Our Hotwives

I have stumbled across a number of articles about hotwifing and cuckolding in more mainstream news sources as of late. It seems that this topic is gaining more interest from the public at large (or perhaps it is my questionable taste for certain liberal news sources ).

Anywho a lot of these articles featured interviews from the wives / girlfriends about whether they liked the lifestyle, what they got out of it, what the problems were etc. Getting to point, the number one drawback that many listed was that hotwifing eventually completely took over their love lives, and they ended up with some pretty serious relationship problems. At the most benign end of the spectrum, some claimed that when their extra-marital trysts were in a lull, so too was their sex life with their partners. At the more extreme end, some claimed that their partners were not even able to perform any more unless, as one woman phrased: "another man was involved with us". Instead of being overjoyed about their sexual freedom and potentially superior sexual experiences with other partners, these women were mostly distraught about what they didn't get at home, as they felt undesired and used.

This has been a real eye opener for me, and I would say it runs contrary to the conventional wisdom here. But not wanting to take such things at face value, I thought I would ask the good folks at OWH how it really is. So how important is hotwifing (or cuckolding) to you? I use the term to both represent physically and as part of fantasy / role play.

We first got into swinging, and then she began having MFM threesomes - I was present, sometimes I participated.

We kept swinging as well.

I selected the bottom two because we are in the in between period there. Plus, in stories like that, media outlets do have a tendency to 'slant' things to their views. I think the majority would be different. But it is telling of the need to keep the primary relationship strong.

Im glad you have presented this topic. A quality forum should go beyond the "CNN" breaking news of someones most recent fuck.

While we have enjoyed 18yrs of adventures, I do have to admit that the presence of a 2nd man has become the sole basis of my desire for my wife.
During this last year, there was only 1 week in which I desired her without thinking of her lovers, thinking of her being fucked by other men nor discussing other men. The week was when we took off on a family vacation. It was also a week in which she was completely mentally relaxed, low stress and was actually being flirty and seductive toward me! The other 51 weeks in the year, she is a normal uptight soccer mom and business owner. She does dress extremely sexy all year long to visit clients and she is an exhibitionist; she admits.

Our arrangement is that she fucks alone all the time. With some of them however, I get to see the foreplay and listen to the sex. When she is with one of the latter, I dont discuss lovers while we fuck. I think this is because I have felt involved and was privy to the encounter or the visit.

When it comes to a Long Term lover, whom she only fucks at his place or hotels, I do feel jealous and ask questions while we are having sex. This is what bothers her. I understand that is its OUR time to reconnect. But I also feel hurt and displaced. She says I have the feelings of a drama queen. After I orgasm, I do feel a bit stupid for having ruined our private moment by asking about the other guy. So far, I dont know how to reconcile both feelings. If I dont argue my point, then I feel she is enjoying her freedom with LT lover but taking the easy way out by not sharing details.

She has also changed a bit in terms of creampies. Why must I always desire to lick her only when I know there are semen remnants! She allowed me no problem for 15yrs. Now she comes home washed and humiliate me for my cuck feelings. I usually shrink away in embarrassment and once sex is over, go about my day. I feel like standing up to her one day and declaring that I am a proud cuck and she knew this when we married. I do not intend to change now. If she wants and alpha male, well there are many out there.... sorry for ranting. Please comment

My wife is a Hotwife, I'm a Hotwife husband. It is and has been a part of our sex life, love life, and life in general for several years. It is just a part of who we are, a part along with all of the other parts. Like most, our life has so many facets and this is just another facet, a hobby we enjoy.

I chose 2.
We have been in this a long time so most of what we do involves other men and some pretty kinky things as well. We have been playing so long my wife doesn't get aroused unless there are 2 oe more men present. I don't necessarily have to be one of them. She does have one on one sex but while she says it feels ok she doesn't cum.
We are both happy about where we are.

