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Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2022 2:51 am
by Fotodom
I think it's time to bring up the practical; she wants you to be dom, so tell her she has to use condoms. Tell her she has to suck his cock. Tell her what you want to see her do (and read her reaction to those and modify if necessary). Tell her no anal (unless she really likes it, and if you're cool with it tell her you want to see his cock in her ass). Tell her you want her to suck you while he fucks her.
You'll get it, smile and realize you have a great woman.
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2022 3:04 am
by BDJ
I think TheHammer nailed it (pun intended) when he said "Communicate communicate communicate." Yes you want to spoil her but it's really a joint effort--this hotwife experience. She gets to experience some strange cock and you're happy to support her (it may even be a huge turn-on for you). You both viscerally re-experience all aspects of the event whenever it is on your minds: the preparation, as it occurs, and most importantly, when you reclaim her. That sex should be extra special as it is also a joining of the minds; a celebration of the successful completion of a COMMON endeavor. Do probe her if she becomes reticent about any part of the experience, especially if she's gotten attached to one particular lover. That is a danger sign and reinforces what TheHammer pointed out: Communicate communicate communicate, to reestablish the fact that it is for both of you.
BDJ
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2022 4:21 am
by hoping_she_will_1day
If I may expound on "communication".
My wife and I have had some very deep conversations regarding Hotwifing as she's increased her desire. We were fortunate to have a 3rd party from within OHW ask us some very pointed questions, which we each answered privately then shared with each other several days later. What we thought would be a validation of where we stood instead revealed a great amount of misunderstanding. What we learned about our "communication" was that we hadn't taken the time to make sure that we actually HEARD what each other had been saying. We weren't truely listening to each other. After all this time together it had become easy to just wing it and expect that we were on the same page most of the time. In reality this new revelation explained most of our arguments through the years.
Communication only works if you're really hearing and understanding each other. Seek some sort of confirmation that there isn't any perceived innuendo or double meaning to each other's comments.
It was massively eye opening for us to realize how much work we had to do.
Just my 2 cents.
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2022 5:58 pm
by Whosbeensleeping
hoping_she_will_1day wrote: ↑Fri Oct 21, 2022 4:21 am
If I may expound on "communication".
My wife and I have had some very deep conversations regarding Hotwifing as she's increased her desire. We were fortunate to have a 3rd party from within OHW ask us some very pointed questions, which we each answered privately then shared with each other several days later. What we thought would be a validation of where we stood instead revealed a great amount of misunderstanding. What we learned about our "communication" was that we hadn't taken the time to make sure that we actually HEARD what each other had been saying. We weren't truely listening to each other. After all this time together it had become easy to just wing it and expect that we were on the same page most of the time. In reality this new revelation explained most of our arguments through the years.
Communication only works if you're really hearing and understanding each other. Seek some sort of confirmation that there isn't any perceived innuendo or double meaning to each other's comments.
It was massively eye opening for us to realize how much work we had to do.
Just my 2 cents.
Fascinating discovery. Thanks for sharing it.
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2022 6:17 pm
by Farmgirl
hoping_she_will_1day wrote: ↑Fri Oct 21, 2022 4:21 am
If I may expound on "communication".
My wife and I have had some very deep conversations regarding Hotwifing as she's increased her desire. We were fortunate to have a 3rd party from within OHW ask us some very pointed questions, which we each answered privately then shared with each other several days later. What we thought would be a validation of where we stood instead revealed a great amount of misunderstanding. What we learned about our "communication" was that we hadn't taken the time to make sure that we actually HEARD what each other had been saying. We weren't truely listening to each other. After all this time together it had become easy to just wing it and expect that we were on the same page most of the time. In reality this new revelation explained most of our arguments through the years.
Communication only works if you're really hearing and understanding each other. Seek some sort of confirmation that there isn't any perceived innuendo or double meaning to each other's comments.
It was massively eye opening for us to realize how much work we had to do.
Just my 2 cents.
Glad you two discovered this and are addressing it together
.
