Desire to be cuckolded stems from former lovers cheating?

[Tracescuck]

I think I’ve read here or there that a desire to be cuckolded by current spouse or girlfriend can come from being cheated on or mistreated in the past. If you came to this by way of that, did you discuss and open up to your significant other about the past experiences and all?
I don’t know fully where or when my desire for this all developed, but I believe it stems from my past. Other factors shaped or along the way I’m sure, but the cheating of a former girlfriend (not current wife) may lie at the heart of it along with maybe 2 other failed relationships. We have been married for over 26 years and some of my past, the painful part has been a closed book to the point of maybe cheating my wife out of the whole “me” in some regard due to being slightly guarded.I have always been a loving and giving husband, but I always joked with her that the romantic side of me was burned out by past experiences, but our newfound communication and openness has really rekindled the romantic spark in me and I now find myself vulnerable like I've not been in forever. Who better to be so to than the woman I love and know that she returns it in kind ten fold. Men don’t talk about pain right? That kind of pain? We bottle it and try to bury it. It wasn’t until we really started down this path and really communicating and being open and honest that I have come to realize this. I read a good blog “Confronting Trauma” on the Taboocouplenextdoor.com site that talked about this. And after reading I can’t help but feel like I need to talk to her about it before we can move forward. I think it answers some of my trigger points and probably her knowing the reason why certain things or situations set me off would be beneficial to our success. Baby steps indeed. I find myself trying to jump way ahead and then taking steps back. I realize asking for advice on a forum might not be ideal, but I figured I could get a few good responses maybe.

[Nothing2see]

Sometimes just typing out your question can be cathartic in and of itself. You can dive in and find your answer if you are really driven to do that, or you can decide you don't need justification for feeling what you feel.

I like sprinkles on my ice cream. Does it matter why? In my case I know the desire to see my wife enjoy other men is the result of the cumulative effect of multiple things in the past (both hers and mine) that led to me feeling this way, and I am OK with how I feel.

[Tracescuck]

Sometimes just typing out your question can be cathartic in and of itself. You can dive in and find your answer if you are really driven to do that, or you can decide you don't need justification for feeling what you feel.

I like sprinkles on my ice cream. Does it matter why? In my case I know the desire to see my wife enjoy other men is the result of the cumulative effect of multiple things in the past (both hers and mine) that led to me feeling this way, and I am OK with how I feel.

I think writing it out helped put some of my thoughts into perspective. I know what needs to be done. I appreciate the comment.

[MartasBoy]

I think I’ve read here or there that a desire to be cuckolded by current spouse or girlfriend can come from being cheated on or mistreated in the past. If you came to this by way of that, did you discuss and open up to your significant other about the past experiences and all?

It's different for me. I think in my case, it had to do with how often, in my teens and twenties, I was put in the friend zone by hot sexy girls. I would get to spend all of that "brother friend" time with them, until they would send me home because their boyfriend was coming over. Usually I would go home and masturbate, thinking about the time I had spent with her, and little bits of excitement, like being able to sniff underwear from her laundry hamper, or a pair of her shoes, when I'd go to the bathroom.

Sometimes when I would leave her house, I would sneak around to listen at her bedroom window, as she and her boyfriend had sex.

When I have had a woman grant me sex, it has usually been as a friends with benefits arrangement, on the side from their regular boyfriend.

I've had women who have told me that I was sweet like a puppy dog, and who have kept me as a Winter snuggle buddy. Sometimes they would grant me pity sex, usually a hand job, because they knew I didn't get it often.

I've had more pity hand jobs from other guys girlfriends, or listened to guys making love to their girlfriend outside the bedroom window, Than I have ever had sex with a girl. I think I became fixated on the act of listening to A girl I like, doing it with someone else, that this became the hottest sex for me.

One of the most exciting times for me, is when my wife has her boyfriend over and allows me to pick a pair of her soiled underpants from her laundry hamper, and play with myself in the guest room, sniffing her soiled underpants, while listening to them doing it in the master bedroom.

