Another man loves my wife

[co-husband]

Hi Mark, With your amazing three way relation between you, Juli and Brian, have you noticed any changes to these dynamics since the start of the Pandemic? Does Juli share anything about hers and Brian's relations (i.e., sex or otherwise)? I believe there are still some of us who live vicariously through the life we feel you live.

Thanks again for sharing your story with us!

Thank you Shall54,

I know some on the forum have followed my posts since my wife and I started down this road with our divorced friend, so I think it's probably a good thing if I at least give a current update. The relationship is now in its 5th year (pretty amazing to think about), but I'll try to be succinct in my update.

> Back in 2015 when I first brought up the idea to my wife about her giving mercy sex to our friend who had been divorced the previous year, she agreed to it because having been a shared wife in her first marriage years ago, the concept of having sex with another man was not a foreign or shocking concept for her. So she did sleep with him on Valentine's Day 2015.

Since then the relationship has had up and down moments, even taking a break from it for almost a year in 2016.
But after restarting a "Friend-with-Benefits" relationship again in 2017, their emotional bond steadily grew to where in early 2018, I came to the realization that we had "crossed the Rubicon" with Brian, and there was no turning back. Juli and Brian were bonded to each other, not as a husband and wife bond, but very similar at least sexually and even emotionally, to the point where Brian had his own unique sexual relationship with my wife. Exclusive from anyone else including me. I do not mean that he was having sex with her and I wasn't at the time, I mean that what they experienced together in the privacy of the bedroom, was exclusively their's. Even I was not privy to what they did with each other. (except for general understanding of various sex positions that they enjoyed, but what I mean is their bond was unique, just as my bond with Juli is unique).

While our marriage (now almost 40 years) is still very solid, Brian is an undeniable part of our relationship.
Because I know some have been faithful to read my posts and allow me to use this forum as a personal journal, I will admit that Juli and I did abstain from sex with each other for several months earlier this spring and summer. There were reasons for that which I won't take time to enumerate in this particular post, but will say that we both had our reasons for the abstention. Juli did continue to see Brian throughout that time,

We are now once again back to having marital sex ,and our bed is as good as it has been in a while.

I hope all of you are well and enjoying your own Hot Wife experiences.

Mark

[YAYOI]

Interesting read!

[Guhunkadorn]

Glad to hear that you two are good.

Look forward to update on the reasoning behind your months of abstaining from sex and what you learned about each other during that period.

Thank you.

[co-husband]

Glad to hear that you two are good.

Look forward to update on the reasoning behind your months of abstaining from sex and what you learned about each other during that period.

Thank you.

I know my brief mention that Juli and I abstained from sex with each other for about 3 months this summer probably deserves some explanation. So even though it's a very personal and private episode in our marriage, I suppose this forum does provide sufficient anonymity for me to be very frank and open about what happened...

First, the reason for Juli and I abstaining from sex with each other for a few months was...because for about a year, I have been meeting with a divorced male who lives about an hour away. Juli did not know about my bisexual activity, so I met with him clandestinely and usually when I knew that Juli was with Brian for a few hours.

But in June, Juli happened to see a text message come in on my phone while I was in the shower. It was from my male friend, and the message was obviously sexual in nature. So when she asked me about it, I confessed that I had been sexually active with him.

Understandably, Juli's reaction was one of surprise, and the fact that I had been having intercourse with him shocked her.

Our relationship was impacted in the bedroom...not otherwise. I mean that we still continued to enjoy our marital interaction except for sex. So we didn't sleep together at night for several weeks. Then gradually she allowed me back into our bed, but still not in a sexual way.

She continued to meet with Brian during this time, and I kept meeting with my friend. So for about 3 months it appeared as though Juli and I would remain husband and wife...no question, but would have separate sex partners.

However in September, she began warming to me again...gradually. First allowing me to see her nude,...and then touching....and finally in October we began having intercourse again. Since then we have had "quickies" once a week, but still being with our other partners once a week as well.

So she has accepted my bi-sexuality and even accepts me taking my friend bareback.
So that is the detailed explanation of what I mentioned in my previous post.

I know Juli needed time to process this new reality and to come to terms with it in her own mind and emotions. So I guess it was needful, even necessary for my bisexuality to come to light, and for us to deal with it as a couple.

And now Juli is, while maybe not "enthusiastic" is at least accepting and even supportive. She has said that she understands that if she can have a Friend-with Benefits, then it's only fair for me to have one too. And she said that she would prefer I have this type of relationship with another man rather than with a woman. And I have no desire for another woman other than Juli. And the satisfaction that I experience with my male friend is in giving him the sexual release that he needs and doesn't get otherwise...being a divorced man who lives alone.