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2022 11:42 pm
by ThePerfectHubby87
Here we fucking go....my wife is hot as fuck and I made my fantasy hers...im feeling blessed, nervous and excited! I'm lucky bc I we have a strong relationship. Once the switch turned, she will do whatever I want. That's her kink. I'm moving slowly bc I want to be careful. I don't wantbher to have regrets. I won't. She is so ready. She's been talking to a guy on aff and she's excited.
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2022 10:02 am
by Pecannut
So glad to hear that you have made good advance ! Looking forward to hearing how things proceed
!
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2022 12:11 am
by allways
ThePerfectHubby87 wrote: ↑Sat Nov 05, 2022 11:42 pm
Here we fucking go....my wife is hot as fuck and I made my fantasy hers...im feeling blessed, nervous and excited! I'm lucky bc I we have a strong relationship. Once the switch turned, she will do whatever I want. That's her kind. I'm moving slowly bc I want to be careful. I don't wantbher to have regrets. I won't. She is so ready. She's been talking to a guy on aff and she's excited.
Expect your progress to be two steps forward and one step back. Don't be surprised if out of the blue she goes cold. I remember my mother when she first met my wife, pulling me aside and asking me did I want some advice about how to remain in a happy marriage. Her take was show affection towards my partner daily. Say to her you love her frquently and most importantly mean it. Her next comment was if you do that she will put up with a lot of shit that all men serve up in their relationship.
As for your comment she will do whatever I want
boy are you in for a shock. The pussy always makes the rules. As my wife says all men have two heads and invariablly think with the little one. On another note our friend with benefits came over tonight helping her with some tasks. With a grin on her face she said to him while looking at me if your good tonight you might get lucky
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2022 11:22 am
by CuriousOne36
Can’t wait to hear more about how your situation progresses
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2022 9:00 pm
by alonsonyc
ThePerfectHubby87 wrote: ↑Fri Jan 14, 2022 5:25 am
Hello Hotwives,
Last night I finally confessed to Wife of 12 years that I have a hotwife fantasy. I was so nervous as I love her so much and didnt know how she would take it. She has never even thought about sleeping with other men since we have been together. She is a little more conservative when it comes to sex so I expected this to be a shocking revelation.
I was shocked that she seemed to take the news very well. She said she didn't think it would ever happen but was happy I was able to share this with her. She said the Hotwife idea was kind of hot and empowering but it was new to her because she never thought about being with anyone else. She had 9 partners before meeting me and I think she only enjoyed sex with 1 before me or so she says lol.
She said she wants to let the thought marinate for a while. Can I please get advice from hotwives that never thought they would do this. What should my next step be? How long should I wait to bring it up? I have the feeling once she can wrap her head around the idea she may be interested. What should I prepare for in the coming days or weeks.
Thank you for letting me share.
Newbie here. How exactly did you break the subject? I have this fantasy where you can have sex with others and I stay faithful? How did you present it without going in depth?
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2022 5:11 am
by ThePerfectHubby87
I went in depth. I can share anything with my wife. I don't think there is a way to explain it without telling the full story.
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2022 1:34 pm
by alonsonyc
ThePerfectHubby87 wrote: ↑Fri Nov 11, 2022 5:11 am
I went in depth. I can share anything with my wife. I don't think there is a way to explain it without telling the full story.
Thanks
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2022 11:04 am
by ThePerfectHubby87
Quick update: Everything was going great until I started getting a feeling like this just might be a really bad idea. Don't get me wrong, this will always be a fantasy of mine but I got cold feet and chickened out. I was able to tell my wife before anything happened and she was ok with it. I feel bad because I got all the way this far, got her geared up to go and called it off. I didn't say we could never do it but I'm not ready yet. I really felt like a jerk calling it off.
I'm definitely still open to it but just wanted to slow it down. I never thought this would happen to me. Curious on any advice from hotwives and or stags that went through something similar.
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2022 4:24 pm
by gesdell
Good thing you called it off before it was too late. If you are not ready for this fantasy to become reality there is no harm in admitting it. Try not to yo-yo back and forth with it though.