[Tracescuck]

I think I’ve read here or there that a desire to be cuckolded by current spouse or girlfriend can come from being cheated on or mistreated in the past. If you came to this by way of that, did you discuss and open up to your significant other about the past experiences and all?

It's different for me. I think in my case, it had to do with how often, in my teens and twenties, I was put in the friend zone by hot sexy girls. I would get to spend all of that "brother friend" time with them, until they would send me home because their boyfriend was coming over. Usually I would go home and masturbate, thinking about the time I had spent with her, and little bits of excitement, like being able to sniff underwear from her laundry hamper, or a pair of her shoes, when I'd go to the bathroom.

Sometimes when I would leave her house, I would sneak around to listen at her bedroom window, as she and her boyfriend had sex.

When I have had a woman grant me sex, it has usually been as a friends with benefits arrangement, on the side from their regular boyfriend.

I've had women who have told me that I was sweet like a puppy dog, and who have kept me as a Winter snuggle buddy. Sometimes they would grant me pity sex, usually a hand job, because they knew I didn't get it often.

I've had more pity hand jobs from other guys girlfriends, or listened to guys making love to their girlfriend outside the bedroom window, Than I have ever had sex with a girl. I think I became fixated on the act of listening to A girl I like, doing it with someone else, that this became the hottest sex for me.

One of the most exciting times for me, is when my wife has her boyfriend over and allows me to pick a pair of her soiled underpants from her laundry hamper, and play with myself in the guest room, sniffing her soiled underpants, while listening to them doing it in the master bedroom.

That friend zone indeed hurts. I’ve lived that as well from time to time when I wanted more, but it just wasn’t there.

[WatchinginNJ]

Dan Savage said half the people he met who liked to be spanked said they liked it "Because they were spanked as kids", the other half? "Because they weren't spanked"

Fundamentally I believe cuckolding is a form of masochism, and about control. Some people use it as a form of controlling past wrongs, like you said to eroticize cheating for example. Some people use it as a way to eroticize fears, "What's the worst thing that could happen to me sexually? Let me eroticize that!"

I also believe that hotwifing, and cuckolding are different, but just happen to be non-monogamy adjacent. I do not like the humiliation. From my perspective, hotwifing is more about voyeurism, than masochism. I've been cheated on, and with a little shame I'll also admit I've cheated. That's a feeling that brings nausea to me, and not any kind of thrill.

[Tracescuck]

Dan Savage said half the people he met who liked to be spanked said they liked it "Because they were spanked as kids", the other half? "Because they weren't spanked"

Fundamentally I believe cuckolding is a form of masochism, and about control. Some people use it as a form of controlling past wrongs, like you said to eroticize cheating for example. Some people use it as a way to eroticize fears, "What's the worst thing that could happen to me sexually? Let me eroticize that!"

I also believe that hotwifing, and cuckolding are different, but just happen to be non-monogamy adjacent. I do not like the humiliation. From my perspective, hotwifing is more about voyeurism, than masochism. I've been cheated on, and with a little shame I'll also admit I've cheated. That's a feeling that brings nausea to me, and not any kind of thrill.

Yeah the cheating when I was a teenager was a real gut punch, I found my girlfriend under a guy in his truck and ended up driving g her home so she wouldn’t get in trouble with her mom. Lot of pain in that relationship and I’m sure some of it shaped me in some way or another. I have no desire for that. I’m a little bit of wanting to be both hotwife style and park cuckold, not every aspect of the cuckold lifestyle turns me on.

[WatchinginNJ]

Dan Savage said half the people he met who liked to be spanked said they liked it "Because they were spanked as kids", the other half? "Because they weren't spanked"

Fundamentally I believe cuckolding is a form of masochism, and about control. Some people use it as a form of controlling past wrongs, like you said to eroticize cheating for example. Some people use it as a way to eroticize fears, "What's the worst thing that could happen to me sexually? Let me eroticize that!"

