This was her idea...

[Nicouple]

For a long time my wife, after a few drinks or while we are fucking has talked about taking other lovers, both male and female, just for sex. I was never keen on the idea. Recently though I've had a change of heart and kinda like the idea or watching her with another man. We've talked about it and I can get behind the idea of it not being love its just sex. But... from what I've read on here it seems that this sort of thing usually comes from the mans fantasy, not the womans. Anybody else on here enter this world via the womans suggestion?

Anyway, we are going to build up to this someday.

I

[Mumfred]

Most of us in this forum would love to be in your situation.

[philxxo]

We for sure would love to hear how this developed. Since most of us here have wives and GF who refuse to do this. When they do, it's only after years of talking about it in most cases. Please tell us about you and your wife. How long married? What caused the change of heart for you? How many lovers has she had? Ever been involved in swinging? Why has she always talked about it? Are you going to get to have other women as well?

[hubudig2]

One of my many theories is that any wife/girlfriend that wants to, can turn her husband/boyfriend into a willing cuck.
I've helped several women to do so. It might take time/patience/persistence but I believe it's always possible.
I won't go into the methods or psychological mechanisms behind it but it's not a baseless theory lol.

I did a poll a while ago asking who's idea it was: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=71072
About 75% of the time, it's the man's idea.
Of those where it was the woman's idea, 44% just went ahead and cheated which lead to him allowing her to continue.

[superb101]

Has she mentioned you watching or being involved in any way? Has she said why she would like to try this?

[Nicouple]

We for sure would love to hear how this developed. Since most of us here have wives and GF who refuse to do this. When they do, it's only after years of talking about it in most cases. Please tell us about you and your wife. How long married? What caused the change of heart for you? How many lovers has she had? Ever been involved in swinging? Why has she always talked about it? Are you going to get to have other women as well?

How long married?
We've been together for 17 years.

What caused the change of heart for you?
Flat lining sex life mostly, plus my sex drive is not as high as it used to be, I've always enjoyed watching her on her own and I like watching porn, so I reckon I'll like watching her fucking. Her sex drive is still rather high. And when she told me she had been watching cuck porn it really turned me on.

How many lovers has she had?
Honestly I don't know.

Ever been involved in swinging?
No, but it's an option.

Why has she always talked about it?
It's a long time fantasy for her.

Are you going to get to have other women as well?
That's up to her, she can if she wants. If it's just her and a random lesbian pick up I'm not that interested. If it's another married woman and her husband is going to get to watch then I want in too.

[Nicouple]

Has she mentioned you watching or being involved in any way? Has she said why she would like to try this?

Yes, she wants me to watch first. The reason? It's a fantasy and she likes fucking.

[Nicouple]

One of my many theories is that any wife/girlfriend that wants to, can turn her husband/boyfriend into a willing cuck.
I've helped several women to do so. It might take time/patience/persistence but I believe it's always possible.
I won't go into the methods or psychological mechanisms behind it but it's not a baseless theory lol.

I did a poll a while ago asking who's idea it was: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=71072
About 75% of the time, it's the man's idea.
Of those where it was the woman's idea, 44% just went ahead and cheated which lead to him allowing her to continue.

I'm willing and into it. I've agreed to it but turning a fantasy into a reality is a whole different thing.

[athlete915]

[/quote]

I'm willing and into it. I've agreed to it but turning a fantasy into a reality is a whole different thing.
[/quote]

My anecdotal experience with couples is that, yes, they usually got started after the husband brought up the idea or they came to it mutually. I think the simple reason is that most women think their options are limited to monogamy, cheating, or divorce. The idea of being able to play with not only their husband's knowledge but also their support doesn't occur to them. Now that cuckolding has started to reach at least the periphery of the mainstream, that may be changing, and more women may realize that they have more options, which is a great thing... in my biased opinion.

Your wife's comfort in telling you about her desires speaks volumes about the quality of your relationship. I wrote a post about what I look for in couples, and one of the key items is a healthy relationship with good communication. Your wife obviously trusted you enough to share her feelings and desires with you. She was confident that even if you didn't share the desire, you wouldn't get upset. Sure, it took a little liquid courage to get there, but that's understandable and natural. You should both take comfort in the fact that you two have such good communication.