This has been a very personal confession for me to make. And I hope you won't judge me too harshly.

Mark

[samlowen]

No judgment from me. Thank you for sharing such a personal story.

I love the fact that Juli is level headed in her reasoning that you should be able to have a FWB too and not just jealous or looking to keep your side closed.

With this new revelation, have you found yourself every fantasizing that you and Brian had a sexual relationship too?

[co-husband]

No judgment from me. Thank you for sharing such a personal story.

I love the fact that Juli is level headed in her reasoning that you should be able to have a FWB too and not just jealous or looking to keep your side closed.

With this new revelation, have you found yourself every fantasizing that you and Brian had a sexual relationship too?

Thank you.
Honestly I have had that fantasy about Brian for a very long time. I would definitely service him in a cuckold situation. But it's not a realistic expectation. While I haven't had that conversation with him, it's obvious to me he has no desire that way.

Mark

[mwdad]

No judgment from me either - in fact that is a very hot way to express your desire to please and to offer release for a friend. Should we assume that you are the female in that relationship and that while he penetrates you, you do not reciprocate?

[mwdad]

No judgment from me either - in fact that is a very hot way to express your desire to please and to offer release for a friend. Should we assume that you are the female in that relationship and that while he penetrates you, you do not reciprocate?

[samlowen]

Has Juli made other inquiries into your relationship with your friend that you might be comfortable sharing?

[curiouscouple122]

Glad to hear that you two are good.

Look forward to update on the reasoning behind your months of abstaining from sex and what you learned about each other during that period.

Thank you.

I know my brief mention that Juli and I abstained from sex with each other for about 3 months this summer probably deserves some explanation. So even though it's a very personal and private episode in our marriage, I suppose this forum does provide sufficient anonymity for me to be very frank and open about what happened...

First, the reason for Juli and I abstaining from sex with each other for a few months was...because for about a year, I have been meeting with a divorced male who lives about an hour away. Juli did not know about my bisexual activity, so I met with him clandestinely and usually when I knew that Juli was with Brian for a few hours.

But in June, Juli happened to see a text message come in on my phone while I was in the shower. It was from my male friend, and the message was obviously sexual in nature. So when she asked me about it, I confessed that I had been sexually active with him.

Understandably, Juli's reaction was one of surprise, and the fact that I had been having intercourse with him shocked her.

Our relationship was impacted in the bedroom...not otherwise. I mean that we still continued to enjoy our marital interaction except for sex. So we didn't sleep together at night for several weeks. Then gradually she allowed me back into our bed, but still not in a sexual way.

She continued to meet with Brian during this time, and I kept meeting with my friend. So for about 3 months it appeared as though Juli and I would remain husband and wife...no question, but would have separate sex partners.

However in September, she began warming to me again...gradually. First allowing me to see her nude,...and then touching....and finally in October we began having intercourse again. Since then we have had "quickies" once a week, but still being with our other partners once a week as well.

So she has accepted my bi-sexuality and even accepts me taking my friend bareback.
So that is the detailed explanation of what I mentioned in my previous post.

I know Juli needed time to process this new reality and to come to terms with it in her own mind and emotions. So I guess it was needful, even necessary for my bisexuality to come to light, and for us to deal with it as a couple.

And now Juli is, while maybe not "enthusiastic" is at least accepting and even supportive. She has said that she understands that if she can have a Friend-with Benefits, then it's only fair for me to have one too. And she said that she would prefer I have this type of relationship with another man rather than with a woman. And I have no desire for another woman other than Juli. And the satisfaction that I experience with my male friend is in giving him the sexual release that he needs and doesn't get otherwise...being a divorced man who lives alone.

This has been a very personal confession for me to make. And I hope you won't judge me too harshly.

Mark

So happy to hear that she is accepting of your bisexuality. One of the most complex parts about growing together in marriage is discovering who you are and what you like later in life. The fact that you both accept, enjoy and don't repress or judge each other is huge!! I hope all is good in your life.

Take care
CC112

[Guhunkadorn]

Thank you for sharing that deeply personal back story; demonstrating once again why I believe your journey ranks among the highest on this site in terms of authenticity and instruction.

Now I'm visualizing Brian and your new companion over for Thanksgiving.

You and Juli are wonderful people.

[submissivehusband]

No judgement here. I agree.

[co-husband]

No judgment from me either - in fact that is a very hot way to express your desire to please and to offer release for a friend. Should we assume that you are the female in that relationship and that while he penetrates you, you do not reciprocate?