I also believe that hotwifing, and cuckolding are different, but just happen to be non-monogamy adjacent. I do not like the humiliation. From my perspective, hotwifing is more about voyeurism, than masochism. I've been cheated on, and with a little shame I'll also admit I've cheated. That's a feeling that brings nausea to me, and not any kind of thrill.

Yeah the cheating when I was a teenager was a real gut punch, I found my girlfriend under a guy in his truck and ended up driving g her home so she wouldn’t get in trouble with her mom. Lot of pain in that relationship and I’m sure some of it shaped me in some way or another. I have no desire for that. I’m a little bit of wanting to be both hotwife style and park cuckold, not every aspect of the cuckold lifestyle turns me on.

When my high School sweetheart stepped out on me, I was more angry that she did it behind my back. I was like, "Wait we could have just taken a break". I had divorced parents, and went to the other parents house 4 states away. I was more mad because I could have been having fun also. We ended up having an open relationship or as we put it, "we see other people". We both kind of stumbled on the fact that we liked it when she fucked other guys and then we fucked after.

[Letterhead]

I'm pretty sure my desire to see my wife take other guys has its roots in being cheated on by my fiancee (not my current wife) while I was in college and she was studying abroad for a year. We talked on the phone once a week. It was the 90s and she was studying in Asia while I was in college in the U.S. so it was very expensive. I spent all my time looking forward to, and all my money paying for, the weekly call.

Then one time out of the blue she told me she had full on sex with another guy in her program, and that I should be excited because now "I was free." I was so devastated I had to reschedule an exam and couldn't talk for about a week. My friends still remember it.

But I noticed at the time that mixed with the sadness was a lot of horniness at the thought of my girl taking another (and in my mind bigger) cock from another (and in my mind fitter) guy. I hated that it turned me on.

But now I seek out the same for my wife. It makes me worried that since the desire seems to have originally come from a dark place, maybe it isn't healthy for either of us. But it's definitely a thing.

[Shadnaster]

I think for me, it comes from that. I had a GF a long time ago that had cheated on me. I was hurt by it but oddly turned on by it at the same time. I didn't even know it was a "thing" at the time.

[Tracescuck]

I think for me, it comes from that. I had a GF a long time ago that had cheated on me. I was hurt by it but oddly turned on by it at the same time. I didn't even know it was a "thing" at the time.

Yeah that was a pretty tough situation for me. I had fell hard and looking back she did me every kind of wrong you can think of. Pretty much a pathological liar the whole time and I was to Naive and in love to see it. Always something, pitted me against the guy several times and he was much bigger and older than I. It could have turned really bad, but all things work out eventually. It was just all around bad. It truly shaped me. Same here as I didn’t know it was a thing and probably didn’t recognize it then. It over time I started seeing the cuckold memes and stuff and realized hey that turns me on. Something was awakened.

[Greg_N_Shelley]

Dan Savage said half the people he met who liked to be spanked said they liked it "Because they were spanked as kids", the other half? "Because they weren't spanked"

Fundamentally I believe cuckolding is a form of masochism, and about control. Some people use it as a form of controlling past wrongs, like you said to eroticize cheating for example. Some people use it as a way to eroticize fears, "What's the worst thing that could happen to me sexually? Let me eroticize that!"

I also believe that hotwifing, and cuckolding are different, but just happen to be non-monogamy adjacent. I do not like the humiliation. From my perspective, hotwifing is more about voyeurism, than masochism. I've been cheated on, and with a little shame I'll also admit I've cheated. That's a feeling that brings nausea to me, and not any kind of thrill.

Like yourself, humiliation is a major turn-off for me and I agree with several of your points. But I think the spectrum of dynamics are far more complex than characterized by your description. ‘Compersion,’ for instance, is a huge fuel for many of us in this lifestyle. For myself, one of my greatest joys is seeing Shelley at maximal heights of pleasure, regardless of who is doing the pleasuring. The sight of her in sexual ecstasy is beautiful in way that borders on mystical for me. And although I don’t get off on humiliation, I enjoy a subtle tease of submission when she plays with certain guys that we know and trust well.

