Meeting a new candidate today

[SilverStag]

We have been staying in and quiet lately due to family matters and a few bouts with medical issues. Our last adventure was when my HW, Cecil, was my photo assistant when I took some boudoir pics of our single girlfriend for her use on her swinger profile. We spent 3 hours taking pics from fully dressed to completely nude shots and I was really too engrossed in the technical aspects of the session to get too worked up during the shoot (although, the mutually agreed upon plan was for the girlfriend and I to stay at the hotel room we were using as a studio afterwards, and for she and I to have some playtime after Cecil left for home). So, I got to have some fun, but Cecil went home and watched TV. So, I owe Cecil one for that consideration (plus I want to make sure she is happy because the woman I photographed and another lady friend are both making hints they want another tryst with me (separately...although the two of them together would be a nice adventure too, lol), and Cecil holds that permission)

It has been several months since Cecil has had a HW date (her go to guy is on the road and the calendars are not meshing lately- she last took him to his first swinger party and ended up giving him a blow job in one of the bedrooms while he kept saying "I can't believe this is really happening!" over and over)), so when we got a message on a swinger site (we mention in our profile that we each have hall passes) this week from a guy that caught her eye (she still gets dozens of "hits" each week, but has been ignoring them for the most part). He was witty and self-deprecating in his profile and contact message as well as having several great "reviews" from prior playmates. He looked nice to her eyes, and while not a local, he visits our city frequently for work and vacations (meaning no strings or unwanted contacts).

We explained to him that she isn't playing on the first date (as it also says in our profile), but that we would be happy to meet him for a drink to chat and see how they match up. Actually, we planned the day of the date so that if she is smitten by him, he will still be here for a follow-up date the next day. So, our meet up is this evening. I know she is feeling the urge because she is outside sunning nude now, so she will present him with a nice all over tan should she decide he warrants a playdate. The fact that she is going to that trouble on a 111 degree day tells me she is up for the game.

I'll keep you posted

[sj hopeful guy]

Thanks for the update, hopefully everything goes well

[SilverStag]

He was 20 minutes late (although he did notify us he was running late, so we waited). He was funny, intelligent and witty, but was obviously "trying too hard" to impress her/us.

While we enjoyed our conversation and sharing stories of the LS, in the end (privately) Cecil said he didn't appeal to her physically. I have noticed lately that she is showing a propensity for guys with a little meat on their bones (not on their boner, lol).

I asked her if that meant she wanted me to send him the "Sorry, Charlie" message, but she said let's wait to see how he handles it. I take that to mean she may still be willing to see him again, but is keeping her options open.

In either case, at least she is showing an interest in playing again...

[SilverStag]

....oh, almost forgot...
During our chat he made mention about one of her pics on her profile, so I took the opportunity to ask him which one, showing him a few of her pics that I knew showed more than he had seen on her posted pics...It was fun watching his eyes practically bulge out of his head as he saw Cecil more intimately that he has in the past. The great part was Cecil was sitting next to him as he viewed her pics and she was smirking as he had his hand between her legs while salivating at her naked photos. The fact that Cecil didn't object to me showing him her nude pics nor his exploring hands was, again, encouraging.

[Long Lurker 34]

He was 20 minutes late (although he did notify us he was running late, so we waited). He was funny, intelligent and witty, but was obviously "trying too hard" to impress her/us.

While we enjoyed our conversation and sharing stories of the LS, in the end (privately) Cecil said he didn't appeal to her physically. I have noticed lately that she is showing a propensity for guys with a little meat on their bones (not on their boner, lol).

I asked her if that meant she wanted me to send him the "Sorry, Charlie" message, but she said let's wait to see how he handles it. I take that to mean she may still be willing to see him again, but is keeping her options open.

In either case, at least she is showing an interest in playing again...

SS - So does this mean more muscular types as opposed to long distance runner types, or just plain physically taller heavier than she has in the past?

[Natatude]

I am so glad she will check him out a lil further. . It’s always good to do that. I’ve tried 4 in the last 2 years, 2 suck in the sex department and I don’t mean that in a good way! So even thought he may pass the first meet and greet he may suck for the sex part and if so I’d give him the sorry Charlie message
I myself have a type and didn’t realize it till the past couple years of finding a new one.
Good luck to you both!

[SilverStag]

Long, No, actually she doesn't care for the muscle-bound guys. Her type seems to be "Dad" bod guys with a little bit of extra weight. I think she feels that they are more "grounded". She has little tolerance for guys who are "too into themselves". Those guys usually out themselves during the first meeting when they talk mostly about themselves and/or don't bother to ask she or us much about ourselves or our lives. She wants a "connection" before a physical connection.