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2022 1:01 pm
by hotwifesman
ThePerfectHubby87 wrote: ↑Tue Nov 22, 2022 11:04 am
Quick update: Everything was going great until I started getting a feeling like this just might be a really bad idea. Don't get me wrong, this will always be a fantasy of mine but I got cold feet and chickened out. I was able to tell my wife before anything happened and she was ok with it. I feel bad because I got all the way this far, got her geared up to go and called it off. I didn't say we could never do it but I'm not ready yet. I really felt like a jerk calling it off.
I'm definitely still open to it but just wanted to slow it down. I never thought this would happen to me. Curious on any advice from hotwives and or stags that went through something similar.
if you weren't ready then you weren't ready. imagine the roles reversed and you forcing your wife! i was super nervous like im sure everyone was their first time. its like 10 different emotions all at once. one of my few reasons for doing this is the intense feelings that come from this. whatever the outcome to your story is i hope its what you want brother
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2022 12:08 pm
by ThePerfectHubby87
Thank you. I appreciate this comment. This made me feel better.
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2022 11:09 pm
by Heroprus
I came upon this thread today and it has been a tremendous read. I can relate to nearly everything that has happened up to this point Right now I am where you were in the first few pages. Thanks for being so open and honest, even when it wasn't good news.
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2022 10:22 am
by ThePerfectHubby87
I calmed down and realized my wife wants to give it a try....why the hell not. I gave her the ok to move forward. I'll let you know how it goes!
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2022 12:34 pm
by BDJ
Congratulations! Has anyone suggested you contact Leggyman (
memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=111556) or Her Number 1 (
memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=64835)? A long age gap between them but a wealth of information on how negotiate what you're going to go through if you reach out. Those two are the ones I think are most trustworthy for advice in this particular instance. John Jasson is also a wonderful guy but is slammed for time over his business.
Just a thought. I'd suggest Farmgirl (
memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=83967) or LeggySandy (
memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=111206) for her if you haven't already done so.
Good advice is so essential in avoiding the pitfalls lurking in this lifestyle.
BDJ
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2022 11:23 am
by kay0113
I just told mine too!! She intrested
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2022 2:28 pm
by ThePerfectHubby87
Going out Saturday. I got my beautiful wife her first Hotwife anklet and a cute hotwife top. We're going out with clear intentions. Probably nothing will happen but it will be fun for us!
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2022 5:40 pm
by hwfanatic
ThePerfectHubby87 wrote: ↑Wed Dec 07, 2022 2:28 pm
Going out Saturday. I got my beautiful wife her first Hotwife anklet and a cute hotwife top. We're going out with clear intentions. Probably nothing will happen but it will be fun for us!
Pic of hw top please? I’m shopping for mine rn.
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2022 10:35 am
by ThePerfectHubby87
hwfanatic wrote: ↑Wed Dec 07, 2022 5:40 pm
ThePerfectHubby87 wrote: ↑Wed Dec 07, 2022 2:28 pm
Going out Saturday. I got my beautiful wife her first Hotwife anklet and a cute hotwife top. We're going out with clear intentions. Probably nothing will happen but it will be fun for us!
Pic of hw top please? I’m shopping for mine rn.
I just searched for a while on Etsy.
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2022 11:32 am
by ThePerfectHubby87
I have been going back and forth in my head a lot lately. I never thought I would be this guy but I am....I think it's insecurity and ego that is giving me a hard time accepting things are going to change. Inhave wanted this for so long but still feel so much angst.
How can I get over this? Anyone have similar situation happen? I feel bad bc my wife wants it so bad...she is trying to be understanding and is saying all the right things to me. But I know she's ready now. We have had this conversation multiple times. What do you all think? What do you recommend?
Re: Finally Told wife I want her to Hotwife
Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2022 3:47 pm
by TheHammer
Call a timeout. Go see a marriage counselor. Then you can decide. You aren’t ready.
