"Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

[Irwinhill]

cum4me,

You may be correct that some women enjoy the opportunity of putting aside the "good girl" persona and safely acting "like a slut." (I'd like to hear women commenting on this.)

But the question of power may be equally important. Traditionally, women have been seen as less powerful than men, even passive, which is not a word associated with hot wives.

My wife is powerful in many ways. She fits in the "A" type category. But the hotwife lifestyle gives her a chance to express her power also in the arena of sexuality and romance. It isn't that she dominates me, but that she takes control of events, takes control of her own life.

Observing her taking charge enchants me.

IH

[albanytruckingcpl]

To put this simply it gives us both something. I enjoy seeing my wife in her sexiest state and being able to enjoy the 100% visual aspect is great. For her she is a very sexual lady and enjoys sex. As much as she loves me she still loves the feel of other men. The important part is that we both know who we will be spending the rest of our time with and this is just sexual like masturbation. Not saying that there isn't an attraction between her and her partners but there is a difference in friends and lovers

[kinkboxer]

Because it is so taboo and so sexy! I love eating pussy creampies and when another guy fills her up, I lovingly eat her out! See my free yahoo group called CREAMPIECLEANUPS for my pix and ids and many other members who enjoy eating pussy creampies the most! Ciao!

[zorro]

I very much like cum4me's post, too. And the issue of control is very big in this lifestyle. The only minor -- in fact only semantic -- exception I would take would be with the idea that the woman becomes dominant by having a sexual lover. In the example you provide of a woman coming on as the sexual aggressor (and I love the fantasy as well as when it has happened), the woman is dominant and the guy sub. And it is very sexy for the guy to give up the role of having to always be the sexual controller. And very sexy to appreciate the woman's lust and willingness to go for what she lusts after. But when neither the woman nor the man dominates the other and tells them what to do, it is equality in the relationship. Too much equality might take out the sexual tension that so often turns couples on. But not being controlled by another is different from being in control.

The goal I long for in a relationship is to not control another or to be controlled. And this is freedom, not domination.

[chris35]

The fact of the matter is my wife when she fucking the other guy, it not because she loves or cares about him. She using the other guy like a sex toy, to give herself sexual pleasure, getting pleasure from seeing how turn on the other guy gets from fucking her. And seeing my wife enjoying herself sexually, not giving a dam about society rules, brings me pleasure also.

[sevenich]

But most of all, I encourage my wife having sex with others because it is fun.

And with that, I turn the podium over to others who may wish to add to my thoughts.[/quote]

=====

Hi there... I like the simplicity of your explanation. I am an Asian who was educated a bit in the United States. My wife is a hot petite Asian and while we have not gone full-blown in our MFM threesomes, she has done her share of sex with our male masseur, who has become a friend of mine in the process. She has gone as far as having herself fondled while we have sex... and in one instance, she came being vibed and rubbed by him... anyway, to answer the question of this post, my reply is - I would like my wife to experience pleasures she couldn't experience if she would just be having sex with me and me alone. I would like her to explore her sexuality and understand that I am selfless in allowing her to. She has been enjoying it so far. Let's see how it goes, if she will eventually agree to going all the way into it.

[Tittietwister]

We found this article very useful in rationalizing why we enjoy it. Made Deedee understood why I enjoy her doing it.

The Science of Cuckoldry and the Hotwife Lifestyle

http://www.hotwifenetwork.com/home.html

[hotwifeluvr]

It all started from the normal spousal characteristic of "being proud of what I had!" Can YOU think of a better way to reward a true friend?

That's exactly my thoughts about sharing my wife. I've always gotten off seeing them enjoy her womanly charms, or at least hearing about it when she got back, if I wasn't present. I think someone on here awhile back expressed it as when you have a hot nice car, you like to let your buddy take it around the block at least once.

Dead on balls accurate, to quote cousin Vinny. I had the extreme pleasure of shaing my first wife with a good friend. He was split up with his wife, and while he could have undoubtedly gone out and shagged some tail, it wouldn't have been as emotionally satisfying as having a woman you know well and have a friendship with provide you with the pleasures of a loving touch. Nothing like watching your devoted wife of several years, a big happy grin on her face as she is undressing in front of both you and your best friend, knowing that what she is doing is oh so naughty, but dripping with passion, eager to feel another man penetrate her while her happy husband watches.

[arivaca6]

I've always had this vague "feeling" about it since I was a kid. I watched my wife fuck another guy for the first time in a swinging situation about six years ago. It happened after I had already come in his wife. I got uncomfortable and left the room. I heard them fucking in the other room. She was making lots of noise. His dick was bigger than mine. Now days she's not really interested in doing that anymore mostly because of menopause but I still fantasize about watching her get fucked and participating. I'm 56 and it's what keeps me still interested in sex.