For us its a bit of fun to enhance our love life, it is part of our lifestyle, not our lifestyle. Ann has a boyfriend that she sees on average once or twice a month. but we ensure that it doesn't interfere with our "normal" life.

I'm guessing that if either the wife or husband needs the hotwifing to keep the marriage going then there is somethin seriously wrong with their marriage and that they should stop and sort out what they really want.

My Hotwife gets fucked almost everynight by her hubby.
She fucks other men about once or twice a month.
I think its just a matter of convenience. If we didn’t have kids still at home Im sure she would be fucking other men more often with my encouragement!
She still excites me just being her sexy self. She loves hard cock, mine or any handsome mans.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply and voting. I think at this point there is a clear consensus and it is about what I expected.

Our sex life is mostly in balance between hot wife encounters, and “vanilla” sex as a couple.

I haven’t done a real average lately, but we generally have two to three hot wife encounters in a given calendar month. Sometimes this goes up a little, sometimes down a little, but it is in the ballpark.

There is always a sexual, and sexy build up to these encounters, and a sexy wind-down after, which I suppose I would classify as “related sex” to our sharing experience.

Outside the ramp-up, encounter, ramp-down part of our sex life, we enjoy sex with just each other, intimate, unlimited, and uninhibited, including vanilla, and not-so-vanilla things like mutual masturbation, light BDSM play, and good “ol fashion” down and dirty fucking and sucking.

For us, the hot wife action balances out my wife’s needs for variety, stimulation, and the boredom of monogamy. For me, it is another way to experience pleasure with, and for her, and she is sort of like my favorite, hottest private little porn star.

Interesting poll !!

Hotwifing gives a woman the feelings of being wanted and the opportunity to submit to her deep down sexual desires. It is very exciting to her to flirt, date and play like a “teenager” again. She will feel more confident and a glow will surround her that is very obvious to Dominant males. Her dress and demeanor will get her the attention that she will begin to crave.

Cuckolding gives a man the feelings of submitting to his wife’s sexual desires by giving her the freedom to explore outside of their marriage. It excites him tremendously to see or imagine a man fucking his wife and satisfying her deep secret sexual urges that she normally would not unleash in her marriage. This creates a certain amount of humiliation, embarrassment and angst along with his heightened sexual arousal and brings him to submitting in various ways to this lifestyle. This can be occasional or very frequent and can easily become a constant craving for more.

So.. this can be a small part of a relationship or very easily become a major part of the relationship as you can see by the poll, but it is very important that the husband and wife maintain the same level of desires or conflicts arise. This is difficult because sexual arousal and desires can escalate quickly and change “on the run”. Some couples make rules to control this but that only works occasionally because one or the other will break the rules and that makes matters worse. So do your best as you enter this world to make sure you are both on the same page as you take this journey. As a bf I have enjoyed couples on all different levels and they all are exciting as long as they are on the same page.

Geez.. now I am giving a lecture.. sorry.

Brad

bradisalpha wrote:Interesting poll !!

Hotwifing gives a woman the feelings of being wanted and the opportunity to submit to her deep down sexual desires. It is very exciting to her to flirt, date and play like a “teenager” again. She will feel more confident and a glow will surround her that is very obvious to Dominant males. Her dress and demeanor will get her the attention that she will begin to crave.

Cuckolding gives a man the feelings of submitting to his wife’s sexual desires by giving her the freedom to explore outside of their marriage. It excites him tremendously to see or imagine a man fucking his wife and satisfying her deep secret sexual urges that she normally would not unleash in her marriage. This creates a certain amount of humiliation, embarrassment and angst along with his heightened sexual arousal and brings him to submitting in various ways to this lifestyle. This can be occasional or very frequent and can easily become a constant craving for more.

