I'm confused with questions

[isinlarsa]

Thanks all.

I think if I'm honest with myself, after my and I first found about our daughter and her lifestyle I had the thought somewhere in the back of my head of "I wonder if my wife would ever be interested in that?"

But I think it was tied up with a lot of stuff and I felt weird about knowing we learned about all this through our daughter.


My wife has been talking to our daughter a lot more about everything than I had, and right around Thanksgiving my wife finally said something like "Sounds like it could be fun" or " she certainly has fun" or something like that and the floodgates just kind of opened.

Just a couple days after that she was on Tinder and Bumbl and just getting inundated with matches and it was all kind of funny and silly and exciting.


We've talked a lot about everything I think and just being open and communicative. We have some boundaries and rules we both agreed to. Right now I don't really have a ton of interest in dating anyone else myself, but that door is open to me in the future.

it sounds like your daughter converted your wife to her lifestyle. You say you wife has dated one man and is arranging a date with another. Does that mean she has already had sex with another man? How do you feel about it? After all your feelings count, too.

[confuseddad]

She has with one man she's seen a couple times now.

It's very strange.

It was exciting in the moment, knowing she was out. I didn't really feel any jealousy. More I guess curiosity. Wondering what they were doing, if anything was happening, etc

We had talked beforehand that when she got home she'd tell me what happened, but when she got she asked me again if I wanted to know. Just her asking I knew that something happened and took a minute to actually think about it and then we sat down and went over everything.

She said it was overall a good experience, she enjoyed herself but that it wasn't like mindblowing or crazy or anything like that. Said she was very nervous throughout, but enjoyed it.

[isinlarsa]

That's the way I felt -- no jealousy. I'm not sure I would use the word curiosity, but I definitely wanted to know what happened. When you talked with her before hand, did she say anything about your daughter's lifestyle that woke something inside her?

When my wife first told me she had gotten fucked by another man, it hit me like a ton of bricks, but I realized that it excited me. Did you feel any excitement?

Did your wife say this was a one-off, or is she going to continue to see other men?

[RetiredSnowbird]

I’m a bit late to the party but I hope I can add some relevant thoughts.


First, have you considered letting your daughter know about your extramarital activities? Seeing how she has been honest with you, then you should ideally be equally honest with her…and her husband. Mind you, some children would get grossed out at the thought of their parents ever doing such a thing. You could broach the topic with her by letting her know that since first hearing about her poly relationship(s), you’ve done some research, and that many parents of poly children are quite accepting of their behaviour…in fact some parents have admitted that they have become more open in their marriage as well. Upon hearing that, if your daughter seems grossed out hearing that some older parents are poly (or swingers or in a hot wife relationship) then you could then choose not to tell her that her mom is a Hotwife. If, however, you are able to reveal your true marital arrangement then I think this could open up a very good channel of communication between the four of you and that everyone could benefit from the honesty.

Now as for that previous boyfriend who was threatening to out her to others, is she still fucking him? I hope she knows the name and address of that slimeball. But if she is still seeing him then maybe you should arrange to meet him and tell him to his face that he had better not ever do anything like that to her…otherwise, you…her dad…will not be very happy at what he has done.

Anyway, that’s my take on things. Other people here have given you some very good advice. All the best to the four of you…whether it’s hotwifing, open marriage or poly.

[isinlarsa]

I’m a bit late to the party but I hope I can add some relevant thoughts.


First, have you considered letting your daughter know about your extramarital activities? Seeing how she has been honest with you, then you should ideally be equally honest with her…and her husband. Mind you, some children would get grossed out at the thought of their parents ever doing such a thing. You could broach the topic with her by letting her know that since first hearing about her poly relationship(s), you’ve done some research, and that many parents of poly children are quite accepting of their behaviour…in fact some parents have admitted that they have become more open in their marriage as well. Upon hearing that, if your daughter seems grossed out hearing that some older parents are poly (or swingers or in a hot wife relationship) then you could then choose not to tell her that her mom is a Hotwife. If, however, you are able to reveal your true marital arrangement then I think this could open up a very good channel of communication between the four of you and that everyone could benefit from the honesty.

Now as for that previous boyfriend who was threatening to out her to others, is she still fucking him? I hope she knows the name and address of that slimeball. But if she is still seeing him then maybe you should arrange to meet him and tell him to his face that he had better not ever do anything like that to her…otherwise, you…her dad…will not be very happy at what he has done.

Anyway, that’s my take on things. Other people here have given you some very good advice. All the best to the four of you…whether it’s hotwifing, open marriage or poly.

Considering that his wife talked with their daughter before deciding to take the plunge, I think it's very likely the two women are sharing their experiences.

[Blackjack4724]

Sounds like your wife wanted to dip her toes into the hotwife pool

[confuseddad]

Overall our daughter is aware. My wife talks to her a lot and I know they've been filling each other in. For my part, I'm mostly pretty uncomfortable talking to her about this, so while we've talked a little, we certainly haven't discussed anything nearly as much as she does with my wife. Which is more than fine by me.

Maybe we'll get to that point someday, but right now I'm content to not know too many details about her and her husbands activities if you will. I know she's still with her boyfriend, we've met him lots of times now. I know she still dates other men too. But that's really about it. She knows her mom has been out with a couple different men. Beyond that, I don't know.

[iluvmyhw]

wow a hot family love the updates very hot fun i guess in your case its like daughter like mother