied. So, it probably should have worked out that way.

Now, YOU have to decide what you real limits are. I believe the magic happens slightly outside of my comfort zone. I would never tell anyone else to do that, but restrictive hotwifing seems something of an oxymoron to me. If you truly WANT to have a hotwife, you need to let Her BE a hotwife in HER sense of the word. If you can’t handle that, you shouldn’t proceed at all.

The worst thing in nearly all walks of life are expectations…. So difficult to align expectations with reality.

[sandy9820]

Thanks for the reply, as I am not a good writer forgot to mention that we love each other very much and know that she will not leave me we had very good communication for 6 to 7 years with her but our communication stopped after I told her to stop talking to him, I am not jealous she can continue fucking him the only problem is he is from same locality, as am quite reputed in our city and have worked very hard for it I don't want that people are talking behind my back, I told her she can fuck anybody but he shouldn't be knowing us, but she wants only him

[realcucklife]

Do you want her to be happy?
Is that just your cuck angst making big statements?
Keep talking, it’s your adventure your having together, for both your enjoyment.
Be careful with rules, they can cause more grief than they are worth.
In no time you would be looking for someone closer, who can be discreet, he’s doing that now if he thing he’s part of an affair.
She should tell him that you have found out, and though not happy your supporting her, and she should also be clear she is not leaving you. This is helping to make it clear to him no ideas trying to lure her away.
The chopping and changing will cause more disappointment and resentment towards you, trying to turn on and off never works, especially with women that need to have an emotional connection prior to that intimacy.

[StillHoping]

Thanks for the reply, as I am not a good writer forgot to mention that we love each other very much and know that she will not leave me we had very good communication for 6 to 7 years with her but our communication stopped after I told her to stop talking to him, I am not jealous she can continue fucking him the only problem is he is from same locality, as am quite reputed in our city and have worked very hard for it I don't want that people are talking behind my back, I told her she can fuck anybody but he shouldn't be knowing us, but she wants only him

I understand your concern and it seems very reasonable to me. Are you ok with them traveling out of town for their dates? If not, I would have to question whether you are jealous or not.

[rascalnvixen]

sandy9820, I agree with most that have commented here that you need to have trust and open communications with her and her with you. I won't bother to re-hash what has been offered to you here but I do want to address a comment you made about being well known in your local area. I too have had that same circumstance and YES it is important!!! If you are to give her the freedom to see who she wishes to see then she too needs to have your concerns in mind as well. You need to be assured he will not be spreading the word all around town that he's fucking your wife. I'm sure your wife will be happy to tell him to keep his mouth shut about all of this and she will probably be willing to limit their public time in your local area. If he thinks she is cheating on you, there is a very good chance he will keep his liaison with her very quiet if he wants to stay in her good graces!!! Just my two cents on your situation.

Rascal

[jagman1957]

Ok. You can't control her. You can't make her not fuck him
You can make her sneak and lie.
You can trash the marriage and screw over the kids
You can tell her, our marriage is now open, I fuck girls too... But then she can trash the marriage and screw the kids


Or you can be cool and let it run it's course. If she wants to leave some day, tell her "it's going to be a very ugly divorce".... But tell her then .. not now ..

Good luck. Welcome to the crazy cuckold world.

[sandy9820]

Thanks for the reply, as I am not a good writer forgot to mention that we love each other very much and know that she will not leave me we had very good communication for 6 to 7 years with her but our communication stopped after I told her to stop talking to him, I am not jealous she can continue fucking him the only problem is he is from same locality, as am quite reputed in our city and have worked very hard for it I don't want that people are talking behind my back, I told her she can fuck anybody but he shouldn't be knowing us, but she wants only him

I understand your concern and it seems very reasonable to me. Are you ok with them traveling out of town for their dates? If not, I would have to question whether you are jealous or not.

Yes I suggested that for her 2nd date that she can go out of town leaving in morning and coming back next day Afternoon but she was not comfortable with it.

Her fb/bf is very matured person am quite sure he is not going to spread the affair.

And yes I want her to be happy

[Asterix42]

If she’s shitty because you have concerns, you need to address that.

[sandy9820]

I have shown her this thread we had very good and open conversation also she gave me the permission to post her pictures

[sandy9820]

Have posted my beautiful wife's pic in hotties section. She thinks she is not beautiful

[realcucklife]

She is a hottie alright

[sandy9820]

An update after going through all the suggestions in the forem and also received some pm I thought of going ahead for her date on valentines day I have not yet told her about it she will come to know when she will read it on this thread, as she regularly reads the replays. A small surprise from me

[realcucklife]

How did she take the news?

[Asterix42]

I could be wrong, but it sounds a bit like you’re pushing too hard, maybe not talking things through enough, and maybe focusing more on what you want than what she wants/ needs.
Please be careful.

[sandy9820]

How did she take the news?

She hugged and kiss me, immediately started to plan for the date.

[sandy9820]

Wife is getting ready for her 3rd date am helping her. Very much EXCITED

[sandy9820]

Just received the msg that he has picked her up, I am at home alone don't know what to do, just imagining what must be going on between them.

[realcucklife]

What did she have planned for the evening?
What are you doing to be ready for her return?

[sandy9820]

What did she have planned for the evening?
What are you doing to be ready for her return?

Long drive, dinner and drinks beach walk (right now they are doing it) then they will go to hotel room.
I will welcome her with deep kiss and flowers

My Beautiful Hotwifes pic viewtopic.php?f=9&t=65516