Her Plan to Dip Toe in Hotwife Water

[slenderfish]

Hello Hotwife-Husbands and friends -

To refresh, she leaves early on Wednesday and returns the following Tuesday, late.

Thanks for following our adventure.

[BallSpanking]

I vote for a sex marathon, Thursday to early Tue.
In a way, it is an indicator she is interested and is putting some effort into becoming a HW.

[KyGrappler80]

Can't wait to hear more about preparations, packing, conversations in advance of this trip. I do think having a light touch from your end will be wise. Too much push could backfire. For her, it's about being naughty, in this case, without you, I think.

[slenderfish]

Can't wait to hear more about preparations, packing, conversations in advance of this trip. I do think having a light touch from your end will be wise. Too much push could backfire. For her, it's about being naughty, in this case, without you, I think.

I tend to agree with your impressions. A couple of notes:

- There is some history that I'll start in this string today, that supports your observation

- She remains skittish about telling me details and talking about this; she does understand and agree that this is supposed to be "together" but at the same time I recognize it's really a mindfuck to grasp that she can plan to be with another man and not get hell from her husband for it

- She will be preparing today for the travel tomorrow; I'll share her process on the board via writing and photos as I am able

[slenderfish]

HISTORY AND BUILDUP

I'll be posting this in parts, as a bit of a welcome distraction from her travels, etc. (the front story). This is the back story.

She has known of my fantasies for six or seven years, initially poo-pooing the concept and chuckling, "it'll never happen" etc. Our banter has slowly changed over these years. But let's not get ahead of the story.

She is very beautiful and keeps in great shape. I was commuting to her city for business, and met her at a large workout club in 2001; she was teaching a couple of classes after work during the week (cardio mat class and stationary cycling class). She is somewhat driven by an internal process to stay lean and to take excess care of her looks.

I asked her out and we did go out a couple of times but after the first real date (dinner, drinks, walk, etc.) she mentioned moving to another city "tomorrow" and sorry but didn't know if it was germane until that point. Not missing an opportunity, I expressed doubt that she was telling the truth, and was rewarded with an offer of proof at her apartment. She proved 1) she was indeed moving and 2) that she has a sweet body and was wanting to be pursued despite the move. She let me sample the goodies, sufficient to catch my attention and a commitment to call her and arrange to visit in her new location if possible.

We dated long distance for several months (her new location landed her on the opposite coast), but I found out through some bizarre coincidence that her "move" was with her boyfriend to that city (though she counters that they soon were not getting along and though they shared a bed she was no longer "having sex" with him at that point). I still had entanglements with my recent-prior significant other, and kids from a first/young marriage, so I broke it off to take care of my stuff and because clearly she had (in my opinion) even more stuff to handle.

She in the interim got her own place, went through a boyfriend or three, established her career, and achieved more than enough cash flow for a good life with travel, shopping, clothes, handbags, shoes, etc. The time we were "off" was probably about three years. In my version of it, she grew up and became this compelling, lovely and accomplished woman.

After these years in between, and once I was fully clear, kids grown, etc. and because my mind could not let go of her, I re-established the dating and we quickly worked it out to be together. She moved to my coast and we lived together, and were married within two years. A beautiful destination wedding. A Barbie doll for a wife. With the Mattel upgrades including wit, verve, personality, and a wicked sense of humor. Everyone loves her.

I'll throw in here a note that I'm no schmuck. But this is not about me.

[kaskap79]

Good luck to both of you.

I know how special it is to say good bye to the wife, knowing that when you see her next time she might have had sex with another man.

First time is even more special.

It will be some very long hours before you see her again.

Enjoy the ride.

[KyGrappler80]

Hah, great start. She has just enough mystery to keep it interesting, it would seem, in addition to her obvious good looks!

[slenderfish]

Continuing the back story:

Moving back to the early hotwife elements, about four years after we were married (note we've been married 11 years now).

I started introducing soft porn and she seemed to like it, based on her body's response. But she sometimes expressed guilt or shame. The age-old struggle against society's norms.

Men are drawn to her, and she does like the attention, but in her mind she is not particularly sexy so that does not show itself in her walk and talk. Kind of like Nicole Kidman; beautiful to men and women alike but the sexy energy factor is lower, as compared to someone like Megan Fox. I hope this comparison is not inelegant.

