Good or bad idea?

[JT91TML]

Hello! Wannabe here. Wife is aware that hotwifing is a huge fantasy of mine and we’ll role play in bed. I’ve never worked up the courage to ask her if she’d do it for real, but I talk enough about it that she should know that I’m very into the idea of a threesome with another guy. I also book her massages with men in particular because it turns me on. She goes and enjoys them, obviously. She’ll tease me about it after and then we fuck. It’s great.

Anyway, I met someone online who is a physical therapist but will do private massages at the house. He’s open to everything from a simple regular massage, to something more sensual, to playing if she is willing, and for me to play too.

How crazy of it is an idea to set up a massage and see if it goes anywhere? We had a masseuse come to our room on our honeymoon and I got to watch and it turned me on so much (didn’t realize I was into hotwifing then but should have been a sign!), and I’ve told her that. I feel like I could pitch it as something that would be fun for her and then turn us on so we could have great sex. And, maybe, if I’m lucky, it will turn into something more.

So, what say you? Good idea? Terrible idea? Something in between?

(Also, as an aside, safety is of course a big concern. I plan on meeting him in person for coffee or a beer beforehand. But, I’ve been very impressed with how above board he’s been and how important consent is to him so far. A few other ones I talked to went straight into talking about fucking my wife, which, while hot, didn’t give me the warm and fuzzies. Anything else I should be doing re: safety though?)

[BBCfan]

Hello! Wannabe here. Wife is aware that hotwifing is a huge fantasy of mine and we’ll role play in bed. I’ve never worked up the courage to ask her if she’d do it for real, but I talk enough about it that she should know that I’m very into the idea of a threesome with another guy. I also book her massages with men in particular because it turns me on. She goes and enjoys them, obviously. She’ll tease me about it after and then we fuck. It’s great.

Anyway, I met someone online who is a physical therapist but will do private massages at the house. He’s open to everything from a simple regular massage, to something more sensual, to playing if she is willing, and for me to play too.

How crazy of it is an idea to set up a massage and see if it goes anywhere? We had a masseuse come to our room on our honeymoon and I got to watch and it turned me on so much (didn’t realize I was into hotwifing then but should have been a sign!), and I’ve told her that. I feel like I could pitch it as something that would be fun for her and then turn us on so we could have great sex. And, maybe, if I’m lucky, it will turn into something more.

So, what say you? Good idea? Terrible idea? Something in between?

(Also, as an aside, safety is of course a big concern. I plan on meeting him in person for coffee or a beer beforehand. But, I’ve been very impressed with how above board he’s been and how important consent is to him so far. A few other ones I talked to went straight into talking about fucking my wife, which, while hot, didn’t give me the warm and fuzzies. Anything else I should be doing re: safety though?)

I would suggest getting her a regular normal no funny stuff massage with him 1st.

That after, test the water to see if she's attracted to him and from there perhaps You'll get a better idea whether to Maybe try to push the limits a bit if she is intrigued, otherwise it could go so horribly wrong.

[JT91TML]

Thanks bbcFan. I tend to agree. What I’m struggling with is whether to just play it like this guy is a regular masseuse or to tell her that he’s open to other things but understands this is just for regular massage. I’m worried she won’t agree to it if she knows, but it feels dishonest not to tell her. Horny and confused over here! Lol

[Bsod83]

If you cant communicate open about this, outside of the bedroom in an honest and open way, then i dont think you should not try to practice this IRL. So work on your courage.

The "middle" path is to say that you had a wierd sexdream, and check how she responds to the dream. If it is positive, then you can suggest trying it IRL, if it is a negative response you can always distance yourself from your strange "dream".

So start with talking to her is my advice.

[Juancarlos5901]

I think you are in the right track. But you have to be careful not to push to far to quick. The guy looks like a perfect fit because he is concern about concent. If she really likes the guy and checks the right boxes and makes the right moves on the message maybe the door will open maybe will not. A lot of effort yes but it's the ultimated goal and one of the hardest one in life I believe. To make a hot wife that is.

Wish you the best.

[2inUPMichigan]

Thanks bbcFan. I tend to agree. What I’m struggling with is whether to just play it like this guy is a regular masseuse or to tell her that he’s open to other things but understands this is just for regular massage. I’m worried she won’t agree to it if she knows, but it feels dishonest not to tell her. Horny and confused over here! Lol

Do not under any circumstances hide from her the fact that you have been talking to him about taking things farther than just a massage.

To set her up in a situation without the full knowledge of what is going on is not cool at all. Why are you making plans with some guy instead of with your wife? She is your partner in this not him.

Lying to your wife in hopes that your fantasy will take a step forward is not a good way to start out if you want open communication.

Ok, that was my .02 as a hotwife


As an admin, I must remind you that using deception to trick an unwilling or unknowing wife is not allowed here! Her consent is absolutely necessary!
When the kink becomes more important that allowing another person to decide what is best for themselves you have crossed a line.

[JT91TML]

Thanks bbcFan. I tend to agree. What I’m struggling with is whether to just play it like this guy is a regular masseuse or to tell her that he’s open to other things but understands this is just for regular massage. I’m worried she won’t agree to it if she knows, but it feels dishonest not to tell her. Horny and confused over here! Lol

Do not under any circumstances hide from her the fact that you have been talking to him about taking things farther than just a massage.

To set her up in a situation without the full knowledge of what is going on is not cool at all. Why are you making plans with some guy instead of with your wife? She is your partner in this not him.

