Low Libido girlfriend: My story and what can be done?

[SneakAPeak]

I've opened up to my girlfriend more and more over the years about my kinks and fantasies but over time it doesn't seem like anything seems to gain traction. She's told me before she doesn't have a high sex drive and we don't really talk much about sexual stuff unless I bring it up. While that's not the worst thing, it would be nice to know she's into it and I feel like I keep running into dead ends. With that said, we had an interesting situation about a year ago.

She received a message from an old fling of hers who wanted to reach out to her to mend ties and sorta chat again. As a man, I had a suspicion of his intentions but as someone who is interested in hotwifing/stag vixen or what have you I sorta stayed back to see what she'd say. As time went on she'd tell me little things but I never heard anything much about them flirting or anything that was even slightly intimate. So time passes and one night she sends me some nude pictures which is very out of character for her. In them she's also freshly shaved and I'm rock hard from these. When I see her again I definitely am quick to get her in bed and fuck her like a horny young man. Later on I ask about the guy and she says that they kinda stopped talking and it was whatever so I was like oh okay I hear you but something felt off about her.

One day, my phone was dead and she was in the shower so I had decided to use her phone to look up something (she's told me her password previously) and saw she had her notes app up as a previously used app. Curiosity had the better of me and when I opened it she had used it as a journal entry to talk about this guy and feelings she was having. It was there I discovered the pictures she sent me she took for him and that she was hoping that they would hook up but probably won't anymore as for whatever reason they stopped talking. She also mentions that she doesn't think I would mind if it happened once she told me but hasn't said anything to me at all. I was hurt and confronted her about it and she broke down and told me it was true and that it was a mistake.

After some talking over the days, we were all good again and I pointed out to her that if she let me know that they were flirting, that she was attracted to him, that she wanted to send nudes and essentially kept me in the loop I would have been okay with it. It was the secrecy that hurt especially considering how open I've been about what turns me on. I also did notice her libido was higher during those days but I didn't put 2 and 2 together; that it was because she was bf with the idea of seeing him again.

I'll usually use her past stories in bed with her for some dirty talk and she'll engage in it and tell me about certain guys she's been with but she's never been gung ho about telling about her sexual past. I know quite a bit but the information always just seems to trickle out.

So I suppose with all that said, I'm curious: If anyone else is with a woman who has a low sex drive but you still engage in parts of this lifestyle, what do you two do or what have you or her done to help increase her sex drive?

[Farmgirl]

Becoming a Hotwife supercharged my libido, and it has remained high!

[MartasBoy]

I've opened up to my girlfriend more ....... She's told me before she doesn't have a high sex drive and we don't really talk much about sexual stuff unless I bring it up.....

.....So I suppose with all that said, I'm curious: If anyone else is with a woman who has a low sex drive but you still engage in parts of this lifestyle, what do you two do or what have you or her done to help increase her sex drive?

Sex drive is purely a function of hormones. Hormone levels can vary greatly from person to person, and can be affected by all kinds of things, like stress, lack of sleep, and poor nutrition, aging, pregnancy, menopause, and depression.

Interest in sex can also be affected by past trauma. Women who were molested as children, or experienced sexual assault in high school, or in their twenties, often have an aversion to sex, or may have very conflicted feelings about sex. They may try to engage in sex with a trusted boyfriend or husband, to maintain the relationship, but the conflicted feelings may always be present, interfering with full enjoyment of sex.

And some people are just born with a naturally low libido, and they can take or leave sex.

[TheRealMrs]

Not sure how to introduce this to her, but reading erotica is always fun for me. There are a lot of apps that will let you read a few chapters per day for free. Check out Literotica. YouTube even has some audiobooks that she could listen to (earbuds!) while she’s working or driving. A fun thing that we have done is set apart a date night and hubby will read me a “bedtime story”…this is all assuming that she is on-board, of course. Reading or listening to stories can be more exciting because you use your own imagination. Just some fun stuff!

Longshot, but…if she takes an antidepressant, bupropion (Wellbutrin) can actually increase libido, where many antidepressants suppress libido/function.