I realized over some years that she (like many women) doesn't dress for men but rather for herself and the opinions of other women. A social matter. So when she gets attention from men, she shuts them down out of habit. Except when her inhibitions are reduced (usually wine).

In any case, I was never one to act jealous around other people and to control whom she speaks with, etc. We will often be out and she will spend hours as the center of a chat of guys at an upscale bar, while I'm across the room with my own social efforts. Always happy and never disrespectful to me, and we connect here and there during the evening and go home together. Not any kind of hotwife game, just our process. However, I purposely avoid any critical or jealous words, and push the opposite such as "you left those guys hanging" and "those guys were lucky and eating out of your hand" etc. She merely smiles and doesn't internalize it.

[BallSpanking]

Clearly she can hold her own when confronted with a group of men, and you are likely right, she can do this in part because she shuts down their sexual energy, so it takes no part in their interactions. But I wonder what would happen if it were only one guy that occupied her attention, plying her with wine, and pushing all of her buttons.

Maybe a little advance searching could happen say on AFF, and she could get an advance on what his physical attributes are, before she sees if there is chemistry. The guy should possess all the attributes that make your wife wet, even be a bit of a bad boy, if that gets her off. Naturally he would have an Alpha personality and endowment, and could break through your wife's defenses to inflame her libido.

[XYAlpha]

I do not know if you have shared any of your rules / agreements. Condoms make sense in this scenario for sure.

Nothing shows permission more than you putting a box or two of condoms in her suitcase. Different sizes.

For safety, she should only trust condoms she supplies.

Hopefully you have other safety measures in place for her.
Check in calls with you before and after, distress word, and other things that as a lurker you must have read.

For a first time, and without you there, your angst will be off the charts! Hopefully you know this and have read how some address the issues that will be coming at you like a runaway train!

Good luck!

XY

[slenderfish]

Clearly she can hold her own when confronted with a group of men, and you are likely right, she can do this in part because she shuts down their sexual energy, so it takes no part in their interactions. But I wonder what would happen if it were only one guy that occupied her attention, plying her with wine, and pushing all of her buttons.

Maybe a little advance searching could happen say on AFF, and she could get an advance on what his physical attributes are, before she sees if there is chemistry. The guy should possess all the attributes that make your wife wet, even be a bit of a bad boy, if that gets her off. Naturally he would have an Alpha personality and endowment, and could break through your wife's defenses to inflame her libido.

Hi again. Her plan this week is different, in that she knows this Mr. S (and I met him last year). She finds him attractive and already has committed to kissy face and whatever comes of it, but (of course) said she will not become an official Hotwife on this trip (promises, promises).

She knows that once they are face to face, he will agree to just about anything (such as keeping this on the down low, not caring that she's married, etc.).

So it's a layup. I'm hoping it also becomes a laydown.

[CarstonMathers]

So it's a layup. I'm hoping it also becomes a laydown.

So you're saying he has to take it to the hole.

[slenderfish]

So it's a layup. I'm hoping it also becomes a laydown.

So you're saying he has to take it to the hole.

Clever humor scores many points with her. It's one of the reasons she likes me.

Nice one!

[CarstonMathers]

Well, "layup-laydown" was certainly original. Definitely points.

To be honest, I'm slightly conflicted. Humor aside, while all these comments are well-meaning and well-intended, I do sometimes feel that the discussions can become a bit... objectifying towards the wives. While "take it to the hole" is meant to be funny, sometimes the conversations resemble reality show fans discussing reality TV contestants. I include myself in this obviously.

Your wife is no doubt a smart, wonderful goddess worthy of respect. My apologies if anything I say treats her like a Penthouse Forum character.

[linkbkw]

Love your story and your wife is gorgeous.

[wocka-wocka]

Perhaps you could help by having some pillow talk about the possibilities. Get her hot thinking about it and her knowing how hot you'll find it. Kind of priming the pump of fantasy land

Nothing like trying to help get another guy laid by your wife.

Good idea. If only to keep it fun and supportive.

[slenderfish]

We had the pillow talk. she is fully packed and I carried her luggage to our front door. I'll be dropping her at the airport a bit later this morning.