Yes, you are exactly correct in describing my relationship with my friend. I am in the female role each time, and do find satisfaction providing that kind of release for him.

Mark

[co-husband]

Has Juli made other inquiries into your relationship with your friend that you might be comfortable sharing?

Juli's main inquiries were about the penetration / intercourse that I was having with my friend. Understandably she wanted to know that we had at least taken precautions to ensure we were disease free, and he and I did both confirm that before we began bare sex.
Otherwise, Juli has not wanted to know details of our sexual activity itself.

After a while, she began to be more understanding and accepting, and she did question me then about the emotional bond between me and him,..and I assured her that my relationship with him is sexual and not emotional. I think she assumed that, but needed to hear me say it.

Then, I do believe she felt relief that I was not in an affair with another woman, so because of that she has been more accepting of my bisexual activity.

Mark

[co-husband]

Glad to hear that you two are good.

Look forward to update on the reasoning behind your months of abstaining from sex and what you learned about each other during that period.

Thank you.

I know my brief mention that Juli and I abstained from sex with each other for about 3 months this summer probably deserves some explanation. So even though it's a very personal and private episode in our marriage, I suppose this forum does provide sufficient anonymity for me to be very frank and open about what happened...

First, the reason for Juli and I abstaining from sex with each other for a few months was...because for about a year, I have been meeting with a divorced male who lives about an hour away. Juli did not know about my bisexual activity, so I met with him clandestinely and usually when I knew that Juli was with Brian for a few hours.

But in June, Juli happened to see a text message come in on my phone while I was in the shower. It was from my male friend, and the message was obviously sexual in nature. So when she asked me about it, I confessed that I had been sexually active with him.

Understandably, Juli's reaction was one of surprise, and the fact that I had been having intercourse with him shocked her.

Our relationship was impacted in the bedroom...not otherwise. I mean that we still continued to enjoy our marital interaction except for sex. So we didn't sleep together at night for several weeks. Then gradually she allowed me back into our bed, but still not in a sexual way.

She continued to meet with Brian during this time, and I kept meeting with my friend. So for about 3 months it appeared as though Juli and I would remain husband and wife...no question, but would have separate sex partners.

However in September, she began warming to me again...gradually. First allowing me to see her nude,...and then touching....and finally in October we began having intercourse again. Since then we have had "quickies" once a week, but still being with our other partners once a week as well.

So she has accepted my bi-sexuality and even accepts me taking my friend bareback.
So that is the detailed explanation of what I mentioned in my previous post.

I know Juli needed time to process this new reality and to come to terms with it in her own mind and emotions. So I guess it was needful, even necessary for my bisexuality to come to light, and for us to deal with it as a couple.

And now Juli is, while maybe not "enthusiastic" is at least accepting and even supportive. She has said that she understands that if she can have a Friend-with Benefits, then it's only fair for me to have one too. And she said that she would prefer I have this type of relationship with another man rather than with a woman. And I have no desire for another woman other than Juli. And the satisfaction that I experience with my male friend is in giving him the sexual release that he needs and doesn't get otherwise...being a divorced man who lives alone.

This has been a very personal confession for me to make. And I hope you won't judge me too harshly.

Mark

So happy to hear that she is accepting of your bisexuality. One of the most complex parts about growing together in marriage is discovering who you are and what you like later in life. The fact that you both accept, enjoy and don't repress or judge each other is huge!! I hope all is good in your life.

Take care
CC112

Thank you.
As we get older, it does become easier to explore our sexuality without it feeling like the world is coming to an end. We could not have done this as a younger couple because of the risk or perceived threat to our marriage. But now we can accept a sexual relationship with others outside our marriage, without concern of the marriage ending.

Even through our sexual abstention there was never an inkling of concern by either of us about our marriage. It's amazing how we were so naturally able to compartmentalize this issue and to confine it to the bedroom. Otherwise you would not be able to tell that anything had changed between us.

Mark

[Mad Dog65]

Thanks for sharing Mark. What an incredible journey this has been for both you and Juli. Congratulations to both for exploring your desires and needs without shame. I am happy to hear that Juli has accepted you back into your bed. I know from experience that the feeling of betrayal can be hard to overcome.

MD

[regular3]

During that period of no sex with you, did she increase the frequency with Brian to fill the void ?

[co-husband]

During that period of no sex with you, did she increase the frequency with Brian to fill the void ?

Actually yes she did. Most weeks during that time she met with him twice in the week. Now back to once a week.