The “breaking taboo” and “bad girl” dynamics are another example. Long before I met Shelley or even thought of sharing a girl, I was the ‘other guy’ in a number of relationships. Although I am not very proud of how destructive those relationships often were (a few were with married women), there was something extra hot about the illicit nature of it. Likewise, when I was a teen, I had a FWB relationship with a girl who was very proud of her status as the ‘queen of high school sluts.’ Something about her uninhibited and unapologetic sexuality was super sexy! The girl just oozed sex out her pores and never let a hard cock down. I still get a little hard thinking about the first time she invited me to have a threesome with her and her boyfriend.

It seems for many of us, there’s a lot of interrelated psychodynamics involved.

As for hardcore cuckoldry (humiliation and denial), I completely agree that it’s way more akin to BDSM than what most of us call “hotwifing.”

[WatchinginNJ]

Dan Savage said half the people he met who liked to be spanked said they liked it "Because they were spanked as kids", the other half? "Because they weren't spanked"

Fundamentally I believe cuckolding is a form of masochism, and about control. Some people use it as a form of controlling past wrongs, like you said to eroticize cheating for example. Some people use it as a way to eroticize fears, "What's the worst thing that could happen to me sexually? Let me eroticize that!"

I also believe that hotwifing, and cuckolding are different, but just happen to be non-monogamy adjacent. I do not like the humiliation. From my perspective, hotwifing is more about voyeurism, than masochism. I've been cheated on, and with a little shame I'll also admit I've cheated. That's a feeling that brings nausea to me, and not any kind of thrill.

Like yourself, humiliation is a major turn-off for me and I agree with several of your points. But I think the spectrum of dynamics are far more complex than characterized by your description. ‘Compersion,’ for instance, is a huge fuel for many of us in this lifestyle. For myself, one of my greatest joys is seeing Shelley at maximal heights of pleasure, regardless of who is doing the pleasuring. The sight of her in sexual ecstasy is beautiful in way that borders on mystical for me. And although I don’t get off on humiliation, I enjoy a subtle tease of submission when she plays with certain guys that we know and trust well.

The “breaking taboo” and “bad girl” dynamics are another example. Long before I met Shelley or even thought of sharing a girl, I was the ‘other guy’ in a number of relationships. Although I am not very proud of how destructive those relationships often were (a few were with married women), there was something extra hot about the illicit nature of it. Likewise, when I was a teen, I had a FWB relationship with a girl who was very proud of her status as the ‘queen of high school sluts.’ Something about her uninhibited and unapologetic sexuality was super sexy! The girl just oozed sex out her pores and never let a hard cock down. I still get a little hard thinking about the first time she invited me to have a threesome with her and her boyfriend.

It seems for many of us, there’s a lot of interrelated psychodynamics involved.

As for hardcore cuckoldry (humiliation and denial), I completely agree that it’s way more akin to BDSM than what most of us call “hotwifing.”

Of course there's going to be overlap, and I agree totally on the compersion bit.

Funny enough the girl I dated in high school that eventually opened up? I started dating her because she was besties with a girl who was pretty slutty. Imagine my disappointment when I found out she was rather inexperienced. That all changed of course.

Her friend was ahead of her time and really enjoyed casual sex. Her and her boyfriend and me and my girl ended up swapping a few times, and she was just really good and down for any fun. Ironically she's been with that dude since then (Like 1988) and have grand kids by now. I wonder if they kept up with all the fun activities?

[Pillow_Talk]

Supposedly your sexual preference (as in cuckolding or otherwise) is set in stone as early as 8 years old. At least that's what I read somewhere. As for me, I guess the lifestyle is a lot about control; my wife would be in charge to the point where she can do anything she likes, including fucking other men, and I just have to live with it. I remember fantasizing about a girl in high-school (long before I was aware of my cuckold/hotwife fetish), in my fantasy she was a queen of a foreign country, and I was a captured soldier with whom she had her way (naturally I had to eat her out all the time, and occasionally got rewarded). Funnily, there wasn't any other guys involved in the scenario. Make of it what you will...