So.. this can be a small part of a relationship or very easily become a major part of the relationship as you can see by the poll, but it is very important that the husband and wife maintain the same level of desires or conflicts arise. This is difficult because sexual arousal and desires can escalate quickly and change “on the run”. Some couples make rules to control this but that only works occasionally because one or the other will break the rules and that makes matters worse. So do your best as you enter this world to make sure you are both on the same page as you take this journey. As a bf I have enjoyed couples on all different levels and they all are exciting as long as they are on the same page.

Geez.. now I am giving a lecture.. sorry.

Brad

I was just going to say: either it is time for you to write the book, or gain the status of Advisor to the Board! You brought up 2 points that I consider important:
1. "The feeling of being wanted"
After I answer "No" in reply to "Do I look fat darling?", my wife counters: "You find me beautiful and sexy because you love me. I want the truth!" Same exchange after we have fucked and she asks me if I enjoyed it. So indeed, a 2nd or 3rd opinion is reassuring and elevating to her. Especially when her current lover has had numerous dames in his life. Now, if we husbands play the game right, we are contributing toward her feeling of elation, self esteem and reassurance. If I corrupt the objective, by conditioning my desire for her as a function of her hotwifing, then I have effectively negated my pure want for her as a woman. This is dangerous because then it is the lover who wants her purely for whom she is..... Difficult scenario for those of us who get a rise out of asking her about the other cock while mine is inside...

2. "Maintain same level of desire" While there are intimate moments whereby she does not want to talk about her lovers, there are others when she starts the conversation herself. Naturally I always get the signals mixed up! When I want to know about her most recent encounter, she wants monogamous sex. When I have programmed myself for monogamous sex (I still fantasize she is a slut), she is ready to discuss the girth and thru-put of other engines...

If it wasn't for Hotwifing, I would have no helpful release what so ever.

calicolombia69,

Thanks for the compliment, but all I have to go on is what I see and my experience... no impressive endorsements or diplomas. So don’t put me too high on that pedestal !!

You are right with #1. A woman loves to feel wanted, and drawing attention is very exciting to her. When you say things like “wow, you look great today” .. or “I really like your outfit”.. or “nice shoes”, you will always get a big smile and happy vibes from her.

But #2. You will never figure out a woman !! LOL !!

Brad

I'd say there are 3 phases for us. I play with other men about once every 2 months. I'm free to check out other guys and my husband thinks it's hot when I point out a hot guy to him. But our life doesn't revolve around hotwifing. We have hot sex together, the majority of the time we make no mention of hotwifing. Sometimes, usually in the lead up to a night of hotwifing, we'll have some dirty talk about it during sex, and for a few days after. We mostly do it to spice things up. And it's great to not have to live a fake life pretending we don't look at other people.

Is very, very important. Now in our fourth decade of marriage, sex is still great with us, but nothing gets my dick harder than when she tells me she has "a story", which means that she has had a hookup with her LTL. There is emotion between them, and maybe even secrets , which I doubt, but they truly lust for each other. A new wrinkle that we've added is sometimes she leaves "the paddle" out for me to see, and she has gotten really good at whacking my butt while telling me what a naughty wife she has been. I do lust for her extramarital sex romps. A secret that she told me last week is that she sometimes rubs his cum all over her tits, so what have I been licking when she gets home ? Also, he is the only partner that she has ever swallowed ! But he only shoots a little due to some surgery he had years ago. She said she also will rub some cum on her lips before kissing him goodbye. It is so hot when she tells me that she can't resist him, and will give/do anything he wants. So she has best of both...usually 2-3 orgasms with him, soon afterward 2-3 with me.

I couldn't find the right question so answered the nearest I could. Our sex life is fine, but my wife has a lot of extramarital sex. Her partners have changed recently, and I'll get around to writing about that soon, probably early January. Many of you have read about our past three years.

