Possible Progress

[Fastmouse]

Hi All,
I have been taking the slow and steady approach, which hasn’t really in my eyes been working however this weekend I had a bit of a development.
My wife is a bit of a prude, a little religious and a bit overweight but not huge. She is self conscious so needs a bit of reassurance from time to time.
Anyway recently I have purchased a couple of new toys namely sleeves, not particularly long but very Girthy. This she seems to enjoy however I find them hard work and don’t get any enjoyment from them other than to see how she reacts. This weekend I asked if she like the fullness and that she would be better trying a real one with my blessing, she has known my fantasy for years but never engaged. She said maybe and then told me she was attracted to younger guys and would need to be attracted to them.
For me this is real progress although I don’t know if a younger guy would ever approach her add the fact she likes to be filled up he would need to be hung.
Just my ramblings it may go further who knows, it’s the best start I’ve had in years.

[Fastmouse]

Interesting this weekend we went out for drinks and ended up people watching. She was noticing groups of young guys and commented on how they look etc. This lead to a talk about acceptable age difference (she started th chat) I said I couldn’t go with anyone young enough to be our child as it would be weird where as she said that didn’t bother her but maybe she would have a lower range of 25. She then went in to say she’s not into older guys so top end would be around 40.
Different chat driven by her, she must be thinking stuff. That night we had sex with a sleeve on and she was really into it not her normal self. All promising it will be a couple of weeks before we are out again so will update if any progress.

[Wickedwick]

Sounds like good progress so far. Hopefully things will continue the current momentum for you!

[D_Lited_HubWife]

Interesting this weekend we went out for drinks and ended up people watching. She was noticing groups of young guys and commented on how they look etc. This lead to a talk about acceptable age difference (she started th chat) I said I couldn’t go with anyone young enough to be our child as it would be weird where as she said that didn’t bother her but maybe she would have a lower range of 25. She then went in to say she’s not into older guys so top end would be around 40.
Different chat driven by her, she must be thinking stuff. That night we had sex with a sleeve on and she was really into it not her normal self. All promising it will be a couple of weeks before we are out again so will update if any progress.

This is definitely progress. She is rolling it over in her mind trying to make it work for her. You may have to make dinner concessions to make it a more comfortable and pleasing door to walk through. At this point I would say she's pretty much decided to do it, just working out logistics. But this is the most crucial time, you cannot be pushy, but need to keep taking things at her pace.

Exciting times ahead!

[SlimScott]

No question. This is real progress. The slow, steady approach is working. From what others have said many places in this forum, don't push.

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum SlimScott.

[Fastmouse]

Well the progress continues.
I tried a new approach this week, I made a sexy bucket list for her to fill in with what she would like and what she thought I would like. I left it on the bed and text her later when I was at work to fill it in and I have one that I will do the same with. This blew me away to be honest, I made mine all about her what I thought she would enjoy, remembering previously conversations and basically put that this is all I need to complete my list. She pretty much wrote the same the things I want are what she wants.
The conversation then went on that she didn’t think she could do one nighters and she may need to know someone a long time before doing anything, it would be handy if we had friends that could play. (We don’t have any as move around a bit). I jokingly said we may have to start attending swingers clubs to meet new friends……..she was like yeah let’s do it which completely threw me! She said she still wouldn’t but it may be a good start, I mentioned about an erotic massage…..she said mmmm I hadn’t thought of that, that might be fun.
Holy cow this is progress I can see things happening within the next months!

[Spencer1]

Congrats on the progress! Can’t wait to hear more progress.

[philxxo]

Dude, that is for sure progress! That is all a helluva lot better than "no way." Sounds like she wants to please you and you are taking the right track. Let her know you will do anything to please her and make her sexual fantasies come true. Let her know that your sexual fantasy is all about her getting pleasured. She will automatically do the same for you. Start dipping your toes into the swinger club scene. Keep us posted!

[Fastmouse]

Progress on hold.
Back to slow and steady.
Erotic massage booked and she was keen but a lot of excuses came out today about work and stress. Possibility cold feet but ive played it cool. Said it’s her choice ball is in her court and I love her very much, it’s not something for me it’s something totally for her to enjoy when she’s ready.

[Fastmouse]

Progress on hold.
Back to slow and steady.
Erotic massage booked and she was keen but a lot of excuses came out today about work and stress. Possibility cold feet but ive played it cool. Said it’s her choice ball is in her court and I love her very much, it’s not something for me it’s something totally for her to enjoy when she’s ready.

[zorro]

For what it's worth: our experience is that the best place to start with consensual non-monogamy activities is doing what appeals to the wife. You can start there and then feel out other possibilities as she gets used to doing what she thinks she would like.

The worst approach is to have her engage in activities from your fantasies, unless she is a strongly submissive woman. In that case, yielding to your wishes might turn her on more than the physical activity itself. Short of a submission trigger, best to do what she wants to try.

[Fastmouse]

Thing is the massage was her idea.

[philxxo]

I am curious about this "erotic massage" thing. I have never heard of it until this forum. I have seen it mentioned several times on various threads. Sounds marginally illegal in most places to me. Where does one go about finding something like that?

[Fastmouse]

I am curious about this "erotic massage" thing. I have never heard of it until this forum. I have seen it mentioned several times on various threads. Sounds marginally illegal in most places to me. Where does one go about finding something like that?

I guess the best way is to just say a happy ending massage. However there’s a bit more to it and it’s becoming more popular. Google Yoni massage.

[leggysman]

Sounds marginally illegal in most places to me

Probably get you the death penalty in Iran, and some US states.

Probably fully legal in much of Europe, and some US cities.

These things vary.

[philxxo]

Definitely not legal in Texas! LOL It's definitely illegal to touch, and even expose genitals here.

[rooster444]

Texas rapidly approaching 1955 in policies. The longing for 'the good old days' of Leave it to Beaver / Gun Smoke has the old white guys working overtime.

[aztd]

I bet she was really get in to it and scared her.
Enjoy the journey you are ready having a ton of fun

[BeNatural]

This was a lot of progress, from the details of your first post on this thread onward!

Regarding the cold feet and slowing down, I think you've done wonderful going with the flow. There's a number of things that might have given her pause. Some don't come to our minds (guys) as quick. Of course, there could have been last minute guilt, but something I think we also don't see is that they might have some fears about experiencing some form of rejection from the new guy. Also, "will it go as smooth as hoped for", etc.....

Going out in the night life was a really good decision. I heard an episode of a sex podcast recently on YouTube where the husband and wife opened up to hotwifing that way, going out on date nights and talking more and more about guys. His wife was a little bit of a flirt too, so that helped.

The podcast is The Strictly Anonymous Podcast, and I think the guest went by the fake name Sal, which is in the title.