New Partner Agreed to quickly?

[bham87uk2]

I have a new partner I met a month ago. We have got on so well in that little time. She is 21 years old, 5'4 and very petite. We are both Pakistani ethnicity but born in the UK. Sexually she has had 4 guys previously. Surprisingly not done much position wise which is surprising. She hasn't even had a finger in her ass.

She is such a sweet innocent girl.

So the last time we were having sex, the dirty talk from me got a little extreme. Whilst fucking her I was saying many things but at one point I said:-

Are you my personal whore? She said yes.

Then I said

How about if I wanted to make you a whore for someone else would you do it for me? She said I am not into that but I would do it if you wanted me to do it.

I said you would fuck someone else for me? She said yes.

I said you would fuck a black guy for me? She said yes.

I said even a white guy? She said yes. (Her preference in guys are pakistani, followed by mixed raced then black. She does not find white guys attractive.)

I asked if I left you in a whore house for the day to sell your body and fuck different guys for me, would you? She said for me she would do anything.

She also said in a threesome she would always pay more attention to me then the other guy.

As she is so giving and up for anything I feel strange like I no longer even want to do my fantasies with her. I Previously would have dreamed to have a girl like her. I just feel she can be too easily manipulated.

It was my dream to have a Pakistani girl like this I could share around with other guys. I feel she just wants to impress me and do anything to make me happy as she is so much into me. I think she is for real when she said these things.

What should I do?

[afagehi7]

Welcome to the forum. Be kind to her no matter what. Do damage her.

[Dontjudge]

My first wife was very quick to agree also. I put it on the back burner. 18 months later, I learned from her affair partner's wife she's cheating.

I learned in the discussion, that I was her ticket or of her parents house abs nothing more. Be wary my friends

[2inUPMichigan]

What should you do?

You should ask her when the two of you aren't having sex.
Seriously we all say things during sex that we might not want to be held to once the arousal has worn off.

Also most of her answers were a simple "yes". Do you have any idea if she knows what she was saying yes to in the heat of the moment?
An idea or mental image of something during sex may also be a huge turn on but actually living it may not.

Have an open and honest conversation. Tell her it was hot what the two of you talked about during sex and you were curious if she wanted that to happen for real.

You will never know until you ask.

[SilverStag]

Obviously, she only wants to please you. These are not her ideas, so, at some time in the future, you can bet the animosity will have built up over what she has done for you.

It would be very manipulative of you to take advantage of her. (that's a bad thing)

[BallSpanking]

It seems your pleasure is the only thing you are after, when her pleasure should be your focus.
By gently guiding her to new experiences you may get her to willingly try new things and probably learn to enjoy them. You cannot compel her enjoyment, you will have to seduce her and entice her, so she herself desires the same thing.
It seems this sweet girl's task is to develop your love, patience and generosity ... In the end, you may, possibly find she has grown into a self confident, sexually emancipated, beautiful woman ... And you into a more compassionate, understanding, and giving partner.

[bham87uk2]

So we were speaking on the phone a couple of weeks ago. And I casually asked her the questions.. How much do you love me and what would u do for me. The conversation was completely unrelated to sex. When she replied I told you that time I would suck a black cock whilst you are having sex with me.

[2inUPMichigan]

So we were speaking on the phone a couple of weeks ago. And I casually asked her the questions.. How much do you love me and what would u do for me. The conversation was completely unrelated to sex. When she replied I told you that time I would suck a black cock whilst you are having sex with me.

This post is a very different tone than the first post. There was nothing casual about your questions. You are baiting her it is manipulative and you are very aware that you are taking advantage of her nature.

I'm going to be perfectly blunt.
If a man said to me "how much do you love me and what would u do for me" and it wasn't a joke......he wouldn't be someone that I would feel emotionally safe with or that I would continue a relationship with.

No one, and I mean no one should ever have to PROVE that they love someone be doing something, anything for them.

Emotional manipulation is completely unacceptable.

[Logan]

Sound like an awesome GF who wants to make you happy. Don't F it up..

[WatchinginNJ]

So we were speaking on the phone a couple of weeks ago. And I casually asked her the questions.. How much do you love me and what would u do for me. The conversation was completely unrelated to sex. When she replied I told you that time I would suck a black cock whilst you are having sex with me.

This post is a very different tone than the first post. There was nothing casual about your questions. You are baiting her it is manipulative and you are very aware that you are taking advantage of her nature.

I'm going to be perfectly blunt.
If a man said to me "how much do you love me and what would u do for me" and it wasn't a joke......he wouldn't be someone that I would feel emotionally safe with or that I would continue a relationship with.

No one, and I mean no one should ever have to PROVE that they love someone be doing something, anything for them.

Emotional manipulation is completely unacceptable.

I think OP is having a very hard time discerning the difference between hot sex talk, fantasy and actual enthusiastic consent.

@bham87uk2 you are in the very early throws of a relationship, that is just bursting with new relationship energy. My ex-wife would say some of the dirtiest and crazy shit when we were in that stage, in spite being a very inexperienced person sexually. It was years after; kids, house, etc. when she finally said lets try swinging. There's a big difference from the sexual emotion generated from dirty talk, to the actual commitment that comes from engaging in ethical non-monogamy.

Dirty talk is not commitment.

[bham87uk2]

Very useful and interesting comments.

So I have found out a bit more about her before she said the previous comment. She has a collection of dildos. One with a suction attachment which she used to fuck in the shower. So she obviously is quite a sexual girl. Also remember she bought up the fact about sucking someone's cock second time it was not me.