Now that you are starting to accept the idea, I would encourage you two to take the conversation out of the bedroom and discuss some of the practical aspects of what playing would mean in reality. This is far from exhaustive, but here are several things to discuss:

- What is she looking for in a partner? What traits would you like her partners to have? Think in terms of physical attributes, personality, previous experience with couples, etc.

- Do you two want a one-night stand, something steady, etc?

Does she want you to watch? Do you want to watch? If you are there, will you be an active participant or more of a spectator? If she has a steady partner, could they play alone occasionally?

- Where would she play? Home, hotels, their place?

- What are your rules on condoms?

- What are your red lines?

Tackling those practical questions can help you two progress from the fantasy stage to reality (or even discover that you don't want to progress). While taking the conversation out of the bedroom is a good way to focus it, those previously mentioned adult beverages can help loosen tongues.

In the end, do what works best for the two of you and feels "right." Each couple is unique, and what matters is what works for you two. Have fun, play safe.

[Nicouple]

That's some seriously good advice.

Thanks.

[athlete915]

That's some seriously good advice.

Thanks.

My pleasure! I hope it helps.

Before we met, one of my couples came up with a similar list of questions to discuss (they may have even found them in a similar forum). What they did, though, was take a couple of days to consider the questions on their own first. They were both runners, so between their runs and work commutes, they were able to consider the questions from their own perspectives. At the end of the week, they got a sitter and went out on a date. After dinner and a few drinks, they finally told each other what they had thought. Luckily, they agreed on the major points, and their differences were mild. They agreed that starting off, they would focus on where their desires overlapped the most and save the rest for later.

I always thought their approach was smart. I think you need at least some understanding of what you are looking for on an individual level before discussing it with your spouse. That way, you two can compare and contrast, and you can then tailor your exploration to your needs as a couple.

In that vein, I would be curious if you would mind sharing a bit about how you picture things going. Your arousal at the idea of sharing her sounds fairly new, so I can imagine that you are still trying to figure something out, but I am still interested in your initial impressions.

Oh, and one more thing: things can and will evolve with time and experience. At first, they tend to be more conservative, and exploration comes later as you become more comfortable with the experiences and one another. That's totally natural, so don't feel like you need to rush things along.

[Nicouple]

How I picture things going?

I really don't know! I know in my mind it's hot as hell, but the reality could be different so I'll take it as it comes.

I'll update with more info about things are progressing as they happen.

[athlete915]

Sounds great.

While I will caution cuckolds (and bulls) not to think too much with their dicks, I do think hard-ons are an excellent "barometer" of true feelings. While it is natural to have second thoughts and some conflicts concerning the lifestyle, those hard-ons will tell you at least what excites you. So, if thinking about her with others is now hot as hell for you, that is certainly telling you that you're no longer indifferent to the idea.

Good luck, and don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions or need some advice.

[lanceHarden25]

You lucky son-of-a-gun! All of us on hear would love if our wives wanted to have sex with other men.

Will she share stories of her and past lovers?
Will she share her fantasies with you?

[Pufferfish]

It's far less common for the wife to bring this fantasy up, but of course it happens. I would say the number of wives that fantasize about this FAR exceed men who fantasize about it. Which is precisely why most women don't bring it up or resist it when the husband brings it up. It's far more dangerous to the relationship for a wife to say "I fantasize about other men fucking me" than it is for a husband to say "I fantasize about other men fucking you." But I think most men on this site would have loved and preferred if their wife was the one who brought it up. That takes a remarkably comfortable and confident wife to do that. So if this is an exciting prospect for you as well, then enjoy the ride.

[dinoo]

Her idea???

Yes:
Once (late in our marriage) we were fucking and meanwhile she asked me if I ever imagined to fuck another woman while I was fucking her.
My honest answer was "NO" and I added I was more than satisfied with her.

Of course I asked her if she had this fantasy.
"Yes, she said, sometimes. So more than once."
On my question if it was one same person or different persons, she said some persons.
"Do I know them?" I wanted to know.
"Yes, you know these persons well."
Then I asked to tell me their names.
She: "That is my secret but if it will happen I will tell you with whom of course."

Not much later, on one holiday, she asked me if she would have sex with another man, what I wanted to see then.
Without hesitation I answered him cumming in and around her mouth.
"And you will tongue kiss me then?"
Me: "I will do everything you want me to do."
She: "Everything? That means without any exception, isn't it? Will you promise that?"
Me: "Yes, everything without any exception. I promise."

And I kept my promise.........