Lying to your wife in hopes that your fantasy will take a step forward is not a good way to start out if you want open communication.

Ok, that was my .02 as a hotwife


As an admin, I must remind you that using deception to trick an unwilling or unknowing wife is not allowed here! Her consent is absolutely necessary!
When the kink becomes more important that allowing another person to decide what is best for themselves you have crossed a line.

You are absolutely right. I will talk to her. Thank you for the much needed moral slap in the face.

[Her number1]

Thanks bbcFan. I tend to agree. What I’m struggling with is whether to just play it like this guy is a regular masseuse or to tell her that he’s open to other things but understands this is just for regular massage. I’m worried she won’t agree to it if she knows, but it feels dishonest not to tell her. Horny and confused over here! Lol

Do not under any circumstances hide from her the fact that you have been talking to him about taking things farther than just a massage.

To set her up in a situation without the full knowledge of what is going on is not cool at all. Why are you making plans with some guy instead of with your wife? She is your partner in this not him.

Lying to your wife in hopes that your fantasy will take a step forward is not a good way to start out if you want open communication.

Ok, that was my .02 as a hotwife


As an admin, I must remind you that using deception to trick an unwilling or unknowing wife is not allowed here! Her consent is absolutely necessary!
When the kink becomes more important that allowing another person to decide what is best for themselves you have crossed a line.

You are absolutely right. I will talk to her. Thank you for the much needed moral slap in the face.

It's good to hear that you are listening to 2inUP. Besides her bright golden name, the other VHWs have bright blue names. A hotwife's opinion should always carry more weight .

[JT91TML]

Thanks bbcFan. I tend to agree. What I’m struggling with is whether to just play it like this guy is a regular masseuse or to tell her that he’s open to other things but understands this is just for regular massage. I’m worried she won’t agree to it if she knows, but it feels dishonest not to tell her. Horny and confused over here! Lol

Do not under any circumstances hide from her the fact that you have been talking to him about taking things farther than just a massage.

To set her up in a situation without the full knowledge of what is going on is not cool at all. Why are you making plans with some guy instead of with your wife? She is your partner in this not him.

Lying to your wife in hopes that your fantasy will take a step forward is not a good way to start out if you want open communication.

Ok, that was my .02 as a hotwife


As an admin, I must remind you that using deception to trick an unwilling or unknowing wife is not allowed here! Her consent is absolutely necessary!
When the kink becomes more important that allowing another person to decide what is best for themselves you have crossed a line.

You are absolutely right. I will talk to her. Thank you for the much needed moral slap in the face.

It's good to hear that you are listening to 2inUP. Besides her bright golden name, the other VHWs have bright blue names. A hotwife's opinion should always carry more weight .

It’s why I’m here. Honestly was thinking out loud with the wrong head before and that message truly brought me back. I love my wife more than anything and want this for her. She’s never been with anyone other than me and she deserves to have different experiences. She’s also aroused by the idea and I think she would like it. I will talk to her, but would welcome additional opinions about whether this is the right approach. Thanks all!

[Her number1]

It’s why I’m here. Honestly was thinking out loud with the wrong head before and that message truly brought me back. I love my wife more than anything and want this for her. She’s never been with anyone other than me and she deserves to have different experiences. She’s also aroused by the idea and I think she would like it. I will talk to her, but would welcome additional opinions about whether this is the right approach. Thanks all!

It's always better to be truthful and open about what you like and would like to see. Sharing one's feelings with one's spouse should be easy to do without fear of rejection by either.
If this is where your relationship is, then by all means talk to her, and more importantly, listen to her.
If this level of trust isn't quite there yet, then work on that first and build the needed foundation. Never try to manipulate her, or hide things from her.

[Freddy314]

Just a thought: So the masseur knows you are interested in your wife playing during this massage. What if you let your wife know you have scheduled a massage for her, and let her know that if she likes the guy, she can go as far as she likes. So the massage can be strictly therapeutic if she prefers, but if she wants to ramp it up a bit and flirt and tease with him, she has your blessing. Just let the masseur know he has to let her steer the ship, and it can only go as far as she is comfortable with.

[JT91TML]

Just a thought: So the masseur knows you are interested in your wife playing during this massage. What if you let your wife know you have scheduled a massage for her, and let her know that if she likes the guy, she can go as far as she likes. So the massage can be strictly therapeutic if she prefers, but if she wants to ramp it up a bit and flirt and tease with him, she has your blessing. Just let the masseur know he has to let her steer the ship, and it can only go as far as she is comfortable with.

Thanks for the thoughts! I may try this approach, but as others have pointed out, I also need to tell her that he is willing to play and that we’ve talked about it.

[PaNic]

You’re doing great, and it didn’t strike me you were really trying to trick your wife into anything.
If she’s already enjoyed you arranging massages for her, and teased you about them, this seems like the obvious next step. Give her an appointment with this guy and tell her straight that he’s offering a normal massage with an option to get erotic if she wants to, once she knows that it’s totally up to her then that’s a lovely gift!

[JT91TML]

You’re doing great, and it didn’t strike me you were really trying to trick your wife into anything.
If she’s already enjoyed you arranging massages for her, and teased you about them, this seems like the obvious next step. Give her an appointment with this guy and tell her straight that he’s offering a normal massage with an option to get erotic if she wants to, once she knows that it’s totally up to her then that’s a lovely gift!

Thanks for the encouraging words Panic!