Well, you never know. HWing is very important to my sex life. Yesterday, feeling horny, I gave my wife a signal and she also was in the mood. So, I layout a sexy outfit for her on our bed...stilettos (fantastic legs get even sexier ) , very short mini-skirt and tiny lacy bra. When I get out of the shower sitting on top of the pile is our paddle, which I asked her to leave out to signal when she had a "story", so I was sure that she was confused as I knew she didn't have a "story ".How wrong I was when she said oh yeah she had been a naughty wife. Happened last week which was a surprise as she usually tells me the same day so that I can taste the sex on her. She did have a good reason for not telling me sooner, which really made it hotter somehow as if she was "cheating". Anyway her tale was the usual....no romance...just stripped each other naked very quickly, much oral and great orgasms for both. I did get great paddling and she told me what a bad girl she was, and I got the great orgasm when she said that she can't say no to him and will always do whatever he wants. That's when I shot into her pussy like a teenager...I lust for her dirty sex.

eztoget44 wrote:Well, you never know. HWing is very important to my sex life. Yesterday, feeling horny, I gave my wife a signal and she also was in the mood. So, I layout a sexy outfit for her on our bed...stilettos (fantastic legs get even sexier ) , very short mini-skirt and tiny lacy bra. When I get out of the shower sitting on top of the pile is our paddle, which I asked her to leave out to signal when she had a "story", so I was sure that she was confused as I knew she didn't have a "story ".How wrong I was when she said oh yeah she had been a naughty wife. Happened last week which was a surprise as she usually tells me the same day so that I can taste the sex on her. She did have a good reason for not telling me sooner, which really made it hotter somehow as if she was "cheating". Anyway her tale was the usual....no romance...just stripped each other naked very quickly, much oral and great orgasms for both. I did get great paddling and she told me what a bad girl she was, and I got the great orgasm when she said that she can't say no to him and will always do whatever he wants. That's when I shot into her pussy like a teenager...I lust for her dirty sex.

Do you always discuss lovers while you are fucking her? I like that you call her late news, a positive form of Cheating. I have lately been complaining that I am getting stale news vs breaking news. Perhaps they too get slightly tired of having to report back to HQ instead of simply enjoying the sex and then enjoying the story telling when they feel they want to tell it.

We are not currently involved in hotwifing, just fantasizing right now. However before we were married she was dating another guy while we were dating. She would call me after he took her home and they were finished and I would go to her house and take my turn. I thought we would continue this after we were married but a baby came along and we haven't done it since. We still talk about it and fantasize every time we have sex, recently we became empty nesters and the talk about bringing someone else in is getting more serious, I think it's possible as soon as she finds the right guy she may play again.

I'm interested, wife isn't, but she indulges my fantasies on occasion.

She is on an occasional basis, she does have a profile on a site and sometimes she'll ask me to vett a guy that has her interest, but, she enjoys a few semi-regular guys who arbitrarily call or email her for availability of accommodation. She is particularly fond of the guys with strong personalities and active imaginations.

For us it's become our main dynamic in the sense that it is, at a minimum, fantasy material that gets us in the mood for sex with each other and pulls the extra feeling of lust into it that makes the release we get from our long term marital sex most satisfying. It's like having a taste for spicy food and rathering it always be spicy than bland. She doesn't always have to be actually dating someone else for us to enjoy that mindset. But when she's not, we are never outside feeling it as possibility of happening in the foreseeable future.

For us it's become our main dynamic in the sense that it is, at a minimum, fantasy material that gets us in the mood for sex with each other and pulls the extra feeling of lust into it that makes the release we get from our long term marital sex most satisfying. It's like having a taste for spicy food and rathering it always be spicy than bland. She doesn't always have to be actually dating someone else for us to enjoy that mindset. But when she's not, we are never outside feeling it as possibility of happening in the foreseeable future.

I voted for most sex is hotwifing.
We still have sex about once a week without hotwifing activities, which is also my typical amount with her when she isn't seeing someone, but while she is going out on dates with other guys, due to anticipation and reclamation, we have sex 2 or 3 additional times a week.