[Sexagenarian]

As I said on another thread, I'm an incredible voyeur.

I completely enjoy the thought of watching the love of my life giving and receiving the ultimate in pleasure.

I'm secure enough in our relationship that I'm not worried about losing her.

If I have any doubts, it would be around how she will fell about herself afterwards if she ever decides to proceed into the realms of of hotwifery.

[BT2]

Most men like pornography. They like to read or hear about sexual happenings, and to me, it is more exciting if the woman involved is someone you know. Men also like to watch well done pornography, and it is more exciting if the woman involved is someone you know. And who do you know better and who is closer to you than your own wife?

Of course, for it to really work you have to have a good marriage, and it is important that your wife is enjoying herself and wants to be a hotwife, and isn't doing it strictly for her husband's jollies. And best of all, if all goes right, it brings the husband and wife closer together physically, emotionally and sexually.

[lovebigdickinher]

Because she enjoys a big black cock(s) once in a while and since that's what she wants and it doesn't have any bearing on our relationship - why not?
I am 6x6 and her black lovers are never less than 9x6 or bigger the biggest was 11x7. They are always much younger than I and have a lot more stamina than I do and can get off many times in a 24 hour period, whereas for me it's once a day max. They are also able to reach areas that I never was able too.
She may be with another guy(s) for the nite but is is usually with me present in the other room and sometimes she does it in front of me if that is what I want.
She is careful to only pick guys who want to fuck her and not get into a relationship beyond the sex.
It usually only happens maybe once or maybe twice a week but never without my being in the loop about when, where and with whom.
It's just fun sex and there is never a desire on her part for more than that. She has a good life and in no way would want that to change just for sex, since I don't mind her getting that anyway.
We have been married since we were 18 and it started on our fifth anniversary in the Caribbean that was 27 years ago and we are still together with four grown children that are all mine.

[Jen32MWF]

I had this same question of my husband when he came to me with this idea, and I realized it was more than just "pillowtalk." As I've stated in another post, I thought we had issues with our marriage or that he wanted an excuse to sleep around on me, or that he had done so already and was going to use this to even up the score.

It came down to the fact it had always been a fantasy of his to have me date other men, as long as he could be a part of that arrangement in some fashion. It was about 5 years later that I finally broke down and agreed to it, and we met a guy at a club that I liked. I've been dating my current bf for about a year and a half now.

My husband is turned on if I'm out on a date, and our sex life is incredible the next week or so after I've been out. If my bf spends the night at our house, and sleeps in our bed, it is also a huge turn on for both of us. I'm turned on knowing he is so turned on, as well.

I will say that the guys on here should be prepared for their wives/girlfriends to possibly go in a direction they're not prepared for: my husband wasn't particular about his fantasies, so was a bit surprised to find me dating only black men, since I'd never voiced that desire previously. It allowed me the same freedom to open up...so it has been great for both of us.

I wish others were as open minded.

[mdcucked]

I had this same question of my husband when he came to me with this idea, and I realized it was more than just "pillowtalk." As I've stated in another post, I thought we had issues with our marriage or that he wanted an excuse to sleep around on me, or that he had done so already and was going to use this to even up the score.

It came down to the fact it had always been a fantasy of his to have me date other men, as long as he could be a part of that arrangement in some fashion. It was about 5 years later that I finally broke down and agreed to it, and we met a guy at a club that I liked. I've been dating my current bf for about a year and a half now.

My husband is turned on if I'm out on a date, and our sex life is incredible the next week or so after I've been out. If my bf spends the night at our house, and sleeps in our bed, it is also a huge turn on for both of us. I'm turned on knowing he is so turned on, as well.

I will say that the guys on here should be prepared for their wives/girlfriends to possibly go in a direction they're not prepared for: my husband wasn't particular about his fantasies, so was a bit surprised to find me dating only black men, since I'd never voiced that desire previously. It allowed me the same freedom to open up...so it has been great for both of us.

I wish others were as open minded.

Hi, Jen (nice to see another Washingtonian here)
I think you sum it up really well: a husband who encourages his wife to see other men shouldn't expect her to follow some script he's fantasized. In our case, my wife and I did start off with some basic ground rules, but even those have shifted and changed since she began sleeping with other guys with my support.
I'm wondering how this has impacted your marriage outside of improving your sex life with each other? Some might say it's ironic (though I think it makes total sense), but my wife and I really go out of our way now to let each other know how much we love each other. One thing I really enjoy hearing is when my wife tells me how she's never loved anyone the way she loves me and how lucky she feels to be married to me. She, of course, wants me to let her know that, too. A spouse who wants to hear that often may seem "a little needy" in traditional marriages, but marriages like ours aren't traditional and reassuring each other of our feelings for each other is very important.
How does it work for you guys?