She indicated recent anxiety and that she even had an upset stomach about the unknown this week. I was empathetic and encouraging, and of course thanked her for it all.

She started talking about more specifics, clearly showing she has gone through it all in her mind:

- Happy she changed to the nicer hotel where she is comfortable and familiar (kind of like a home turf)

- Not sure if she'll be in a mindset to text or call me as often as I might like, in that she believes it's best if her frame of mind is on him and not as internally conflicted with her upbringing, societal expectations, etc if she is thinking about me and communicating a lot with me, which I understand and told her this first effort she should run as she deems best.

- She said Mr. S may not be circumcised, which is different for her, but that she has dated (fucked) such a man in the past and it was ultimately fine

- I again thanked her for even this banter, for even considering all this, and told her that I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve excited for the presents

- I told her I will be there for her if she needs reassurance via a phone call or other

- I reminded her that she is in control of all this, the setup, the man, the location, the physical elements and she should approach this with confidence that it's her deal

- She again asked about how it would work to see him again assuming all goes well and I assured her that when she gets back we will book the next trip in November to include my visit to her family but that she would go a few days earlier and/or stay a few days later

All the above are really showing an advancement in her thinking and expectations. I did encourage her to follow her body, her desires, that it's my ultimate pinnacle that she calls me and informs about having officially joined the Hotwife Club over the next few days. All based on whatever she feels is best for her.

I accomplished all the requests she had made in advance of this, kind of as conditions to show my commitment.

Seems we are all systems go at this point! Gonna run out before we leave for the airport and get a lovely card for her and also the condoms.

[KyGrappler80]

Nice. Magnum condoms?

[PlayboyFan]

We had the pillow talk. she is fully packed and I carried her luggage to our front door. I'll be dropping her at the airport a bit later this morning.

She indicated recent anxiety and that she even had an upset stomach about the unknown this week. I was empathetic and encouraging, and of course thanked her for it all.

She started talking about more specifics, clearly showing she has gone through it all in her mind:

- Happy she changed to the nicer hotel where she is comfortable and familiar (kind of like a home turf)

- Not sure if she'll be in a mindset to text or call me as often as I might like, in that she believes it's best if her frame of mind is on him and not as internally conflicted with her upbringing, societal expectations, etc if she is thinking about me and communicating a lot with me, which I understand and told her this first effort she should run as she deems best.

- She said Mr. S may not be circumcised, which is different for her, but that she has dated (fucked) such a man in the past and it was ultimately fine

- I again thanked her for even this banter, for even considering all this, and told her that I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve excited for the presents

- I told her I will be there for her if she needs reassurance via a phone call or other

- I reminded her that she is in control of all this, the setup, the man, the location, the physical elements and she should approach this with confidence that it's her deal

- She again asked about how it would work to see him again assuming all goes well and I assured her that when she gets back we will book the next trip in November to include my visit to her family but that she would go a few days earlier and/or stay a few days later

All the above are really showing an advancement in her thinking and expectations. I did encourage her to follow her body, her desires, that it's my ultimate pinnacle that she calls me and informs about having officially joined the Hotwife Club over the next few days. All based on whatever she feels is best for her.

I accomplished all the requests she had made in advance of this, kind of as conditions to show my commitment.

Seems we are all systems go at this point! Gonna run out before we leave for the airport and get a lovely card for her and also the condoms.

Congratulations on this amazing journey. Those of us “wannabes” are hanging on every word. I hope this next few days exceed both your expectations,

PBF

[slenderfish]

Foundation: Visits to her hometown

When we got back together after the long hiatus, she noted her once- or twice-yearly trips back to her hometown (where I'd first met her). She has family but doesn't prefer to stay with them, in that her mother is still with that creepy boyfriend and there is only a sofa for her at her sibling's house. As such, she prefers to stay at her friend's place, let's call him Mr. M1. She was open about this to me over the phone, and asked if I would be comfortable with it. I must say it was an unusual request, and perhaps early feelings of Hotwife titillation may have been there but with me unaware; however, I approached this with an attitude of honesty and trust. She was being honest and asking for trust. So I went with it.