[Stretch2517]

For me the cheating GF/Wife made me aware of the desire to be a cuck.

My first long time girl friend started dating another guy while I was away at school. She told me over the phone and it both upset me and turned me on at the same time. I wanted her back but at the same time having crazy fantasies on what they were doing.

Later in life my first wife and I were separated and headed for divorce. We had been a plain vanilla couple. After separation she would tell me about other guys to try to make me jealous. It would just turn me on but I never acted on it.

Even after divorce I had really not made the connection. Mid 30's and I still did not understand I wanted to be cuckolded.

Lots of therapy and other inward looking. From this, I made sure my next wife/GF was more sexually adventurous, very sexually experienced, and fun in the bed as this was my main issue with my first wife. Long story, but shortly after getting married to my second wife and I started going to swing clubs. Never any discussion about sharing and swinging/swing clubs prior to marriage. We just liked the idea as it was much more fun than a regular disco. We really had no expectations as to what would happen. We both loved the adventure. In the beginning, we would find a corner to hide to play but she would always attract a ton of guys watching as she was very attractive. We started picking one guy to join us privately to watch to avoid the crowd. After a few rounds with a private guy watching, she started giving them hand jobs while we fucked. She told me she just wanted to be sure they were "taken care of", and who could argue with that if they were there with us in the same room. Hand jobs became blow jobs. You know where the story goes.

Honestly we have never had a deep discussion about it. It just kind of evolved into happening. We will have light verbal banter. I will tell her she is a bad girl and she will say she is "good" at being a bad girl.

We no longer go to swing clubs. We have slowed down a bit. I have full responsibility to set up a date for her a few times a year. She will usually trigger me to set up a date by making a comment like "Have you found any new cock for me". I pick the guys and some are much younger, and some with a muscular build. She likes variety but quality. I have gotten pretty good at picking the guys as I know her type and her pictures will attract a lot of responses to choose from. I will usually meet with the guy ahead of time. When we go forward, I am always present and will watch them first and then join them. We have had a few regulars but mostly we tend to look for someone new for her each time. I think she likes it this way as there is no emotional attachment to anyone.

Now I actually now have zero worry about my wife cheating on me. Sometimes I fantasize about her finding someone totally on her own to play with...but so far she leaves it to me. I think her way of stay innocent in all this. She does it through me. She basically has everything she wants whenever she wants.

Why would she need to cheat on me?

So maybe I solved my concern from my earlier relationships and now have no worries she will cheat on me.

[SmallHubbyTexas]

It could be. My first girlfriend that I had sex with cheated on me and when I asked her why she told me, “you know when you are hard, you can see your cock through your pants? Well he doesn’t need to be hard.”

Now my wife has 3 boyfriends and I am caged.

[marriedman50]

Interesting that this seems to be a common feeling. It certainly applies in my case. With my first girlfriend I used to fantasize about her fucking her ex (a guy she had been in a long term relationship with, she was several years older than me so had more experience) and as it turned out she cheated on me with him on multiple occasions the first year we were together. At the time it devastated me but also made me horny to think about it, which I struggled with a lot. We eventually broke up for other reasons years later, and that fantasy didn't really do as much for me for the next few years. When I met my wife to be five years later though, it came back - we had a bit of a rocky start and took a break after being together only a year, and in that time she met a guy who she clearly found more attractive than me (she told me as much) and it took a long time for us to get back together, mainly because she had a hard time letting him go (though she never admitted as much I think they had great sex, though she wasn't really in love with him). Again, I felt really jealous though it wasn't as devastating as when I was a teenager, but at the same time weirdly exciting. Over the years, the fantasy of her having sex with him has grown more and more exciting and prominent in my mind, and I find myself fantasizing about them when we have sex sometimes. Although I'm still a wannabe my ultimate fantasy would be to watch her fuck another guy and watch her kiss him and cum from his cock; when we have sex she usually plays with a dildo to make herself cum so we're already at the stage where she doesn't need me for her satisfaction. A big part of the turn on is the knowledge that she is more physically attracted to another guy and has better sex and orgasms with her - I suppose it's a kind of masochism. I no longer feel conflicted about the fantasy though, probably because I'm confident that she wouldn't leave me for another guy just because she had better sex with him.