Natatude, This latest guy had a bunch of good reviews posted on his profile, most saying he was a lover who paid attention to the woman's responses and adjusted hi play to suit (much like I do). So we were hopeful there would be a connection. The physical issue may be set aside because she enjoyed a "connection" in the conversation, as described above. I do believe that she will wait to see what his next move may be, considering that he lives in another state but visits our city fairly frequently. I suspect that we will hear from him when he is planning his next visit and that she will make her final decision at that point.

Too your point about ineptness of the guys, we have a married couple that we are "mentoring" in their entry into ENM and have played with them (separate room play) a couple times. The wife contacted me complaining about the last 2 guys (male half of the couples) saying they can't find their way around a woman's body with a map AND radar. (I take that as a compliment as I was her first outside of a 22 year marriage and she claimed to be very happy with our results-spurring her/them into more exploration with others).

[SilverStag]

Here we go again....another prospect has popped up. A single 55-year-old that (by reading his profile and later his text messages to me) seems to have his head on straight and his priorities in order. We will meet him at a local lounge where we can watch the first pre-season hockey game together and get to know him a bit.

Cecil likes his looks, and he enjoys the same things she does, so keeping fingers crossed that he isn't a dud.

Will report back...

[SilverStag]

He was a dud. No game, told us wayyyy too much personal info about his life and illnesses/injuries and actually admitted to being ADHD and a couple other conditions (not shaming, just saying you need to keep some things to yourself), kinda spaced out a couple times (said it was due to his ADHD meds) and talked about considering buying testosterone in Mexico and selling it on the black market here! We couldn't get away fast enough.

[dr_zeus]

Sorry to hear that SS, even after years, I know I shouldn't be but I am still surprised how challenging it is finding partners turns out to be in this lifestyle. Best of luck with the next candidate!

[SilverStag]

Thanks. I'm just pleased that she is still up for the adventure of meeting someone new. Keeps the fires burning...

[dr_zeus]

Thanks. I'm just pleased that she is still up for the adventure of meeting someone new. Keeps the fires burning...

Agreed, while we think its hard on us it's beyond comparison for our better halves. As you have expressed so many times, our job is to support and love them on this journey because without them there wouldnt be an adventure.

[SilverStag]

So, we met a new candidate last night over drinks. His profile said he had experience in the LS, but while we were talking, his stories were more "Well I wanted to take my Ex to a club, but because of our high-profile jobs here, we had to go out of town"...then later, he admitted they never really attended a swing club, he just did on-line research.

For some reason he felt compelled to tell us that he had visited a brothel and balked at the high prices for the services. Saying he would never pay that much for sex (Then why was he there? Was he saying that he was meeting us because he desired free sex?? There is always a related expense whether it is dinner, drinks or even a hotel room). That was an odd and unnecessary bit of information.

He's single, age appropriate and has a job that would allow him to afford the adventures that Cecil likes. An issue is that he works as an executive in the hotel business and claims he can't play at a hotel (we are guarded about Cecil playing alone at a guy's house) because he is "too well known by staff".

Cecil liked him and he was a bit "handsy", groping her under the table while we chatted, but so much as to garner her ire. She kissed him as we departed.

As we were departing, I asked him what his real name was (the name he was using was too short and simple, and we have previously run into guys who think they are being clever and "protecting themselves" by using an alias) I think he was a bit surprised when I caught that the name he was using was not his real name. He admitted he was using a different name because he is so concerned about his professional reputation if word got out he was involved in any LS stuff.

When we debriefed on the drive home, Cecil noted that he had not complimented her at all during our visit That, coupled with the groping and lack of actual Hot Wife experience, and over concern about his professional reputation are yellow if not red flags. Cecil is debating whether to try again with him or send him away.

[MarknSusan]

SilverStag thank you for sharing your experiences here. The new candidate you met seems to be somewhat similar to our experiences.

We are on two dating websites. One of them is for the swinger community and the other is primary for those that are often, but not always, attached and are seeking fun on the side. Both require a LOT of work vetting candidates.Its a real challenge with all the fakes, flakes out there and if a meeting does take place the odds, at least for us, are slim that there will be chemistry.

The good news is so far, those that we have met have all been pleasant and one of them has worked out very well which is obviously encouraging.

Thanks again for sharing your experiences here.