Not too many years later, when we were visiting her family together during normal holidays, etc. I did meet Mr. M1 and he was, as she had noted, a bit socially awkward and clearly not a match for her. He was nice enough and I could see why he was open to her staying at his place; she is a goddess compared to him so how could he say no? A funny anecdote happened not long after I'd met him. We were on a subsequent visit to her hometown, and she went to meet him for coffee while I was back at our hotel doing some work. She called and told me that Mr. M1 had tickets to a professional sports event that night. I asked if she was calling to request changing our plans and to attend with him. She laughed and said it was the contrary, that he had asked if I would attend with him. So I did. It turns out he had started dating a woman who, when found out about his doting on my wife, subsequently put a stop to all of that. So Mr. M1 is permanently grounded.

[slenderfish]

First effort: Back to the Future.

One day about five years ago, we were at our favorite micro-brewery, a couple of beers in, and she noted that she'd lost touch with some of her guy friends/mentors from her home town. I asked for more and she mentioned two men, one a prior boyfriend and the other a prior affair friend.

I'd met the prior boyfriend (Mr. M1 from above), he was more of a friend that she crossed into boyfriend territory and quickly realized it was not going to work. He has no game and could never keep up with her.

I asked her to expound on the other, whom I will call Mr. M2. It turns out he was friends on the periphery with her older sister's group of friends, and married with a kid. One night she was out and feeling very single, and he was there with guy friends, they started dancing when music came on, and one thing led to another as they say and they started an affair. She remained in touch with him (of course on the down-low) and he helped her with her career strategy, issues, etc. for probably 10 years until we got serious and married. Not sure when the physical element ceased between them.

I encouraged her to get back in touch with him, and provided her the strategy to do so. Her birthday was coming up within a couple of days, and he used to always wish her a happy birthday via card or text or other. But not after our marriage. So I suggested she send a text to him with her expectation that he not miss her upcoming birthday. He responded and they started an ongoing text conversation. She was correct; he travels on business for a conference to our area each year, staying in a hotel about 25 min from where we live.

At my encouragement, she arranged to meet him for dinner. Not really as any hotwife activity, but rather to catch up with an old friend who was once also an old flame.

She got all dolled up to meet him for dinner and drinks, and went to the restaurant I'd suggested which was a short taxi ride from his hotel. The rez was for around 7:00 and she assured me she would be back by 10:00 latest. I told her it was open and she could come home whenever, I even offered that she might take off her wedding ring (which made her a bit cross and she rejected); my only request was that she send a text a) upon arrival, b) after a couple of hours, and c) when on her way home. She agreed and committed to do so.

She did text at the arrival and thanked me for the reservation and location. About two hours later she texted that they were getting the check and she would be home not long after. After another hour and not seeing her nor getting the third text that she was on her way, my angst wave came to a head and I decided to check it out. I drove to the restaurant and saw them through the window, smiling and talking and she was being extra attentive to him. Perfect!

After a short time, they got shooed out of the restaurant (it was closing) but instead of going for the car, they walked to a pub. As they crossed the street, he held her hand and she then swung up into his arms and she wrapped hers around his neck, and he literally carried her into the pub. I was tempted to continue watching them but decided perhaps she was more in tune with the hotwife concept than I'd expected, so not wanting to ruin anything, I zoomed home to wait. It was easily another hour or more and she finally came in around 2:00 a.m. exhausted and happy. I asked about her night, her not sending the later texts, etc. She said she was a bit later because they really had a lot to catch up on, and that she drove him back to his hotel because a taxi was not possible that late. I asked her if there was anything else she wanted to share, and she declined. She was tired but did not resist when I started making the moves for sex. I just had to know if there might be any evidence, and was super turned on having waited for her, etc. So we went at it pretty animalistic (or I was animalistic) and I pulled off her clothes, in my mind checking for any evidence of action and asked her a couple of times in the heat of the moment whether she had gone up to his hotel room. I repeated that it's okay and she can trust me with honesty. But she maintained no such development, and said that I was being inappropriate. Said she was surprised at this extra energy. Later when we were reflecting (a day or so later) she did not tell me about going to the pub nor that she had really enjoyed his presence and the physical contact. At that time it did come out that I had been concerned and did check on her, and saw them, and wished she had just been more forthcoming. I further observed that the logic of her summary did not work; there was a big gap of time because everyone knows the restaurant is closed by 11 p.m. She told me I shouldn't have checked on her, and she'd prefer that I hadn't. I countered that she had committed to send text messages and had failed that simple element. A learning experience. I reiterated to her that the only element I could get out of her going out with an ex- is the download of her experience and enjoyment.