[Jen32MWF]

Hi, Jen (nice to see another Washingtonian here)
I think you sum it up really well: a husband who encourages his wife to see other men shouldn't expect her to follow some script he's fantasized. In our case, my wife and I did start off with some basic ground rules, but even those have shifted and changed since she began sleeping with other guys with my support.
I'm wondering how this has impacted your marriage outside of improving your sex life with each other? Some might say it's ironic (though I think it makes total sense), but my wife and I really go out of our way now to let each other know how much we love each other. One thing I really enjoy hearing is when my wife tells me how she's never loved anyone the way she loves me and how lucky she feels to be married to me. She, of course, wants me to let her know that, too. A spouse who wants to hear that often may seem "a little needy" in traditional marriages, but marriages like ours aren't traditional and reassuring each other of our feelings for each other is very important.
How does it work for you guys?[/quote]

It works wonderfully for us, but we're very close emotionally, and in tune with what our sexual wants and needs are. If I've spent a weekend night at my bf's condo, when I come home it's almost like a honeymoon phase again, as my husband and I hug each other and are very caring towards each other. I guess we treasure each other more, which is odd considering what brought us to that place. If my bf has spent the night at our house, in our bed, then that turns us both on long after my bf has left, which in turn lends us to sneaking off for "naps" the next day!

I'm curious to hear what ground rules changed for you. While my preferences came as a surprise to my husband, it didn't alter the basic framework of what we had decided to do. of course, much of what we have done since has been on the fly, since questions over whether the bf would spend time during the day at our house (we have younger kids) had to be decided, what if he spent the night (what do we say in the morning), would I go out with him alone, would he spend time at our house while my husband is away on business, etc all came up after we started this, and then found the greatest guy that we both are very good friends with now and I've dated for a year and a half. We live in a fairly quiet subdivision, so some of our concerns (even though we feel people should mind their business, we still concern ourselves with what the neighbors think) center around the fact there is a large black man at our house whenever my husband isn't there, and often when he is there. No one has asked, but I'm sure they wonder! But we're too secure in our own feelings and standing int he community to change things, and we wouldn't anyways.

[blueduck1954]

I would have to say. To me. It is all about the sloppy seconds and creampies.

[blueduck1954]

Hey Einstein, it is a sticky...it never dies.

[roadrunner]

Nor should it ever die. It's only the #1 asked question in Hotwifeing! (Is there an official spelling for that word?)

[abhiandpreeti]

Nor should it ever die. It's only the #1 asked question in Hotwifeing! (Is there an official spelling for that word?)

I agree, this is one of the best resources on this topic of hotwifing on the entire internet as regards how the human mind works. Inigo, if you ever want to take this one off, please let us know and I'll download this entire thread.

[SuperSizeMe]

Im curious to know if any of you use large dildo's to please your wife since it appears size is the biggest turn on? Seems to me an alternative to the complications of the cuck/HW relationship. It works for me, atleast of now but I do have the fantasy of seeing or knowing my own wife got her brains bashed out by some super hung man...or else I wouldnt be here eh? I know there is nothig like the real thing but do HW's use dildos?

[mdcucked]

Im curious to know if any of you use large dildo's to please your wife since it appears size is the biggest turn on? Seems to me an alternative to the complications of the cuck/HW relationship. It works for me, atleast of now but I do have the fantasy of seeing or knowing my own wife got her brains bashed out by some super hung man...or else I wouldnt be here eh? I know there is nothig like the real thing but do HW's use dildos?

Compared to me, every dildo looks like a large dildo. That said, my wife and I do incorporate it into the times we have sex (we generally don't have intercourse and this is the only way she's ever been able to have vaginal orgasms with me).

Since my wife does sleep with other guys sometimes (I never watch) I enjoy seeing what her response is to a bigger guy with more control than I'll ever have (i.e., a man who give her the kind of fucking that I'm simply not capable of providing).

[captaincustard]

Interesting thread. Can I offer my comments:

1. You don’t own people, so alpha male doesn’t really apply. I own the $10 note in my wallet. Take it from me and I don’t have it anymore. Take it and I will kill you. MrsCustard is open to a good gallop anytime – its not a one off event. If some guy gives her a good stuffing does it harm me? Of course not. I still get my needs supplied. Her pussy isn’t an exhaustible commodity….

2. Jealousy is a weakness. If you are jealous of your wife having good sex, where does it end? Do you key they guy next doors jaguar? I am happy to see my wife happy. It’s a natural reaction. Being obsessively jealous is petty and a sign of weakness.

3. Alpha male is about attitudes, and these attitudes differ in each scenario. I have mixed among alphas most of my life, and consider myself to be one. Military, high risk sports, had sex with in excess of 500 women, fast cars and motorbikes, well paid management career. I have seen alphas in one area act like little girls in another. (I have a 9.25 inch Wilkinson to go with the ego)

I would be more worried about being worried that I wasn’t an alpha male than about some guy humping my girl.

you own your dignity, not another persons body....