[vanquished005]

after i found out that my catholic wife was cheating on me, i started to watch cuckold porn and got hooked, and this all made me very bi-curious. i then started sharing wife pics and vids with guys on-line. when i found out how arousing it was to show my naked wife to another guy, i got further hooked and further bi-curious.

[MartasBoy]

I think I’ve read here or there that a desire to be cuckolded by current spouse or girlfriend can come from being cheated on or mistreated in the past.

That does not fit for me. I have not had much experience with being cheated on. For me, I think it comes from an expansion of the basic fantasy of the unattainable woman.

I don't have the kind of looks that have ever caused women to fall at my feet. I have had to work to get the women I dated, and the woman I married. I got put in the friend zone by a lot of women, in my youth. I was so excited to get to be in the presence of beautiful women, that I would happily accept my position in the friend zone. Some women figured out that they could flirt with me and get me to do just about anything for them.

I learned that I could bask in the presence of beautiful women, by doing chores and favors for them, and being their buddy or brother friend. A lot of my sex life involved spending Saturdays with some beautiful woman who was a buddy of mine, and being sent home when she went out with her boyfriend. I would go home and fantasize about her and masturbate thinking of her.

I developed a lot of fantasies in which I was made the house boy to some beautiful woman and I got to spend my time being around her, and being allowed to serve her and participate in all of the domestic aspects of her life, and everything, except touching her or having sex with her.

Some women liked to drink with me, and said that I was a good friend, easy to talk to, and made them laugh. I was friends with some women who liked to drink with me when their boyfriend wasn't available, and would invite me to stay the night for a sleepover, with me sleeping on the couch. My sister friends liked that I cook, and made them breakfast in the morning.

There was one woman who let me do all kinds of chores for her. After a while she let me do her laundry. Neither of us had machines at our apartments so I had to do her laundry at a laundromat. For a while I did it every Sunday when I did my laundry. I got the handle her underwear and bras, and I impressed her with what a good job I did, hanging up all of her nice blouses on hangers.

I lived for that moment when I would return to her, with her laundry neatly folded, and blouses on hangers, and she would give me a kiss on the cheek and tell me what a sweetheart I was to take such good care of her. One time, as I was pulling up to her apartment, her boyfriend was just leaving. She was in a nightgown and bathrobe with her hair a mess, clearly just finished having sex with her boyfriend. She said she had been taking a nap and was getting ready to take a shower. I found out that she was using my Sunday laundry night, to get me out of the way so she could have an afternoon booty call with her boyfriend. I felt so confused because this made me feel taken advantage of and a little humiliated, but it also turned me on and I would go home and masturbate fantasizing about it. The next Sunday I was back doing her laundry while she was with her boyfriend. Of course I sniffed some of her prettiest underpants, knowing that she had probably worn them with him, and this became a huge turn on for me.

One time I asked a girl at a bar, if she wanted to dance. She turned me down rudely, saying in a rather snotty voice, "No! I don't think so." As I walked away, she and her girlfriends laughed. It turned me on. That night I went home and fantasized that she called me back to the table and told me that, if I wanted to be around her, I could be her house boy and clean her bathroom and toilets for her, mow her lawn, clean her car, and scrub her kitchen floor. In the fantasy I happily accepted the deal. I developed the ability to get the most excited and aroused, by being in the presence of beautiful women I would never be allowed to touch, serving them, and fantasizing about them dominating me and mistreating me.

This became a huge fantasy for me, and I started asking girls out, who were way out of my league, just to enjoy the rejection. This was the case with my wife. I fully expected to be turned down when I asked her out but she surprised me and accepted. She had previously been with a few macho assholes who took her for granted and mistreated her. She liked that I was like a doting puppy dog toward her.