[Johor]

This seems like a natural progression in your life, as it is shared here. To facilitate the sexual gratification of those you care about. It seems to give you a deep satisfaction that goes beyond what can be experienced from sex alone. You are a lucky man to have such a wide and varied life.

[nevertoolate]

I worried about your secretive bi activity and I am glad you have been honest with her. It just feels better to be up front, and I assume you feel better for it too. Good to hear you are both enjoying yourselves and sharing with others.

[Des 31]

Love eventually comes into the equation when my wife has been having sex for a lengthy time, but she has had no experience of the feeling of love with a man with any man who hasn't yet fucked her. Your circumstance must have been great for your wife when his penis finally penetrated her.

[nluvlorn]

Hi Mark,

Thanks for sharing your great adventure journey with us all. Could you please describe Brian's cock for us? How detailed look you had and how it compares with you?

Thanks,
nluvlorn

Mark,
The more Brian comes around, the more opportunities for him and Julie to pick up on your tendencies and desires. Just keep that in mind. It might be nice if he became a more frequent visitor. Small things like getting him a drink or doing other things that would be slightly out of the ordinary for two friends will bolster his notion of superiority and let Julie began to see him as the alpha in the room. When you answer a question, little things like yes Sir tend to define your status as the beta without seeming cheesy. Clearing the table after dinner so they can talk or go to bed would be another thing. Have you ever given Julie a hint that you would like to go down on her just after Brian finishes? I'm sure that you know all of this so I'm just kinda urging you on. If in fact what you indicated above is what you really want.

Hi D+D.....Yes in fact this was the second time in 6 weeks that Brian has been at our house, and the first time he has spent the night with us. I would have been fine with him sleeping through the night with Juli, but she was the one who wanted him to sleep in the guest bedroom. She still has the good sense of protecting our marriage by not getting too involved with Brian other than their sexual relationship which is somewhat limited (not in the sex act itself, but in the frequency of their meetings), so I'm sure her wisdom is still the best to follow.

When Brian was in our home in August, I did get to prepare the bed for them and while they were both present and just beginning to undress. That was when I had the boldness to ask Brian to let me see his manhood (so I could see what Juli enjoys) and he obliged me by pulling down his underwear..for which I was grateful. After 4 years I finally now have a mental image of what his Cock looks like (which I would frankly describe as "beautiful" and I even said as much while I was looking at it). So I am confident that the events of the last 6 weeks are yet another progression in our 3-way relationship with Brian. What at one time I would have considered improbable, has now happened. So I anticipate things will continue to develop even further, but at a steady pace and in its own time.

Mark

[co-husband]

I'm sorry nluvlorn that I just now saw your question!

When I saw Brian's cock last summer he was just getting undressed and was not yet full erect, so I saw him naked for the first time when he was semi-hard. But even in a semi-flacid condition his cock was very beautifully shaped and nice size. I would guess that he is between 6 and 7 inches when fully erect...probably closer to 7.

Brian is circumsized and has a nicely shaped head.
As I told Brian that day, I can see why Juli enjoys it so much.
I could tell I embarrassed Juli when I said that, but I think it pleased Brian to hear it from the husband of his girlfriend :-)

Mark

[Mad Dog65]

Hi Mark,

I would think that there are opportunities if he is happy to show you his cock. I hope that it continues to progress in a direction that you and Julie are comfortable with. I have enjoyed this thread over the years. Thank you for taking the time to write your story.

[co-husband]

Hi Mark,

I would think that there are opportunities if he is happy to show you his cock. I hope that it continues to progress in a direction that you and Julie are comfortable with. I have enjoyed this thread over the years. Thank you for taking the time to write your story.

Thank you Mad Dog65,

I haven't posted for a while because we've been busy with life, and also we have really settled into a very nice routine with Juli meting with Brian at least once a week. Sometimes twice.

I have been meeting once a week also with a bi male friend which I have been with for almost a year.

So there hasn't been a lot of new things to report. But all really is going very well for us.
Juli and Brian are now in their 6th year of being sex partners, so he remains single because he does get his sexual needs met by my wife. And it's reciprocal because he meets her needs too. He truly is her primary sex partner.

Honestly the main change that has taken place since 2015 when Juli first agreed to sleep with Brian, has been with me personally.
I have had an undeniable transition toward a desire for male intimacy.

Even though Juli and I do still have intercourse once a week, it is brief and mainly serves to keep our emotional marital bond strong.
But sexually we each have moved closer to our other partners. Juli with Brian, and I with my male friend.

So I suppose that is an update on our current situation.

Mark