After that comment in a much later conversation she also told me she used to watch porn. In the previous conversation however she did not elaborate about it and said it was basic porn. However last week she told me she once watched a woman with 5 guys and it turned her on. Then she was telling me she had created her own fantasy about 3 well known musical artists fucking her at once. She was telling me as if it was like her regular fantasy of hers.

[bham87uk2]

She just told me about more of her history...

Being only 21 she has now admitted to having sex with around 17 guys. And probably given another 10 guys head.

One story I have mixed emotions towards is she used to meet up with an Indian Sikh banker just in order to go to upscale restaurants. It is an extreme taboo for a pakistani muslim to sleep with a Sikh especially with this guy he had a turban and was only average looking. She met him once a month and on 5 occasions in total. She used to satisfy him sexually- and it looks as if in order to just go to high class establishments. She is unsure to whether she fucked first date or second. I wouldn't be surprised if she satisfied him first date which she did for many other guys she met.

She made it out to me that she stopped seeing him. However I have realised it was him that stopped seeing her. He probably got his use out of her and bored of fucking her. Although I know he is now trying to reconnect.

It turns me on knowing she satisfied an Indian Sikh. I get her to talk about it when she rides my cock. I kiss her lips and tell her I'm proud of her trying and satisfying an uncircumcised cock. I get more turned on now imagining her fucking a turban wearing Sikh than a black guy which was my previous top fantasy,

[Bsod83]

From the beginning it seems like she was a very innocent and easy to manipulate (just dont...) girl, but rhe last posts seems to indicate that this is a girl who is rather experienced and into this type of sex, despite her young age.

I think you have set things in motion, and she will probably bring this subject up again with you. Just wait

[Shiphead]

I have found and read that getting a woman to share her fantasies is one of the most difficult steps to overcome. We are making ourselves emotionally naked. That in turn then makes it very easy to use and hurt us in most cases.
I only had that experience once with my ex. So I definitely am no expert but reading the posts has reinforced my opinion.
The thing I noticed in your post is you have not said that you actually care about her feelings nor have you said that you have deep feeling for her. I think this lifestyle finds most men act in this lifestyle do to compersion. It sounds like you want to be swingers. If that is the case, please make sure she understands that is what she is to you. Don't hurt her unless she is into being submissive and wants that with you as her dom.

[Tire_Kicker]

She just told me about more of her history...

Being only 21 she has now admitted to having sex with around 17 guys. And probably given another 10 guys head.

One story I have mixed emotions towards is she used to meet up with an Indian Sikh banker just in order to go to upscale restaurants. It is an extreme taboo for a pakistani muslim to sleep with a Sikh especially with this guy he had a turban and was only average looking. She met him once a month and on 5 occasions in total. She used to satisfy him sexually- and it looks as if in order to just go to high class establishments. She is unsure to whether she fucked first date or second. I wouldn't be surprised if she satisfied him first date which she did for many other guys she met.

She made it out to me that she stopped seeing him. However I have realised it was him that stopped seeing her. He probably got his use out of her and bored of fucking her. Although I know he is now trying to reconnect.

It turns me on knowing she satisfied an Indian Sikh. I get her to talk about it when she rides my cock. I kiss her lips and tell her I'm proud of her trying and satisfying an uncircumcised cock. I get more turned on now imagining her fucking a turban wearing Sikh than a black guy which was my previous top fantasy,

Has there ben any further discussion or progress with moving the relationship forward?

[bham87uk2]

No not really. Everything is stagnant. She now wants marriage so is playing it conservative.

Another little story..

We were having dirty talk during sex. Where she ended up agreeing to be "my anal whore". She even said it a few times with her sexy voice. It turned me on. So I went and bought some beads and a plug to prepare her. Was not planning on fucking her in ass. Just experimenting with the toys. Her ass felt so tight to me. However she took the beads in and plug quite well in the end. She always told me she never had anal sex. Left the plug in for quite a while. Then we went for dinner without plug. Come back and started to ease ass with toys again. After taking plug out at one point her ass looked so inviting I just stuck my cock in. It was gaping. She didn't really enjoy it or anything. I told her to bear with me and she would get into it. I wouldn't say she enjoyed it definitely not at the start. However I am surprised how easy her ass took it. Fucked it for 2/3 mins without her complaining. Then she took a call fro her mom. I was shocked how it slid in and out with ease. I have fucked anal sluts before and her ass was not that far off theirs. I was annoyed after she got off the call and confronted her that she has done this before. She then said once her last boyfriend had put it in by mistake. Then few seconds later she said he fucked it for 5 mins once before. I was annoyed she lied. I like her stories don't know why lied to me about anal. I know she does not like it.

I then got the toys to open her ass again. I fucked her anally doggy on the side of the bed. Then fucked her doggy facing the mirror so I could see if there is any pain in her taking it. She was complaining more of pain this time around. I then got her to ride my cock on top off me in her ass. She did it will for a couple of mins. I slid in and out well but she was in pain. She then had enough.

Overall I am just surprised how easily it opened up and it slided in and out. After this she said it really hurrted her - she wishes not to try or talk about this experience again.

I feel I need to get her to open up and tell me her anal experiences previously as I am unsure she has only had 5 mins of penetration in there previously. I will tell her again I am proud of her sexual experiences so just tell me. I will tell her I am proud she gave her ass to other guys and I respect her for it. I already tell her I am proud of her for sucking all those cocks and swallowing their cum. She usually always swallows and tells me that was like her prize for sucking the guy. She said only one guy lasted more than 10 min with her blowing him.

[2inUPMichigan]

This entire thread makes me so sad!

You need to figure out exactly what you want and stop punishing her for having a life before you met.

Why would you continue something, anything if she was uncomfortable/in pain/didn't like it? Sex is about both of you, not just her going along with what you want.