That summer she was traveling to visit girlfriends back on the other coast where she used to live. She started acting quiet and I got the feeling something was up. I am in charge of our telephone service and paying the bills, and saw a bunch of texts to his telephone number. When she returned from the trip I asked her, and she said there was nothing. I reiterated that honesty and sharing are paramount. She stuck to her guns and I told her that I won't accept dishonesty and subversion in my marriage. She finally came clean; it turns out that she was transferring aircraft on a stopover of her return flight, in his city, and had texted Mr. M. if he could meet her at the airport for some in-person time.

The texts showed that her flight had been delayed and therefore not sufficient time for the visit, but the texts also promised she would be in his city later that summer for her usual week-long visit to her family, that she would be at the W hotel, and they could properly spend time together. His reply was that "you are worth the wait" and so on. She called the texts innocent but I didn't see it the same way. She said she would have told me about the visit to him later in the summer if it had come to fruition, and I said she should stop communicating with him if she felt the need to hide it, that it was clear evidence she (and we) not yet ready to be open and honest as the foundation for her seeing another guy, especially one with their history.

But I must point out that she, in her mind, never had any intention for it to return to physical with him. A learning experience. In the years since then, she has texted this Mr. M2 from time to time to get together for coffee or lunch, etc. when she is in his town, and told me about these, but it never happened. I found out recently that she did around that time tell him about my wanting to know more details of her times with him, more than she cared to share, and how it caused discord in our marriage. This of course put him off. My point on the matter is that he remains happily married with kids now in high school and college, and we both agree that he is certainly not telling his wife about any of the communications and meet-ups with my wife. I told my wife that I don't respect that element, and how I believe that has been the basic flaw in her relationship and subsequent friendship with him from the beginning, his dishonesty with his wife and my wife's ongoing assistance and contribution to it.

I also made a mental note to myself that she seems to at some level relish or desire to have this kind of illicit connection and attention, because she kept it alive with him for so many years. We have since become more open with each other and she does not hesitate to tell me when she has communication with him; she's tried to get together with him a few times since then but, as I noted above, even when there is an agreed plan he ultimately avoids it.

I also laid the above on my early observation of her situation when she moved from her hometown to the coast (opposite of my coast) and didn't tell me she was living with her boyfriend. She has the proven ability and experience to manage sexual relationships and hide them from others.

[BallSpanking]

Women can be incredibly discreet when it comes to divulging any infidelities. Many a husband swore they know their wives would never do such a thing, only to be confronted with facts of a longstanding and abiding affair, sometimes a secret life (though I think it is more often men than women). Still, the point is, you never really can fully know the love of your life, because it is impossible. She probably does not know herself the extent of passion she holds in reservoir, until the right experience, the right man, and the proper stimulation lead her to such a flowering. Just my opinion.

[slenderfish]

Okay, jump forward to current time for quick update.

Dropped SlenderWife at airport she confirmed made it to the lounge no issues. I handed her some pocket cash so she doesn't have to search out an ATM and also handed her a card I'd procured earlier this morning and written a message of love and support also for this new adventure and new chapter in our marriage. And slipped three magnum condoms in the card for "just in case" which she will see when she opens the card, which she will do in privacy.

And the adventure really begins now.

[kaskap79]

Oh this waiting time, not knowing if it will happen at all or if it does if it is good. Many of us has been there and i think we all love the feelings.

Hope she does not open the card on the plane and the condoms drops to floor between her and the person sitting next to her.

[slenderfish]

Oh this waiting time, not knowing if it will happen at all or if it does if it is good. Many of us has been there and i think we all love the feelings.

Hope she does not open the card on the plane and the condoms drops to floor between her and the person sitting next to her.

I also wondered about that and therefore slipped them behind the card and not inside the fold of the card, and also told her that the card was bulky so be careful.