Our Hotwives

My wife and I have been toying with the idea of her being a hotwife for over 10 years. Initially it was her idea to open the relationship but she said she'd be too jealous if I were with another woman so I suggested she could go out with guys and I won't stray.

It was only ever a fantasy for us. Three years ago she told me that she would never ever do it in real life. That changed recently when we were out for dinner. We had to share a table with a single man. My wife and him were chatting as if I didn't even exist. Every now and then he'd look at me as if he was a bit nervous. At the end of his meal he payed for our meal too. My wife chased him down and got his contact details.

Since that dinner my wife's sex drive has gone through the roof. Previously it was maybe 3-4 times per month (she had a lot of headaches!), but recently it's been twice a day or more. She gets so horny thinking about the new guy. Sex with me wasn't turning her on like when we were first married. She admitted that it excites her to try someone new.

The new guy hasn't messaged her. She think's he's worried about her being married. But this week she is arranging a dinner to repay him for the dinner he paid for. This time it'll just be the two of them while I stay at home with the kids.

My wife said she's just going to treat the dinner as "friends". I guess so she doesn't get too worked up if nothing further happens. But she's open to anything if it happens. I've given her the green light to do whatever she wants to.

How many first time hotwife encounters/dates end up with some type of sexual activity? Were you expecting it to?

My wife did, but she’d got to know him over a few months before their first date so she knew she liked him. However, when meeting someone new it is usually on the third date that she has sex with him as by then she’s decided whether she likes him enough as a potential long term boyfriend. I say usually because on rare occasions she has had sex with someone she has just met.

A few obviously don’t get as far as the third date.

We had talked for some time about her fucking another guy. There were a lot of things including fear and anxiety of being discovered and her fear that I just wanted to bang other women. Once we got by that she also had a lot of excitement about it. One day she decided today was it. We went to a bar and picked up a guy to join us for mfm sex. Neither of us had met him before. She figured he was hot and that was enough. She had decided she was going to get fucked and she did.

She said it she wouldn't do sex on the first date, but she did! As a matter of fact, a couple of her no-sex meet and greets turned into sex!

Mine doesn't 'date'. That term signifies a romantic emotional event or steps to such.

For her/us it's all about sex. So sex is essential on the first contact, if there is no sex there won't be a second contact. The moment it starts to feel like dating it's over.

The time she went out on a date wasn't the first time other guys had fucked her. The first man she went out with was a circumstance where each assumed it would result in sex for the reason he knew she was married and willing to "cheat" on her husband. It wasn't really cheating in that I had encouraged her to take him up on his request to go out with him. She told me about it beforehand and I knew she would might also stay overnight with him. We were already in this lifestyle, but she didn't tell him that. He was under the impression I was out of town on one of my many business trips. They decided to meet in a mall's parking lot and she left her car there, then went out to a movie, had a drink at a lounge and went to his place. I never got around to seeing just where he lived.

She was home around noon the next day and we had hot sex as she told me the details of their time together. It was understood between them that it wouldn't be repeated and he didn't ask again, although it was someone each of knew socially. We often ran into him at social gatherings after that and the conversation between him and me was friendly. My wife said that one instance though established a closer social bond between them throughout the time we knew him. I eventually accepted a job in another state and haven't heard from him since.

Update: The guy flaked on her. He wouldn't respond to messages or take her calls. It was a bit of a blow to her self esteem. She's still not a hotwife, but she's now thinking about using a dating app or similar.

She's also confided all the details with one of her female friends, including the fact that I'm okay with her dating other men. She was surprised how supportive and understanding her friend was. Her friend even encouraged her to go on the date, and thought I was amazing for letting her.

Too bad it did not work out. He was probably still nervous. I hope you geta second chance. Its great that her friend knows!

Her first turned out to be all talk. The next one she met was a pleasant, older guy, but while chatting, his dentures were flopping around in his mouth and that was an immediate deal breaker for her. However a couple of subsequent ones did result in play. Unfortunately both were emotional disasters for her.

The first play date said all the right, nice things, but when she was in his room (and she chose to go there without me, a dangerous situation as it turned out), he treated her like a whore (Refused to kiss her, wasn't concerned about her satisfaction , even accused her of being why he couldn't get it up). She walked out in tears.

The second one, once again, was charming, talkative, treated her very nicely. Once again, she chose to go alone. They had a nice dinner at a high class place, had drinks and he took her to his suite in the hotel. He also didn't seem skilled enough to get her to orgasm orally or with penetration (although he tried fingering her to one, but his poor technique only made her sore), and after a time he couldn't get it up either. So neither got off. She got out of bed to use the bathroom and when she came back, he was already dressed again, so she was crestfallen. She tried, a couple days later, to message him and was very diplomatic in her message, asking if there was something they could do to improve it for both on the next meeting, and received...crickets. She never heard form him again, even though we can see that he frequently is looking at her online profile.

So she is more than a bit disappointed in the whole HW idea. She and I wonder if these guys are single/solo because they lack skills to satisfy a woman or if they are just selfish. A second idea occurred to us that since we are in Vegas, maybe they think that all the single ladies are hookers and so the guys only care about themselves rather than the lady.