My wife has become the ultimate forbidden beauty. I live with her, and serve her, and when she denies me contact, to prepare for a date with another man, this is the ultimate forbidden woman.

[Parsifal]

This is a very common phenomenon - men libidinizing their fear of abandonment. One of the greatest of primal fears is a child's fear of abandonment by the child's mother. For some men, the wife can become a psychic substitute for the mother, and for such men the fear of wife abandonment becomes indistinguishable from fear of mother abandonment. If there is a bad prior breakup with a first wife or long-term girlfriend who runs to the arms of another man, the fear is exponentially greater, and the husband in such situations can become wracked with anxiety, possessiveness and jealousy over his current wife. These negative emotions can even undermine the marriage and make of his fear a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. His possessiveness will risk alienating her. The more mature approach is to flip the negative valances into positive ones by cathecting the fear of abandonment with the orgasmic contemplation of the wife’s place in the other man's arms as deeply pleasurable. Libidinizing fear is a strategy for conquering it. Rather than fear the inevitable separation of her coupling with another, he desires and is aroused by a recontexualized separation by which she restores for him an aura of mystery within the oneness they never lose.

[aleksander]

We are all on this forum to talk about hotwifing or cuckolding, but if you were to ask each of us what that was, we'd all have different answers. These terms are the closest we can all agree with regarding the idea of your significant other sleeping with other people.

My point is, we all came at it from different paths in life, and with different understandings of what we are doing and what we call them. So sure, I can believe that some people arrive here due to "former lovers cheating", but it doesn't apply to me and probably not to most.

I hate the terms hotwife and cuckold in fact, as they suggest binary choice only, much like those that say you're either gay or straight. Nothing is truly binary, and for my wife and I, there are other reasons I enjoy the idea of her taking other lovers, and for me these ideas are much more logical and not tied to the status quo of what people think these terms mean.

[isinlarsa]

after i found out that my catholic wife was cheating on me, i started to watch cuckold porn and got hooked, and this all made me very bi-curious. i then started sharing wife pics and vids with guys on-line. when i found out how arousing it was to show my naked wife to another guy, i got further hooked and further bi-curious.

You may have told the story elsewhere, but I am curious how your "bi-curious" has played out. Is it just a fantasy, or have you had some male-on-male contact, either during a threesome or alone with a man?

[vanquished005]

just a fantasy so far, but i am very interested in exploring my curiosity

[mfmfantasy50]

I have always been able to get into sexual relationships with women, but most ended with them cheating in one way or another. I find lots to be informative in this conversation, but the comment on fear of abandonment by a Mother was perhaps the most intriguing.

My current acceptance of a fantasy “Cuckold” lifestyle is I think a culmination of all my life experiences with all my women; regardless of whether I did or didn’t have sex with them…

Rock…

[Gmor]

I find the range of responses very interesting. I had assumed the responses would be somewhat consistent, however this isnt the case; for some it appears to have mattered a lot and others not at all.

For me, I think it has at the very least ‘informed’ how I now feel. In three of the most significant romantic relationships of my life (including my marriage) I have experienced ‘full’ infidelity or ‘very-near’ infidelity.

The one thing that I know has definitely driven my cuckolding fantasies involves sexual insufficiency or sexual dissatisfaction. In all these cases of infidelity there was a level of sexual insufficiency or frustration on behalf of my partners and for them wanting ‘more’. What this ultimately translated to was these women desiring and eventually seeking out partners who were very well endowed and were able to give them with orgasms during intercourse. Im smaller than average and in most situations in my life have struggled to be able to fully satisfy the woman I am with. In regard to my long term relationships in two cases I was never able to bring them to orgasm from intercourse and in the other scenario I was never able to after she began her affairs. In each case these women found (very well endowed) partners who were able to provide them orgasms (in the case of my wife it was going back to her ex-boyfriend a couple of times before we were married).

This aspect is always central to my cuckolding fantasy.