(Having read that, please read my post about Helen to see where I went wrong and why)

[deleted_user]

Now Captain, that is funny as hell, "a 9.25 inch Wilkinson." I have never heard that one but I will be sure to use it if you don't mind.

Mine is a little less sword and a little more steak knife.

[MrsCustard]

its definitely confirmed, My husband 9.25inch wilkinson is the best and well managed. as well no one else can use it except me. so Mr. maitlandhwc, apologize for the disappointment..
But for proof my husband should post a photo.. will you baby...

[freeski16]

Why would a sane, rational man want his wife to fuck another man?

The above question is a commonly asked question to those who've just heard of this lifestyle. The uninitiated think the answers are simple. The husband is a latent homosexual. The husband doesn't love his wife and is hoping to "bait" her into a divorce by dumping her off on another man. Or maybe the husband wants to fuck other woman and this is the lever he will use to get his wife to allow that. These are the big three themes but in any event the primary assumption is that the husband is being anything but honest and merely using his wife's promiscuity as a deception-based tool for him to achieve some unstated goal that the wife would normally not be agreeable too.

The truth is that the above stated assumption is rarely the case. Is it sometimes? I've no doubt. If the internet tells us one thing it's that there are very few limits to the human experience. But again, those are the exceptions. The truth? Well, it's a bit more complicated than that....but is much less Machiavellian.

So what is the truth?

Well, the truth is that usually the husband really does want to see his wife fuck others. The truth is that the husband rarely has any significant interest in other women. As for that latent homosexuality thing? Eh, sometimes, but that's generally not a real motivator but rather a fringe benefit for those so inclined.

So what are the motivations? They are as varied as the people who enter into the lifestyle but there are common themes. Will I address these themes? Not directly. Rather than profess to speak for all what I endeavor to do here is express MY motivations (and they are both numerous and dependent upon my mood). Beyond that, I would invite other individuals in the lifestyle to present their observations and motivations with the thought that a more complete and meaningful consensus may be formed.

Why I encourage my wife to fuck other men... Sheesh! Typing that gives me flashbacks to 7th Grade English and assignments like "What I did on my summer vacation!" In any event, I'm going to give you, the reader, several thoughts of mine on this topic. My appologies if they are sometimes contradictory and/or not always organized. We're dealing with the human mind and emotions; contradictions and chaos go with the territory.

I like to see my wife fuck other men because I am voyeuristic in nature. The most common expression of my voyeuristic nature is watching porn. I like porn. Most guys do! But what's better than watching porn? Watching real life sex, of course. Why settle for crappy video with a terrible sound track if you can get real live people to have sex in front of you? Now what's even better than a live sex show? A live sex show with the most beautiful woman in the world, of course! And yes, I consider my wife the most beautiful woman in the world. Sure, I'm biased but it doesn't change the allure of watching that magnificent woman get off. What's that, you say? Why don't I just watch her while I have sex with her? It just doesn't work well for me. For starters, there are "camera angles" that a participant can never see. Too, the sensations running through my own body make it difficult (have you ever tried to watch and appreciate somebody else while YOU were having an orgasm?). OK, enough discussion of that angle.

It makes my wife feel beautiful/sexy. Let's face it, men, making your wife feel beautiful/sexy isn't easy after years of marriage. You may tell her that she's beautiful but does she really believe you? If you're me, you're biased and she knows it so hearing "you're beautiful" from me doesn't exactly convince her. What absolutely, positively convinces her that she's beautiful/sexy is some quasi-random guy pursuing her and fucking her brains out. Then she knows that other guys find her beautiful and sexy and that does great things for both her self esteem and her libido. Short version? She ends up feeling better about herself and I get laid a lot more. No losers there!

There are some things one guy simply can not do! I'm a considerate lover and I want my wife to have the most fun and the most powerful orgasms she can have. Most men do, right? But what if it turns out that what really gets her motor running is a guy eating her out while another guy sucks her nipples? One guy simply can not do that; anatomy forbid it (baring siamese twins!). If your wife is such a woman (and mine is), then the only way to really rock her world is to accept help from an outside source. Not every man is confident/comfortable doing so, but I am. Thus another guy allows me to give her sexual experiences that she could otherwise never have.

But most of all, I encourage my wife having sex with others because it is fun.




And with that, I turn the podium over to others who may wish to add to my thoughts.

I totally agree with the above gentlemans theory. He like myself truly wants to view his wife in a state of euphoria in a sexual climate. This not only enhances her pleasures but ours alike. But, as i have found out breaking thru that barrier to get her to agree is almost impossible in most cases, unless there is total trust, true openness and both enjoy the act of having sex in the same degree.