She is holding out hope that there is at least one that meets her standards and will commit to her pleasure as well as his own, but she has become a bit "Gun Shy". I think that she has recognized that I need to be there when she plays again, both for her safety as well as ensuring that someone in the room will get her train to the station if the new guy won't.

As a single male, I’ve have a few different experiences. My first meet didn’t go well. The second very well. She seemed pleased, the husband watched which was fine but a little awkward at first. I met her at the bar, then he came. We talked some more when upstairs and talked about limits and expectations. In their relationship they wanted no kissing, besides the mandatory protection.

Learning I’ve found talk about expectations and desires before getting into the act to avoid situations like you described. I think it’s all about finding the right person for your relationship wants.

As a single male, I’ve have a few different experiences. My first meet didn’t go well. The second very well. She seemed pleased, the husband watched which was fine but a little awkward at first. I met her at the bar, then he came. We talked some more when upstairs and talked about limits and expectations. In their relationship they wanted no kissing, besides the mandatory protection.

Learning I’ve found talk about expectations and desires before getting into the act to avoid situations like you described. I think it’s all about finding the right person for your relationship wants.

This was not a date but we met a guy at a sauna and agreed to meet him at a nude beach near by.She was super nervous but before to long she had is big 8'' cock in her mouth and made him cum on her tits twice i added my load in her mouth and face.Life changing afternoon.

wifeslave wrote:Update: The guy flaked on her. He wouldn't respond to messages or take her calls. It was a bit of a blow to her self esteem. She's still not a hotwife, but she's now thinking about using a dating app or similar.

She's also confided all the details with one of her female friends, including the fact that I'm okay with her dating other men. She was surprised how supportive and understanding her friend was. Her friend even encouraged her to go on the date, and thought I was amazing for letting her.

The flakes are hard, especially when she's excited. I think the amazing step here though was her willingness to open up about it with her friend. Bravo! We've often wondered what our friends outside the lifestyle would think. That took real courage!

2wheel wrote: ↑

Sun Dec 23, 2018 1:15 am

Mine doesn't 'date'. That term signifies a romantic emotional event or steps to such.

For her/us it's all about sex. So sex is essential on the first contact, if there is no sex there won't be a second contact. The moment it starts to feel like dating it's over.

As we know, there are few absolute on this forum.

With my wife it’s the direct opposite. My wife picks her own guys and there needs to be a connection if some kind before sex. She is interested in their mind and body.

Truth be told it wasn’t what “I had planned”. But that’s her. I’ve come to understand and accept it as the norm.

The result is that she’s fulfilled and so am I.

There are as many different arrangements as there are people in this lifestyle. None are wrong, none are right, if it works for those involved that what is important.

2wheel wrote: ↑

Sun Mar 10, 2019 4:00 am

There are as many different arrangements as there are people in this lifestyle. None are wrong, none are right, if it works for those involved that what is important.

...thankfully there is no one size fits all. If it fits both her (primarily) and him (almost equally), it’s a match made in heaven!

wifeslave wrote: ↑

Mon Jan 21, 2019 7:22 am

Update: The guy flaked on her. He wouldn't respond to messages or take her calls. It was a bit of a blow to her self esteem. She's still not a hotwife, but she's now thinking about using a dating app or similar.

She's also confided all the details with one of her female friends, including the fact that I'm okay with her dating other men. She was surprised how supportive and understanding her friend was. Her friend even encouraged her to go on the date, and thought I was amazing for letting her.

I just noticed this thread and wanted to make a suggestion. I have had good results using SLS (swing lifestyle). Of course with any website there are going to be flakes and fakes but I have found some great guys too!

Good luck on your journey together!

My wife hasn't really dated since we met. Most meets are with guys from swinging sites and I am involved/present. We will start in a bar so we can get to know each other as my wife must like both the guys appearance and personality if she is going to fuck him. If a guy becomes a long term fwb then she may fuck him solo and some have asked for date nights which will happen but not in our town for fear of being seen. When out with friends she has often been given a guys number or asked on a date but again because with friends always declines.

She has on a few occasions been chatted up and bought guys home to fuck, including an ex but there was no date involved. I have encouraged her to date other guys and it is likely to happen some time. If and when it happens it is odds on the first date will result in her fucking the guy.

Her first encounter was the first time she had sex yes

OpenCouple wrote: ↑

Wed Oct 20, 2021 1:07 am

Her first encounter was the first time she had sex yes

My wife was away on a business trip and was working with a male colleague. During their time together, she slept with him.

LongTermHubby wrote: ↑

Wed Oct 20, 2021 4:05 am

OpenCouple wrote: ↑

Wed Oct 20, 2021 1:07 am

Her first encounter was the first time she had sex yes

My wife was away on a business trip and was working with a male colleague. During their time together, she slept with him.

With your agreement?

OpenCouple wrote: ↑

Wed Oct 20, 2021 4:43 am

LongTermHubby wrote: ↑

Wed Oct 20, 2021 4:05 am

OpenCouple wrote: ↑

Wed Oct 20, 2021 1:07 am

Her first encounter was the first time she had sex yes

My wife was away on a business trip and was working with a male colleague. During their time together, she slept with him.

With your agreement?

Yes.